WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 4: Mana Stone Gacha
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There’s a kind of game called VS.
Pour the sauce on, or dip it.
Runaway ninja, or toad sage.
Pizza for life, or ramen for life.
Ronaldo, or Messi.
They’re topics that always set communities on fire because they never reach an easy conclusion.
For the record, I’m on the dipping, runaway ninja, and pizza sides.
Pouring the sauce on is not something a human being should do.
In an eyeball-war manga, the guy with stronger eyeballs is stronger.
And pizza can be customized with toppings.
I’ll make no comment on Ronaldo versus Messi.
I don’t know much about soccer in the first place.
Anyway.
Even among these VS games, there was one debate with a long and storied tradition.
Dagger versus club.
I had been neutral.
Until I met the Orc Chieftain myself.
“Clubs are fucking broken.”
When a physical monster picked up a club, there was no reason to choose a dagger.
What was the advantage of a dagger?
Its reach was short, but it could deal massive critical-hit burst damage.
But when an orc wielded a club, even its basic attack became an insta-kill burst move.
For that green monster, dagger versus club had never even been a topic worthy of debate.
“-Snort. You die in one hit either way, snort. And you chose a dagger? You’re stupid!”
Wasn’t its large movement a problem?
Sorry, but in the face of overwhelming physical ability, armchair discussions about mysterious principles and attack trajectories meant very little.
‘Even if I see it, I can’t dodge it.’
That was the truth I’d realized after two attempts.
“Hmm.”
What was I supposed to do?
My conclusion was that with this body optimized for gaming, I couldn’t dodge the first attack no matter what I tried.
Block it?
Would that work?
Besides, the time limit was only ten minutes.
I couldn’t even evade its attacks, and I had to kill that monster within ten minutes.
Failing the tutorial wouldn’t exactly kill me, but if I couldn’t kill it, resetting was inevitable anyway.
“As expected of Infinity Difficulty. It was made so nobody could clear it.”
It felt like a game made by a developer whose sole goal was to screw over the players.
But who was I?
The fresh-faced newbie of the Infinite Regression Gallery.
Former pro gamer Lee Han-gyeol.
If monkeys with infinite time could write Shakespeare’s complete works, what could stop a human, the crown of creation?
What mattered was an unbreakable spirit.
With that in mind, I opened the gallery and made a post.
[Fuck, I can’t dodge this lol. Going for try three.]
[Posted by: Amor Fati]
(Thumbnail: My head getting gruesomely smashed)
First, let’s crack the opening pattern.
All right.
“Shall we go for try three!”
I was about to enter the Tower immediately.
Until I saw the comment that appeared at once.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Stop!
A word like magic, the kind that could freeze an entire classroom when shouted with firm determination.
I had no choice but to stop before the power contained in that word.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Newbie, at this rate you’ll still be in the same place after a thousand years. You can never dodge that at your level. Stop attempting it for now.
ㄴMartial God) Is this difficulty for real? I don’t think even a first-rate martial artist could do it.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Hey, hang in there.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Brother... sob
ㄴDungeon Rogue) (A mint-haired character wipes away tears with a handkerchief emote.)
ㄴArchmage) Hmm...
ㄴVampire Princess) It is time to accept the help of Puppet AI.
I see.
So it wasn’t merely difficult.
According to the head mod, I couldn’t dodge that attack even after a thousand years.
From what I’d experienced myself...
“That makes sense.”
I calmed down for a moment and waited for Puppetmaster’s comment.
The other gallery users also seemed to accept Puppetmaster’s claims as practically established fact.
Ding!
ㄴPuppetmaster) No need to run the numbers. The structure makes clearing it impossible.
“What!”
I jolted in surprise.
The difficulty wasn’t simply high?
In other words, the system itself had made clearing it impossible?
Fortunately, my guess was pleasantly wrong.
ㄴPuppetmaster) That is, assuming there is no intervention from us. So stop the meaningless attempts for now. They only wear down your mental strength.
“I thought you meant something else.”
ㄴAmor Fati) Okay okay, stopping for now
It meant that without intervention from the Infinite Regression Gallery, clearing it was impossible no matter how many times I tried.
A high difficulty and a system that made clearing impossible were different things.
But what if our gallery users helped me?
“Then it’s not impossible.”
ㄴPuppetmaster) Chances go up if we take the long view. What do Martial God and Archmage think?
ㄴSolo Hero*) Hey, why am I excluded?
ㄴPuppetmaster) The head mod’s mana cultivation method and swordsmanship are for geniuses only. Not happening.
ㄴMartial God) Ah, that really hurts my feelings.
ㄴArchmage) Ho ho ho, you damned woman.
ㄴPuppetmaster) You call it genius, but honestly, those are made for the head mod alone;;
ㄴPuppetmaster) And shouldn’t we help the newbie? What matters more, the newbie or your pride?
No, hold on.
“That hurts my feelings too!”
Wasn’t the head mod’s secret manual obviously the one with the highest potential?
And yet I’d already been judged an ordinary mortal.
ㄴAmor Fati) Why? You don’t know until you try, right?
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) LOL. What do you mean, you don’t know? The answer is obvious if you watch the initiation video.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) The head mod made their own mana cultivation method at eight because they said the kingdom-certified one was garbage.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) It’s all right, brother! If you work hard, you’ll gradually improve!
ㄴSolo Hero*) Hmm. Come to think of it, my mana cultivation method wouldn’t mean much. Still, don’t worry too much. Martial God’s talent was just ordinary too.
ㄴSolo Hero*) And from what I can see, your field of vision is already open. Not everyone can have that kind of perception.
ㄴArchmage) Ordinary, my ass! Feels like just yesterday he was spamming the gallery with “O heavens!” because he couldn’t surpass some third-rate martial artist from the streets!
ㄴMartial God) How long ago was that, fuck.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Enough chatter.
ㄴPuppetmaster) So. What do you two think?
Once Puppetmaster had sorted things out, the two regulars commented at the same time.
ㄴMartial God) What else is there to see? You said there was no qi, meaning mana, in the newbie’s world before the Tower appeared. And as the head mod said, their perception is naturally good. Then martial combat is the answer.
ㄴArchmage) It is regrettable, but given the setting of your world, martial combat seems right “for now.”
Seeing Archmage put quotation marks around “for now,” they seemed disappointed in their own way.
Seeing Archmage’s response, martial combat really did seem to be the answer for clearing the tutorial.
“Martial combat!”
So the traditional strength build was the answer after all?
Yes, even the orc gave me the answer.
Fight a strength build with a strength build!
ㄴAmor Fati) So what do I do now?
ㄴMartial God) Haha. First, let’s make a dantian.
ㄴAmor Fati) Meditation and breathing, that kind of thing?
ㄴMartial God) You know your stuff. I’ll explain it in more detail.
After that, Martial God taught me the dantian breathing method he said he’d developed himself.
Certainly.
It seemed slightly different from ordinary meditation in the details.
ㄴAmor Fati) But isn’t this just the same as regular meditation?
ㄴMartial God) Peerless techniques are made by the slightest differences, haha.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Martial God’s breathing method really is great for beginners. Learn it well.
“Is that so?”
Well.
To go from an ordinary celestial-tier player to a pro gamer, you needed those tiny details.
And it was normal for a Bronze player not to recognize them.
I sat cross-legged and focused my mind on a point around three centimeters below my navel, as Martial God instructed.
ㄴMartial God) Take a deep breath through your nose. Don’t think of it as simply drawing in air. Imagine gathering the qi flowing around you into your dantian.
Since mana had begun gradually spreading throughout the world after the Tower appeared...
“Hmm.”
I felt as if something subtly different from air was gradually collecting below my navel.
Or rather, I only felt like it was.
After meditating for about an hour, I was starting to get restless.
Wasn’t the area below my navel supposed to feel all tingly or something?
Even after an hour of meditation, nothing had changed.
I was just a young man breathing.
ㄴAmor Fati) Is this right? I seriously can’t feel anything.
ㄴMartial God) Of course not;; You said mana only just started spreading in your world.
ㄴAmor Fati) ? So I have to keep doing this?
ㄴMartial God) Yep. For around three years?
“What?”
ㄴAmor Fati) No, sir.
ㄴMartial God) What?
ㄴAmor Fati) You mean I’m supposed to do only this for three years?
ㄴMartial God) Awesome, right? Making a dantian in three years in a world with thin mana isn’t easy.
ㄴMartial God) It takes three years because I developed the breathing method myself.
“Hmm.”
Wasn’t that a bit much?
I had to shut myself away and do nothing but breathe for three years?
‘Where the hell is the absurd protagonist route where I monopolize a godly opportunity and grow for free?’
Of course, that was just my personal impression.
Strictly speaking, the dantian breathing method Martial God taught me was truly impressive.
It would let an ordinary person use martial arts.
Back in my day, if you didn’t receive an Awakening, you stayed ordinary for life.
So before judging too quickly, I decided to hear more.
ㄴAmor Fati) Hmm, I’m not convinced. Okay, after I make a dantian, what do I do?
ㄴMartial God) What do you mean, what? You break pottery.
ㄴArchmage) A solid foundation makes things easier later on.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Just close your eyes and make one ten times, haha.
ㄴMartial God) If it were up to me, I’d work you for a hundred years, but making one around ten times will build a useful foundation, yeah.
“What?”
My head hurt.
To the point that getting my head smashed by the orc seemed preferable.
I’d spent my whole life looking toward the Tower.
I’d only just obtained the qualifications of a player.
And I was supposed to endure again?
Repeat ten more lives?
Three years, ten times.
Thirty years?!
“That’s older than I am!”
There was a saying.
You’d endured this much already, so couldn’t you endure twice as much?
I completely disagreed.
You couldn’t endure it twice more precisely because you’d endured so much already.
ㄴAmor Fati) I don’t want to.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) LOL
ㄴVampire Princess) Agreed, and agreed again. Such are humans!
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Don’t you have a Status Window? Try shouting it once.
“Status Window!”
Of course, a Status Window didn’t miraculously appear.
If one had appeared too, I’d be looking at three windows now.
Unfortunately, I had to give up on the strength build.
What kind of strength build was a pro gamer?
An intelligence build suited me better.
ㄴAmor Fati) Magic. I’m going with magic. Because magic is open to everyone.
ㄴMartial God) ;;
ㄴArchmage) Kekeke. As a foundation, a mage’s core is indeed better than a martial artist’s dantian. Unfortunately, it is impossible.
“No, why!”
ㄴAmor Fati) Why!!!!
ㄴArchmage) Why do you think I recommended martial combat? A knight’s aura hole or a martial artist’s dantian can be made by anyone who knows the method.
ㄴArchmage) You may even make them bigger and stronger depending on your own ability.
ㄴAmor Fati) What is different about a mage’s core?
ㄴArchmage) You must either be born with a mage’s bloodline or force one open with an elixir.
ㄴArchmage) And neither has anything to do with skill. A good bloodline or good elixir becomes a sturdy foundation for a core.
“A mage’s bloodline?”
That was excluded right away.
I didn’t know who my parents were, but they were definitely Muggles.
ㄴAmor Fati) So I just need to take an elixir in the end?
ㄴArchmage) You know nothing. Did you not say mana itself didn’t even exist in your world until the Tower appeared?
ㄴAmor Fati) Yep, that’s right.
ㄴArchmage) How could such a world have elixirs? You need spiritual herbs that have grown for at least fifty years where the flow of mana gathers.
ㄴMartial God) Newbie, just so you know, that old man’s standards for elixirs are different from ours, haha.
ㄴMartial God) It’s still faster to open a dantian than use an elixir. A mana cultivation method isn’t much different from making a dantian anyway.
ㄴArchmage) Regrettably, that fool is right. Ordinary elixirs are useless for turning an ordinary person into a mage. It would be better for you to spend the time making a dantian.
“Haa.”
In the end, time was the answer.
This was driving me crazy.
What if I made a dantian in the morning and entered the Tower in the evening?
No, it was meaningless.
According to Martial God, it would take at least three years to establish the foundation of a dantian.
The moment I entered the Tower, regression was guaranteed.
As befitted Infinity Difficulty, failure meant instant death.
A frustrating situation where I could do neither one thing nor the other.
Then suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind.
ㄴAmor Fati) Wait, wait. I have a question.
ㄴArchmage) What is it?
ㄴAmor Fati) You said making an elixir requires spiritual herbs grown where mana flows gather.
ㄴArchmage) Correct.
ㄴAmor Fati) Then what about a mana stone that is just purely condensed mana?
ㄴArchmage) The fact that such a mana stone can hold mana in solid form is itself a miracle, but that would be difficult as well.
ㄴAmor Fati) Why why?
ㄴArchmage) Its purity is too low. Purity is what matters.
“This is it!!!”
ㄴAmor Fati) Can I make a core with a mana stone that is ninety-nine percent pure?
ㄴArchmage) If such a mana stone existed, I would have told you to make a core at once.
“Woohoo!”
It could be done!
This could be done!
As expected, intelligence builds were better than strength builds!
Long live magic, long live magic, long long live magic!
ㄴAmor Fati) Newbie’s gonna get one. Wait.
ㄴArchmage) Impossible. The result of that ticket is already fixed.
ㄴMartial God) Ah, hey! Do you think we never tried that? It might be different with gambling influenced by humans, but once those probabilities are observed, they become fixed! I’m telling you, just make a dantian!
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Itriedreclaimingmystatuswindowrewardsbutitwaspointless
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) You think that’ll work? lol
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) I will pray for you, brother!
ㄴPuppetmaster) 0%
ㄴVampire Princess) (A vampire character grins in the most irritating way possible.)
ㄴSolo Hero*) No. Try it first. You never know.
ㄴVampire Princess) You are the most malicious one of all...
ㄴSolo Hero*) I mean it.
The head mod was right.
You didn’t know until you tried.
Why did super plays happen?
When everyone else pinged danger, you needed the courage to go in alone for a super play to happen.
Besides, according to Archmage, if such a mana stone existed, I should make a core immediately.
My chance to monopolize a godly opportunity was still alive.
“I guess I’ll have to show them what a rerolling montage is.”
The minimum requirement for launch clearance was an S-rank mana stone with ninety-nine percent purity.
Now, it was time to reroll.
“Enter!”
.
.
.
.
“Skip, skip, skip!”
I didn’t need any of it. Just give me the ticket!
After the Tower’s message gave some vague praise or whatever, a dazzling cluster of light gathered over my palm.
Then, Pop, pop, pop! the light vanished, leaving behind a single ruby-colored ticket.
I closed my eyes and clasped my hands together as if in prayer.
“Please, please!”
An F-rank mana stone had appeared on my second attempt.
But gacha was built on duds in the first place, right?
There was only one thing I needed right now.
“Just change the result!”
Possibility.
I only needed confirmation that it wasn’t zero percent.
Desperately.
Earnestly, I tore along the ticket’s dotted line.
Riiip...
Ba-ba-ra-bam!!
Fwoooosh!
I slowly opened my eyes.
My hand felt a little heavier somehow.
“Did I get it?”
The Tower’s message window floated before me.
[E-rank Mana Stone Won!]
“Kh!”
Clutching the mana stone in my hand, my body trembled.
See?
It worked.
‘If I hadn’t rerolled and had been making a dantian in my studio apartment, I would’ve been completely screwed.’
You had to throw yourself at something before anything could happen.
I pressed the stop-recording button and made a post in the gallery.
What kind of reaction would I get?
Footnotes:
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