WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 29: Second Floor
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The scenery all around me changed in an instant.
I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, then opened them.
[Welcome to Floor 2.]
[Floor 2 will begin once you leave the Safe Zone.]
[Defeat the enemy within the time limit and rescue the NPC.]
[30:00]
[Failure Penalty: Death]
The Monolith’s familiar interface.
There was nothing better for blowing away my complicated thoughts.
“Haaa!”
I turned on the Infinite Regression Gallery recording function and stared at the Monolith’s messages.
Floor 2 was different. Totally different!
“Thirty minutes?”
Even the three Orc Brothers had only given me ten minutes.
What the hell was waiting for me that they were giving me thirty minutes?
And I had to rescue an NPC too!
“I love rescue missions!”
I had fully cleared every game in that series where you rescued Princess Peach as a mustached plumber.
“This is getting serious, Monolith.”
A one-on-one boss fight, a many-against-one action battle, and now a rescue mission?
Maybe there would be puzzle or mystery genres later, too?
I didn’t know, but if it was something the Monolith offered, I would love it.
Anyway, unlike the Tutorial and Floor 1, the addition of an NPC rescue mission meant there was a story now!
“God-tier game. This is a god-tier game...”
How could I not love the Monolith?
I resolved not to retire as quickly as I had in the Tutorial and on Floor 1.
‘I’ve learned to appreciate fine dining now, is what I’m saying.’
The Orc Chieftain’s club swings and surprise boulders.
Those wouldn’t work on me anymore.
No matter what kind of full-course meal the Monolith served, I was confident I wouldn’t panic!
‘Thank you, Pinocchia!’
Thanks to Pinocchia diligently acting as a mana humidifier, my total mana capacity was now incomparable to what it had been before.
Put bluntly, I could tear apart an orc’s hide with mana release alone.
‘And I learned a useful defensive spell, too.’
The core runaway problem had been solved as well.
There was no longer any risk in fully handling the S-rank Core’s mana.
So first, activate Split Thought.
“Ready, Lee Han-gyeol?”
“Of course, Amor Fati.”
I pumped mana through my body, drew the Black Iron Sword, and stepped out of the Safe Zone.
Whoosh!
The surroundings changed in an instant.
First, I fixed mana into the mana circuits in my lower body.
At the same time, I immediately scanned the area, ready to use my footwork against any ambush.
The scenery around me was no longer grassland.
‘What is this place?’
Medieval fantasy-style buildings filled my view.
The problem was that they were all practically ruins.
It looked like a fire had swept through the area.
And judging by the embers still crackling here and there, it didn’t seem like an ordinary fire.
“Ugh.”
I frowned.
‘What is that disgusting smell?’
It was an awful stench entirely unlike the impurities that had come out of my body.
The kind of smell your instincts told you to avoid.
Using one of my split selves, I spread my energy sense and searched the area.
For now, I couldn’t feel any signs of life, such as heartbeats or faint flows of mana.
‘Is the NPC I need to rescue not here?’
Without lowering my guard, I lifted a piece of nearby rubble.
Then a burned corpse too horrible to look at was revealed.
“Blech.”
That was awful.
This was probably what someone would look like if they got fried in an air fryer.
What kind of backstory had there been here?
I was curious for only a moment.
Then I decided to focus on the mission.
This floor’s mission was to find and deal with whoever had created this mess, then rescue the NPC somewhere around here.
“Okay, let’s get moving.”
I immediately began searching through the surrounding wreckage.
Zip, zip, zip!
Even after extending five mana threads to search through the rubble.
Rumble.
“Hmm. I don’t see any hidden spaces like a basement, either.”
Even after condensing and fixing mana in my legs to leap around.
“It’s huge!”
Neither the enemy on this floor nor the NPC I needed to rescue was anywhere in sight.
‘Is this a floor where finding them is the real problem?’
I had focused on learning combat techniques, and now it gave me a floor that required searching ability.
The Monolith really was amazing.
But my blind Monolith stanning had to stop there.
‘Hey, dodge!’
One of my split selves, which had spread its energy sense to watch for unexpected dangers, warned me.
I didn’t know what it was, but the instant I twisted my body and jumped far away.
Boom!
A massive mace flew in and buried itself right where I had been standing.
Rubble flew everywhere as a result.
‘Shield!’
‘Got it!’
Another one of my selves stopped searching with energy sense and drew mana from the core.
Whooom.
A hard mana barrier, its Property Transformation complete as it moved from my heart through my arm and palm, spread out before me.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
Wood splinters, bits of stone, and pieces of corpses flew everywhere, but thankfully I had raised the barrier in time and was unharmed.
‘If only I had a support in bot lane who protected me like this!’
That pointless thought lasted only a moment.
I looked toward where I had been standing.
‘It was definitely a mace.’
The weapon looked like an enlarged Chupa Ch*ps.
I couldn’t see much through the dust cloud, but one thing was certain. The enemy I had to fight was no ordinary size.
Its silhouette was big enough to give the Orc Chieftain a good fight.
I prepared myself completely.
As the dust cloud kicked up by the debris settled, the enemy’s identity was revealed.
There was no need for a detailed description.
That heavily armored knight was designed to scream, “I’m a paladin!”
What more needed to be said when there was a huge golden cross embedded in its chest?
If it had been a monster, I would have thrown my dagger immediately.
But this floor’s enemy was humanoid. Maybe we could communicate.
That meant I could see how it reacted before entering combat.
‘You can only play the Monolith once! Per week!’
So shouldn’t I savor it as much as possible?
Like sommeliers cramming wine into their mouths, I was ready to chew, tear apart, and taste the story the Monolith had prepared.
Of course, I also wanted to get information about the NPC I had to rescue.
Anyway, I raised my tension to its limit, ready to strike at any moment, and waited for it to speak.
The paladin put the massive mace on its shoulder, glared at me, and opened its mouth.
“You damned demon. To think you were still here.”
“Huh? Me? I’m human.”
“Your wicked attire, and that savage aura lodged in your heart. You dare speak such feeble lies.”
“Excuse me, but I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I didn’t cause this disaster.”
The paladin smirked in response.
“Ha! Are you disappointed that every sacrifice you meant to devour has been purified?”
Apparently, this was not the kind of character that could communicate.
Before I had a chance to explain, the paladin strode toward me, stepping over corpses and building rubble.
“I will purify you as I did these villagers, disgusting demon.”
“What?”
This crazy bastard.
I thought it had mistaken me for the one responsible for this disaster.
‘It was the one that did all this?’
This guy was completely insane.
The paladin immediately raised its massive mace high.
“O Sun!!!”
Fwoooosh!
A blazing golden light gathered around the mace.
I knew the moment I saw it.
That was the technique that had turned the village into this mess.
In other words, if I got hit, I would become Corpse Number One among this rubble!
‘I’m definitely not waiting around.’
I cleanly gave up on trying to learn anything through conversation.
I hadn’t gotten any information about the NPC I needed to rescue, but dealing with this bastard came first.
Whoosh!
I immediately extended a mana thread and threw the Snake Dagger.
Slash!
The mace’s handle was cleanly severed.
“What?!”
Its eyes widened at once.
‘Why? Did you think I was only a melee fighter because I carry a sword?’
I might not be able to fire sword energy, but I had mid-range attacks too.
Fortunately, Martial God’s prediction and mine had been correct.
Martial God had told me to always hide at least thirty percent of my skill, and I believed it was good to always have a trump card.
Anyway, it was common sense that the caster had to endure the backlash if their casting was interrupted halfway through.
“Ghk!”
Hummmmmm.
The mace head was about to explode.
The paladin immediately kicked the brightly glowing mace head lying on the ground away.
Not long after, the mace head literally exploded in the distance, radiating tremendous heat.
Of course, I wasn’t going to stand around and watch.
Whoosh!
The moment it spent its turn kicking, I closed the distance explosively and drove the Black Iron Sword into the shoulder of its armor.
Crunch!
“Gaaah!”
The instant I completely disabled its right arm, I retrieved the dagger with a mana thread.
Whoosh!
At the same time, I tore apart its armor with the Armor Break I had finished casting and stored.
Craaaack!
The battle ended in an instant.
I stepped on the paladin’s exposed chest, gripped the Black Iron Sword in a reverse grip, and aimed it at its throat.
Thud.
For the record, I didn’t hesitate or anything.
‘No matter how I look at it, this doesn’t seem like the end.’
It wasn’t someone I could talk to.
And I hadn’t found the NPC I needed to rescue.
If possible, I needed to get through Phase 2 quickly and find the NPC.
Crunch!
I drove the Black Iron Sword straight into the paladin’s neck.
The distinct sensation of its neck bones shattering.
It died.
‘If it were an ordinary human, anyway.’
The paladin twitched in postmortem spasms.
As soon as the spasms ended, I pulled out the Black Iron Sword and backed away a good distance.
Then I pumped as much mana as possible into every mana circuit in my body and waited.
‘I want to clear this on my first try if I can.’
What if it really was over now?
Maybe I had been underestimating my own strength.
What if that paladin had actually been stronger than the three Orc Brothers combined?
The paladin was dead, and now I only needed to find and rescue the NPC, then hear them thank me for saving them?
‘If I really clear it on my first try, then Pinocchia waiting at home and...’
That was when it happened.
The paladin that should have been dead moved its mouth.
It was too far away to hear clearly.
“Sol... stel... watch over us...”
Fwoooosh!
Horrifying black tentacles burst from the abdomen of the paladin that should have been a corpse and began wrapping around it.
Shrrrraak!
“Fuck!”
I knew it!
I knew it was a fallen paladin just by looking at it!
Fortunately, I had already prepared for Phase 2.
The paladin, violated by tentacles, charged at me.
“This is the blessing of God! Die, you demon!”
“You crazy bastard! Anyone can see that you’re the demon here!”
I immediately used my footwork and swung the Black Iron Sword.
Clang!
‘What kind of toughness is that?!’
The tentacles covering its entire body were ridiculously tough.
“Ghaaaah!”
Whoosh!
It swung its fists wildly.
Boom! Boom!
For the record, those boom, boom sounds?
They were just air bursts.
It was punching empty space hard enough to create sonic booms!
But I wasn’t surprised by that kind of thing anymore.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!
My Heaven-Shaking Mad Steps had evolved another level through the past week of training.
I smoothly avoided its attacks with unpredictable footwork.
“You monkey-like demon!”
It gave me high praise.
That was only natural, since its attack trajectories were as straightforward as an orc’s.
That made them perfect for avoiding with Heaven-Shaking Mad Steps.
Whoosh, whoosh!
“Kraaaah!”
I used my footwork several more times, committing its patterns to memory.
“Ah, I get it now. I know your level.”
It was pretty much an upgraded Orc Chieftain.
My parries were perfect.
That meant it was only natural to start dealing damage now.
Hummmmm!
I burned mana to store Armor Break whenever I had an opening, steadily piling on damage.
Crack!
“Kraaaagh!”
This Black Iron Sword had incredible mana conductivity.
There was mana loss when completing a spell and channeling it outward, but the Black Iron Sword minimized that loss.
Thanks to that, I could dish out enormous damage every time I cast Armor Break.
It had an entirely different, satisfying feel from the chip damage of throwing daggers and releasing mana!
Crack!
The tentacle armor peeled away bit by bit.
Calculating the time, I decided to push myself a little and deal more damage.
If things went really well.
I could see hope of clearing it on my first try this time.
I should hurry up, kill this bastard, and rescue the NPC.
“Release the princess!”
“What the fuck are you talking about, you demon bastard?!”
.
.
.
.
That had been a miscalculation.
My mana had completely run dry.
Just holding a sword and standing was genuinely my limit.
I couldn’t deal with the enemy, let alone rescue the target NPC.
“Huff, huff!”
Did I make a mistake because I pushed myself too hard trying to deal damage?
Was this some insane, frustrating plot development?
Sorry, but I didn’t expect this either.
“Graaaah...”
“Grrrraaaah...”
“Purify...”
I had only assumed the enemy the Monolith mentioned was one paladin.
I had cut down the paladin a long time ago.
I shouted at the tentacle zombies charging toward me.
“Come at me, you fuckers.”
The burned corpses I had assumed were dead surrounded their bodies with black tentacles and approached me all at once.
A horde of tentacle zombies, each at least one-tenth as strong as the paladin.
“Be soaked in God’s blessing and purified...”
“Let there be blessings...”
With the Black Iron Sword in one hand.
And Mana Thread Manipulation in the other, I faced the horde.
This moment was thrilling too, but there was one thing.
Ever since becoming a Monolith Player, there had been just one thing.
I couldn’t help feeling regret.
‘I really thought I’d clear it on my first try this time.’
It was probably because of Pinocchia, who was likely waiting at home.
“Grrrraaaah...”
“Be purified...”
The tentacle zombies steadily drove me into a corner.
“Hah! Hah!”
Thud.
My escape route was blocked by rubble.
There was nowhere left to retreat.
I stared at those wriggling tentacles, cold sweat running down my face.
“Ahh, tentacle play is a bit much.”
Just before I was violated by tentacles, a Monolith message appeared before my eyes.
Flash!
[Time limit exceeded.]
[The failure penalty will be applied.]
[Failure Penalty: Death.]
Right. At least this time, it hadn’t ended pointlessly on my first attempt.
That could be considered a remarkable achievement.
‘Next time, I should go toward the direction the mace came from first.’
Naturally, I would get feedback from the Infinite Regression Gallery too.
I only had a moment to revise my strategy.
Then, with the sensation of darkness closing in around me, I met my death.
It was the first regression I had experienced since meeting Pinocchia.
Footnotes:
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