WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 49: Dog and Raccoon # 1
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Black Rock Mine.
True to its name, the rocks and tunnels were as black as ink.
Apparently, these black stones had once been popular enough to be widely used in construction.
But demand gradually fell, and the mine was eventually abandoned.
An abandoned mine.
Of course Thieves would settle in a place like this.
‘As a Thief gang hideout, I’d give it seven out of ten.’
Just having a roof to keep out the rain and wind made it appealing.
It felt cozy.
「!Shaft Closed!」
「!No Entry!」
The fact that it was suitably dark and had plenty of places to hide earned it extra points too.
A Thief gang hideout was a place that might be raided by the authorities at any moment.
It was better to have plenty of places to hide from clubs or escape through secret exits.
‘There must be several secret tunnels for escape here too, right?’
Those were points earned from experience.
“Bring the booze!”
“Rum! Vodka! Tequila! Bourbon!”
“You bastards, how much water did you mix into this liquor?”
“I’m selling a ring of keys!”
“Don’t you have a screwdriver?”
I looked toward the noise and saw a tavern packed with wooden barrels.
Beside it was a merchant selling Thief gear.
It was like a small society.
This really was a Thieves’ Guild.
“This guild’s got some real style, huh?”
I asked the men walking ahead of us.
As if they had been waiting for it, they puffed out their chests.
“Of course! We have the Emperor of the Abyss backing us!”
“The Emperor of Thieves was the one who arranged this place for us too!”
Baine, the Emperor of Thieves.
I hadn’t expected that name to come up.
“The Emperor of the Abyss supported this mine?”
“That’s what I said!”
“This is the real Thieves’ Guild now!”
This was more complicated than I thought.
I had assumed Debora had simply stabbed people in the back and poached them.
But if the Emperor of the Abyss was involved, this was a completely different situation.
These Blessed Thieves saw the Emperor of the Abyss as a real emperor, or some kind of charismatic evil.
‘Maybe this place is the more legitimate one.’
“Sit here and wait!”
“And don’t get any stupid ideas!”
The Thieves sat us on old crates and went somewhere.
“Ugh, there are Thieves everywhere...”
Hermit shivered.
She really was an odd one.
“Hermit, why did you follow me here?”
“I didn’t want to come either.”
“Then why?”
“It was Mr. Hammer’s idea.”
Mr. Hammer’s idea?
Did Mr. Hammer tell Hermit to follow me?
“Mr. Hammer told me to help you.”
I didn’t think I needed help.
It only made things more awkward.
But Mr. Hammer was a leader who liked making thorough plans.
There must have been a reason.
“Still, Hermit. You and Debora know each other by sight, right?”
“So what?”
“What do you mean, so what? We don’t know what’ll happen if you’re recognized, so pretend to be someone else as much as possible.”
I carefully put Hermit’s pointed hat into the Black Bundle.
Then I took out a dirty cloth and wrapped it around her head.
“Good. Now you look more like a Thief.”
“I’m a Thief?”
“You’re going to be a Thief who used to be a mage. Your name is... What should it be?”
Hermit’s eyes shifted uneasily beneath her mask and hood.
She probably didn’t like pretending to be a Thief.
Honestly, neither did I.
Could she pull this off?
# # #
“You two? The newcomers who want to join?”
After we waited on the wooden crates for a while, someone approached us.
He was a white-haired man with narrow eyes.
Maybe he was in his early thirties?
His clean-shaven chin was smooth.
‘A Thief who takes care of his appearance in a place like this.’
‘He must be difficult.’
He wore stiff clothes and looked like a white weasel.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Dambi, the deputy guild leader.”
Dambi, marten, weasel, Mouse...
People in this world really liked using animal names as nicknames.
I should think of one for myself someday.
“You want to join our Night Guild?”
Dambi asked.
His eyes quickly scanned Hermit and me.
I looked him over too.
‘Level 13? Maybe 14?’
‘Going by the hook and knives at his waist, he’s in the Desperado line?’
‘Let’s avoid fighting him head-on.’
Dambi asked again.
“What are your names?”
I decided to answer honestly.
“I’m Yore.”
“Are you the one who took out One-Eye?”
One-Eye’s name came up again.
Every time I gave my name, people asked about One-Eye.
Was he really that impressive?
“Yes! I’m Yore, the one who took out One-Eye.”
“Hoh. As far as I know, you’re that vixen Jermain’s disciple.”
A man I had never met was rattling off information about me.
Was I somewhat famous among the Thieves around here?
“Jermain’s disciple?”
Hermit muttered quietly beside me.
This was going to make explaining things difficult.
But that wasn’t important right now.
I could feel suspicion and distrust in Dambi’s eyes as he looked at me.
“Why is Jermain’s disciple here?”
“Jermain only used me however she pleased. Even after I did the work, changing the payment she promised was normal for her.”
I wasn’t making it up.
Since it wasn’t a lie, I could say it with some confidence.
Dambi reacted in disbelief at my attitude.
“Ha! That girl would do that! A Thief who joins hands with the military, of all things.”
Jermain had ties to the military?
That was something I hadn’t known.
Anyway, his suspicion of me seemed to have eased a little.
“But I still don’t need you.”
“Huh?”
“There are plenty of Thieves already. And you’re suspicious.”
That bastard Dambi.
He wasn’t deputy guild leader just for show.
“But I like this girl. You’re holding a staff, so you’re a mage, right?”
“...”
“We needed a mage anyway.”
No way!
A valuable talent like me was rejected, while Hermit was accepted?
It was confusing in many ways.
But I thought I could use this situation.
“She won’t work with you people without me. She’s completely crazy.”
“Crazy?”
Dambi frowned.
Hermit looked at me too.
At this point, I had nothing to lose.
“Yes, she ate something wrong and went crazy. Some kind of mushroom, I think?”
Press.
I firmly stepped on Hermit’s foot.
Then Hermit jumped up and began barking in every direction.
“Grrr! Grrr!”
She even hopped around on all fours.
“Woof! Woof!”
‘Fuck!’
‘What is that!?’
Was she pretending to be crazy?
A crazy dog? A crazy raccoon?
I hadn’t told her to act that insane!
I was screwed!
As I broke into a cold sweat, Dambi seemed flustered too.
“Fuck, isn’t that mana rabies?”
“Uh?”
“I heard it happens to mages sometimes! They go mad like they were bitten by a rabid dog!”
“That’s right! Mana rabies! I’m the only one who can control her. Sit. Sit! Tsk!”
I grabbed Hermit and made her sit.
She was genuinely hard to control, as though she had gone mad.
‘Mana rabies, huh?’
‘She has better instincts than I thought!’
‘I thought she was just book-smart and clueless.’
My opinion of Hermit rose a little.
‘Without Hermit, I would’ve failed the interview right away.’
‘I’m glad she’s here.’
But I didn’t know how long the goddess of luck would keep smiling on me.
So I had to seize this chance.
“Please take us to the guild leader. We’ll prove we’re useful! It’d be even better if we could make our names known to the Emperor of the Abyss!”
“Aha! You want to raise your name before the Emperor of the Abyss and become an executive. So that’s your goal? What ambitious brats.”
Dambi soon chuckled.
“Good. You can trust someone who’s honest about their greed!”
“Oh!”
“I’ll show you to your room first.”
It worked!
It worked!
Hermit and I followed behind Dambi.
“What should we call you two from now on?”
Dambi asked.
This was a good chance to make myself a cool nickname.
Yore of the Golden Flash.
As I was thinking that, Hermit quickly answered.
“Dog and Raccoon!”
“Pfft, hahahaha! Those are cute names!”
Fuck.
Was I the dog?
“Aah!”
Just then, someone screamed.
I turned my head and saw a woman surrounded by a pack of grimy men.
“P-Please give my daughter back! Please!”
“Kehhehe, madam, is this really the time to worry about your daughter?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll make you bear plenty more daughters!”
“Who would’ve thought I’d live to strip a noble lady naked!”
“...Th-that...!?”
Hermit was startled.
I could feel the hand holding her staff tighten.
The sudden sight must have shocked her.
‘Kidnapping and human trafficking.’
‘It wasn’t something a girl like Hermit should have to see.’
I put a hand on Hermit’s shoulder to hold her back and asked Dambi.
“You’re pretty capable, kidnapping nobles.”
“It’s not hard when Blessed people like us work together. The power of the Blessed proves far more useful inside the Empire than beyond the Wall.”
“But there’ll be trouble if you mess with nobles.”
“Kid, if you were scared of that, would you make a living as a robber?”
Dambi suddenly stopped walking.
“No rules. That’s the Emperor of the Abyss’s only rule. We’ll make this mine a lawless paradise like the Emperor of the Abyss’s Kerning Town.”
Clank.
We were led into a room in a tunnel with an iron door.
“Stay here for a while.”
It looked like a prison.
Maybe it really was one.
“...This place is horrible!”
Once there was no longer any sign of people nearby, Hermit shouted.
She struck the floor with her staff as though she could not tolerate it.
“You human trash! I’ll kill every last one of you!”
I never thought Hermit could say something Felix would say.
She had been like this ever since she saw that noblewoman.
‘Could there be some reason?’
I calmed Hermit down.
“Hermit, if you go wild now, we’ll die too.”
“...Then you’re saying we should just pretend we didn’t see it? I think I’d feel sick about it forever.”
“We’re weak. They’re a group. What can weak people like us do?”
What could we do?
There were real Thieves everywhere.
At my words, Hermit only stuck out her lips.
She must have calmed down.
“Hermit, let’s first find out where Debora is. After that...”
I took a Black Bundle out of the Black Bundle.
“...Even if we can’t do anything, this one can!”
“Ooooooh!”
Hermit’s expression brightened at once.
Then she clenched her fists, trembled, and ran around the room.
That made me suddenly suspicious.
‘...Mana rabies isn’t actually real, right?’
Footnotes:
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