I Unleashed a Gossip Gallery in Another World - Chapter 38

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Irevi

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ I Unleashed a Gossip Gallery in Another World ◈

Chapter 38: The Church's Idol

──────

“Hem, hem.”

About a week after Pope Valentino III's downfall.

Sky Island, the Holy Church's sanctuary, had regained its peace in the new era known as the VPN Policy.

“Good morning, believers.”

“...”

“Once again, the Goddess has granted us a new day. That is something we should rightly rejoice in.”

Countless believers had gathered in the grand cathedral soaring high into the sky to hear the Saintess's morning address.

“However, recently... I have heard troubling news that certain practices are becoming common in the Church.”

At that, the believers flinched and lowered their heads.

“Because of the recent controversy, the Church has received much criticism from outside.”

The Saintess slowly looked over them and sighed.

“I know you have grievances regarding these matters, and I also know that much false information that must be refuted is spreading.”

Her expression turned serious as she lowered her voice.

“But, everyone.”

Then came a phrase that did not quite suit such a grave atmosphere.

“You need to know when to stop taking things too far.”

Silence fell over the cathedral.

“Please refrain from using unauthorized Galleries as well.”

For some reason, none of the believers found the Saintess's odd word choice strange. They merely nodded.

“The Gallery is a blessing bestowed by the Goddess and the Hero for free communication.”

“...”

“It is not a place to take scriptural interpretations too far, or to troll each other by asking after one another's parents.”

The Saintess's phrasing grew increasingly bizarre, but still no one questioned it.

“And doing such things in an unauthorized Gallery that openly defies the gift the Goddess bestowed upon the continent...”

Her solemn conclusion put the finishing touch on it all.

“Is something that deserves a downvote.”

The reason Gallery-like speech was coming from the Saintess's solemn sermon was simple.

“Amen...”

“So unauthorized Galleries were not the Goddess's will after all.”

“It is indeed something deserving of a downvote...”

In this world, Galleries were a grace bestowed by the Goddess.

And most Gallery slang originated with the previous Hero, the Goddess's apostle.

In other words, to the Church that worshipped the Goddess, the Gallery was scripture, and the Hero's catchphrases were gospel.

That was why the speech used by Church believers and priests at official events was entirely made up of terminology that had been popular in Galleries of the old era.

“Still... it would be difficult to control whether you access unauthorized Galleries at all, wouldn't it?”

And right now, a new era's Gallery code was being established from the Saintess's lips.

“Unauthorized Galleries also operate under the Goddess's privilege. Therefore, we have no choice but to interpret this as the Goddess's will as well.”

In this era, interpreting Gallery rules and permitting new functions fell to the Church.

Of course, the Imperial Family had monopolized the final authority over all Gallery administration. Still, the Church held a degree of autonomy because it was directly connected to the Goddess.

And now, with the Saintess having returned to the world after so long, her standing was higher than ever. Her authority had become formidable indeed.

“However, if you are believers who serve the Goddess, please keep the following points firmly in mind.”

Having spread this new interpretation among the believers, the Saintess spoke in a solemn voice.

“When you see a post that makes you angry, press back.”

“Amen.”

“Do not feed it by leaving comments. Ignore it.”

“Amen.”

“The moment you take the bait, you too become a troll.”

“Amen...”

The Church believers repeated her words, clasped their hands, and prayed devoutly.

“We shall remember...”

“Ah, so I was a troll as well...”

“I can finally feel that this is a new era...”

When the Saintess spoke again, they listened intently.

“Do not witch-spy hunt. Be kind to newbie believers.”

“...”

“Do not make bad-faith attacks. Argue with facts.”

After finishing even that in a solemn tone, the Saintess smiled at the believers.

“Do not forget these sayings of the Hero, and I hope you all have a day overflowing with faith.”

Then, as always, fervent cheers filled the cathedral.

“Long live the Saintess!”

“Long live the Goddess!”

“Long live the Gallery!”

The Saintess watched them with satisfaction, then scratched her head while gauging their reactions.

“Oh, and...”

Her face reddened slightly as she spoke.

“I will be taking a break from morning sermons for a while.”

Confusion appeared on the believers' faces.

“Though I cannot take maternity leave, it is about time I prepared for prenatal education. Hehe...”

Then, in the next instant.

“...”

The Church believers stiffly lowered their heads, their eyes darting busily around.

Tap, tap...

[Anonymous: The Saintess's joke <<< Upvote if it's starting to get unfunny lol]

[Anonymous: How much longer is she going to keep this joke up.... Hehe]

[Anonymous: Churchies <<< Their collective denial of reality is fucking hilarious lol]

[Anonymous: (Fact) The Saintess definitely conceived as a virgin. She has no husband, so this is correct yeah]

Soon, posts from Church refugees began appearing one by one on the Empire Village Gossip Gallery.

“I wonder what we should name the baby...”

Apparently unaware of their despair, the Saintess gently rubbed her stomach with a pleased expression.

“Although I, as the Saintess, have no name...”

“...”

“We need to give our baby a wonderful name...”

Of course, people had become believers out of faith, but many who joined the modern Holy Church had done so after being captivated by the Saintess's purity and beautiful appearance.

Tremble...

And among them were quite a few, both men and women, who secretly admired her.

Even those without such improper feelings basically revered the Saintess all the same.

But the woman worshipped almost as the Church's idol had shared love with someone and become pregnant overnight?

It was painfully obvious what kind of posts would appear on the Gossip Gallery.

----------

[Title: I'm scared to see the Saintess.]

Author: Anonymous (Heretic Inquisitor Cruel)

Lately, the Saintess keeps making expressions the believers do not know.

But I cannot do anything.

All I can do is helplessly watch the Saintess's stomach swell larger every day.

Was this how the Goddess felt when she sent off the Hero?

This is.

Hell.

----------

“Haa...”

Among those sighing as they read such posts was the captain of the Holy Knights, who had secretly admired the Saintess.

“Saintess.”

“Yes?”

“I have one question.”

The captain approached the Saintess, who was coming down from the platform to leave, and finally gathered the courage to ask.

“That dog who dared to hold the Saintess in his arms...”

“A dog?”

“...Where did you meet that man of such noble spirit?”

A brief silence settled over the cathedral.

‘It should be fine to say that much...’

The Saintess's eyes rolled around in the silence. Then, rubbing her stomach with an innocent expression, she spoke.

“Of course, my baby is a chosen being created through the Goddess's grace...”

It was around then that the ears of the silent believers perked up.

“But there was someone who helped me make the baby in order to fulfill that mission.”

The believers' gazes steadily turned colder.

“That person was, um...”

Still unaware of the change in mood, the Saintess continued with reddened cheeks.

“When I went to the Imperial Ball last time...”

“...”

“I met him there...”

The moment she finished, an overwhelming majority of the believers lowered their heads again.

Tap, tap...

Then their fingers began moving faster than ever.

* * *

[✪(Breaking) Saintess: Got pregnant at the Imperial Ball yeah]

[✪You fucking Imperial male vermin, you're dead lololol]

[✪Magnesia Empire <<< Upvote if you want a holy war hehe]

[✪Holy Knights who escorted the Saintess at the last ball <<< Was the rumor true that they lost sight of her while watching Elrod?]

A huge new topic began spreading throughout the Gossip Gallery after the Saintess's sudden confession.

Thanks to its sensational subject matter and provocative content, it swiftly spread across every Gallery.

----------

[Title: So the Saintess did that with a man?]

Author: Anonymous (Demon Commander Lilith)

Not some lowly succubus or country lady.

Not some Imperial noblewoman who constantly commits filthy acts.

The pure and virtuous Saintess of the Church.

That timid, introverted Saintess who radiates ditzy charm.

That immaculate Saintess who has never even made eye contact with a man her own age.

You're saying she did “that” with a man now?

Even I, who have fallen into corruption beyond measure, have never held a man's hand even once. Yet that immaculate Saintess bared herself completely to an anonymous young man at the Imperial Ball?

Does that make sense? You know it doesn't make sense either.

I can't believe it. I simply can't believe it....

[Comments: 5]

Anonymous1: The Saintess conceived as a virgin, you witch-spy bastard lol

ㄴAnonymous2: She said with her own mouth that she has a husband, and you're still going on about virgin conception lololololol

ㄴAnonymous3: Ding-dong! Witch spy! Does that make everyone a witch spy now? Lol

ㄴAnonymous4: Those Church bastards are always witch-spy hunting lolololol

Anonymous5: Amazingly, everything in this post is true yeah

----------

Naturally, the topic soon shifted to the identity of the man who had supposedly seduced the Saintess.

(Author: Lady Yurian)

[Noble Lady Gallery Eraser: Saintess <<< I knew she was an airhead, but I didn't know she was the sort to get all fluttery over some pathetic Imperial man, you know? Hehe]

(Author: Princess Ruabel)

[Anonymous: Why does nobody approach me, but only the Saintess gets approached❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗]

(Author: Crown Princess)

[Noble Lady Gallery Deputy Mod1: The Imperial male vermin who seduced the Saintess <<< Upvote if you cannot even imagine how brave he must be lololololol]

It would not be an exaggeration to say that every single notorious user who usually enjoyed the Gossip Gallery had joined the discussion.

“...”

Yet one notorious user alone could not join in.

“Huff, huff...”

That user was none other than the Saintess herself.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: But everyone, fine, the Saintess is getting insulted, but why is the Saintess's husband <<< getting insulted?]

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Anonymous: He only made a baby, so could someone explain why the Saintess's husband <<< is getting insulted?]

After fuming in her room within the Church for quite some time, she began moving her fingers diligently to defend her husband.

ㄴAnonymous1: Obviously, he seduced a Saintess who knew nothing and then abandoned her lolololololol

ㄴAnonymous2: Seeing how he's kept his mouth shut until now, looks like he never plans to show his face lol

ㄴAnonymous3: People are outraged because this was not a proper relationship between mutually consenting people? Think before you post lol

ㄴAnonymous4: Is the man himself posting? Lol. Do not ever think of setting foot in the sanctuary yeah

But after reading the comments on her defensive post, the Saintess's expression went blank.

“I, I didn't think of that!”

It had been good that she made a baby to practice the Church's doctrine.

“You need consent to make a baby!”

But the Saintess broke out in a cold sweat as she belatedly realized that she had not asked the kind man she met at the ball for permission to make a baby.

‘...Then should I meet him, ask his permission, and marry him, even now?’

Then, suddenly clasping her hands, the Saintess closed her eyes and began to pray.

‘Goddess, please give me an answer...’

A long silence followed in the room.

‘...As expected, the connection still isn't very good.’

The Saintess looked slightly disappointed in the silence.

‘Still, it is a little better than when there were Golden Shield radio waves...’

Yet she carefully listened to the Goddess's choppy voice, which had become a little clearer than before, and began taking notes.

[Bullshit, imaginary pregnancy(?), Elrod, mine, get lost.]

At last, she opened her eyes and examined the words she had written down.

“What could this possibly mean...?”

But the Saintess could not understand how she was supposed to arrange and interpret those words.

“Hmm...”

After hesitating for a while, she was about to log onto the Gossip Gallery again to find someone to help interpret them.

“...!”

Then her eyes suddenly widened.

[🔒Holy Church Gossip Gallery application.]

[🔒Create the Church Gossip Gallery immediately.]

[🔒Application for head mod of the Holy Church Gossip Gallery. (Verification attached)]

Applications for a Holy Church Gossip Gallery were appearing in real time on the Empire Village Gossip Gallery, where she often spent her time.

‘Goddess, they are going to create a Church Gossip Gallery!’

As the Saintess now leading the Church as acting Pope, she could never let this stand.

‘Those heretics must surely be requesting it so they can criticize the Church!’

Of course, she secretly used the Gossip Gallery herself.

But that was only in Galleries unrelated to the Church.

If a Church Gossip Gallery were created like this, it would practically give the Demon God Cult and demons a means to unite and attack the Church.

‘How am I supposed to solve this situation?’

Having sweated coldly for a long time, the Saintess clasped her hands once more and prayed to the Goddess.

[Gossip Gallery, moderator, Elrod, no worries.]

Not long after, the Saintess looked down at the notebook where she had written the Goddess's choppy words.

“Aha!”

As she carefully took in the words and eagerly flipped through a dictionary, her eyes suddenly lit up.

“It means I must become the moderator of the Church Gossip Gallery in order to protect Sir Elrod without worry!”

It was the first time since being appointed Saintess that she had made a plausible interpretation on her own.

“As expected of the Goddess!”

For quite some time, the Saintess smiled proudly and praised the Goddess, who always answered her prayers.

“...”

Then her expression suddenly darkened.

‘But to become a moderator of the Gossip Gallery...’

She had recalled the requirement for becoming a Gossip Gallery Eraser.

“Uuugh...”

She groaned for a long time, thinking and thinking.

“B-but it cannot be helped.”

The Saintess suddenly stood with a resolute expression and tightly clenched both hands.

“To protect the child in my stomach and my husband, I will gladly sacrifice even this body of mine!”

A while later, at the Holy See deep within the Church.

“Everyone, please vacate the Holy See for a moment.”

“Yes?”

“What is the matter, Saintess?”

The nuns managing the place tilted their heads at the Saintess's sudden command.

“I have something personal to do...”

The Saintess avoided their gazes and muttered with slightly reddened cheeks.

* * *

“Haa...”

About a week after discussion of the Saintess's pregnancy and husband had begun.

(Author: Captain Christina of the Holy Knights)

[🔒Holy Church Gossip Gallery application.]

(Author: First-Rank Priest Artemia)

[🔒Create the Church Gossip Gallery immediately.]

(Author: Heretic Inquisitor Cruel)

[🔒Application for head mod of the Holy Church Gossip Gallery. (Verification attached)]

(Author: Johann I, Advisor to the Church Ethics Committee)

[🔒Men can dogeza too. (Photo attached)]

(Author: Ellis of the Church Sisterhood)

[🔒I will destroy the Church that corrupted the Saintess.]

“...”

I stared blankly at the applications to create a Church Gossip Gallery, personally requested by Church believers rather than the Demon God Cult, the Ten Thousand Great Mountains, or even the demons.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[🔒Anonymous: I am applying to be head mod of the Church Gossip Gallery!]

Then I saw the one post I had desperately hoped would never appear, and tightly shut my eyes.

[🔒Anonymous: I am applying to be head mod of the Church Gossip Gallery!]

ㄴNoble Lady Gallery Eraser: You crazy bitch, what are you doing?

ㄴMage Gallery Eraser: Lolololololololololol

ㄴSwordsman Gallery Eraser: Am I dreaming right now?

ㄴOther Races Gallery Eraser: What are you really doing?

ㄴTroll Eraser: You really do live long enough to see everything....

“Haa...”

The Gossip Gallery's great principle of anonymity.

That absolute principle had one loophole.

An applicant for a moderator position could reveal their identity as much as they wished for verification.

Of course, apart from the Second Demon King, our worst troll, nobody had yet verified themselves by revealing their own face.

Even though the verification post could only be seen by Erasers in administrative positions, nobody wanted to fully reveal their identity in a Gallery deemed taboo across the continent.

But despite that, it was far too easy to guess the identity behind this verification post.

‘What crazy woman does a dogeza in the Holy See of the sacred Church...’

Thus, the head mod of the Church Gossip Gallery, which had received multiple creation requests for the first time, was decided by unanimous vote of the Erasers to be an empty-headed girl.

----------

[(Notice) Holy Church/All Religions Gossip Gallery Notice]

Author: Church Gallery Eraser

I will moderate it however I want!

Bans and deletions are up to me too!

----------

With the very first notice being an open declaration of dictatorship, it was obvious how the Church Gossip Gallery would operate from now on.

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Church Gallery Eraser: Saintess conceived as a virgin <<< I will settle anyone who doubts this with a duel!]

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Church Gallery Eraser: But Elrod <<< I think this person should be excluded as a candidate for the Saintess's husband? Hehe]

(Author: Saintess of the Holy Church)

[Church Gallery Eraser: Elrod <<< Honestly, isn't he far too kind to seduce the Saintess? Hehe]

‘This is really fucking bad.’

With my whole body trembling, I diligently deleted the suspicious posts the Saintess was writing under a fixed handle. It was then, just as I was about to say something over the call bell.

[Holy Church/All Religions Gossip Gallery]

[Anonymous: You fucking crazy bitch, stop talking such bullshit seriously]

[Anonymous: Why the fuck is he your husband, bitch?]

[Anonymous: And when did I ever tell you to do this?]

[Anonymous: Are you doing this on purpose???????]

[Anonymous: Please listen properly and interpret it....]

“...?”

A furious user suddenly began flooding the newly created Church Gossip Gallery with posts.

Church Gallery Eraser: Why is this believer so angry?

ㄴ(Author): Open your fucking ears already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ㄴ(Author): Fuck!!!!!!!! Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ㄴ(Author): (Howling Orc sticker)