WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 6: You Never Said It Would Smell
──────
I was Lee Han-gyeol, formerly a pro gamer.
In my prime, I was called the demon of bans and picks.
Assassin character, assassin character.
Support character, support character.
Melee DPS, ranged DPS, mage, late-game carry.
Because of me alone, the opposing team would always get tied up from the ban-and-pick phase.
In other words, my character pool was absurdly wide, with something to use for every situation.
One-tricking never suited me.
And Monolith Online was no different.
The more cards I had in hand, the better.
Sure, I’d been shouting about magic because of the dantian issue, but if they were compatible, that meant I could become a strength build too, didn’t it?
I had no reason to insist on a life devoted solely to magic. That didn’t mean I was refusing to learn magic.
That was what I meant by that comment, but...
[There Is No Reason Not to Learn Magic When You’ve Got a Core!!!][12]
[Why Magic Is Greater Than Martial Arts][8]
[Newbie, Read This][3]
[I’ll Tell You About Something Even Greater][4]
[Finger-Flicking Art? Is It Because of the Finger-Flicking Art Video Martial God Posted?][5]
The reactions were more heated than I expected.
Thinking I needed to calm everyone down, I wrote a long post.
I had to make a core first, didn’t I?
[Please Calm Down;;]
[Author: Amor Fati]
I’m not saying I won’t learn magic.
It’s just that in a lot of games, you can’t change your class without a class-change ticket, so I wrote that comment half-jokingly.
You said it’s hard to use magic with a dantian or an aura hole in the first place.
I just meant I wanted to learn a variety of things.
And if you’re going to train dragons to skywrite for me and teach me how to make a core, of course I should learn magic first.
Magic, yes yes yes!
ㄴDungeon Rogue) This newbie’s skill at giving off a lewd vibe is no joke!
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Well, look at that, the newbie isn’t getting stolen away after all.
ㄴArchmage) R-right! A wise decision. I shall teach you everything with utmost sincerity. Since you’ve unlocked the core option, there’s no reason to learn something else first.
ㄴMartial God) The doors of our martial arts faction are always open, newbie lol
ㄴArchmage) Silence!!!!!
* * *
There was a brief keyboard war between the martial arts faction and the mage faction, which was really just an Archmage one-man show.
After Puppetmaster, the traffic cop of the Infinite Regression Gallery, sorted things out, Archmage taught me how to make a core.
Without entering the tutorial, I came straight out of the Tower and headed to a pharmacy.
The extinction timer notice was only visible to players who had just Awakened.
Besides, America was suppressing information about the Tower that had risen in the Pacific Ocean, so the world had not yet descended into chaos.
At the pharmacy, I bought a mountain of nutritional supplements, a blood-draw syringe, and a brush before returning to my studio apartment.
The Tower’s message about courage, praise, and whatever did nag at me.
‘One step back for two steps forward.’
There were no wounds on my back, so it probably was not shameful.
Probably.
After drawing plenty of blood with the syringe, I carefully ground up the S-rank mana stone and mixed it in as Archmage had instructed.
It crumbled more easily than I expected.
ㄴArchmage) The first step is to inscribe mana circuits upon your body.
Mana circuits.
In other words, blood vessels exclusively for mana.
ㄴArchmage) Their efficiency differs according to how you draw them, so follow the instructions closely.
Thanks to Archmage and Puppetmaster’s collaboration, drawing circuits with special paint made from my blood and mana was not difficult.
“This is kind of scary.”
In the meantime, Puppetmaster had made a doll that looked exactly like me and drawn the circuits onto it.
I was probably supposed to use it as a reference.
The problem was that it was a mannequin that looked exactly like me.
The uncanny valley effect was no joke.
ㄴAmor Fati) Please throw that away afterward....
ㄴPuppetmaster) ? No. It will have many uses.
ㄴAmor Fati) ;;
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Give it up, newbie. She’s a bitch whose joy in life is making a collection of us gallery regulars lol
Anyway, using the video Puppetmaster sent and the bathroom mirror, I drew the circuits on my body.
I thought my back, where my hands couldn’t easily reach, would be a problem, but naturally, the gallery regulars had a solution.
ㄴArchmage) Do not worry about your back. I designed the circuits so there is no need to draw them there in the first place.
ㄴAmor Fati) I mean, I could just ask someone I know to do it. Why go this far?
ㄴArchmage) Nonsense. You cannot call it secret magic or a secret manual if you expose it so easily to others.
ㄴMartial God) You can regress anyway, but how do you think someone would react if you suddenly asked them to draw pictures on your back with your blood?
“Fair point.”
This was only the first day Monolith Online had officially launched.
Later on, all sorts of insane methods for Awakening would be everywhere, but not now.
As Martial God said, if I asked an acquaintance to do something like that, I’d be treated like a lunatic.
[All Done!]
[Author: Amor Fati]
[Photo of me wearing only underwear.]
What do I do next?
ㄴArchmage) Well done. After drawing the circuits, you must properly alter your constitution to accept mana.
ㄴArchmage) Add all the supplements to the remaining solution in the proper ratios.
ㄴVampire Princess) Your collarbones look quite delectable.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Upvote if you secretly saved it like Heretic Exterminator.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Newbie, I meant to ask from your first video, but what’s wrong with your neck and waist?
ㄴMartial God) Were you a scholar? The musculoskeletal condition of people who sit all day usually looks like that.
The two really could be called representatives of the martial arts faction.
They could tell just by looking.
As I sorted the supplements, I replied.
ㄴAmor Fati) Yeah, I was a pro gamer. It’s a job where you sit for a long time.
ㄴAmor Fati) But Archmage, is there any guarantee those ingredients are the same substances in your world?
ㄴArchmage) Do not worry. This gallery’s translation function surpasses even the transcendent.
ㄴArchmage) More importantly, do you think I am called Archmage for no reason? Trust me.
ㄴAmor Fati) Okay okay.
After that, I spent a long time scratching my head and adding the supplements one by one.
.
.
.
.
“Finished!”
Holding up a cup filled with a horrifying purple liquid, I took a verification photo.
All I had to do now was drink this, and that organ called a core would form, right?
My heart pounded.
Because I could see a way to defeat that Orc Chieftain bastard.
[I’m Drinking It Now!]
[Author: Amor Fati]
[Photo of a cup filled with horrifying purple liquid.]
Mage class-change quest complete!
ㄴArchmage) Wait, stop.
ㄴArchmage) Wait.
ㄴArchmage) Not at home. Go outside.
For a moment, I thought a comment had appeared, but it was deleted so fast that I couldn’t make out what it said.
“What was that? I thought there was a comment. Was I imagining things?”
Well, if it were important, they would’ve told me in advance.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Go for it right away, newbie.
See?
Even the gallery’s head mod was telling me to drink it immediately.
“There’s no time to hesitate!”
I immediately held my nose and chugged it.
“Urk!”
I’d expected it, but the taste was far worse than I imagined.
No, wasn’t I supposed not to taste anything if I held my nose?
Why did it taste like fish fermented in a sewer?
I barely stopped myself from vomiting.
“Ghk, urk!”
How much was this elixir worth?
There was no way I’d waste an elixir made with an entire S-rank mana stone by throwing it up.
More importantly, without this, I’d have to grind for thirty years!
“Ghk!”
With superhuman perseverance, I licked down every last drop of the elixir.
The reaction was immediate.
Flaaash!
The circuits drawn across my body began to glow, and terrible chest pain crashed over me.
“Uh, urgh.”
How could I describe this pain?
It felt like my upper body was being crushed in a hydraulic press.
It wasn’t something I could endure through willpower.
At least I could safely pass out.
Archmage had told me not to try to endure it and just lose consciousness, so that seemed best.
Feeling something hot well up from my chest and something else leave my entire body, I passed out.
.
.
.
.
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
ㄴArchmage) You damned head mod!!!
ㄴSolo Hero*) Hahahahahahahahaha
ㄴSolo Hero*) Archmage, were you trying to use a shortcut?
ㄴSolo Hero*) I was watching with hawk eyes.
ㄴMartial God) Old man, you have to watch this no matter what lol
ㄴVampire Princess) To think you contemplated disrupting our time-honored, traditional “real” initiation rite. How outrageous!
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) I... still don’t understand ㅠㅠ Do we have to do this every time?
ㄴDungeon Rogue) You regress anyway, so no need to clean it up, y’know.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) One more trauma lol
ㄴPuppetmaster) Seriously, all your personalities are fucking weird;;
ㄴSolo Hero*) So, can you really resist seeing this reaction that you only get to see once?
ㄴPuppetmaster) ......Honestly, I do want to see it.
.
.
.
.
Something intensely malicious assaulted my nose.
Yes, this could only be described as malice.
The instant the smell stabbed into my nostrils, my sunken consciousness shot to the surface.
“What the fuck is this smell?!”
Cough, cough.
The coughing came naturally.
I had never smelled anything this intense in my life.
I immediately jumped up and ran toward the air purifier.
It was practically instinct.
Whoosh!
Bang!
“Argh!”
What was that?
I had only gotten up and run, but I slammed my head into the wall.
My body had become absurdly light.
Not that I had lost weight. It felt as though my body reacted before I even thought.
And besides that...
Thump, thump.
Energy flowing from my heart surged through my whole body like a live volcano.
Of course, the important thing right now wasn’t that I felt like I could fly.
What mattered was that I’d been left in a chemical-warfare chamber without a gas mask.
“Argh!”
I quickly cranked the air purifier to maximum and threw open every window in the apartment.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!
It took only three seconds.
“Phew, haaah!”
Even though it was fairly windy outside, the smell showed no sign of leaving easily.
‘What the hell happened?’
Nobody said making a core would create a smell like this!
I immediately opened the gallery to give them a piece of my mind.
“You lunatics!”
[Are You Guys Sane?]
[Author: Amor Fati]
What are you going to do about my apartment?!
The smell won’t leave, fuck!
ㄴArchmage) I am sorry, truly sorry. Even if I had a hundred mouths, I would have no excuse.....
ㄴArchmage) I even used time-slowing magic and waited for a chance, but the head mod was so fast;;
ㄴSolo Hero*) The smell is killer, right? Hahahahahaha
ㄴMartial God) But you got healthier lol
ㄴVampire Princess) Hahahahahahaha
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) I’m sorry, brother...
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Ah, this is fucking hilarious lol
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Just run to the Tower lol
ㄴPuppetmaster) Newbie. Sorry. The gallery needs stuff like this to make it fun.....
“Haah....”
I still didn’t understand the Infinite Regression Gallery at all.
The newbie had been fooled again.
I’d been fooled.
“Urgh.”
Still, this smell was truly hopeless.
I could already hear the lady upstairs making a huge fuss, yelling, “Oh my goodness!”
‘Sorry, ma’am.’
She had been such a good upstairs neighbor, never making a single bit of inter-floor noise.
This was all the gallery regulars’ fault.
“Next time, I should go somewhere like a public park restroom.”
This smell was not of this world.
And with all my senses sharper now, it felt twice as painful.
“Head mod, you screwed up.”
You dared to instantly delete the comments from Archmage, my teacher, who was trying to help me?
The head mod was in the same martial arts faction as Martial God, right?
For a while, I wouldn’t give martial arts so much as a second look.
I’d pulled off more than five superplays by baiting enemies with a sliver of health.
Keeping them on edge by dangling the possibility that I might join the martial arts faction?
That was a piece of cake for me.
“Phew.”
Enough stray thoughts.
The core had settled into my body, and it definitely felt like my overall character stats had jumped considerably.
Squeeze.
Even just clenching my fist felt different.
This could work.
Magic aside, even judging by my raw physical ability alone, I could definitely break through the Orc Chieftain’s first pattern.
“Orc Chieftain, just wait.”
My whole body itched to test something immediately.
I opened the gallery and summoned Archmage.
[It Feels Like Energy Is Boiling Over in My Body]
[Author: Amor Fati]
At this rate, I think I could slaughter something like the Orc Chieftain without even letting it make a sound.
So how do I use QWER?
ㄴArchmage) It translates as a request to teach you the basics of controlling mana.
ㄴArchmage) First, enter the Tower.
“That’s true.”
More importantly, I truly couldn’t stand the smell anymore.
I immediately ran to the Tower.
It was not because the lady upstairs was coming down, calling, “Young man! Young man!”
“Enter!”
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried
