WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: DereKimchi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Mad Demon in a Novel ◈
Chapter 24: Thunderclap Wall
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The next day, Lang Bai walked into Revered One Hall with a gloomy face, looking like a criminal.
He had smacked an ancient Chinese wine gourd with his elbow, tap, tap, as if it were a bottle of Chamisul.[1]
There were no excuses for that.
This bastard was definitely a Galler too.
“Go stand in that corner with your hands up and think about what you’ve done.”
“What? Yes, sir!”
Ha. The more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off.
What was I supposed to call this feeling?
Was this how it felt to check your girlfriend’s KakaoTalk and find her exchanging sweet little messages with her ex?
The original story’s narrative logic tied the Ten Armies of the Mad Demon closely to me. Their very lives made no sense without this Mad Demon. In other words, they were dependent on me.
That was why I had openly shown my modern sensibilities in front of the Ten Armies.
Lang Bai must have recognized who I was, yet he had kept pretending not to know.
If he was going to hide it, he should have kept it hidden to the end. Instead, he’d gotten blind drunk and gone tap, tap on a wine gourd with his elbow?
“Why didn’t you mix up a tornado bomb shot while you were at it? Can’t you do the little knife-hand trick? Back and forth, then pop?”
“I-I’m sorry.”
Looking at him kneeling there with his face all blue, I felt my anger ease a little.
“When did you figure it out?”
“Well... back at the hut. And when you slapped the Heavenly Demon...”
“What else?”
“The well...”
“What else?”
“That... post in the gallery about how you thought you’d possessed the Mad Demon... I gave it the last thumbs-up that made it a Top Post.”
“You little shit.”
“P-please spare me!”
I should have felt relieved to find a companion I could talk to in this bleak den of demons.
Instead, I got chills thinking about this sneaky bastard sitting in the front row, munching popcorn as he watched all my stupid antics.
I couldn’t begin to imagine how much he’d snickered behind my back.
“Was it fun?”
“A little...”
“You’re hopeless. Get down.”
“Eek!”
I crouched in front of him as he lay face down and listened to his long, long story.
He had woken up as a hunchback.
He had been forced to live as the foul-tempered Mad Demon’s lackey.
This was a dangerous den of demons where he couldn’t trust anyone, so he’d had no choice but to keep his mouth shut.
“Big Brother, think about it. That son of a... I mean, the original Mad Demon. That crazy bastard caused so much trouble that everyone around us was an enemy. At first, the assassination attempts meant I never got more than two hours of sleep at a time.”
“Hmm.”
“And I didn’t have any money, but I had four younger ones to look after... Honestly, getting by here was even harder than in the modern world. When you gave me my first paycheck a little while ago, I nearly cried...”
He spoke calmly, his face blank, as though he were talking about someone else.
With a face that thoroughly wrecked, though, he was incredibly convincing.
“Get up.”
“What? Yes!”
Actually, this worked out well.
I had needed a messenger who could keep me informed about the Demonic Cult while I was in the River North Alliance’s territory.
“‘Madness.’ That’ll be the title of our private posts from now on. The password is 119119119. Starting today, keep a close eye on the gallery.”
“As you command!”
Hmm.
Even after we’d revealed ourselves as Gallers to each other, he still couldn’t drop the Demonic Cult’s formalities.
The old Mad Demon must have put him through hell.
“How old were you, anyway? Did you finish your military service?”
“I was born in the Year of the Dog.”[2]
The Year of the Dog? Born in 2006, then? So, twenty-one?
I immediately felt sorry for him.
“What? A fresh-faced kid has been suffering like a dog in a martial arts world? Don’t people your age usually read more modern-day stories? If you’d been doing your military service, at least you couldn’t have clicked on that damned Mad Heaven Records. Your life really is...”
“I finished my military service when I was young.”
“Huh?”
Then thirty-three?
...That would make him older than me.
“O-oh, really? Then you’re at the age when you should be working hard to build a career. Your life and mine really are...”
“I reached retirement age a few years ago...”
“What?”
Whoa.
Then he was born in ’58, the Year of the Dog?
“You. Don’t ever call me Big Brother again.”
“H-how could I dare...?”
“If I tell you not to, don’t!”
Lang Bai.
He was an older man who had enjoyed martial arts novels through his reading glasses.
All he’d had to do was relax and enjoy retirement. Why had he gone and clicked on that final chapter...?
What would it even feel like to finish raising your children, only to start over as a newbie in a martial arts world?
My irritation had given way to a somber respect.
Somehow, I wanted to treat him well.
And if he was an older Korean guy...
“Do you like hiking, by any chance?”
“Sitting on a mountaintop, enjoying the cool breeze and unpacking a snack... Ah! It feels like the whole world is yours.”
“...Right. Let’s go hiking together sometimes.”
“D-do you really mean that?”
“Yeah.”
Lang Bai smiled as brightly as a child, showing his buck teeth.
I hated God all over again.
Seriously, why drag this poor old guy into such a dangerous pit?
At least be a little selective when kidnapping people. This man had spent his whole life working to feed his family, and now he had to be the Mad Demon’s lackey?
“Whew.”
But what could we do?
Any of us could find ourselves standing before a cliff at any moment. That was life.
Shouting that it made no sense or that it wasn’t fair wouldn’t change anything.
We could only endure by accepting that our luck was this rotten.
“Let’s get down to business.”
“...Business?”
“Remember this. That person is always more important than the Divine Maiden.”
Lang Bai followed my gaze to the Heavenly Demon and swallowed with a gulp.
“Is there... a chance the Heavenly Demon could wake up?”
“I entered the Heavenly Demon’s soul with the Divine Maiden. I confirmed that the soul was still alive and well.”
“The Empty Soul Spirit Art (空魂靈法術)!”
Lang Bai’s mouth fell open. Then he asked in alarm, “If the soul is alive, why can’t the Heavenly Demon wake up?”
“Well...”
I gave him a brief explanation.
The author’s rules had sealed the Heavenly Demon’s soul inside a barrier shaped like a billiard ball, working like a law of this world.
The Heavenly Demon also had some vague idea of who we Gallers were.
Finally, we were called the Non-Souls (不魂).
“Did the Heavenly Demon really say they’d kill us?”
“Yeah. Said they’d even bring in the River North Alliance if things didn’t go their way.”
“That makes absolutely no sense...!”
Lang Bai was as shocked as I had been.
The Heavenly Demon bringing in the River North Alliance.
That meant this world’s conflict would no longer be between the orthodox and unorthodox factions. It would become the original inhabitants versus the Gallers.
The entire course of Mad Heaven Records would change beyond recognition.
“Has the chapter already gone that badly off script?”
“Huh? Are you one of those original-story purist pests too?”
Lang Bai shook his head in alarm.
“A-absolutely not! Not at all! If anything, I welcome change!”
“You. You nearly died just now.”
“P-please spare me!”
Lang Bai dropped face down onto the cold floor again.
I could feel it too.
My eyes had gone wild.
Whatever else I might not know, I had already met the Swordwood Lord.
I had learned the hard way just how insane those crusty veterans could be.
The group dedicated to protecting the original story had shown hostility toward me first.
Whoever they were, I had no intention of showing them even a shred of mercy.
This was the martial world. If I didn’t thrust my blade first, I’d end up with a hole in my stomach.
“Watch that person carefully. Sure, the author’s rules are working like the laws of heaven... but that’s still the Heavenly Demon.”
The Heavenly Demon (天魔).
It wouldn’t be particularly surprising if they broke through the author’s rules.
In almost every martial arts novel, the Heavenly Demon was a being who ignored narrative logic.
“...”
Lang Bai was looking at the Heavenly Demon again, his face tense.
Beyond those trembling pupils, I could sense a seasoned soul that had weathered all kinds of hardship.
Surviving as Lang Bai the hunchback probably wasn’t something I could put down to simple luck.
I had always believed there was something to learn from anyone even a year older than me.
“Help me out more from now on. All right?”
“Please... you needn’t ask.”
Then I untied the bundle I had prepared and took out the thoroughly dried Black-Scale Flying Rig.
“Isn’t that a Black-Scale Flying Rig?”
The Black-Scale Flying Rig (黑鱗飛車).
It was a flying rig used by the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult’s special operations squad for aerial assaults.
In modern terms, it was somewhere between a parachute and a wingsuit. The Demonic Cult’s own high-altitude infiltration gear, you could say.
“What happens if the Demonic Young Masters find out I’m not in the Demonic Cult? Do you think you lot and the Divine Maiden will be safe?”
“...”
“I have to make them believe I’m holed up somewhere in the Demonic Cult before I leave.”
Lang Bai had been frozen in a daze. His eyes suddenly widened.
“Chuk-ang! Surely you don’t mean...?”
He was looking at Thunderclap Wall (雷音壁), the sheer cliff visible beyond the rear garden of Revered One Hall.
“T-this is madness! Those violent air currents will tear your limbs off! And you don’t even have internal energy, my lord...!”
“But I have this.”
Lang Bai stared blankly at Silent Aeon Demon Soul in my hand.
“B-but there’s no guarantee even Silent Aeon Demon Soul’s spiritual energy will let you withstand it!”
“It’ll work.”
I knew now.
The original Mad Demon, that crazy bastard, had already descended Thunderclap Wall time and again.
Tup, tup.
I unfolded the Black-Scale Flying Rig and straightened out every knot.
Spread across the floor, the rig looked utterly bizarre.
Pitch-black, oiled leather.
Closely woven spars made from tough Black Dragon Bamboo (黑龍竹).
It looked as though someone had spread an enormous bat’s wings across the floor.
I secured the loops hanging from the bat’s torso around both legs.
Then I tied the leather straps tightly around my abdomen, their thick knots pressing against me.
The rig felt quite awkward on my body. Perhaps to withstand the pressure of a high-speed descent, the knots were unusually bulky.
At last, the upper clasp locked with a click.
A tough, flexible membrane stretched from my armpits down my sides, all the way to the ends of my calves.
When I moved around, I looked exactly like a human bat.
“My lord, please reconsider!”
“My body remembers.”
“...What?”
“Don’t worry. The original Mad Demon has already done this more than a few dozen times.”
“Has your assimilation fusion already finished?”
I stared at Lang Bai’s startled, rabbit-like eyes.
Assimilation fusion (同化融合), huh.
So that was what the Gallers were already calling it.
The road of a newbie was long and rough indeed.
Shhhhhhh...
The moisture in the air condensed at an impossible speed.
Silvery-white ice butterflies fluttered through the great hall as though performing a group dance in midair.
Ghastly pale spiritual energy of extreme yin (極陰).
It rolled across the floor, blooming into beautiful frost flowers wherever it touched.
The cold of the Demon Calamity Snow Domain (魔劫雪域) twisted space itself to its will.
As that brilliant, mysterious energy swept fiercely in every direction, Lang Bai shuddered.
The Mad Demon’s domain had spread in a single rush, crushing his spirit with its cruel beauty.
“...This drives me mad every time I see it.”
Lang Bai lay face down, trembling like a leaf.
Come to think of it, this sight might be traumatic for the old man.
The Mad Demon must have looked like this whenever that lunatic went on a rampage.
“Remember. Always keep that Heavenly Demon...”
“I’ll watch that person all day long.”
Shrrrrrrr.
I spread my arms, opening the Black-Scale Flying Rig to its full width. It looked pretty cool.
“Don’t go that far. You have to protect the Divine Maiden too. The most important thing is to act as if I’m still in the Demonic Cult. Just like usual.”
“As you command!”
Leaving Lang Bai face down behind me, I gathered the cold of the Demon Calamity Snow Domain beneath my feet.
I glided out into open air, then jumped down from Thunderclap Wall.
Whoooooosh...
The moment I twisted the Black-Scale Flying Rig to catch the wind, I caught a brief glimpse of the dazzling sunset covering the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult.
Beneath that sunset, Lang Bai was waving to me.
Footnotes:
[1] Chamisul is a soju brand. Tapping, spinning, and striking bottles are playful drinking rituals; a “bomb shot” mixes liquor with beer.
[2] The Korean zodiac repeats every twelve years, so being born in the Year of the Dog does not establish someone’s age.
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