WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 21: I Think I’m Going Insane
──────
I proved whether the Three Hopeless Brothers were pathetic or I was pathetic through the results.
What, I was acting awfully confident for someone with thirty-nine losses and one win?
The answer was simple.
The one standing at the end was the true winner.
‘Yeah, you guys suck so bad~’
The moment I won, the regression point became fixed.
Thirty-nine losses?
Those timelines... never existed in the first place, did they?
In this timeline, only my one victory would be recorded.
“Haaah.”
This was exhilarating.
A clear after a grueling ten-month journey!
My dried-out brain plunged headfirst into a sea of dopamine.
It felt like I had been rewarded for all those long months of oppression and humiliation in a single instant.
“Right. I lived for this moment!”
I basked in the afterglow for a while, savoring the feeling.
By the time the overwhelming pleasure of clearing the stage had died down, a Monolith message appeared before my eyes.
[Settlement Complete.]
[You have cleared Stage 1 of Infinity Difficulty.]
[Infinity Difficulty does not award Clear Points.]
[Upon clearing Infinity Difficulty, the Extinction Timer resets immediately.]
[Rewards will be granted.]
-A-rank mana stone.
-All stats greatly increased.
-A-rank Skill Jewel.
After that, an unnecessarily long message was even sent to Players across the country, informing them that Korea’s Infinity Difficulty Awakened had cleared Floor 1.
Of course, the rewards did not end there.
If I got rewards from the Monolith, it was only natural that I would get rewards from the Infinite Regression Gallery too.
[You have overcome the trial!]
[You receive 20P Shop Points!]
[The second special feature is unlocked!]
[80% until the second special feature unlocks!]
“See? All I have to do is climb the Tower!”
That brought my Shop Points up to 70P.
I felt really bad for Dundo, but whoever won this trade would be able to go on one hell of a shopping spree.
Of course, I was not planning to blow all my points on this trade. I intended to keep some points in reserve from now on too.
‘When it’s Dundo’s turn next time, I’ll send her a whole set of instant food.’
Honestly, I had received an item that was way too valuable in exchange for three Chocolate Bars.
Besides, seeing her still happily flexing those three Chocolate Bars made me feel a little proud too.
Anyway, reward time was over.
Now it was time to turn my attention back to the real Monolith rewards.
Flash!
A brilliant white glow gathered, and a mana stone and Skill Jewel landed in my hand.
“Ooh.”
The mana stone did not need much explanation, so I would skip that.
The important things were the stats and Skill Jewel.
“All stats greatly increased, huh.”
I immediately clenched my fist.
After putting down the mana stone and Skill Jewel, of course.
Squeeze.
It was not as dramatic a change as when I made a core with an S-rank mana stone during the Tutorial.
“This is vague.”
This felt less like a major increase and more like a minor one.
I had expected it to some degree.
This S-rank Core was just absurdly overpowered.
Still, unlike Normal Difficulty, which gave small random stat increases, this gave a major increase to all stats. If it kept accumulating, it would become a foundation I could not ignore.
It was a long-term growth method that would let me grow slowly but steadily, so the corners of my mouth rose on their own.
There was just one thing.
One small disappointment.
“It would’ve been nice if it gave clear numbers.”
The Monolith knew how to keep up with the times, but there was one flaw.
It did not support a stat window.
Maybe that was part of its creator’s philosophy.
Rather than playing around with insignificant numbers, it wanted me to test things myself.
“Tch.”
I was really good at analyzing character stat windows too.
Anyway, I no longer needed to make strategies around my stats, so that was enough of that.
Next was the Skill Jewel.
“An A-rank Skill Jewel.”
Unlike the bumpy mana stone, I licked the golden A-rank Skill Jewel, which shone with a smooth luster.
Lick.
Hmm.
It was not a tasty stone.
I wiped away my saliva and turned the dazzling Skill Jewel over in my hands.
“Finally!”
I had grown with help from the Infinite Regression Gallery users, but when it came down to it, I had been playing as an irregular.
Your original class was decided the moment you Awakened.
I had become an Infinite Regressor, a kind of hidden class.
That meant I had not received the starting job skills normally given at the beginning.
But?
With this A-rank Skill Jewel?
It meant I could at least decide on a character concept and think about my growth direction.
I had not been flitting back and forth between the martial arts faction and mage faction for nothing.
My final goal was to become an absurdly well-rounded character, but it was still better to set my direction with a Skill Jewel.
‘Skill Jewels make you stronger immediately.’
In deck-building card game terms, I would establish my deck’s main concept with the Skill Jewel and use the Infinite Regression Gallery users’ knowledge as support.
I would open this once I got home.
‘The moment you open a Skill Jewel, you pass out for nearly four hours.’
In other words, if I opened it here, the trade feature I had just earned would be useless.
I activated the trade feature and summoned the roulette wheel.
Then I opened the Infinite Regression Gallery and shared the good news with the users.
I smiled as I watched the comment section heat up.
Then the roulette wheel began spinning automatically.
“Alright, here we go~”
After downgrading all of my core’s enhancement functions, I fixed my gaze on the spinning roulette wheel.
“The likely winners are still the same!”
Solo Hero, who had all kinds of divine relic weapons.
Archmage, who had a customized elixir ready.
And Puppetmaster, with her automaton!
Martial God said they were still developing an Elixir of Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons, so they were not an immediate winner.
Had Archmage also said his knowledge of poison was not that deep?
He could make an elixir that granted immunity to a thousand poisons rather than ten thousand, but since he had other good elixirs, it made more sense for Martial God to prepare the Elixir of Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons.
Of course, the other Infinite Regression Gallery users would not send me useless items, but these were the ones I could understand and use right away.
Honestly, even after hearing the explanations, Heretic Exterminator’s holy relic, Vampire Princess’s blood, and Poisoned My Blade’s artificial-organ kit still felt a little strange to me.
Anyway, the die had been cast!
Whirrrrr.
Round and round.
The dazzling colors swirled together for a long while.
Ding!
The slowing roulette wheel stopped, and the result appeared.
“I won! I won!”
I was so happy I could have jumped.
So I did jump up and down.
“Puppetmaster’s automaton!”
This was Puppetmaster’s masterpiece, made by Puppetmaster herself, a puppeteer at the very pinnacle of her craft.
Filled with anticipation, I informed the Gallery about the winner.
[The second trade winner iiiis-]
[Author: Amor Fati]
(Thumbnail of a stopped roulette wheel)
Puppeeeet-Masteeeer-
(A sticker of two bizarre characters clapping in succession)
ㄴSolo Hero*) Aaaaaaaaaah, fuck, that was so close!!! I was right next to it!!!!!!!
ㄴArchmage) Ngh. Failed again. Still, if it is Puppetmaster, then this is certainly a huge win. Congratulations to both of you.
ㄴVampire Princess) Waaaaah! Why! Why?! Newbie! Spin that roulette wheel with your finger at once! Can you not still spin it?
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Sister, that would be cheating.
ㄴVampire Princess) Ugh, ngh.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) HolyshitifitsPuppetmastersautomatonisthatPinocchiashewasalwaysbraggingabout?Newbiethisisseriouslyahugewin!Congratulations!!!
ㄴMartial God) Ha, now that I did not win, I am disappointed again lol
ㄴMartial God) But that really is a huge win. Newbie, you hit the jackpot.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) So the shit you were spouting about 100% odds was actually true?
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Where is Puppet? When do you think I will win?
ㄴSolo Hero*) Do you think it was real, idiot? It was obviously a joke.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Head mod, are you seriously still holding a grudge;;
ㄴAmor Fati) Congrats, congrats, congrats, congrats, congrats, congrats! Winner, please show up.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Hmph.
After briefly and forcefully sharing her thoughts on winning in the Infinite Regression Gallery, Puppetmaster sent me a trade message.
-Puppetmaster: Newbie, you might not know this, but the automaton I am sending you, Pinocchia, is the greatest masterpiece in my entire life as an Infinite Regressor.
-Amor Fati: O-oh, ooooooh!
Inside the square trade box was a cute humanoid figure.
A unique color scheme, with silver hair accented by blue lines.
A generally puppy-like face, more specifically one like a retriever’s, along with beautiful body lines that made it hard to look away.
Was this because she was an artist-type Infinite Regressor?
She possessed such overwhelming beauty that if a Renaissance master like Michelangelo saw her, he would have felt utterly outclassed and smashed his own sculptures.
“This is insane...”
I had seen countless summoner classes in the first run, but this was truly unprecedented.
She had said it herself. This was the greatest creation of her entire life as an Infinite Regressor.
I wanted to meet Pinocchia as soon as possible, so I asked Puppetmaster if there was anything she wanted.
-Amor Fati: You know I got a lot more points this time, right? Aside from some points I need to save for Dundo later, pick something around 60 points.
-Puppetmaster: You said your world has something like doll-making, right? I want that.
-Amor Fati: Oh, the thing you mentioned before? Are you sure?
-Puppetmaster: Yeah, I already made up my mind. Thanks so much for worrying about me. But my regression routine is very stable, so I feel kind of bad asking anything from you...
“If that’s the case, then sure.”
I operated the shop window and selected the item Puppetmaster wanted.
It cost more than I expected, so I spent my points cleanly, leaving only ten points for the future Dundo fund.
The item was the doll-making kit from my world that Puppetmaster had mentioned.
In technical terms, it was a G*ndam model kit.
I was about to press Trade Complete immediately.
-Puppetmaster: Newbie, wait a moment. Give me a little time.
Hmm.
It was a beloved masterpiece, after all.
I could understand her wanting time to say goodbye.
-Amor Fati: We have plenty of time. Take your time wrapping things up.
-Puppetmaster: Thanks.
I rolled the Skill Jewel around in my pocket while I waited for her farewell.
-Puppetmaster: Newbie, I am ready now.
Once I pressed Trade Complete, the square box shifted position and the trade ended.
Ding!
-Trade Complete!
Then Pinocchia, the automaton trapped in an air bubble, floated gently through the air.
-Please receive your product!
“This is insane in person.”
People always said celebrities looked even more incredible in person.
I understood now.
Seeing her in 2D and seeing her in 3D were worlds apart.
Pop!
When I burst the bubble, Pinocchia, who had been sleeping with her eyes closed like a princess, opened them.
‘Oh...’
She touched the grass, took a deep breath of air, and stared for a long time at the sunset hanging beyond the horizon.
I gave her time.
How should I put it?
She felt like a puppy seeing the outside world for the first time.
After she stood absentmindedly gazing over the grassland for a long while.
“!”
She sensed my presence and turned around.
‘You’re finally looking at me.’
Pinocchia’s blue eyes sparkled brightly as she opened her mouth.
“!@#?>!@”
Then an incomprehensible language I had never heard before burst from her mouth.
“W-what did you say?”
“!@? !@#!@# !@#!#%!#@!”
“No, why isn’t the IRG translation feature working??”
“!%!#$······!@#$!@$%!#······.”
Uh...
‘I guess I need to contact the creator for customer support?’
With that final thought, the dagger, Pinocchia, and I were expelled from the Tower.
* * *
[The language patch is not installed...]
[Author: Amor Fati]
(Thumbnail of Amor Fati and Pinocchia using all kinds of body language)
The Infinite Regression Gallery translation feature does not work...
What do I do?
ㄴPuppetmaster) Do not worry too much about that.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Once she learns your world’s language, she will be patched up quickly.
ㄴAmor Fati) Learns? Should I keep talking to her? She does seem to repeat what I say like a parrot.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Then it will take a while. The best thing is to take her somewhere like a plaza or park and let her listen to the people talking around her. Leave her alone for three or four hours, and she will learn it herself.
ㄴAmor Fati) Ah okay okay, got it.
After getting Puppetmaster’s customer support, I stared at Pinocchia.
“Maaaster!”
“Yeah, yeah. Wait a moment.”
I thought for a while.
‘Take her to a park or plaza?’
No way.
That was just asking for something serious to happen.
She was already babbling in an incomprehensible language while touching this and that in my house.
One wrong move and people would think she was a crazy woman with flowers in her hair.
‘Anyway, the conclusion is that she only needs to learn lots of conversation.’
Besides, I needed to check my Skill Jewel too.
I needed to teach her some conversation first and give her a basic understanding of my world before we could go outside.
I pointed at the Skill Jewel, computer, and clock while gesturing wildly.
“Skill Jewel! If I use this, I pass out! Four! Four! Four hours! During that time, Pinocchia does that! Language! Mouth! Learn!”
“Yes! Maaaster! Command! !%#%!$! Ahh~! Mouth! !@#%! Learn!”
Good.
She seemed to roughly understand, judging by the fact that she pointed at her mouth.
I turned on the computer and opened YouTube.
“She’ll probably figure it out and learn on her own.”
Leaving Pinocchia behind as she searched through YouTube with sparkling eyes fixed on the screen, I lay on my bed and crushed the Skill Jewel with my grip strength.
[You have used a Skill Jewel.]
[You may select one of three A-rank skills.]
“I think they said it was harder to retry a selection system than a random reward system, unlike mana stones?”
It felt a little strange.
Like I had abused a bug in a game, the S-rank mana stone retry, and it got patched immediately afterward.
Well, I would learn more as I regressed, so it was not urgent.
The important thing was that it was time to choose my proper character concept.
With the sensation of my consciousness being sucked away, I fell unconscious.
* * *
It was a virtual space similar to the inside of the Tower, but slightly different.
Three choices floated before me.
[1. Elemental Affinity]
[Passive]
[Affinity with all elemental mana greatly increases.]
[No mana consumption]
[Penalty: Physical abilities decrease greatly in proportion to stats.]
[2. Heavy Strike]
[Active]
[Cast a powerful strike.]
[High mana consumption]
[Penalty: None]
[3. Split Thought]
[Active]
[You can split your consciousness and think.]
[Continuous mana consumption]
[Penalty: None]
“Let’s see.”
First, Elemental Affinity.
This was a mage-type skill.
This was the reward Thunder Emperor Han Siyeon had received for clearing a Hard Difficulty boss.
“It’s an insanely overpowered passive.”
The moment I took it, I would be locked into the mage route.
Archmage would probably jump for joy.
But the final line was the key.
A quintessential high-risk, high-return passive.
Even if this was the moment to decide my character concept, the massive decrease in physical stats was too concerning.
If it just said they would greatly decrease, I would have taken it without hesitation. But I needed to focus on the fact that the decrease was proportional to my stats.
“If I take that, I’ll be frail forever.”
Regretfully, pass.
If it had been an elemental skill on the level of the Thunderstorm that Thunder Emperor Han Siyeon got early on, maybe.
But the risk was too high to build my character concept around this alone.
“Then the second one.”
Heavy Strike.
A staple skill for monk classes that used martial arts, especially fists.
“You throw a spear.”
Short and simple. How nice.
Still, this was not a skill I liked much either.
Monks had soared through the early parts of Normal Difficulty thanks to this skill, but I remembered humanity falling into despair at the Orc Chieftain.
“This thing is already past its expiration date...”
An even bigger trap than the first skill.
Naturally, pass.
That left only one skill to draw my attention.
“Split Thought?”
It was not an attack skill I could use right away, and it was unusual for a mental skill to be active.
I had never even known a skill like this existed.
“This won’t give me some kind of mental illness, right?”
Still, the Penalty: None written beneath it was enticing.
“Wait a second.”
I had felt it while learning curse defense magic from Archmage.
Magic was truly mysterious.
“Could I use that to buy casting time?”
The advanced magic processes, property conversion and incantations.
Through these two techniques, miracles were forged using the energy called mana as material. That was magic.
But its weakness was the casting time.
An unavoidable delay even Thunder Emperor Han Siyeon could not escape.
It was easiest to think of it as molding pottery from mana through intense concentration.
I had nearly gone insane trying to cast defense magic exactly when that Orc Shaman used its curse.
In that sense, this was exactly the skill I needed right now.
Considering how my brain had nearly overheated from Mana Thread Manipulation, footwork, and curse defense magic.
“Is this... unbelievably good?”
Even its upper limit was not inferior to Elemental Affinity, the first option.
“If I assume I learn the head mod’s swordsmanship too?”
Would that not make me an overpowered character who could wield mythical swordsmanship while firing off ninth-circle magic?
“This is crazy.”
I found it.
The completion of a world where no one got hurt!
There was no reason for the martial arts faction and mage faction to fight!
“I’m a genius.”
Of course, the Tower deserved the most credit for giving me this skill.
Still, I was the one who avoided the trash skills and picked the overpowered one, right?
I selected the third skill and decided my path.
From the very beginning.
There was no rule that said I had to walk only one path.
“Let’s go, magic swordsman!”
Magic swordsman Amor Fati.
Now, I was going to train in swordsmanship.
Flash!
I sat up.
And instinctively, I knew.
Just as I could open the Infinite Regression Gallery, I could turn Split Thought on and off!
“Let’s test it right away.”
I immediately activated the Split Thought skill.
Then, with a strange sensation like something kneading my brain, my consciousness split in two.
‘This isn’t really going to turn me into a lunatic, right?’
‘It seems fine for now.’
‘It’s the Monolith.’
‘True. If the Monolith says there’s no penalty, then there’s no penalty.’
“Still, this is that thing. You know.”
“An angel and a devil?”
“Yeah, that.”
“As expected of me. We think alike.”
Clap!
‘Fuck!’
Startled out of my mind, I covered my mouth and hurriedly turned off the skill.
‘That was fucking terrifying. What the hell.’
There really was no penalty, right?
I could not find an answer by worrying about it alone.
Was this not exactly what the Infinite Regression Gallery was for?
Sweating coldly, I hurriedly opened the Infinite Regression Gallery.
Footnotes:
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