WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 4: Genius of Grinding # 4
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A severed head held in the hands of a headless body.
Its ghastly face moved its lips.
【Offer Ether to me. In return, I shall bestow my blessing upon you.】
I had been through all sorts of things, but this was my first time being asked to make a deal by a dead man.
Of course, I was immediately suspicious.
It was asking me to offer up Ether I had literally earned through blood, sweat, and tears.
“What reason do I have to give you my Ether?”
I watched for a chance to lunge at it.
The beheaded monster clicked its tongue.
【You are a suspicious one. Kehehe. Good. Suspicious fellows live longer. I do not wish for the one I bless to die and collapse so soon.】
The monster struck the staff in its free hand against the ground.
Text appeared before my eyes.
「Star Key Lv.1」
「If there is a keyhole, it has a low chance of opening the lock.」
「Black Foot Lv.1」
「Completely eliminates the sound of footsteps for a set time.」
「Schemer’s Blade Lv.1」
「When attacking an enemy from behind, the chance of inflicting a critical injury increases.」
【Offer me 100,000 Ether. Promise me 1 percent of all Ether you earn from now on, and I shall grant you one of these blessings!】
100,000 Ether.
And 1 percent of all the Ether I would earn in the future.
In other words, the monster before me wanted a long-term contract.
If I used these strange abilities to earn a great deal of Ether, the headless monster would profit from its 1 percent share.
The profit structure was clear.
“Is that all?”
For some reason, I found myself speaking politely.
I was asking whether it had anything else hidden up its sleeve, but the headless monster clicked its tongue again.
【I have shown you plenty already! Of course, some blessings only reveal their true worth if you offer far more Ether!】
It did not seem to be hiding anything.
Anyway.
They all seemed useful in different ways, so I had to think it over.
First, Star Key.
「Star Key Lv.1」
「If there is a keyhole, it has a low chance of opening the lock.」
Hammer said he expected me to fill the role of a thief, right?
That I would have to pick locks and disarm traps.
I had told Hammer I lacked that kind of experience.
But Hammer told me I did not need to worry about that.
Hammer had not explained further, but perhaps Hammer had expected a deal like this to be available?
I did not know how it worked, but it was pretty amazing.
What about Black Foot?
It completely erased my footsteps for a set time.
If I had possessed an ability like this earlier, I might have had a few fewer convictions.
Lastly, Schemer’s Blade.
It increased the chance of inflicting a critical injury when attacking from behind.
Was it similar to landing a critical attack in a game?
It did not seem useful right away.
“I’ll take Star Key.”
【Kehaha! An excellent choice! The Land of Night is full of tightly locked doors, safes, and secrets! Whoever gets their hands on what is locked away first becomes its owner!】
“Ooh!”
It had been a long time since anyone praised one of my choices.
I had mistaken it for a suspicious monster, but maybe it was unexpectedly nice.
【I am Asibarr, the Black Star. My Blessed one! Survive for a long, long time and bring me much Ether! If you need another deal, seek me in the Land of Night!】
Asibarr?
The name sounded strangely like a swear word.
Soon, the monster approached me and tapped my forehead with its staff.
It did not hurt. I was just startled, and stars flashed before my eyes.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
Just as when I had entered this place, black mist seemed to wrap around me.
When I came to my senses, I was back in the room with the wooden table engraved with a map.
“Hey, rookie! You’re alive! What the hell happened?”
Hammer, the armored freak, rushed over, grabbed my shoulders, and shook me hard.
I could not see Hammer’s expression through the armor, but Hammer seemed to be demanding an explanation, so I told the whole story.
“That’s what happened.”
“280,000 Ether? You earned 280,000 Ether in twenty-seven hours? Then you offered 100,000 Ether to a monster called Asibarr and received a blessing?”
Clank. Tremble, tremble.
Hammer’s armor shook.
“Hermit, have you ever heard that name? Asibarr, the Black Star. It sounds like some kind of swear word.”
“Asibarr... It’s my first time hearing it too. It doesn’t seem to be a famous idol. It was probably a thief-type idol that fell during the War of Night. If it gives blessings away for only 100,000 Ether, it might not be anything special.”
Judging by their reaction, strange beings appearing to offer blessings were not all that rare.
They called them idols.
And apparently, Asibarr’s asking price of 100,000 Ether was rather cheap.
“Hammer, how much do blessings usually cost?”
“It differs by idol, so I can’t give you an exact number, but they usually charge several million Ether as a base price. The better the blessing, the more expensive it gets. On the other hand, cheap blessings often have crude effects.”
My Star Key had cost only 100,000 Ether.
Of course, Asibarr also demanded 1 percent of my future earnings.
Still, compared with several million Ether, it felt cheap.
That Asibarr.
It spoke so arrogantly that I thought it was incredibly powerful.
Maybe that was not the case.
Everyone exaggerated when selling things.
“Yore! It might be an insignificant blessing, but don’t get too discouraged! As far as I know, you’re the first person to kill only Nightrings on their first expedition, earn 280,000 Ether, and come back with a blessing! You’re completely insane!”
“I agree.”
Hermit shook her head, then raised a hand to pinch her nose.
“More importantly... when was the last time you washed?”
Uh...
I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed.
I hesitated without answering, and Hermit grabbed my wrist.
“Come with me first. I’ll show you where the bathhouse is.”
# # #
The bathhouse was exactly what a bathhouse should be.
It reminded me of the public bathhouses I had visited a few times in my previous life.
Even so, I figured a facility like this had to be impressive in this world.
“Huh.”
While taking off my clothes, I noticed something strange.
A key-shaped tattoo had appeared on the back of my left hand.
「Star Key Lv.1」
「If there is a keyhole, it has a low chance of opening the lock.」
“Ooh! Ooooh!”
So what happened with Asibarr was not a dream.
This was the blessing.
In other words, I had gained something like a superpower.
How did I use it?
I wanted to test it immediately.
“Yore! Now that you’ve washed up, you finally look like a person. I was thinking about scrubbing your back for you!”
I was getting dressed in the bathhouse changing room when Hammer came over and thumped me on the back.
Hammer sounded happier than when we first met.
“I thought you would just be a lazy bastard like your predecessors, but you’ve got real grit! I hate punks and gangsters, but I’ve changed my opinion of you!”
“Really?”
“Yeah! You kept doing that repetitive work for twenty-seven hours. Ordinary grit would never be enough. Most people need around three hours just to gather 5,000 Ether before coming out.”
That was astonishing.
It took them three hours to gather 5,000 Ether?
How lazy were the people in this world?
If I had grinded that inefficiently in my previous life, my computer’s electricity bill would have cost more than I earned.
As I wondered about that, Hammer threw an arm around my shoulders.
“Hermit didn’t say it, but Hermit probably thinks better of you too! That lazy one personally showed you where the bathhouse was, so it must be true.”
“Ooooh!”
At the mention of Hermit, I thought of the girl in the pointed hat I had seen earlier.
She looked about my age.
I could not see her face well because of the hat, but her voice had been kind of cute.
Hermit thought well of me?
If I played my cards right, could I make her my girlfriend?
It was my first time hearing that a girl thought well of me, and my heart pounded.
Hammer soon warned me in a low voice.
“Still, don’t get too friendly. Hermit hates thieves for various reasons. It’s the same in every unit, but especially in ours. Anyway!”
Hammer led me somewhere.
“Now we’re going to settle the Ether you earned. You obtained 180,000 Ether in total, so you must offer half of that, 90,000 Ether, to His Majesty. Put the Ether into this wagon!”
Clang!
It felt as though someone had struck the back of my head with a lump of metal.
“...What? Offer it?”
I had to offer my Ether to someone?
I could only stand there with my mouth open, and Hammer put a hand on my shoulder.
“You really don’t know anything, do you?”
“Yes!”
“Do you know how this barrier is maintained? It is through the power of His Majesty the Emperor, who defeated the demons of night. But that power is not free. It requires Ether.”
I had wondered how such a massive barrier could be maintained without proper repairs.
It seemed blessings and magic powered by Ether were involved.
“For hundreds of years, His Majesty has sat upon the throne and devoted all his strength to holding back the forces of night. It is the duty of us Imperial citizens to aid His Majesty. And Ether is at the heart of that duty.”
I did not understand everything.
But I understood that an Emperor had been sitting in a chair for hundreds of years, working hard to save the world.
Could a person even live for hundreds of years?
Was the Emperor really human?
Still, I had to give half the Ether I worked so hard to earn to someone whose face I had never seen.
So this was what pension contributions and taxes felt like.
Clink, thud!
Half of the money bags I had earned through hard work were loaded onto the wagon.
The hours I had struggled to earn them flashed through my mind, but what could I do? Rules were rules.
“Yore, don’t look so depressed! Once the Ether you donate to His Majesty passes a certain amount, your position within the Empire will rise greatly too! You could even become a noble!”
“I can become a noble too?”
“Of course. It is all thanks to His Majesty’s grace. If you trace the origins of the Empire’s nobles, they were all Blessed. Why can’t you become one too?”
Me, a noble!
My mood instantly improved.
The nobles I knew had tremendous power.
Enough that they could lock an innocent person in prison and beat them to death without a second thought.
Come to think of it, I could have died in prison like that.
And now I could earn Ether and become a noble?
“Long live His Majesty the Emperor.”
“You get it, kid! That previous thief bastard was no good, but I think you and I will get along!”
From now on, His Majesty and I were one and the same.
I had never even seen the Emperor’s face, but respect rose naturally within me.
The Emperor was second in my ranking of people I respected.
First was Ezakiel.
Second was His Majesty the Emperor.
Of course, that order could change depending on future patch notes.
“Now that you’ve made your donation, the remaining 90,000 Ether is entirely yours.”
“Ooh! Mine! So what can I do with Ether? Is paying taxes and buying blessings all there is?”
“Haha! If that were all, would we risk our lives entering the Land of Night to gather Ether?”
“There’s more!”
“Then let’s go! I’ll teach you how to use Ether! We also need to hold your transfer-in ceremony. You need to know who your comrades will be, right?”
Comrades? I had never teamed up with anyone before.
Hammer laughed cheerfully and patted my shoulder.
“By the way, don’t ask about the thief who came before you.”
“Why not?”
“We killed them. The number one cause of death for thieves in Blessed parties is execution by their comrades.”
...Ooh. Maybe I should not have asked.
A chill ran down my spine for no reason.
“Still, I hope you last a long time with us. Star Key is also a blessing I’ve never seen before! Don’t worry! Everyone is nice, so they’ll welcome you. Probably.”
Probably?
That ending felt ominous, but it was fine.
I had a trump card that let me get close to anyone in no time.
You could not even con someone who disliked you.
You could not start a conversation with them in the first place!
Author's Note
August 2...!!!
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