WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 8: The Mole on the Shoulder # 3
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“Hendrix, what brings you guys all the way to Michanic University?”
Creak. Grind.
Hammer clenched the gauntleted hand holding the hammer hard enough to make it groan.
“Didn’t you decide not to even look this way after getting your asses kicked here last time?”
The huge man from the party that had gotten to the treasure room first dropped an axe as large as a human body onto the floor with a thud.
“Fuck, this is the only place in the Land of Night where the forecast says the sun will rise today! What are we supposed to do? It’s almost the end of the month. We have to meet our quota!”
The two huge men shouted at each other, their voices echoing through the hallway.
Taking advantage of the commotion, Felix lightly poked my side.
“Rookie, stay alert. In the Land of Night, more people die to other Blessed than to monsters.”
“Hammer, we got here first. Leave while I’m asking nicely.”
Hendrix, the huge man with the enormous axe, warned us.
The man beside him, holding two drawn swords, added his own threat.
“If you want to die at the hands of bounty hunter Double Sword, come at us.”
Bounty hunter Double Sword?
Cool name. Cool nickname!
The smoke bombs, shuriken, nets, and other things hanging from his belt made him look like a veteran through and through.
“You in the pointy hat, are you some brat from the Mage Tower?”
The old man holding a staff chuckled leisurely.
He was obviously a mage.
“This old man ought to teach you a lesson as your senior.”
The swordsman and mage both looked far more seasoned than our party.
But Hammer was not intimidated by them.
“We don’t know how many hours it’ll take to reach the next room with a treasure chest. We might even run into those lunatics from the Church and die on the way. We can’t just leave.”
The tension steadily heated up.
It looked like a fight could break out at any moment.
Then a one-eyed man from the other unit held two fingers in a V shape over his eye and shouted.
“「Observing Eye」!”
What was that?
Soon, he called out.
“Hammer, Level 13. Blessing possessed: 「Bird’s-Eye Map」!”
“Hermit, Level 11. Blessing possessed: 「Magic Inscription」!”
“Yore, Level 4...? Blessing possessed...”
“Pfft, Level 4? You’ve barely learned how to walk!”
The huge man with the enormous axe widened his eyes.
Then he burst out laughing. His laughter sounded like thunder.
“Hammer, I heard your party had some trouble recently. Looks like you recruited a new rookie? Do you really think you can fight us while dragging along such a greenhorn?”
I felt everyone’s eyes turn toward me.
Getting attention was more embarrassing than I expected.
“Yes, sir. I’m the rookie Yore.”
“Hey, you don’t need to introduce yourself to people like them! Get over here.”
Hermit pulled me behind her.
Hammer also spoke very quietly.
“Felix, if a fight breaks out, protect Yore first. They’ll target him. He’s the lowest level, and Yore is the only Thief who can open treasure chests.”
In other words, if I disappeared, our party would have no choice but to give up on the treasure room.
Which meant they would target me first.
“Hendrix and I are about evenly matched. Even if Hermit takes their mage, Felix, are you confident you can handle both that dual-sword guy and the Thief?”
“I am.”
“Are you really okay? Your walk has looked strange today.”
“An Egg Bug bit me.”
“An Egg Bug? What’s that?”
Because I was low level, Felix had to take on two people at once.
But it seemed the groin injury I had given him yesterday had left him less than perfect.
....
..
Everyone fell silent.
The mood was so grim, it would not have been strange if someone died.
Even getting hurt would be a problem.
She said just seeing a priest for treatment cost ten thousand Ether.
What should I do?
My mind raced.
Hermit and Felix both looked dead serious.
Hammer was probably wearing the same serious expression beneath the armor.
That was the kind of people they were.
Felix trained his muscles in strange circus-like poses, while Hermit stayed up all night reading stacks of boring books.
Hammer got up at four in the morning to run around the training ground.
They were people who took their work seriously.
They were also the kind of people I had never met in my life.
The warrior, mage, and dual-sword fighter in that party were probably the same.
But the one-eyed Thief from their party was different.
He was probably the kind of person who wanted easy gains without effort.
For people like that, their own safety mattered most, no matter what happened to everyone else.
“Hey, you! The most handsome guy here!”
“Me?”
The one-eyed guy with the wrecked face responded immediately.
What a shameless bastard!
“Yeah, you! If a fight breaks out, you won’t get away unharmed either. Our Felix eats Thieves for breakfast. If we fight, you’ll be the first one he kills.”
“Yore, what are you doing?”
Hammer asked quietly.
But I kept talking.
“Why don’t we make a deal between ourselves? Whatever is in the chest, we split it.”
“Why the fuck should we split our stuff with you?”
“Get it right. From the looks of it, you haven’t opened the chest yet. In the Land of Night, whoever gets their hands on a locked thing first owns it.”
That was what Asibarr had told me when I bought 「Star Key」.
The one-eyed Thief’s only eye darted back and forth.
I shouted loudly enough for everyone to hear.
“Felix, if the fight starts, target that bastard first.”
“Of course. I can cut off his hands or take his remaining eye. Even if he sees a priest for treatment, it’ll cost him plenty of Ether.”
Well, I thought I had said enough.
The one-eyed man looked at Felix’s murderous blade and spat on the floor.
Then he looked over his companions, probably calculating and weighing his options.
“What split?”
“The side that opens the chest gets nine. The other side gets one. We each get ten minutes to try picking the lock. What do you say?”
“Nine to one? What kind of split is that? We got here first. This is our spot!”
“Is this your land? What spot? Besides, if it’s a chest you can’t open anyway, you’re better off finding another route than sitting here wasting time.”
Hammer seemed to realize my plan then.
Pointing the hammer at them, Hammer roared like a wild bull.
“That’s right! If we make a scene here, the Star Church will find us and we’ll all die anyway! Instead of struggling in front of a chest you can’t open, you’d be better off going somewhere else!”
“Fine! We’ll negotiate!”
The one-eyed man raised his hand.
The other unit members glared at him in displeasure.
But he only raised his voice.
“It would be different if you could definitely crush those guys! That Felix is Level 15. Our swordsman might not be able to stop him! Who’s taking responsibility if I get hurt?”
“He’s got a point.”
Nod, nod.
I agreed with him too.
Now that was a thief’s sensibility!
# # #
That was how the lockpicking contest began.
“I’ll go first.”
The one-eyed man shoved an awl into the keyhole.
Rattle. Click.
“Hasn’t it been ten minutes?”
“Fuck!”
Apparently angry, he kicked the chest with a bang.
“Judging by the fact that even I couldn’t open it easily, this is at least a 「Silver-rank」 chest. You’ve barely learned to walk. Do you think you can open it? It looks like you have some kind of blessing for picking locks, but that won’t be enough.”
“Not enough?”
“Yeah. Blessings aren’t all-powerful. If it’s a 「Silver-rank」 chest, even with a blessing, your chance of unlocking it will be less than one percent! You need basic skill to back it up!”
What? Was my 「Star Key」 less useful than I thought?
Either way, I decided to give it a try. I picked up the lockpick and shoved it into the keyhole.
「Would you like to unlock it?」
「Cost: 1,000 Ether」
「Success Rate: Less than 1%」
What the fuck?
It cost Ether?
That bastard Asibarr!
Soon, the back of my left hand gave off heat as though someone had pressed a hand warmer against it.
Click.
A strange sound rang out.
I opened the lid just in case, and it came up easily.
“What? The lock opened?”
Hammer rejoiced.
At that moment, Hendrix shouted at the one-eyed man.
“What the hell? The lock opened easily! Then why did we sit here for two hours?”
“I, I almost had it open! That rookie just took credit for what I did! Yeah! We did most of the work, so we split it fifty-fifty!”
Shing.
The one-eyed man drew a dagger from his belt.
Its point was aimed at me.
Just as I thought he might stab me, Felix’s fist slammed into his jaw.
Crack.
“Guaaagh!”
From the sound of it, his jaw was probably broken.
Of course it was. He had been hit by a killing machine.
Hammer spoke to the huge man who seemed to be their leader.
“Your side drew a weapon first, so the agreement to split it is off. Want to keep going? Or would you rather leave quietly now and save on treatment costs?”
The one-eyed man had fainted, leaving their side one person short.
Now we had the numbers advantage.
Hendrix ground his teeth.
“Fuck, this was our spot. We got taken in by that brat’s nonstop chatter. What did you say your name was?”
“Yore.”
“Are you the swindler who caused trouble at a Dantes establishment and got sentenced to death?”
Hendrix slammed the huge axe onto the floor.
Had rumors about me already spread this far?
“There were some seriously unfair circumstances behind that.”
“Hah! You’re gutsier than you look, kid. Fine. I never liked Dantes either. I’ll let this slide because you made those bastards eat dirt.”
Hendrix and his party carried away the unconscious one-eyed man and left.
The members of the other unit passed by me.
“Oh, if only you were in our unit!”
The old mage even grabbed my arm, regret written all over his face.
Only after they disappeared around the corner did Hermit, who had frozen like a mouse in front of a cat, let out a breath.
“...We lived. It’s best not to cause trouble in Michanic University if possible. That combat mage was wearing a Martial Merit Medal. If we had fought... even I wouldn’t have had an easy time.”
Honestly, my legs were shaking too.
...I really thought I was going to die.
With this much work, I had surely earned the cost of today’s breakfast and tomorrow’s too, right?
“Ha! Yore, you did an incredible job! You drove out the people who claimed the chest first without shedding a single drop of blood!”
Pat, pat.
Hammer hit my back.
“So what’s inside the chest? Huh? We went through all that just to get it. If it’s nothing special, I’ll be seriously disappointed. Please let it be something good.”
Creeeak.
I opened the rather heavy chest lid.
Inside was something like white cloth.
When I lifted it, a bright red book appeared.
“It’s a skillbook!”
Hermit the witch reacted first.
She picked up the book, looking thrilled.
“It even has a red cover! That’s the highest rank among skillbooks! If we’re lucky, this alone might fill this month’s quota!”
“What skill is it? Since this is Michanic, it must be a mage-type skill. Hermit, if it’s a book for the mage class, you decide whether to use it or sell it!”
Hammer snorted behind the helmet.
I did not know what it was, but it seemed incredibly expensive. The part about deciding whether to use or sell it stuck in my mind.
“Can we use skillbooks ourselves instead of selling them for Ether?”
“Huh? It depends on the party, but our party agreed that if a skillbook suited someone’s aptitude, the person in that class gets to decide!”
Then Hermit, who had been tracing the difficult, crooked letters with her finger, suddenly flinched.
“Huh? This is strange. It looks like a Thief-type skillbook. Why would a magic university have a Thief skillbook...?”
Footnotes:
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