WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈
Chapter 31: HAUNTER×HUNTER
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【What a shame, that was a miss.】
A miss. Right. Sure.
I nearly dropped my pen in the middle of copying it into the diary.
【You look at the trash.】
Bzzt.
The phone suddenly vibrated and the screen flickered.
【Ugh! You feel a nauseating sensation, as if your entire body is twisting. This trash is something unfinished. Something incomplete.】
The pixel-art "trash" was so warped it was hard to make out its original shape.
It looked a little like a long-haired girl in a red dress. A little like tomato spaghetti with burnt noodles. A little like fingers with bruised nails stained red with henna.
【You will not end up like this. You wouldn't leave before seeing the parade at the very end, would you?】
Who was "you" here?
Me, playing the game?
Or the monster I was playing as?
【You consider how to dispose of the trash. Throw it in the bin? The cleaning cast will promptly sort it for recycling. Or eat it? Swallowing something that revolting might make you sick.】
【▶ Throw it away】
【▶ Eat it】
【Throw it away!】
Getting sick would be my loss.
【The moment you throw away the trash, a cast member dedicated to keeping Happyland clean appears and hauls it off.】
【All of Happyland's cast members are happy and hardworking! Through that trash, they can research how to make you even happier. After all, that trash was once a guest, just like you.】
That trash. So that was the setup.
It was probably a monster inside the game that Lee Jin-su or one of his coworkers had been playing as when they died.
Something like a kindred species.
"Ah... so I shouldn't have thrown it away."
"Why not?"
Hwang Ju-yeon had caught my muttering and asked.
"If the cast studies the guests, they might use that against us eventually."
We were in the guest role, after all. Hwang Ju-yeon's expression went strange, so I added quickly.
"I mean, but if you don't throw it away and eat it instead, it said that could make you sick too. So isn't throwing it away still the right call?"
"Either option probably has a version that's a statistical loss. This isn't exactly a normal game."
Hwang Ju-yeon nodded like that made sense.
【Over there are the thrilling 'Dancing Viking,' the spine-chilling 'Haunted House,' and the refreshing 'Waterfall Ride'! They all look like a great time. Which do you want to ride first?】
【▶ Dancing Viking】
【▶ Haunted House】
【▶ Waterfall Ride】
At times like these, the right move was not to overthink it and just pick from the top. Less room for confusion that way.
【Dancing Viking!】
【Every time you drop from the highest point, stand up from your seat and dance along to the music! Be happy!】
【▶ Be happy】
【▶ Be unhappy】
【Be happy!】
A Viking ride illustration appeared and music started playing.
No lyrics, but as soon as I heard the melody I recognized it. A song by the idol group that had been trapped here.
Not exactly the kind of music you'd play while running a Viking ride at a theme park.
【Ugh! You writhe in agony. What on earth is this horrible music?】
Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
The phone vibrated furiously and the screen kept flickering.
【A drumbeat hammering like thunder shaking heaven and earth, a melody that surges like a storm only to go still as a windless sea, utterly unpredictable, a spell chanted in a language no one can understand. You feel as though hands from deep below are reaching up to curse you.】
Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
It vibrated like blood was slowly draining away, bit by bit.
【This cursed music wormed its way into the wounds left by that incomplete trash you saw and tore you apart from inside......】
The screen, which had been flickering without stop, went completely dark.
【Oh dear! Music has the power to kill or to save! You have reached a state in which you can no longer enjoy happiness. Even so, you can still become happy.】
【CONTINUE】
【EXIT】
Dead. Killed by a dead idol's song.
Beside me, Hwang Ju-yeon sucked in a startled breath and watched me with anxious eyes.
Chae Jae-ha and Yu Hyun-jae said nothing, just watching me in silence.
They couldn't force me to take a penalty and keep playing, and they couldn't tell me to quit and pass the turn.
If we were playing in the order names were entered, Hwang Ju-yeon had gone in right after me, so she was next.
Which meant that if I pressed EXIT here and stopped.
"......"
I took a moment to gather my thoughts, shorthand-copying the script and choices into the Jaelae Diary.
Honestly, I wanted to stop. Of course I did.
But if I stopped here?
Hwang Ju-yeon, probably next in line, would want to quit the moment her turn came too.
Then Yu Hyun-jae after her, and Chae Jae-ha after that.
And then when it finally reached Jeong Ji-ho, the last in line?
I glanced over at the child sitting in a chair that was too big for them.
Eyes half-closed, probably drained from throwing up earlier.
Not only could I not leave something that heavy and dangerous to a kid who hadn't even started elementary school, but setting aside any question of obligation or moral weight, if nobody cleared this game, nobody got out.
Could this child clear it?
A child who hadn't fully learned to read, who had shut down and stopped talking?
A game that all the adults had given up on and passed down the line?
"For now...... I'm going to keep going. As far as I can."
So I had to push forward from the front, as far as possible, and collect the data.
Even if the turn inevitably reached Jeong Ji-ho.
If there was enough data by then. If luck held.
This child might be able to clear it.
"Seon Yu-han-ssi......"
The emotion in Hwang Ju-yeon's trembling voice hit me as if it were my own.
Worry for me, about to lose a part of my body. Relief that her own turn hadn't come. Guilt and disgust at herself for feeling that relief.
And last, gratitude toward me.
The moment I felt all of it, I covered my mouth.
【CONTINUE!】
I chose to continue, strangling a laugh that had tried to burst out of me.
There would be no pain regardless. No matter what I lost.
【A wise person like you doesn't let a chance at happiness slip away.】
【But happiness always comes at a price!】
Everyone held their breath and watched the screen.
【Don't worry! It won't hurt. A small contribution will make you happy: foot】
"Ha......"
"Oh God...... thank goodness, well, not goodness exactly, but anyway you're alive......"
I slowly bowed my head and looked down at my shoes.
Sitting still with both feet flat on the floor, I hadn't noticed any difference. But when I carefully tried to move my foot, the two sides felt completely different.
"Hm......"
My right ankle dropped into nothing, like the floor had given way beneath it.
Tak.
When I took off my shoe, I could see exactly what was gone.
"Is it the heel?"
"Yes."
The heel of my sock was loose and empty.
The top of my foot, the ankle, all my toes, all intact. Just the heel, cleanly gone.
I thought about taking off the sock to check the cross-section, then let it go.
Not something to do with people watching.
"Representative."
"Yes."
"Would this qualify as a workplace injury?"
I knew it wouldn't, and the Ministry of Employment and Labor knew it wouldn't.
The atmosphere had just gotten too grim and I had to say something.
"I can probably push your paperwork start date back from my end," Yu Hyun-jae said, with a smile in his voice, playing along.
"Making the impossible possible. That's the thing I do best."
I believed it.
This wasn't a world where you could reach that position on ability alone with no connections. At his age, especially.
【You've finished resting and stood back up. Now, it's time to be happy again!】
The game resumed.
【Do you remember your name?】
【▶ Remember it】
【▶ I forgot】
【Remember it!】
【Your name is?】
【▶ CJH】
【▶ Kim Jin-woo】
【▶ Seon Yu-han】
【▶ binary】
【▶ I forgot】
Kim Jin-woo. Who was that.
Without thinking, I glanced at Yu Hyun-jae on the off chance, but he just shrugged like he had no idea.
"There aren't more people here besides the seven of us, are there...?" the accountant from CJH muttered, ominous as the first person to die in a horror movie.
"Probably not, but...... this person could still be a Neosoft employee."
If that was the case.
If the employees who had gone missing were also playing this game somewhere.
"Huh? Then where are they?"
Everyone who had disappeared when Jaelae Building went through Labyrinthification, like the Interview Administrator or the daycare children.
"Here. They might be in the same Labyrinth as us."
Existing in a separate space-time, identical to this one but cut off from it.
"Ah, that's plausible," Representative Yu Hyun-jae said, nodding.
"If the Labyrinth divided people to manage the difficulty, that would make sense. Generally, the more people working to resolve a Labyrinth, the easier it becomes."
Most of the serious problems in the world could be solved by throwing enough resources at them.
The Labyrinth probably wasn't completely exempt from that rule.
The cost in resources consumed along the way was simply excessive. Human resources included.
Even when you poured in every resource, time, money, personnel, without limit, an invasive-type Labyrinth was a place where one survivor counted as a miracle.
In short, how do you justify grinding resources into somewhere with that kind of return?
Nobody wanted Red Threads or government special operatives pouring in and dying by the crowd, or endless tax money burned on something that wouldn't work anyway.
That was the general public sentiment.
Of course, that general public rarely included the people actually trapped inside a Labyrinth.
【Seon Yu-han!】
【Correct. You are Seon Yu-han.】
Honestly, I didn't want that either.
Any rescue personnel who came in would only raise the body bag count.
The Labyrinth was considerate. It came prepared.
Ready to create new rules and new phenomena so that any newcomers wouldn't feel left out.
That was why the Labyrinth Management Bureau made the preliminary procedures for entering an invasive-type Labyrinth so complicated, and why, the moment an invasive-type Labyrinth was confirmed, entry was blocked for everyone.
In principle.
【Over there is the 'Haunted House'! The thrill of chasing and being chased in a spooky house full of ghosts! Seems like just the thing to loosen up before lunch. Be happy!】
【▶ Be happy】
【▶ Be unhappy】
Chasing and being chased. A haunted house.
Probably going to be rough on the player's side too.
Still, getting through this one seemed to bring us to the afternoon.
One step closer to Happyland's closing time.
【Be happy!】
An illustration of the Haunted House appeared in dark teal, purple, and black.
【You walk down a dim corridor. Which room do you enter first?】
【▶ Kitchen】
【▶ Living room】
When in doubt, pick from the top.
【Kitchen!】
Tat-tat-tat......!
Something charging toward me.
Kyaaaah!
Blood splattered with a blood-curdling scream.
【What a scare! But a ghost armed with a paring knife is no match for you. You crunch into a ripe red apple.】
Crisp, crunch.
【A sound comes from the living room.】
Click, clack.
What kind of sound effect was that. I half knew, half didn't.
【A sound comes from above.】
Creeeak, thud......
That one I recognized.
Something moving softly on the second floor.
【Which room do you enter?】
【▶ Living room】
【▶ Ceiling】
【Living room!】
【You discovered a ghost sitting perfectly still on the floor. What is that large toy in front of it?】
Thoom! Ta-da-da-dung!
"Ha......!"
"What is this? Why is it making that sound?"
Krrang! Ta-da-da-!
Gunfire rang out, battering my ears in a steady stream.
【Ugh! You writhe in agony. What is this ghost that's tearing you apart?】
Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
The screen flashed at rapid speed.
【You keep your nerve and charge at the ghost. You can't quit here, can you?】
Ta-da-da-da, thoom! Krak-!
【Oh dear! You defeated the ghost, but even you can only take so much when 18,000 joules of energy keep pouring in without stop! You have reached a state in which you can no longer enjoy happiness. Even so, you can still become happy.】
【CONTINUE】
【EXIT】
That click-clack sound from the living room earlier.
That had been a machine gun being loaded.
Footnotes:
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