WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: DereKimchi
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◈ I Became the Mad Demon in a Novel ◈
Chapter 25: Kingsman
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As expected, getting around without the Ten Armies of the Mad Demon was inconvenient in more ways than one.
Still, I had good reasons for leaving them behind.
They’d never stand for me pretending to belong to the orthodox faction.
Besides, they stood out far too much.
Their mugs looked so vicious that their faces alone could serve as Heavenly Demon Divine Cult ID photos.
At least I was now as rich as a business tycoon.
Before I left to enter the martial world, the Divine Maiden had asked how much I needed. I’d grinned and held up two fingers.
Honestly, I’d thought two hundred silver coins would be more than generous.
Instead, the Divine Maiden had casually handed me a box packed with gold ingots.
Two hundred gold ingots.
The gold coins in circulation contained copper, but gold ingots were lumps of pure gold with all impurities removed.
With two hundred of those, how many thousand pieces of silver would that be?
No, hold on.
Had I done the math right?
Let’s calculate that properly.
One gold ingot was usually worth about ten gold pieces.
And the Demonic Cult’s finest refined gold was worth ten pieces of silver to one gold piece.
That meant one gold ingot was worth a hundred pieces of silver.
Two hundred of them came to twenty thousand pieces of silver.
One or two pieces of silver supposedly covered a commoner family’s tight monthly budget...
Taking a low estimate, what if I counted two pieces of silver as two million won?
That meant ten thousand bundles worth two million won each.
“...”
My brain froze, and I stopped dead.
While counting the zeros in my head, my balls had started trembling.
Twenty billion won in cash.
An amount comparable to the quarterly budget of a small city.
And I was walking down a gravel road with that enormous fortune strapped to my back like an ordinary bundle.
“Damn it.”
Wait, I’d given the Ten Armies two of these gold ingots each?
And promised to pay them that much every month?
“Y-you fucking idiot!”
Two ingots meant two hundred million won. So their annual salary was 2.4 billion?
Sure, they were the Ten Armies of the Mad Demon, the best in the Demonic Cult, but were they really worth that much?
Even if I piled on hazard pay, slave pay, and every other allowance imaginable...
‘...That’s way too much.’
Even in the modern world, an annual salary of several billion won put you on the level of a Major League Baseball player or a company CEO.
A cold shiver ran up my spine, and I quickly shook my head.
Even if it made me look pathetic as their lord, I had to take that promise back.
What kind of self-proclaimed hardcore martial arts nut threw money around without even doing the math?
‘Ugh...’
It wasn’t as if this had never happened before.
When I’d traveled to Southeast Asia, I’d failed to grasp the difference in currency values and spent money like water.
Only after coming home and checking my bank balance had I gasped and clapped a hand over my mouth.
Smack!
I rubbed my face to get a grip.
Come to think of it, Que Biao’s eyes had been unusually moist.
The Mad Demon, who’d never paid a single penny, had suddenly handed over four hundred million won as a monthly salary. Of course that dopamine rush would scramble anyone’s brain.
Grrrk!
‘I have to work them to the bone! Squeeze every last drop out of them!’
Title: Madness (Private)
Answer fast while I’m still asking nicely.
Less than ten seconds later, Lang Bai replied.
└As you command! Did you call?
└How are the injured ones?
└Ah, you mean Hyeong Il and Pyo Ak? They were prescribed Demon-Neighbor Pills and are recovering quickly!
└How much did we pay the Master of Mukyak Hall?
└I believe the captain gave about three gold ingots?
└Ha. Fuck.
└Shall I take them back?
└Forget it. Keep a close eye on the Demonic Young Masters. Have at least three people guarding Ten Thousand Demons Hall at all times. And you’re on Heavenly Demon duty until I tell you otherwise.
└As you command!
└Earn your keep.
└As you command!
I was about to leave the gallery when a familiar Chinese character caught my eye among the rapidly appearing posts.
It was a private post by the Return Seekers.
Title: Gui (“Return”) (Private)
Anyone around Shanxi taking part in the upcoming Orthodox Martial Tournament?
If so, let’s party up and go together.
I’m from the Li Clan Sword School, but I’m from a clan branch, so I have to enter on my own T_T
I’m scared shitless of crossing Gokhan Pass alone.
└Yeah, crossing Gokhan Pass alone is insane. If anyone’s around, party up.
└But why bother entering when the sparring champion seems to be decided already? Don’t you know the winner always comes from the River North Alliance?
└Just trying to make some connections;;; Fucking clan branch... There are way too many limits on how much I can grow T_T Honestly, I’d switch sects if I could...
└Isn’t the Li Clan Sword School ridiculously strict? Leaving won’t be easy, even if you’re from a clan branch.
└What, they make members of a clan branch sever the muscles and tendons in all four limbs to leave, just like direct disciples? lmao
└Wouldn’t put it past the Li Clan Sword School. Their old bastards are famous for being close-minded fossils.
└This is why you have to pick your sect carefully... So many people join the wrong sect as newbies and end up suffering...
Did people suffer because of the color of the spoon they were born with, even in a martial arts world?[1]
No, this was a world where ruling and slave classes actually existed. The spoon hierarchy would hit even harder here.
Clan branches.
At first glance, they might seem similar to outer disciples, but the reality was completely different.
Those who lost a struggle for the position of clan head were driven away from the center of power.
They shared the same surname, yet belonged to a minor faction treated like the clan’s unwanted burden.
That was how clan branches usually formed, and the oppression they suffered at the hands of the main clan was no joke.
‘Heh. The Mad Demon, huh.’
I stood among the Demonic Cult’s highest ranks as the Chuk-ang, a figure whose symbolic importance rivaled the Divine Maiden’s.
I’d possessed someone who ranked among the strongest beings in this setting, in both martial power and authority.
It struck me all over again just how impressive the spoon I’d been born with was.
Of course, mine wasn’t a normal golden spoon.
It had a shiny gold coating, but underneath was a blood-red “demon spoon” covered in poison.
Still, compared to people recruiting party members and worrying about whether they could cross Gokhan Pass...
I might as well have started at max level.
‘First things first.’
Whatever the case, I needed to deal with the problem in front of me.
└Sorry to interrupt, but where can I get a fair exchange for gold ingots?
└Gold ingots? You mean those big lumps of gold?
└Yeah. It’s urgent.
└Holy shit... I’ve never even seen one in person...
└So gold ingots actually exist...
└For what? What you’re exchanging them for matters.
└I want to keep a little spending money and exchange the rest for bank drafts.
└How much are we talking?
└About 170 ingots.
Sure enough, the reaction was explosive.
└Holy shit, are you insane? lmaooo 170 gold ingots?? lmaooo
└You’re making that up, right?
└Wait, you’re carrying that much in actual gold right now? Quit fucking lying!
└Wow... You’re on another level of rich... Can I have just one? I’ll be your slave for a month and work like a dog!
Yes, I knew it sounded ridiculous.
I knew, but still.
└So where do I exchange them...? Is there a bank that’ll never go under? Somewhere insanely reliable.
Bank drafts.
Put simply, they were slips of paper guaranteeing the value of assets deposited at a bank.
Present one, and you could get the assets back.
But I couldn’t leave my money with just any bank.
Seventeen billion won.
If some bank branch manager got greedy and ran off with it...
‘Then, buddy, I become the Mad Demon. And my plan to infiltrate the orthodox faction goes straight down the drain.’
I didn’t want to cause a disaster like that as soon as I entered orthodox territory.
└Red Plum Bank is the most reliable. It has the Mount Hua Sect, the greatest under heaven, as its big brother. Who would dare mess with it?
└Roughly how much is the fee?
└Around 20%, I think? That’s pretty much the standard fee for bank drafts.
└What? 20%?
Wow. Those thieving sons of bitches.
It wasn’t even annual interest. They charged a whole twenty percent just to exchange money?
└You can’t use our economic standards here, lol. This is a world where 3,000% annual interest is the default, lmao.
Hmm. Fair enough.
This was a medieval setting where you didn’t earn interest by putting money in a bank. Instead, they charged you to keep it there.
Expecting advanced modern finance in this brutal martial arts world was ridiculous to begin with.
‘Even so, twenty percent crosses the line.’
Was it really worth paying 3.4 billion won in fees to exchange my gold for bank drafts?
I could always turn into the Mad Demon if anything went wrong, so perhaps I could just keep carrying it... Oh, right. I was heading to River North.
‘Ugh, it’s so heavy...’
Should I have trusted the others and left it at Revered One Hall?
It wasn’t as if I could climb back up Thunderclap Wall. This was driving me insane.
Life really wasn’t easy.
└I can’t do 20%. Anyway, thanks for the info.
└Yeah, actual gold and silver are best. Paying with bank drafts is basically a money flex.
Ah, so that was another way Chinese face culture worked.
Throwing down a bank draft when buying something.
That showed you were rich enough to shrug off the enormous fees.
└What about exchanging it for silver, then? I still need to change at least one ingot into silver;;;
└There’s no fee for exchanging actual gold and silver. Buy enough at a big shop, and they can give it to you as change.
└Would an inn work?
└A big one probably could.
└Okay.
After about ten rounds of hiking and sleeping outdoors, chewing jerky and drinking stream water, I finally saw my first official road.
I’d walked relentlessly for around ten days, and I’d only just reached Nanning.
The River North Alliance?
I hadn’t even covered five percent of the journey.
A carriage, a horse, whatever it took. I needed to find something fast.
* * *
At last, I reached Nanning’s city gate.
Instead of the bloody stench of the Hundred Thousand Mountains, I could smell people going about their lives.
Countless carriages and carts crowded together, while peddlers waited in a long line.
It finally felt as though I’d reached a big city.
In the distance, I spotted the grandest inn.
“Pavilion in the Clouds, huh.”
It was a magnificent wooden building three stories high.
Even at the entrance, the smell of fatty meat grilling and the sharp scent of strong liquor stung my nose.
The moment I stepped inside, an almost deafening wave of noise washed over me.
“Another bottle of Zhuyeqing over here!”
“Hey, waiter! When’s our food coming?”
The place was bustling with life.
I adjusted my bundle and sat at an empty table.
Thud. My bundle hit the floor with a dull metallic sound.
How much should I order?
No owner would be happy if I handed over a hundred million won to pay for a single meal.
Even as the Mad Demon, I couldn’t help worrying.
“Ready to order, sir?”
My eyes met those of the waiter who hurried over.
The waiter’s gaze swept over my frayed clothes and dust-covered long robe.
Ah, was this going to cause another misunderstanding?
My martial uniform was a wreck after that vertical plunge down Thunderclap Wall.
“Let’s keep it simple for now. Five-spice braised pork, a Phoenix and Qilin Platter, and Nü’erhong for the wine.”
I ordered the most expensive dishes I could think of.
As expected, the waiter’s eyes went wide.
“Those are premium dishes that cost over three pieces of silver... Will you be able to afford them, young hero?”
“Easily.”
Even after that, the waiter kept looking me up and down with a doubtful expression.
Well, Nanning saw plenty of travelers, which meant plenty of freeloaders who ate without paying.
“Hmm.”
I thought for a moment.
To get my order through while looking this shabby, I would have to show the waiter that I had a gold ingot.
The problem was that doing so would obviously draw attention.
In this martial arts setting, mountain bandits, roaming bandits, and robbers were actual professions.
In a lawless world where Imperial Law was useless, such a ridiculous act was a clear invitation to rob me.
But I didn’t have much choice.
Whether I argued with the waiter or took out the gold, I would draw attention either way.
In that case, wouldn’t it be better to make it obvious that I was a martial artist?
I took Silent Aeon Demon Soul, wrapped in cloth, from my bundle and set it on the table first.
Then I brought out a heavy lump of gold, a single gold ingot.
“Here.”
The waiter immediately clapped a hand over their mouth.
“Hup!”
A gold ingot.
Such rare currency that an ordinary person might never see one in an entire lifetime.
In our terms, it was like seeing a hundred-million-won gold bar up close.
“I-I-I’ll bring your order at once!”
It was all well and good that the waiter scurried off.
But damn it, I could feel those blatant stares.
Even after I wiped the gold ingot a few times and put it back in my bundle, everyone around me kept staring.
Somehow... I had a pretty bad feeling about this.
“Ha.”
The fucking inn cliché.
As a hardcore martial arts reader, I really, really hated it.
Irritation surged through me, and I spoke quietly to everyone around me.
“Remember this. If even one of you tries anything, you all die. I won’t say it twice.”
This was still Demonic Cult territory.
Even if a sword fight broke out, no River North Alliance warriors would come rushing in.
But the Mad Demon was supposed to be at the Demonic Cult right now.
Unfortunately, the Mad Demon’s Demon Calamity Snow Domain was far too distinctive.
In other words, the moment I took up this sword, I would have to kill everyone.
“Heh heh.”
A man holding a crimson saber suddenly sprang to his feet.
The huge man grinned and blocked the inn’s curtained doorway.
His eyes were already blazing with greed as he stared at my bundle.
“Hmm.”
That bastard.
Had he seriously just pulled a Kingsman in front of the Mad Demon?[2]
Footnotes:
[1] Korean slang ranks inherited privilege by spoon material or color. A “golden spoon” means someone born into wealth, forming the basis of the narrator’s “demon spoon” joke.
[2] In Kingsman: The Secret Service, a character blocks a pub’s exit before taking on the men inside.
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