WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

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◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈

Chapter 30: Happy Pass

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Lee Jin-su's head looked like someone had scooped out a slice of an ultra-realistic Lee Jin-su cake and left the rest behind.

Scalp, skull, brain......

The cross-section was layered like cream and sponge and mousse, and not a single drop of blood ran from it.

【Happyland's adorable little sweetheart! Are you ready to be happy with Pipi?】

No. I wasn't.

【Just to be safe, let's check the most important thing!】

【Do you remember your name?】

【▶ I remember】

【▶ I forgot】

Ah.

So this was the name prompt that pops up mid-game. Lee Jin-su had mentioned it.

【I remember!】

I had entered "Seon Yu-han."

【What is your name?】

【▶ Seon Yu-han】

【▶ Hwang】

【▶ binary】

【▶ Hyun-jae】

【▶ I forgot】

So that's how it works.

I probably didn't need to use my real name after all.

【Seon Yu-han!】

And what's this "I forgot" option. Ominous.

【Correct. You are Seon Yu-han.】

【Now, enjoy the Land of Happiness, Happyland, brimming with freedom and liberation and joy, to your heart's content!】

【A dazzling light rises above the horizon, softly wrapping Happyland in its glow. Just looking at it makes you happy. You will have a wonderfully happy time today. Together with Pipi. Until the very end.】

While the script printed out, chaos broke out beside me.

"Ugh, ngh......"

Chae Jae-ha had accidentally opened the break room door, found the body of Lee Jin-su's coworker, and was doubled over stifling screams and heaving his guts up.

"Ngh, urk......"

Jeong Ji-ho, confronted with a sight that would've been hard even for a grown adult to stomach, was choking down his own sobs and doing the same.

"Drink some of this. Ji-ho-gun too, slowly."

Yu Hyun-jae had gone to the break room refrigerator and come back with bottled water and snacks.

"I'd rather not have to use these, but......"

Hwang Ju-yeon had gone through every drawer in Neosoft and stripped the place of every first-aid kit and medicine she could find.

"Don't go back in there."

I pulled Lee Jin-su's body upright from where it was slumped over the dark monitor, chair and all, and wheeled it into the break room.

Then I came back, sat down, and took out a diary and a pen.

"Ah, you're keeping notes?"

"Yes. I need to write down what Lee Jin-su told us earlier, and jotting down the choices and their outcomes as we go might help."

I'd probably memorize most of it anyway.

But there was no harm in keeping a record of the game script.

【As the holder of a Happy Pass, you may freely enjoy everything from exciting rides to sweet snacks and hearty meals, all at no charge.】

The screen changed, and choices appeared alongside pixelated illustrations.

【A clerk wearing a rabbit costume is selling churros. They look delicious. You are not hungry yet.】

【▶ Eat】

【▶ Resist】

A thin bar at the top was shrinking bit by bit, counting down the time limit.

Judging by the speed, maybe three or four minutes.

【Resist!】

If I'm not hungry, I'll resist.

【You pass the stall, licking your lips. Seeing all that delicious food, you feel oddly hungry all of a sudden.】

"Seon Yu-han-ssi, are you good at games......?"

Hwang Ju-yeon, who would probably be next after me, came over and watched with a worried look.

"Hard to say. This kind of game is just about picking options, so there's not really a skill level to it......"

Text adventure games don't require any real dexterity, so anyone can play without much pressure. The catch is they're heavily driven by probability.

You can pick the same choice and get different results, and it's hard to know which route is the right one. Like an invasive-type Labyrinth where every variable is unknown.

......Unless you can start over multiple times.

【There's "Typhoon Express" over there! Intense and fast as a typhoon! But the eye of the storm is the highest and most thrilling! You will find liberation there. Be happy!】

【▶ Become happy】

【▶ Become unhappy】

Looking at the pixel art, it was a roller coaster with three full 360-degree loops.

I had no idea how happiness was supposed to factor into any of this.

"Ugh, seriously......"

Chae Jae-ha, still groaning from his upset stomach, dragged his chair over and read through the script.

"Isn't this, like... one of those things where you hang upside-down at the very top loop in the middle, at the highest point, and hold on with the safety bar undone?"

The bizarrely specific theory caught me off guard. I just stared at him.

"Why... what made you think of that?"

"There was a movie I saw in middle school. It had something like that in it. Honestly I still can't go to theme parks because of it."

I genuinely had no idea what kind of movies this man watched.

"But I was wondering what happens to the staff when someone rides it."

"Right, so maybe the staff ride it too, and whoever holds on survives, and whoever doesn't......"

Chae Jae-ha let the sentence trail off.

I didn't think long before making my choice.

【Become happy!】

I wouldn't know until I pressed it.

Picking "Become unhappy" would only bring consequences back on me. It wouldn't bring the dead back.

RRRUMBLE!

The sound effect of the roller coaster speeding up, followed by a piercing shriek tearing right through the speakers.

SCREEEEAM!

【The highest point, and the most still. At the very bottom of an upside-down world, you are freed from the shackles that bound you.】

SCREEECH, CREAK.

The sound of steel framework crumpling.

【Now free, you grip the iron track and surge forward. At this speed, you can still catch the cage that ran away and left you behind. It would make a perfect souvenir!】

"Wait, so this......"

Chae Jae-ha looked baffled.

The monster had been freed from the safety bar, that part was right, but after being freed it was now chasing the roller coaster that had left without it.

There was almost certainly a person still on that roller coaster.

【Ouch! Something keeps falling off the moving cage and hurting you! But you are undeterred.】

CRUNCH! BANG! SPLATTER!

Blood splashed across the screen again.

Red stains bloomed across the pixel-art roller coaster, here and there.

【You have savored the taste of freedom. Freedom has a salty, fishy flavor! You think you might get addicted to this taste.】

The screen changed right away, and this time the stall illustration I'd seen on Lee Jin-su's play screen appeared.

【A clerk wearing a raccoon costume is selling ice cream. It looks delicious. You are full right now.】

【▶ Eat】

【▶ Resist】

If I'm full, I'll resist.

【Resist!】

【You pass the stall, licking your lips. Seeing all that delicious food, you feel oddly hungry all of a sudden.】

"Seon Yu-han-ssi. Is there a reason to resist?"

Yu Hyun-jae had been quiet for a while, and this was what he finally said. Completely guileless about it.

"There's no reason to eat, either."

"But you don't want to be unhappy?"

I'd ridden a people-killing attraction and picked "Become happy," so why wouldn't I eat people.

Was he asking whether that wasn't a little hypocritical?

If so, I had my answer ready. I always did.

"Then why would I go out of my way to be unhappy?"

Yu Hyun-jae looked at me without speaking.

"Here, resisting doesn't seem to carry any particular cost to me, so I resisted."

"Ah."

Yu Hyun-jae nodded, apparently satisfied.

He didn't look offended, which surprised me a little.

He really does have a certain lightness to him that doesn't match his position.

"That's your best, then, Seon Yu-han-ssi."

Wait, was he offended? Was this a dig?

"Ah. No, what I mean is."

Yu Hyun-jae waved a hand, smiling faintly.

"I understand. That Seon Yu-han-ssi did their best. Within the limits given, as much as they could."

Was that it. I wasn't sure.

"I hope you'll keep doing that going forward. When you push beyond your limits, you end up breaking."

"Ah...... Yes."

So he was saying it was fine to pass the turn without taking on a penalty unnecessarily.

Whether he meant it or not, I couldn't tell.

【Do you remember your name?】

【▶ I remember】

【▶ I forgot】

This again.

【I remember!】

【What is your name?】

【▶ Jo】

【▶ Seon Yu-han】

【▶ JunSeo】

【▶ Hwang】

【▶ I forgot】

"Hm?"

Who's JunSeo.

"Ah. This person."

Yu Hyun-jae perked up and pointed at the screen.

"...... Do you know them?"

"Yes. They're in the break room."

He'd gone to grab food from the break room and also checked the employee IDs on Lee Jin-su's dead coworkers?

And that was somehow a good enough reason to confidently answer "yes" when asked if you know someone?

This guy is genuinely missing a screw somewhere unexpected.

At least it's not in a bad direction. Small mercies.

【Seon Yu-han!】

【Correct. You are Seon Yu-han.】

【There's "Rolling Cup" over there! Teacups spinning round and round, clinking and crashing! Be happy!】

【▶ Become happy】

【▶ Become unhappy】

This one was...... an attraction that smashed people like teacups, probably.

【Become happy!】

Sure enough.

CLANG! CRASH! CRACK!

【A perfect spinning attack! You made a direct hit on a teacup careening across a wobbling table.】

A sound effect played of something solid and liquid combined, crushed and bursting apart.

【You happily bite and tear and taste and enjoy the teacup.】

"This game...... it's really too much. Just too......"

Hwang Ju-yeon's face was awash in emotions that couldn't be put into words.

Like she couldn't figure out where to even begin, so even the curses wouldn't come out.

"All of this must have been things these people actually went through......"

Some things are worse precisely because there's no malice in them.

And the Labyrinth never has malice.

No more than a natural disaster has malice, flooding people underwater, burning mountains and fields to the ground.

I thought about the Seonghwa High Labyrinth, the Youngun Mountain Labyrinth, and the Happyland Labyrinth.

About why invasive-type Labyrinths kept coming up.

And about the nature of the Labyrinth itself.

"The Labyrinth is a graveyard of unsolved problems. And they wait for someone to come and solve them."

Nine out of ten invasive-type Labyrinths end with total annihilation of everyone inside.

Which means there is almost no way to know exactly what happened in those places.

In that sense, an invasive-type Labyrinth becomes an unsolved problem in itself.

Because no one was ever able to solve it.

So maybe it reappears as another Labyrinth's problem.

Because it still wants someone to solve it. Even just a little.

【There's a box sitting on a bench over there! It might contain a gift to make you happy.】

【▶ Open it】

【▶ Leave it】

There won't be a shred of happiness in there. Only misery.

【Leave it!】

Whoosh, rustle.

【How could you possibly leave such a cute little wrapped box behind? You turned back to the bench and opened it.】

"Come on, seriously......"

Then why ask.

【What did you find inside the box?】

【▶ A doll】

【▶ Trash】

【▶ A headband】

And this is exactly why I wanted to leave it.

Every single option was ominous.

The doll and the headband seemed like they'd use the people inside the game as materials, while the trash felt like it would put me, the person outside the game, at a disadvantage.

Which meant the answer was obvious.

【A headband!】

I would take the path that didn't kill me.

I couldn't kill someone who was already dead a second time.

Even if I wanted to.

【Wrong!】

What?

【You found trash inside the box.】

You've got to be kidding me.

Footnotes:

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