Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat - Chapter 5

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Haruto

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈

Chapter 5: Fuck Off!

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“Alright! We’ve got a new member, so it’s time for another welcome party!”

Hammer led me somewhere.

Whoosh.

It was a room with a massive bonfire blazing in the center.

The people who had arrived first stood around with their arms crossed, striking poses.

It looked like a character-selection screen.

First, there was a man with a longsword at his waist.

He looked about my age.

His long blond hair was slicked back with oil.

At a glance, he was clearly some rich young master.

Why?

In a world where even food was scarce, maintaining your hair was a wasteful luxury.

People with well-kept hair usually had deep pockets.

That was knowledge I’d picked up through several pickpocketing convictions.

‘It wouldn’t hurt to get on his good side.’

There was a reason rich people were rich.

Who knew when some crumbs might fall my way?

Hammer approached the young master and introduced me.

“Felix, this is Yore. Yore, this is Felix. You two will be sharing a room from now on, so make sure you get along.”

“I’m Felix.”

Felix held out his hand.

At first, I thought he was someone who had grown up without ever facing hardship, but the calluses on his palm were no joke.

Had he worked barehanded in a quarry or something?

“I’m Yore. I look forward to working with you. Hehehe.”

I deliberately smiled brightly.

They say you can’t spit on a smiling face.

Nothing built goodwill faster than a smile.

But Felix snorted and pulled his hand back.

Was he kind of prickly?

Fine. It wasn’t like I wanted to hold another man’s hand for long anyway.

My eyes turned to the woman in the pointed hat.

“You’re Hermit, right? Hammer told me to ask you if there’s anything I don’t know about Ether.”

It was my first time working with a woman, across both this life and my previous one.

I was nervous for no reason, but Hermit quietly took a step back.

“Don’t ask too much. There’s plenty I don’t know either. That’s why I’m here.”

Why was everyone so blunt?

Still, the slums where I used to operate were the kind of place where strangers casually traded insults like “bastard” and “asshole.”

By that standard, these people were remarkably cultured.

“I’m Hammer! I used to be in the Hammer Unit, so my nickname is Hammer too. In the party, I handle the front line and map reading. This profession is called a warrior.”

My role was thief, while Hammer’s was warrior.

It was just like the class list in the game Night Diver.

Going by that formula, Hermit had to be a mage.

With the staff and pointed hat, she looked exactly like one.

Then what was Felix?

He carried a long sword.

“Is Felix a warrior too?”

“No. That guy’s a knight. He really is from a family of knights.”

The word knight brought back an old memory.

Once, some pickpockets and back-alley thugs gathered to plan an attack on a carriage carrying a rich young lady.

It was a major operation with nearly ten people, including me.

But when we actually attacked the carriage, a man in armor like iron jumped out and cut down all my accomplices.

There had been nearly ten young, fierce thugs.

That man had been a knight.

Professional executioners trained from childhood to kill people.

That was why people like me had always feared knights.

Meeting one meant death.

Running was the only option.

“Felix, you’re really amazing!”

But?

Thinking that such a killing machine was on my side was incredibly reassuring.

“As the warrior, I draw their attention and keep the monsters occupied. Then Felix, the knight, finishes them off while Hermit supports us.”

Ooh.

Perhaps because Hammer had been a soldier, the explanation was concise and easy to follow.

I could picture how a three-person party hunted.

As I eagerly imagined myself joining them, Hermit gestured.

“Then come here and look closely at this bonfire. It’s a flame blessed by His Majesty the Emperor. We need this flame to use the power of Ether.”

His Majesty the Emperor’s name had come up again.

The Emperor could even bless fire. What an amazing person.

“Put your hand on the flame.”

I followed Hermit’s words and placed my hand on the huge bonfire.

Then words appeared before my eyes.

“Would you like to level up?”

“1 → 2”

“Ether required: 10,000”

“Oh! It says I can level up?”

“Using this bonfire, we can suffuse our bodies with the power of Ether. When you level up, you can use better tools. Your basic physical abilities also increase.”

Wow, that was amazing.

It was a little disappointing that leveling up consumed Ether, though.

This was a little different from the game Night Diver.

In that game, you killed monsters to gain experience and level up.

But?

Being able to raise my own level was exciting enough to fry my brain.

There was one more reason to desperately gather Ether.

“Would you like to level up?”

“1 → 2”

“Ether required: 10,000”

“Would you like to level up?”

“2 → 3”

“Ether required: 20,000”

“Would you like to level up?”

“3 → 4”

“Ether required: 40,000”

That was how I spent 70,000 Ether to reach Level 4.

My body felt a little lighter.

“That’s really amazing.”

Hammer placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t forget that this bonfire is also a grace bestowed by His Majesty the Emperor. Now then, newbie. What food do you like best? Put your hand into the bonfire and think about it.”

“My favorite food?”

The food in this world was mostly meant to fill your stomach rather than please your palate.

So I didn’t have a particular favorite.

There were few memories of eating anything until I was stuffed.

“My favorite food...”

It had to be cola.

Every humid summer, I had wished I could drink a cold bottle of cola.

“Would you like to consume 1,500 Ether?”

Words appeared before my eyes.

What would happen if I spent Ether?

After leveling up, I had realized that spending Ether was pretty thrilling.

They say a late-blooming passion is the scariest.

Once I got a taste for it, I couldn’t hold back.

“Consume it.”

Whoosh.

Soon, something appeared in the palm I had put into the flames.

It was a cylindrical can.

That hard, cold, smooth sensation brought back memories I had long forgotten.

“What’s that? It’s a strange thing. Is it from the Land of Night?”

Hammer tilted their head.

Apparently, they didn’t know what cola was.

Of course they didn’t.

It was something that could never be found in this world!

Rather than explain it, I opened the can and gulped down its contents.

The refreshing sensation running down my throat was so intense it felt like my brain would fry.

“Ah! This is it!”

The carbonation and sweetness raced through my head, setting even my thoughts spinning.

Ether could let me drink cola even in this barren world.

It was too amazing for words.

One can of Zero Cola for 1,500 Ether?

I could drink cola by killing just thirty Nightrings?

This was a real bargain.

On the off chance, I put my hand on the bonfire again.

Could I get Bburinkle chicken too?

Chicken was what I had wanted most after cola.

“Would you like to consume 21,000 Ether?”

Words appeared before my eyes.

At that moment, I knew.

This would work.

And what was even more astonishing was this.

A can of cola that cost around 1,500 won was 1,500 Ether.

A chicken that cost 21,000 won was 21,000 Ether.

Fuck, weren’t Ether prices one-to-one with Korean won?

What an incredible coincidence!

Of course, I would need to test more things to know for sure, but even that possibility was enough to make me excited.

I had thought this life was ruined too.

I had even had a hangman’s noose around my neck, and now I had this opportunity?

It was all thanks to Ms. Ezakiel.

And thanks to His Majesty the Emperor’s grace!

More importantly, couldn’t I have just one more can of cola?

As I thought that, the bonfire weakened.

“Newbie, it looks like the thing you wanted used quite a bit of the blessing’s power. The flames have weakened, so we can’t use the bonfire anymore today.”

Hermit told me something surprising.

It seemed I couldn’t use that flame carelessly whenever I wanted.

Perhaps seeing my disappointment, Hammer patted my back.

“Normally, we need a shaman to manage the flames steadily. Unfortunately, our unit’s shaman is away because of an incident.”

“...”

At Hammer’s words, Hermit and Felix exchanged glances.

I didn’t know what had happened, but I could tell it was nothing good.

# # #

I licked up every last drop of cola.

I could kill monsters, earn Ether, and buy cola and chicken?

This was life.

Spring had finally come to my life.

“This is your room.”

Felix, who had been walking ahead, stopped in front of a room.

The inside looked like a prison.

There were no windows, and only two beds sat inside.

“Ooh, nice!”

Still, after recently living in a real prison crawling with bugs, it looked like a luxury hotel to me.

More than anything, I liked that the blankets were fluffy, as if they had been freshly washed.

So just as I was about to go in and plop myself down, a problem arose.

Felix stepped in front of me.

“You should quietly leave the party. We’ll tell the others you ran away.”

Clink.

Then he tossed a gold coin to me.

It was something I had never touched in my life.

“With this, you’ll be able to hide out for a few months. You were a death-row convict anyway, weren’t you? If you’re lucky enough to escape, shouldn’t you be grateful for that alone?”

Aha.

I didn’t know why, but it seemed our young master Felix didn’t want me here.

I had known it from the way he acted prickly toward me earlier.

“Because I’m a criminal?”

“Yeah. Do you know why our party doesn’t have a shaman?”

“How would I know?”

“A thieving bastard like you got greedy, went too far, and stabbed her. She’s being treated right now. Hermit was badly hurt too. It’s like that in most parties. Thieving bastards are always the problem.”

“Aha, so you think I’ll cause trouble too?”

“Take that gold coin and run now, or die by my hand someday. Even with the brain you grew in filthy back alleys, you should know which is better.”

Hammer had mentioned something about a predecessor.

That they had been executed by the party members.

It looked like young master Felix had killed the guy.

The gold coin rolled across the floor.

Just as I thought, getting close to rich people meant scraps would fall your way.

This Felix guy was such a merciful person.

He could have simply beaten me senseless and thrown me out.

I bent down to pick up the gold coin from the floor.

Felix snorted.

“Good choice. Leave this barrier and live quietly, crawling on the ground like that.”