I Unleashed a Gossip Gallery in Another World - Chapter 37

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Irevi

◈ I Unleashed a Gossip Gallery in Another World ◈

Chapter 37: A New Order

──────

[✪(Breaking) The Holy Church is in chaos lol]

About twenty minutes after the Saintess of the Holy Church led her personal guard into the cathedral at the Papal Palace.

[Anonymous: The Holy Knight Order is gathering at the Papal Palace right now holy shit]

[Anonymous: I'm a holy knight, and it looks like something fun's about to happen lol]

[Anonymous: Church Ethics Committee <<< Was this even a real organization? lol]

Across the Gossip Gallery, once full of talk about cute unidentified life-forms, posts that seemed far from ordinary began appearing.

[Holy Church Gallery]

[(Emergency Notice) Valentino III has been suspended from his duties.]

And about an hour later, an announcement containing shocking news was posted on the Holy Church Gallery.

----------

[(Emergency Notice) Valentino III has been suspended from his duties.]

Author: Saintess of the Holy Church

We have confirmed decisive evidence concerning the recent revelations and controversy surrounding Pope Valentino III.

Therefore, as chair of the Church Ethics Committee and commander of the Holy Knight Order, I hereby resolve the following.

[1] Pope Valentino III is suspended from his duties effective immediately and referred to the Inquisition.

[2] The Golden Shield's operation is to cease immediately, and the illegally collected Spirit Realm soul database is to be destroyed.

[3] The excommunication of the Spirit Realm is revoked. We will cooperate fully with compensation and restoration efforts.

[4] A thorough investigation is ordered into all priests and technicians who participated in the Golden Shield Plan.

This resolution takes effect immediately upon publication.

We once again apologize for this controversy and will do our utmost to restore our relationship of trust.

Acting Pope, Saintess of the Holy Church.

----------

Naturally, the Holy Church's announcement, containing such explosive news, sent shockwaves through the entire Gossip Gallery.

[✪The Saintess really is the one to set the Church right lol]

[✪Saintess <<< We should worship her, right? Yeah.]

[✪First Saintess <<< If establishing dual leadership was a divine move, upvote lol]

[✪Holy Church <<< If it suddenly feels holy again, should we give it an upvote?????]

[✪But seriously, that's fucking cool lol. Is that really the pure Saintess I knew?]

And naturally, most users began praising the Saintess for making the decision.

[Anonymous: But isn't the Saintess in on it too? (Genuinely don't know)]

ㄴAnonymous1: Cut that crap.

ㄴAnonymous2: You don't know how many people the Saintess saved during the Continental War, do you? lol

ㄴAnonymous3: You really have no limit, saying that about someone who went around curing the continental plague before she even became Saintess lol

ㄴAnonymous4: Marking this one as a demonic spy for now. Yeah.

The Holy Church had never enjoyed much popular support, but the Saintess alone was an exception.

After all, she was respected by everyone, having proven her nobility through the life she had lived.

That was why even on the Gossip Gallery, posts criticizing the Saintess had always been hard to find.

And since that Saintess had drawn her sword and stepped into the situation, there was no way public opinion would be bad.

“Hm-hm♪”

As for what the Saintess herself was doing at that very moment.

‘I finally protected my baby from the Golden Shield!’

She was seated on the papal throne in place of the Pope, smiling contentedly as she stroked her stomach.

‘I will raise you to be a wonderful child, my baby...’

Her sole flaw, despite having more overwhelming support than any other member of the continent's ruling class, was that she was far too innocent.

“Sisters, how are babies made?”

“S-Saintess, well...”

“W-When a man and woman in love hold hands, a baby is made!”

It was the desperate, nonsensical answer the nuns had once given when the Saintess, studying Church doctrine, asked how one was meant to fulfill the duty of producing descendants.

Ever since then, after holding a young man's hand at a ball, the Saintess had continued believing she was carrying his child.

“Um, Saintess...”

“Eek!”

“Does your stomach hurt?”

Thus, when the captain of the Holy Knight Order spoke to her while she was happily rubbing her flat stomach again today, she lowered her hand in surprise.

“Ah, it's nothing.”

“...”

“By the way, why do you look so troubled?”

After putting on a rather unconcerned expression, she tilted her head and asked.

“Well...”

The next moment, the Saintess's eyes widened.

“The Church's public standing is plummeting to its lowest point.”

“What? Why!?”

“Well... Haa.”

“D-Did I make a mistake in the announcement?”

For the Saintess, who had worked so hard that she had even taken headache medicine to prepare the announcement, it was a bolt from the blue.

‘Just in case, I had it reviewed ten times and checked every bit of spelling against the dictionary...’

Unable to sit still, the Saintess looked around warily before opening the Gallery.

“...”

Her face promptly turned pale.

(Author: Imperial Investigator Beikard)

[✪Golden Shield <<< This has Demon God Cult sorcery in it lol (Proof attached)]

Only then did she learn the truth about the Golden Shield, leaked onto the Gossip Gallery by an Imperial investigator.

[✪The Demon God Cult, what the fuck lol. Is Valentino III actually out of his mind?]

[✪If you're a knockoff Demon King who can't believe your eyes right now, upvote lol]

[✪Holy Church <<< If you can't even tell where the rot starts, upvote lol]

[✪I knew it from the moment they started controlling the boon of the goddess they worship while calling it the Golden Shield. Yeah.]

Naturally, from the moment that internal information was leaked in full, the Church's public standing had been plunging toward rock bottom.

(Author: Second Demon King Riarte)

[OtherRacesGalleryDeputyMod1: Why is that getting founded over there???]

(Author: Demon Army Commander Lilith)

[Anonymous: Excuse me?????]

(Author: Ruler of the Hundred Thousand Great Mountains)

[Anonymous: ????????]

(Author: New Demon God Cult Leader)

[Anonymous: I never made an alt account though???]

This was such a grave matter that even those directly associated with the Demon God Cult were shocked by the topic.

The fact that the Holy Church, of all places, had been manipulated by the Demon God was that shocking.

[✪Holy Church <<< If it should just be shut down, upvote lol]

[✪I was going to let it slide for the Saintess's sake, but these bastards are really beyond saving lol]

[✪They already fell once. Isn't this just locking the stable door after the horse has bolted? Yeah.]

[✪This really doesn't seem like something that ends with punishing Valentino III alone lol]

[✪Holy Sanctuary <<< If you're starting to want outside intervention, upvote hehe]

“...”

The Saintess watched the Church's reputation fall in real time for a long while without a word.

Tap, tap...

After briefly checking her surroundings, she quietly began moving her fingers.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: Everyone! What do you think the Church needs to do to regain the public's trust?]

And immediately afterward, an anonymous user's question post appeared on the Empire Village Gossip Gallery.

Anonymous1: Golden Shield <<< The moment you people did something this ugly, you were already out lol

Anonymous2: Nope. Go home.

Anonymous3: You're neither holy nor do you worship the goddess, so how are you going to regain trust? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

“Urgh...”

Just then, as the Saintess who had written the post made a tearful face at the still frigid public response.

Anonymous4: Unless you hand out free VPN shields instead of Golden Shields, I have no intention of letting this go lol

ㄴAnonymous5: For real lol

ㄴAnonymous6: If you really did that, I'd be willing to get my head cracked one last time for the Saintess's sake lol

At that moment, the Saintess's eyes lit up.

‘As expected of the Gossip Gallery!’

To the Saintess, who had gained all kinds of stimulating information from the Gossip Gallery after joining out of curiosity, the users' words were practically the truth.

“Contact the Spirit Realm!”

“Pardon?”

“There is something I would like to negotiate!”

And how much time passed after the Saintess issued a secret order as Acting Pope?

“Hm...”

Elrod, monitoring the topic from the mansion of a Magnesia Empire count far from the Holy Sanctuary, found an interesting post and his eyes gleamed.

(Author: Spirit Queen)

[🔒Anonymous: Master Admin, please check this.]

An anonymous spirit had conveyed the agreement between the Spirit Realm and the Holy Church in a private post.

‘This doesn't seem bad.’

Before long, Elrod agreed to their terms and posted a new notice.

[Notice: Starting today, VPN technology will be jointly operated through a partnership between the Spirit Realm and the Holy Church.]

From that day onward, the era of the Golden Shield, centered on the continent's ruling class and Valentino III, came to a complete end.

In its place, the emblem of a new symbol against censorship and oppression spread across Sky Island, ushering in a new era.

“Valentino III, you have ruined everything in the end!!!”

“Y-Your Imperial Majesty! Please show mercy...”

“How much support did I give the Golden Shield Plan...? You damned fool!”

Emperor Rudric had leaked the Golden Shield's true nature with the intent of bringing down the Holy Church and severing the trail leading back to himself, but by the time he struck the ground in regret, it was already too late.

It was the moment the Gossip Gallery's victory in the Third Gallery Hegemony War was confirmed once again.

* * *

“Ha ha...”

Lying in bed and lurking through the whole situation, I smiled with satisfaction as pictures of Sky Island's new shield began appearing all over the Gossip Gallery.

‘VPN technology was a resource-devouring monster. This works out great for me.’

No matter how much Mana Stone I was extorting by threatening the Second Demon King, VPN was a technology that consumed terrifying amounts of resources.

I had been worrying over how to commercialize it, but I never imagined things would work out like this.

‘The Saintess really pulled one off.’

Today, I even felt like personally writing a post on the Gossip Gallery praising the Saintess.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[✪Public Sentiment Test.JPG]

[Upvotes: 11808] [Downvotes: -13]

“Well, well.”

But when I entered the Gallery with that thought in mind, the Saintess herself had already posted something.

----------

Author: Anonymous (Saintess of the Holy Church)

(Photo attached.)

If you like this person, um...

Puppy upvote?

Try pressing that!

----------

“...What am I supposed to do with this?”

After reading the post, I could only let out a disbelieving laugh.

Anonymous1: Did she just call an upvote a puppy upvote?

Anonymous2: Hi Saintess.

Anonymous3: Her way of talking is so Saintess-like lol. Is this a bit?

Anonymous4: Are you saying the Saintess announced the VPN policy and is now nervously ego-searching public opinion on the Gossip Gallery???

Anonymous5: If the real Saintess wrote this, that's fucking adorable lol

Fortunately, most users seemed to think there was no way the Saintess would crawl into the Gossip Gallery to ego-search herself.

‘She isn't trying to give herself away. She's just genuinely this clueless, so it's complicated...’

Still, because I knew her identity, I had no choice but to monitor every post the Saintess wrote for a while.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: Is it really true that handshakes are an ordinary greeting in the Empire!?!?]

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: I had no idea the Empire was so promiscuous!]

Fortunately, after writing those posts, the Saintess returned to being her usual innocent menace of a user.

And as the discussion surrounding the Saintess gradually began to die down, a new topic started flowing through the Gossip Gallery.

[✪(Breaking) The spirits are back!!!!!!!!!!]

It was none other than talk about the spirits and fairies, who had regained their original names after being called unidentified life-forms.

(Author: High Elf Sigria)

[Anonymous: It feels good seeing the spirits running around the Great Forest again hehe]

(Author: Beastfolk Spiritist Rierie)

[Anonymous: I just made up with my spirit friend of twenty years and cried my eyes out ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

(Author: Spirit Studies Graduate Elbert)

[Anonymous: My contracted spirit came back. They cried and said they had wanted to see me again.... I'm sorry for being such a piece-of-shit master who talked so much trash on the Gossip Gallery....]

(Author: Yellow Mage Tower Top Disciple Sharnika)

[Anonymous: (Breaking) Yellow Mage Tower stock reaches a new high lol]

‘This is nice to see.’

Reading reunion posts from Galleries across the continent made my nose sting for some reason.

‘It all started because the ruling class was so fucking awful.’

It felt strange to experience this kind of accomplishment and fulfillment, something I had never really felt even in my days as the previous Hero.

[Anonymous: Bald Emperor <<< I expected him to throw a fit. Why's he so quiet? lol]

ㄴAnonymous1: Heard he's busy treating his hair loss lol

ㄴAnonymous2: He watched the Pope get fucked in real time with one click of a new feature, so he should know better lol

ㄴAnonymous3: Since he's the kind of bastard who stakes his life on Gallery dominance, he'll probably keep his head down and stay quiet for a while lol

And there was one more thing I found satisfying: our Bald Emperor was keeping his mouth shut and reading the room.

‘Has he finally learned his place?’

As long as they acknowledge the Gossip Gallery, I had no intention of going after the ruling class first.

But if not only the Emperor, but anyone at all, pressured the Spirit Realm or the Church over this matter...

Then I would gladly declare a Fourth Hegemony War.

The Gossip Gallery's supporters were steadily growing, so the other rulers would likely not dare try such a thing carelessly.

[Empire Village Gossip Gallery, All Smiles]

[✪Gossip Gallery Eraser <<< It's fucking hilarious that the rulers lose their heads the moment they defy them. Upvote lol]

[✪(??: We have to stop this....) (??????: Click. Lol.)]

[✪(Shocking, Horrifying, Bizarre) There's a crazy bastard shaking international affairs with one click of a new feature!?!?!?]

[✪(Scary story) A certain underground Gallery has made the Spirit Realm and Holy Church into lackeys and is making them distribute a new feature....]

[✪Gossip Gallery <<< Any Gossip Gallery bros starting to feel a sense of belonging, upvote ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

‘What a bunch of idiots.’

After wearing a satisfied expression for so long, I frowned at the mod praise that had begun again after quite a while.

“Phew...”

Still, this time felt somewhat different.

‘So this is finally wrapping up.’

Watching such pathetic topics go around made me realize the incident had truly come to an end.

[✪But Spirit Realm <<< Shouldn't they repay the favor? Hehe]

[✪Which one will do a dogeza, the Queen or the Princess? lol]

[✪Making the Queen your slave VS making the Princess your slave]

[✪Gossip Gallery Eraser <<< Is it true they only got involved because they wanted to see a lewd spirit dogeza??????]

“...”

But when the topic got this pathetic, that was a different story.

‘Do they think I'm some kind of slave-pimp merchant?’

The Spirit Realm had already taken charge of managing the VPN system.

And because of the Spirit Realm's core principle that favors must be repaid, they would not be able to abuse it recklessly. I had no intention of demanding anything more.

(Author: Spirit Princess Sereniel)

[🔒Anonymous: Would you consider making a contract with me? The spirits owe their lives to you, so I want to repay you somehow....]

(Author: Spirit Queen Serenata)

[🔒Anonymous: You are a hero of the Spirit Realm, comparable to the First Hero. Please, let us repay our debt somehow.... (Rest omitted)]

But it appeared that the anonymous spirit mother and daughter thought a little differently.

Gossip Gallery Eraser: Want to be mods?

ㄴ(Spirit Princess Sereniel): N-no lewd things....

ㄴ(Spirit Queen Serenata): Spirits are pure beings, so a dogeza would put our lives in danger....

ㄴGossip Gallery Eraser: I said be mods, not do a fucking dogeza.

Honestly, having them repay the favor by becoming mods would have been ideal, but the spirit mother and daughter seemed to have some rather deep misunderstandings.

Noble Lady Gallery Eraser: Go look at Elrod and fix your personality. Yeah.

Other Races Gallery Eraser: What are you doing, Big Brother? Are you ignoring my attempt to repay you and fooling around with other bitches?

Troll Eraser: Not even an evil ancient dragon would do such a thing.

ㄴGossip Gallery Eraser: Fuck off, you crazy bitches.

My head hurt even more because the dedicated Erasers were further deepening the misunderstanding in the comments.

‘I should just give up.’

Of course, I had not planned to make the spirits, who already managed the VPN, into mods in the first place.

If spirits verified their identities, their anonymity would become far too obvious.

More than anything, I owed a spirit as well, so burdening them with moderator duties felt wrong.

‘This repays the favor I owed you.’

For some reason, I felt as if the young spirit who had followed me during my days as the previous Hero was flickering before my eyes.

If there was a heaven, I hoped they could see this from beyond and smile.

Gossip Gallery Eraser: Just manage the VPN properly.

ㄴ(Spirit Queen Serenata): Please don't say that. A contract...

ㄴ(Spirit Princess Sereniel): I'll search for you my whole life. Yeah.

After quietly sorting out my feelings inside, I closed the Gallery, feeling an inexplicable chill run down my spine.

“It's a relief my identity hasn't been exposed, at least not on the Gallery.”

My real identity as Elrod was already causing enough trouble. If I had been hounded on the Gallery too, I would probably have died of overwork by now.

‘At least what I do as a Gallery administrator will never affect my real life...’

I was enjoying afternoon tea with rare leisure when a keyword alert suddenly appeared before my eyes.

[A new notification has arrived!]

[(Breaking) What is this Saintess notice post right now??????????]

“...”

It seemed I had forgotten to turn off the Saintess keyword alert I had enabled while monitoring her earlier.

‘What did she write this time...’

I scratched my head and was about to turn off the keyword when curiosity got the better of me, and I entered the Holy Church Gallery.

----------

[Notice: It seems I can no longer delay this announcement.]

Author: Saintess of the Holy Church

I'm pregnant!

By the goddess's grace!

----------

And the moment I finished reading the post.

Pwahk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sprayed out the tea in my mouth and began coughing.

Cough, cough...

Immediately afterward, the Saintess's posts began catching my eye through the keyword alerts.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: Elrod <<< What has he been up to lately?]

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: Elrod <<< He's doing well and staying healthy, right? Hehe]

I scrolled through the posts for a while, then saw the most recent one and began trembling.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: Now that there is no one left to be wary of, I should visit the Empire soon to see my husband!]

One possibility I absolutely did not want to imagine had surfaced in my mind.

* * *

Bang! Bang! Bang!!!

Meanwhile, at the Holy Sanctuary on Sky Island.

“Saintess!!! Please open the door!!!!!”

“What on earth is going on!!!!”

“Please, let us speak with you!!!”

A huge commotion was coming from outside the Papal Palace office located within.

“Everyone...”

The one bracing the door shut with her back while listening to the uproar was none other than the Saintess, who had made the shocking announcement just moments ago.

“I already came to an agreement with the goddess through prayer.”

“What!?”

“She said there was no particular problem, so it will be fine!”

Squeezing her eyes shut, she used even holy power to firmly seal the office door, which had been on the verge of opening.

“Saintess!!!!!!!!!”

“That is not the problem!!!!!!”

“Please open the door already!!!!!!!”

Yet the tearful cries of the holy knights and priests outside continued to seep through the door.

“What kind of bastard!!!!!!!!!! Did this to the Saintess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The captain of the Holy Knight Order, more panicked than anyone, shouted as if blinded by rage.

“Ahem....”

But the Saintess had already left their cries behind. Clearing her throat, she walked away.