WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 20: Pinocchia
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Puppetmaster’s masterpiece, Pinocchia.
Unlike other automatons that carried out actions programmed into them by algorithms, Pinocchia was an automaton who had awakened to a soul and self-awareness.
A masterpiece without equal, before or since.
But because her capabilities were simply too exceptional, she had yet to find a master.
“No just anyone can become your master. Until someone qualified appears, I can’t give you to anybody.”
Gepettina?
Certainly, her mother, known as Puppetmaster, was qualified enough.
But Gepettina was the creator and mother who had made her, not her master.
A dog followed a human as its master, not the mother who had given birth to it.
That was why Pinocchia had always suffered from an unfulfilled longing.
She had been born a doll, and she yearned for a master who would handle her.
It was a unique instinct that only a doll with a soul and self-awareness could possess.
That was why she had always dreamed of it.
One day, she would meet a master worthy of her, leave this cramped underground Ark, and see the real sky and sun.
But not only did she lack a master, she could not even leave the Ark.
A terrifying virus raged outside. One breath of outside air would drive someone mad instantly.
‘It really was terrifying.’
The Ark was not perfect, either.
Very occasionally, a tiny amount of the virus slipped in beyond Mother’s expectations. Whenever that happened, people and dolls alike would go mad and convulse.
‘Mother always seems to see the future. Why can’t she deal perfectly with this virus alone?’
According to Mother, it had been scattered by an existence far too transcendent, allowing it to force its way through distortions in the timeline.
It was still too difficult for Pinocchia to understand.
Her only interests were the person who would become her master and her longing for the outside world.
There was nobody in the Ark talented enough to handle her.
‘Ah, I want to meet my master. I want to see the outside world, too.’
Still, she did not leave to search for a master.
Out of every human and automaton in the Ark, the one who cared for her most was her mother, Gepettina.
‘If I died, she would be terribly sad.’
She hated living as a doll without a master.
She hated her suffocating life in the Ark, too.
She wanted to go outside, have adventures, and find a master to whom she could entrust herself completely.
To her, the Ark, which was practically everyone’s salvation, was merely a stifling fence.
At least, until Mother called for her.
Mother had said that today, she might meet a master and go outside.
“R-Really, Mother?”
Pinocchia’s core glowed red with joy.
At last. Had someone finally appeared?
No, that was not quite right.
‘M-My master must have been born!’
A child born with the talent to meet Mother Gepettina’s standards had likely appeared.
‘I can wait until they grow up. Yes!’
She had a body that would never age.
She could wait as long as necessary for a young master to grow up.
But Pinocchia’s expectations were far from the truth.
“So come pray with me, Pinocchia.”
“Pardon?”
“We need to win the roulette, don’t we?”
“R-Roulette?”
Mother often stared into empty space and said things Pinocchia could not understand, but today, she was saying far more incomprehensible things than usual.
* * *
ㄴSolo Hero*) Ah, please let it be me this time!!!! Please!!!!
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) I’ve bet my life at plenty of gambling dens, but I’ve never been this nervous;;
ㄴMartial God) Those Sichuan Tang Clan bastards can’t develop anything even when people hand them the materials;; If I get picked now, it’ll be awkward like Dundo
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Martial God, Martial God, what are you talking about?
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Anyway, what if I win twice in a row? Heh. I really don’t have anything left to give....
ㄴVampire Princess) Keep dreaming, you Five-Minute Regressor bitch.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) What? I can’t really hear someone who’s never even had a Chocolate Bar.
ㄴVampire Princess) Haaah! If I win, I shall properly crush that arrogance of yours!
ㄴArchmage) Based on all the data I have seen, I have plenty of elixirs that would suit him perfectly. Please let this be the time....!
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) I-I want to win too, brother ㅠㅠ
ㄴPuppetmaster) I have a 100% chance of winning this time.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Haha, stop talking nonsense.
Even after posting the comment, Gepettina was surprised by herself.
Since when had it been?
After choosing to flee to the Ark, she had not been someone who enjoyed jokes like this.
‘So I can joke about probabilities.’
If nothing else, she had never tampered with probabilities calculated by the automatons’ algorithms. She never imagined her true feelings would slip out like that.
Only then did she realize that the corners of her mouth had curled up slightly.
‘Thanks, Newbie.’
Even if another Infinite Regressor had broken the laws of infinite regression, including the Trade feature, she would not have been affected this much.
Amor Fati was so positive that it had seeped into her without her noticing.
‘But wanting to win isn’t a joke. I mean it!’
Every member of the Infinite Regression Gallery probably felt the same way.
They were all people worn down by infinite regression in their own worlds.
Elixirs and treasures of the ages no longer tempted them much.
‘Except Dundo.’
In other words, no Infinite Regressor would hesitate to open their treasure vault at this point.
They were already in a position where they would feel satisfied just shoving gifts into the newbie’s hands for free.
But after Dundo’s lucky flexing completely changed the Gallery’s atmosphere, a fierce spark had risen in the hearts of its users.
‘I’m curious! So curious!’
The value of an item was proportional to its rarity.
Treasures from each of their dimensions were one thing, but the newbie’s trade items were truly one of a kind.
By rarity alone, they ranked among the rarest items across every dimension.
Items that followed someone through regression.
Even if it were a stone rolling around by the roadside, its value would be beyond measure if it followed regression.
In other words.
‘I’m curious, sure, but I want to flex like Dundo too!’
Even Puppetmaster, who had always been calm, had sincerely envied Dundo, the Five-Minute Regressor, for a moment.
Gepettina prayed alongside Pinocchia, her masterpiece.
“Pleeease!”
She clasped her tiny hands and prayed desperately.
She did not notice Pinocchia’s eyes narrowing as she watched her mother’s strange behavior.
Of course, Pinocchia’s suspicion did not last long.
This concerned her master and the outside world.
Pinocchia set aside her doubts and prayed with all her heart.
She did not know what this roulette was, but she prayed that Mother would win.
* * *
“Ah, ah....”
Gepettina suddenly began fumbling around like a madwoman, then immediately pulled out her mana threads and threw open the door to her private workshop.
“M-Mother? What happened to that roulette thing...?”
“Pinocchia! Get ready right now! Clothes off first!”
Whoosh!
Thanks to Gepettina’s dazzling Mana Thread Manipulation, Pinocchia’s clothes came off in an instant.
“Eek!”
Before she could even blink, Pinocchia had changed into a new outfit.
“M-Mother? What is this outfit? I’ve never seen anything like it before....”
“It’s the same kind of clothing as the master you’ll serve from now on.”
“...!”
“It means I won!”
“Eeeek! What do I do?!”
“Hehehe! I can flex too now!”
Mother Gepettina hugged Pinocchia as she said something incomprehensible.
Because of their height difference, Gepettina had to stand on tiptoe just to barely reach Pinocchia’s chest, but a hug was still a hug.
After holding each other tightly for a while, Gepettina pulled away.
“Pinocchia, lower yourself for a moment.”
“Yes, Mother.”
Pinocchia crouched down and met Mother’s gaze.
Gepettina carefully tidied Pinocchia’s hair with her soft hands, then caressed her cheek.
“Mother....”
“Pinocchia, my masterpiece, my masterwork, my daughter. You’re so beautiful.”
Not a trace remained of the strange behavior she had shown earlier.
Puppetmaster.
The mother of all dolls stood there.
“Pinocchia. The truth is, I’ve spent an incredible amount of time with you. More than I ever told you.”
“Of course, Mother! Ever since you made me in the Ark, we’ve spent our whole lives together...”
“No. We have spent an amount of time together that Pinocchia cannot even imagine.”
“Um, yes?”
“Hehe. You don’t need to know. What matters is the master Pinocchia will meet.”
Her master!
Before Pinocchia could ask what Mother meant by spending so much time together, her artificial brain and soul immediately turned their attention to her master.
“Ah! My master! What kind of person is my master?!”
Gepettina thought for a moment before speaking.
“The master Pinocchia will serve is an amazing person.”
“Really? H-How are they amazing?”
Pinocchia could not hide her excitement.
Gepettina carefully watched the color of Pinocchia’s chest.
A vivid pink that represented joy and excitement.
It was a coincidence that the feature reflecting emotions directly in the core had been developed.
Pinocchia was a pure decisive battle weapon incapable of lying.
Gepettina considered how to explain the newbie, then decided to simply describe him as he was.
“He’s a man who doesn’t know how to give up.”
“So my master is a man! Wow! What a relief!”
“Please pay more attention to the part about not giving up.”
“Yes!”
“And... he is always positive. So positive that watching him will truly surprise you.”
“A positive master!”
“And lastly....”
Remembering Amor Fati’s strange behavior, Gepettina let out a small laugh.
Pinocchia’s eyes widened at the sight.
At the same time, orange, the color of surprise, mixed into her core.
Mother had smiled faintly before, but she had never openly burst into laughter like this.
“He’s strange. Really strange, but that is part of his charm. So, Pinocchia, I hope you serve your master well from now on. That world has the sky and sun you have longed for.”
That was when it happened.
Trill, trill.
Pinocchia floated into the air and became trapped inside a bubble.
Gepettina recognized this Monolith-specific effect at a glance.
“Ah... Mother!”
“Relax. You’ll meet your master soon.”
Pinocchia looked at her mother, Gepettina.
The automaton who possessed a soul instinctively realized that this might be the last moment she spent with her mother.
“Mother!”
But as if she understood every one of Pinocchia’s worries, Gepettina answered.
“Don’t worry, Pinocchia. It may take a long time, but we will definitely meet again. So...”
Trill, trill.
As the bubble gradually became transparent, Pinocchia’s presence began to fade as well.
Gepettina waved her soft hand as she saw Pinocchia off.
“Have a good trip.”
“M-Mother! I’ll be back!”
In an instant, the world turned upside down.
Flash!
For the first time in her life, Pinocchia opened her eyes on a vast grassland.
‘Ah... ah?!’
It was soft.
Swish, swish.
When she ran her hand across the ground, plants that were incredibly rare even in the Ark covered the land all around her!
A grassland stretching endlessly into the distance.
An overwhelming freshness she could feel through the air filter installed in her lungs.
And beyond the horizon, shyly revealing itself... a sunset!
“Wow....”
Pinocchia stared blankly at the sight for a long time before turning her head at the sound of someone nearby.
“Ah!”
There stood the master she had longed for so desperately, the one Mother had told her about.
“My master!”
The moment Pinocchia saw him, she felt the core in her chest throb.
He was different.
On another level.
‘H-His core is purer than Mother’s!’
Pinocchia, the decisive battle weapon.
Seeing the purity of the core lodged in her master’s heart, her mouth fell open.
It was a level above even Gepettina, who was called the mother of all dolls.
The qualified person Mother had always spoken of.
That was the master standing before her.
‘Ah, Mother! I understand now!’
But Pinocchia only had time to marvel at her master briefly.
Seemingly fascinated, he examined Pinocchia from every angle before opening his mouth.
“!#%!#$?!#!”
“Huh? Master, I can’t understand what you’re saying!”
“??!$@!@$???$!??”
“U-Um... I was never taught words like this....”
It seemed they had a communication problem.
Footnotes:
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