WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 39: Empty the Bottles, Fill Your Stamina
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Mouse had found a temporary place to rest.
An old carpet covered the floor.
When Sir Mancha swept it aside, a square door appeared beneath it.
A metal hatch would be a more fitting description.
“I thought the sound was different whenever we stepped on this spot.”
Creeeak. Creeeak.
It was somewhat rusty, as though no one had touched it for a long time.
When Sir Mancha lifted it with all his strength, a pit someone had dug and a chest appeared beneath it.
“Oh! A locked chest!”
It was the sort of chest that clearly looked as though it would be packed with valuables.
Batuli nudged my side.
“This is the good news I wanted to tell you about.”
A hidden chest!
Even in a situation like this, my heart pounded at the thought that we might make a fortune in Ether.
Batuli glanced at me.
“We won’t know whether it will really be worth anything until we open it.”
“Experts like me can tell at a glance. This is a big score.”
“A big score?”
“See how there are three keyholes in that lock? Why would they need such a sturdy lock to secure this chest?”
I shoved my Lockpick into the lock.
「Would you like to unlock it?」
「Cost: 1,000 Ether」
「Success rate: below 1%」
Clunk!
With the sound of the mechanism coming loose, the firmly sealed lock opened.
The heavy lock in my hand felt rather nice.
“Ho. To open such a lock in one try, the squad leader certainly has skill.”
“Hehe, Sir Mancha can really recognize talent. Your years haven’t gone to waste!”
“So, what exactly is inside the chest?”
Sir Mancha, who had not seemed particularly greedy, breathed heavily through his nose.
I was dying of curiosity too.
“Let’s find out.”
Creeeak.
When I opened the chest with its rusty hinges, it was filled with red.
Glass bottles filled with red liquid.
Just as I wondered what they were, Sir Mancha gasped in shock.
“Are these all Red Potions? And this many of them!”
Red Potions?
Were they the same things Felix had used before?
How much had each one been again?
“There are forty! At around one million Ether apiece, that makes forty million Ether!”
“...Ten million each!?”
My heart felt ready to burst from the greater-than-expected haul!
Still, I looked around in case there was anything else and spotted a note.
「To Madam Edmond.」
「I skimmed one bottle at a time from the sewer guard’s supplies.」
「The quality is guaranteed. It could make even a hundred-year-old man father a son.」
「Just make sure the payment arrives.」
“Looks like even ordinary guards received Red Potions during the Empire’s golden age.”
Batuli sounded impressed.
“Ahem! Then how about we divide them fairly?”
At the suggestion of Sir Mancha, the oldest among us, everyone nodded.
I was satisfied too.
‘It’s not fair at all, actually.’
I got ten Red Potions, plus the lock itself.
No one seemed to know that this sturdy lock would make quite a valuable collectible.
‘I paid Ether to unlock it, so it’s fine if I take this little extra, right?’
Hehehe.
Picking up little leftovers like this was the joy of being a Thief.
# # #
The rest had been sweet, but we eventually had to get up.
Even while we rested here, the main force was probably dancing with maggot-infested Akam.
“If we pass just a few walls from here, th-the lord’s room is there. I saw it with 「Mouse’s Eye」, so I’m sure.”
According to Mouse, the room where the “lord” stayed was near the rest area.
We passed through the walls using Mouse Hole.
Swoosh.
What a damn amazing blessing.
The lord’s room we reached that way.
Whoosh.
Filthy water sprayed from drains on every side and gathered there.
Fortunately, it did not seem to be rising, and it was only ankle-deep.
At the center of the round clearing, a rotten Erdari sat on a throne made of bones, its eyes closed.
“Looks like that bastard hasn’t noticed us.”
Was it asleep?
Could corpses sleep too?
Sir Mancha spoke in a very quiet voice.
“I heard the Erdari’s senses were as keen as wild beasts. Could it be a trap?”
A trap?
No, I thought differently.
The constant sound of water and the stench of rotting corpses must have dulled its senses.
“This is our chance.”
Being able to start a battle with an ambush was a tremendous advantage.
What incredible luck.
“Then I’ll give you a blessing before we begin.”
Batuli placed a hand on Sir Mancha’s lance, my shuriken, and Mouse’s staff, then prayed.
“《Sun’s Blessing》.”
Fwoooosh.
The weapons shone, giving off light.
“...It’s warm?”
“Light blessings have an effect similar to an Ether Torch on their own. Naturally, they work well on those corrupted by the Land of Night.”
This Batuli.
Why was she being so helpful?
‘At this rate, outstanding student Batuli will take all my points.’
Ahem.
After clearing my throat, I held out my palm.
“Then let’s smear on some of my blood too. They say it works well on corpses.”
“N-no, I’m good. Lord Jweperi doesn’t like it...”
Mouse recoiled in horror.
That roughly finished our battle preparations.
“Then Mouse, don’t you have some powerful magic?”
“No.”
It would have been nice to begin our ambush with a powerful skill.
As I wondered whether there was any good way to do it, Batuli raised a hand.
“Then I shall pray for Divine Punishment.”
Batuli raised her mace high and chanted.
“─I beseech the Emperor of Ten Thousand Kings.”
“─Send down the light that drives away the darkness.”
“《Divine Punishment》!”
Krrrooom!
Thunder rang out in the dry world.
Then a yellow flash blazed before lightning struck the rotten Erdari’s body.
Crackle!
The impact was intense.
Every hair on my arms and head stood on end.
“Charge!”
Without taking time to admire it, Sir Mancha gripped his lance and rushed at the Erdari.
The Erdari that had been sitting on the bone throne spat out rotten blood and rose.
“What? When did you get this far?”
Shing.
It drew a sword shaped like a human spine from its waist and grinned.
“I’ll make the men my underlings and eat the priest.”
“Ram!”
Sir Mancha thrust his lance at the Erdari with all his strength.
The Erdari lightly swung its sword.
Whoosh, clang!
It was as casual as swatting a fly.
“Urgh!”
Yet Sir Mancha crashed into the floor with a splash despite his weight.
‘Does that make any sense?’
How could such a skinny body have that much strength?
The Erdari licked its lips.
“Looks like Rendo these days don’t know who I am. I am Shando’s 134th ascendant... Huh? What was my name again? My memory...”
The Erdari dug through its head with its fingers.
Splatter, dribble.
Brain matter spilled from its rotten head, but it did not seem to care.
‘Now!’
I took advantage of it digging through its brain and threw a shuriken.
Whoosh, crunch!
I heard the shuriken pierce its forehead.
“Guuurgh!”
The Erdari screamed and vomited black blood.
“Guh... What is this, poison?”
As expected, Snake’s Blood upgraded to Level 3 was truly effective against Akam!
“How does my blood taste?”
“Hehehe, your poison is good. To give this much pain even to someone whose every sense has gone dull?”
But...
This crazy Erdari grinned as though it was happy about my poison.
“I’ll put my mouth to your neck and suck every drop of blood from you!”
─What?
The crazy Erdari rushed at me.
Splash, splash, splash.
It was so fast that it looked like it was running across the water.
“Kaaah!”
The Erdari bared its teeth at my neck.
Just as I thought my blood was surely about to be stolen.
“A necklace?”
It stopped dead.
Then it clutched its head and began screaming!
“─Bring me the necklace...? No! No! Get out of my head!”
Shing, shing!
Now it swung its sword mercilessly in every direction.
As though it were dancing.
“I am Shando’s ascendant! I am not one of your collectibles!”
Slice, slice.
The walls were cut apart like tofu, and even Sir Mancha’s thick lance was cleanly severed in half.
“My steel lance...!?”
Clang!
I threw a shuriken just in case, but its mysterious sword energy knocked it away.
“Aah!”
Then the Erdari cut Mouse.
Mouse’s left arm was severed, and the moment Batuli reached out to heal him, the Erdari’s sword energy sliced off Batuli’s hand too.
“Kyah!”
You fucking wrist-cutting maniac!
“Guaaah! Ugh, ah, my hand...!”
Mouse picked up his hand.
He pressed it against his severed wrist and tried to take a Red Potion from his waist, but it looked difficult with one hand.
“M-my hand... Why won’t my hand reattach?!”
Mouse was on the verge of fainting.
“Kyahhh!”
Priest Batuli clutched her wrist and continued screaming.
Beside them, the crazy Erdari went wild while digging through its own head.
“Aah! Shut up! I said shut up! Get out of my head! Aaaaah!”
It was a situation mad enough to drive anyone insane just by watching it!
Sir Mancha struck my shoulder.
“Squad leader, I think we must admit the operation has failed! Let us run first!”
“Leave them behind?”
“If we force ourselves to save them, we’ll die too!”
He was right!
But I could not easily bring myself to leave behind people I had grown attached to.
There was also a more important reason I could not run away like this.
‘If I fail the mission and return now, my goal of graduating in the top five will be ruined!’
What the hell was I supposed to do?
The only thing that could deal real damage was my blood.
Every shuriken I threw got knocked away.
“Guh... Don’t leave me behind...!”
My eyes met Batuli’s.
Eyes yearning to live.
Those pupils shone like glass in the darkness!
“Ah! Right! Glass!”
A brilliant idea flashed through my mind.
“Sir Mancha, give me every potion you have left!”
“What? Is this Thief really getting greedy for money here of all places? Fine! I’ll give you every potion I have, so run already!”
“That’s not it!”
I poured a Red Potion onto the floor, then cut my wrist with a shuriken.
Splaash.
Blood poured out.
I filled the glass bottle with that blood and threw it.
“Die!”
Whoosh!
The crazy Erdari cut the glass bottle apart.
But the liquid inside spilled out and covered its face.
Splaash.
Sizzle!
“Gyaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Fuck! How does that taste, you demon bastard?!”
Separate from how satisfying it was, tears streamed down my face!
Each bullet cost one million Ether!
I had no idea how many I would have to throw before this corpse demon bastard went down, and it was driving me crazy with how wasteful it was!
Seeing my tears, Sir Mancha’s expression grew serious too.
“Those tears hold not a shred of falsehood in your concern for your comrades! I am ashamed of myself!”
Sir Mancha put down his weapon.
With tears pouring down his face, he charged at the Erdari.
“I’ll hold this bastard down somehow, so hit it with the bottles!”
“Graaah!”
Taking advantage of the brief opening, I used Shadow Companion too.
My shadow threw shadow poison bottles as well, doubling the attacks.
On top of that, my poison’s damage had been strengthened by the +20 Breakthrough Stone!
My head was spinning from blood loss, but drinking a Red Potion gave me strength.
“Empty the bottles, fill my stamina! I’m a genius!”
“Guaaah!”
“Squad leader! It’s working! This bastard’s body is getting weaker and weaker!”
“Guh... Grrrr...”
The corpse Erdari’s entire body melted away, exposing bare bones.
The creature that had been raging dropped to one knee and slumped over.
“...I remember. I am... My name is... Shando’s... Valara...”
Thud.
The Erdari finally collapsed.
“Fuck off! I don’t care what your name is!”
I searched the Erdari’s corpse.
Inside its pouch, I found several Tempering Stones for enhancing equipment and a key!
Tempering Stones!
As I celebrated, Sir Mancha shouted even more happily.
“With that bone key, we should be able to open that bone chest over there!”
While my shadow supported Mouse and Batuli, I inserted the key I had found in the Erdari’s pouch into the bone chest in the corner.
Click.
The lock opened smoothly.
When I opened it, a dazzling golden light shot toward the ceiling.
Twaaaang!
It looked just like a pillar.
As I wondered what it was, Mouse, who had been crying while holding his severed hand, seemed to forget the pain. His face brightened as he shouted, spraying spit everywhere.
“A... A golden pillar of light! There must be something unbelievably good inside!!!”
Footnotes:
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