Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat - Chapter 54

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Haruto

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈

Chapter 54: Everyone Has Their Faults # 3

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The lord who had been bedridden like a vegetable suddenly sprang to his feet.

What kind of ridiculous situation was this!?

“My lord! You’re cured?”

“I’ve been able to move around more or less for about a month now.”

So the noble lord had been hiding his condition.

He had lied to everyone.

Grip.

The lord grabbed my wrist and asked.

“Is it true that Windia and Enut poisoned me?”

“Yes! I heard it clearly!”

Would the lord really believe me?

I was a Thief who got suspected everywhere I went, like the boy who cried wolf!

But the lord was open-minded.

“I knew someone had poisoned me. But I thought it was my first wife.”

“Lady Cheperi?”

“She was always unhappy that I took Windia as my second wife.”

What a complete mess of a family.

Anyway, this was the important part.

“My lord, at this rate, they’ll kill Lady Cheperi and frame me for it. Is there anything we can do?”

“What were you planning to do if I hadn’t woken up?”

“Pardon?”

“You came to me and told me the truth. Why tell someone who couldn’t even move?”

That was true.

I hadn’t known the noble lord could move.

But why had I come all this way to tell him about the betrayal within his household?

“Hehehe, to protect myself from responsibility for what was about to happen. I had to report it, didn’t I?”

“Then do what you originally intended.”

“Sir?”

“Thunder is always raging around Stormhill Mansion. It’ll be hard to hear a few people screaming.”

Flash.

Lightning struck outside the window.

A heavy resolve settled over the lord’s gaunt face in the flash of light.

“However.”

“However?”

“Spare Windia, at least.”

“Hehe, I can do that. But when I think about it, it feels like you’re the one blowing your nose, and I’m the one doing all the work.”

It would be nice if I got a little something out of this too.

Lord Cheperi chuckled.

“I’ll overlook the collapse of my mine.”

Oooooh!

Honestly, I’d been seriously worried about wrecking that mine. To think I’d get a chance to make up for it!

“And it won’t hurt for an explorer like you to have a noble in your debt.”

This noble lord was truly generous!

I immediately went to Hermit’s room and shook her awake.

“Hermit, this isn’t the time to sleep!”

“What? What is it? Why are you in my room!?”

“We’re fucking screwed right now!”

I explained everything to her.

After my explanation, complete with hand gestures and kicking motions, Hermit reached a simple conclusion.

“What? So it’s an internal struggle over an affair and the line of succession.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means the Cheperi family is just like any other noble family!”

Was that so?

It seemed this sort of thing was common among nobles.

Anyway, Sir Enut was a knight of the Cheperi family.

He was Blessed, and he looked to be around Level 14.

‘Still, with Hermit here, this should be an easy win.’

# # #

The grand mansion was battered by wind and rain.

Hermit and I slowly walked down the corridor.

We headed straight for the room where Sir Enut was staying!

“Lord Gale said this is that man’s room.”

A first-floor room near the entrance.

Apparently, it had been prepared so he, the mansion’s guardian, could rush out whenever something happened.

What a joke.

The mansion’s guardian had poisoned its master and slept with his second wife.

“Just as I thought, knights can’t be trusted.”

My personal creed grew even firmer.

Hermit smacked my back with her palm.

“Hurry up and pick the lock.”

“Fine.”

Click.

I carefully pulled open the door.

Shing.

A knight holding a sword shouted from beyond the open door.

“You little Thief. I knew you came to rob me.”

It was Sir Enut, the knight with military-short hair.

He was fully armed at this hour of the night.

“Hey, isn’t it uncomfortable sleeping dressed like that?”

“Did you think I’d sleep comfortably after letting Thieves into this mansion!?”

Sir Enut’s blue eyes were filled with contempt and disgust as he looked at me.

I looked back at him with equal disgust.

“You filthy knight bastards. You betray people whenever you get the chance.”

“Hah? What the hell is a Thief bastard suddenly talking about?”

“What am I talking about? Nonsense to buy time!”

“《Human Binding》!”

Hermit, standing behind me, pointed her staff.

A square magic circle swirled around Enut’s feet.

“Fuck, I fell for it!”

“Hehe! This is magic!”

“You thought I’d say that?”

Whoosh!

Enut thrust his sword.

If I hadn’t pulled my head aside, my neck would have been skewered.

“Hey! Hermit! You said he wouldn’t be able to move for half a day if you bound him! What happened!?”

“I don’t know either!”

Hermit panicked.

Enut grinned as though victory was his.

“The idol I made a deal with is Ante-Magica, the Magic Eater. Little tricks from mages are useless before me!”

So he had resistance or immunity to magic.

What a cowardly bastard!

“You dare attack a knight in a noble’s mansion? Don’t expect to die peacefully!”

Enut shouted loudly.

Hermit shouted back at him.

“You sold Lady Cheperi to Thieves and tried to poison her too!”

“What? How did you...?”

Enut’s face instantly turned pale.

Only for a moment.

Crash!

Enut smashed through the window and ran outside the mansion.

My hair stood on end.

“If that bastard gets away, this will become a pain!”

I followed after Enut.

“Stop right there, you bastard!”

Enut was running toward the mansion’s stable.

He was definitely after my horse, Moltma!

“Thunderbolt Shuriken!”

Crack!

I wrapped lightning around my shuriken and threw it at him.

The shuriken flew quickly and lodged in the armor on his back.

“Aaagh!”

Crackle!

It hadn’t pierced his thick plate armor, but he was still in terrible pain.

‘Right! Lightning! Electricity travels well through water!’

My shuriken carried the power of lightning.

And this mansion was soaked from the raging wind and rain.

Enut was drenched to the bone.

‘This is a battlefield made for me!’

Crackle.

Enut was eventually engulfed by the current and collapsed to the ground.

“Give up. Lord Gale knows that you and Lady Windia are having an affair.”

“What?”

The blood drained from Enut’s face as he lay bleeding on the ground.

“Lord Gale knows?”

“That’s right!”

Why was this so thrilling?

I pressed the advantage and shouted.

“Justice is on our side!”

“...Fuck, then we have no choice but to kill them all. What are you doing? Stop staring and do your work!”

What?

Who was he shouting at?

Stab.

Something sharp pierced my thigh.

“Aaagh!”

It hurt so much that tears welled up in my eyes.

Then a pale man slowly revealed himself from thin air.

That smooth chin looked familiar.

“You, fuck, what was it, a badger?”

“You stupid bastard. I’m Dambi.”

Right, Dambi!

The man who had been Debora’s deputy guild leader.

His sudden appearance confused me in many ways.

“Didn’t you get buried alive in that abandoned mine?”

“I almost did. But even if you’re a rookie, you’re the guy who took down One-Eye.”

“So what!”

“I hid and watched just in case, but I never expected you to take down even Debora.”

It seemed Dambi had hidden with that strange “invisibility” skill and followed me out when I escaped the abandoned mine.

“Dambi, you cowardly bastard!”

“You’re one to talk after kidnapping Debora.”

Dambi looked at the Black Bundle at my side.

Was he after Debora’s Liberation?

Just as I thought this was becoming troublesome, Dambi chuckled.

“How about we go our separate ways? I only want Lady Cheperi.”

“The lady?”

“Lady Cheperi was my goal from the beginning. If I take such an elegant woman as my wife, won’t I feel like an impressive noble too?”

“《Light-ning》!”

That was when it happened.

Hermit climbed through the window while chanting her spell.

Crack!

The sky flashed, and lightning struck before me.

Rumble!

Crackle!

“Gaaah!”

“You crazy bitch!”

Dambi screamed as he collapsed.

The traitorous knight Enut shouted in anger.

“What if that wide-area spell caught your ally too!?”

“The odds were fifty-fifty, but our rookie is lucky, so I knew he wouldn’t get hit!”

Looking at the result, that was true.

Anyway, Dambi had fallen to Hermit’s powerful magic.

Now only Enut remained.

“Hehehe, I’ll carve up that handsome face!”

“Fuuuck!”

“Don’t!”

Someone jumped between Enut and me.

It was Windia, the woman sleeping with the knight.

“Don’t lay a hand on Sir Enut!”

She had run out barefoot in a white nightgown and stood with her arms spread wide.

‘This is troublesome.’

Windia was a noble.

I couldn’t lay a hand on her carelessly.

Lord Gale had also told me to spare Windia, his second wife.

Did she know she had the advantage?

Lady Windia twisted up the corner of her mouth.

“You lowborn Thief, go ahead and try to touch me! Don’t forget that I carry the lord’s child in my womb!”

If things went wrong here, this would become a real headache.

Just as I was troubled, the mansion door creaked open.

Lord Gale, the master of Stormhill Mansion, appeared leaning on a cane.

“Windia, that child is not mine.”

“...Darling! How are you here...!?”

Shock filled Lady Windia’s once-triumphant face.

That was incredibly satisfying!

“M-More importantly, what do you mean the child isn’t yours!?”

“I took you as my second wife using my first wife’s infertility as an excuse, but in truth, I was the cause of the infertility.”

“...What?”

Rumble.

Thunder roared.

“...Windia, my body cannot produce seed.”

What was that supposed to mean?

Everyone looked shocked.

Only the sounds of breathing and rain filled the air.

Lord Gale spoke calmly.

“Windia, you are also my relative, and Cheperi blood flows through you. So that child is certainly a noble’s child. I am willing to become the child’s father.”

When Lord Gale raised his fist, soldiers rushed in.

Thud, thud, thud.

“But a child does not need two fathers.”

The soldiers pointed their swords at the fallen Enut.

Enut panicked.

“Wait! I might not be the father of that child! That bitch, besides me... Guh!”

# # #

Morning.

The weather had cleared as though last night’s storm had been a lie.

It was a hot summer day, almost too warm.

Lord Gale sat on the outdoor balcony, cutting meat and laughing.

“Yore, you truly are lucky.”

“Why?”

“Look at that rainbow. At this mansion, where it always rains, you might see one only once in a hundred years.”

The rainbow stretching between the garden and the mansion was truly beautiful.

It made me want to put it in my pocket and take it with me.

Clink.

Lord Gale placed a heavy pouch on the table.

“This is compensation for the unpleasant incident last night.”

“How much is it?”

“Fifty gold coins. It is worth ten million Ether.”

“...Gasp!”

That much money!

The lord soon held out another pouch.

“This is yours as well.”

“What is this?”

“It came from Dambi’s corpse. Since he hid it so carefully in his clothes, it must be valuable.”

Was that so?

I took one thing out.

「Elastic Scale: A scale shed by a large snake. The outside is hard, while the inside is soft and flexible. It seems it could be processed into an excellent tool.」

Could this be a scale from that “shed skin”?

Dambi must have taken it from the corpse!

“That scale was harder than steel, so it could make good armor.”

“Ooh!”

“But not just anyone can work with material like that.”

“Then what should I do?”

“As I recall, there was a blacksmith who could work any material. But Thieves kidnapped the blacksmith and took them to a city beyond the Wall.”

“...Kerning Town!”

“If you plan to go there and seek out the blacksmith, find my daughter Ellie as well.”

Aha, this scale was like an advance payment for the request to find his daughter.

Lord Gale was truly skilled with words.

‘Kerning Town, the city of Thieves. I should visit it soon.’