WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 95: 095
──────
Once the event was over, we returned home.
“Good work today, Mr. Baek Jiho.”
Han Seonga said as she dropped me off. I shrugged.
“It was nothing. Anyway... I’m officially under contract now, right?”
“That’s correct. The benefits for formally contracted Hunters will be applied shortly. I’ll let you know once that happens.”
“Good.”
At last, I had signed a formal contract.
I had officially entered into an exclusive contract with the government of the Republic of Korea!
That meant I would receive much better support than other Hunters.
Though honestly, it was support I could live without.
‘They’ll lend me artifacts, give me an annual activity allowance, and handle some protocol stuff... That’s about it.’
They weren’t granting me incredible privileges like immunity from prosecution, as America had.
Still, it was better than nothing.
And so, I became an officially contracted Hunter of King Korea.
“I’ll see you next time, then...”
Vrooom.
Han Seonga drove away, and I trudged toward the house.
‘Hmm. I can kill some time, then head into the Tower.’
I hadn’t entered the Tower yet because of that formal contract.
Even though my debut event had been a huge occasion, there was no way I intended to delay climbing for even a single day.
I would enter the Tower even if it was late.
The citizens of the Republic of Korea should be grateful for my diligence.
* * *
After getting home, I lounged around until Hyeji arrived.
In other words, I browsed the internet.
“Jiho, are you on that damn internet again the moment you get home?”
“Sis. The whole news cycle is full of stories about me! How could I not look?”
“...I don’t think I could. I’d be too embarrassed.”
“Every citizen of King Korea is talking about this body! I should stay up all night reading it!”
Had my appearance on the broadcast been too shocking?
The news was flooded with articles about me.
[Korea’s sixth Hard-rank Hunter... But from an entirely different difficulty?]
[Claims to be from ‘Extreme Lunatic Hell’ difficulty. (Breaking)]
[U.S. President Trump boasts of his friendship with a Korean Hunter on social media.]
[“Mao Zedong was a mass murderer who killed 80 million people.” China’s response to controversial remarks?]
[Provocative language, criticism of foreign nations, an all-out war speech, and a quote from The Communist Manifesto... What the contract ceremony says about the reality of internet MZ culture.]
[Four million Points in one month? A new Hunter’s unrivaled rate of growth. Has a Hunter truly appeared from a new difficulty?]
[Is the new Hunter a hero or a villain? A review of his actions.]
[“Young people today are mentally unstable.” Psychology professor reveals the shocking reality of MZ culture.]
...
The articles kept appearing one after another.
I was pleased.
“Hehe. This body’s prestige is spreading far and wide.”
“Jiho... There are plenty of articles insulting you too.”
“That’s fine. It’s what I wanted.”
“...You wanted people to insult you?”
The more people insulted me, the more the people who liked me would like me even more!
I immediately logged into Hunter Gallery.
[These crazy trash reporters are insulting Light Light Light]
[The Hunter saving our country can be a little mentally unstable, why are you calling him crazy, fuck]
[But honestly, he is kind of weird;;]
[Even if he’s an attention seeker, he brought in 4 million Points. Instead of praising him, you assholes are whining about his behavior]
[Why are they dragging all MZ people into this!!! Blue Dot is the weird one! Not every MZ person is like that!]
[If Blue Dot goes to America because of this, will these crazy reporters take responsibility? Fuck, Torumph and Elon are already trying to lure him there, it’s seriously dangerous]
[Back in the day, Korean media bashed Hunters so hard that they immigrated. Shouldn’t we stop these bastards?]
[Shut down FFF Daily]
...
Perhaps because the media had insulted me, Hunter Gallery users were passionately defending me.
I grinned.
“You have to drive both the fans and the haters crazy. That’s exactly what it means.”
The more people insulted me, the more people would like and defend me!
Anyway.
“Should I make a post?”
I had met two presidents. This huge event had to be recorded!
I quickly wrote a post on Hunter Gallery.
[Post Title: Newbie Hunter... Went to the Blue House today...]
[Author: Blue Dot]
(A photo of a Korean course meal)
(A photo of President Trump giving a thumbs-up beside President Jang Daehan, who was wearing an awkward smile)
Newbie Hunter... went to the Blue House today...
Just like I heard, there were lots of amazing people there...
So we talked.
King Korea’s president
America’s president
I ate with these people...
Uncle Jang Daehan just looked kind of pitiful.
Maybe he’s been working too hard, but the top of his head was way too bare.
If you give this guy a Reverse-Aging Potion, will it cure his hair loss?
He’s our country’s leader, so it’s a little sad that he’s bald... He used to have a full head of hair too.
Torumph was surprisingly okay.
I think this guy and I are on the same wavelength?
It was surprising, but it felt like we could communicate.
I thought he was a real bastard for raising our tariffs, refusing to lend us Points, and withdrawing U.S. forces from Korea.
But our hobbies and values are similar.
So on a personal level, I kind of liked him...
I guess President Trump and Torumph as a person are different...
And if I visit America,
he said he’d immediately prepare an army of beautiful women in bikinis for me. Damn.
Ah, should I just go to America?
No.
This body, the Extreme Lunatic Hell Patriotic Chungmugong Hunter, can’t abandon our country!
Citizens of the Republic of Korea, rest assured.
I’m not leaving King Korea!
Though the army of beautiful girls in bikinis is lingering in my mind a little...
Oh, right!
There will be some good news for our country soon.
Those are conditions I got after making a deal with Torumph, so praise this body.
For reference, the food at the Blue House wasn’t very good...
My sister’s soybean paste stew tastes better.
As expected, my sister is the best.
└You could communicate with Torumph... Do crazy bastards just understand each other...
└Wait, you like Torumph?
└Fuck, emergency!!!!! Blue Dot might go to America!!!!
└Lord Blue Dot, please don’t abandon the Republic of Korea...
└But Blue Dot’s sister must be really good at cooking. Is it real that her soybean paste stew tastes better than a Blue House state dinner?
└This is serious enough that the president should put on a bikini and dance Zero Two himself to keep Blue Dot here.
└└What kind of horrifying visual pollution is a bald man in a bikini dancing Zero Two, you fucker? Hahaha
└But what did you talk about with Torumph?
└└Blue Dot: Nothing special. We just talked about our hobbies and bragged about our countries.
└└Hobbies? Torumph likes golf, did you talk about that?
└└Blue Dot: Nah. We talked about ragebaiting on the internet. We had a deep discussion about how to bait people. Torumph’s style is pretty unique. He capitalizes words he wants to emphasize and phrases he always says, which seems worth learning from. But Korean doesn’t have capital letters, so should I use a lot of exclamation points? Like Extreme! Lunatic! Hell! That kind of thing.
└└What kind of conversation do you have with a president where you share ways to ragebait people online, fuck
└The world is over.
└Lord Blue Dot, I’ll wear a bikini and dance Zero Two, so please don’t go to America... sob sob
└└Blue Dot: Are you a eunuch?
└└In my heart, I’m a eunuch... (still swinging)
└└Blue Dot: Ah
└Why did you show up as some kind of light?
└└Blue Dot: I wanted to show off the Holy-Hunter look I got recently, but I couldn’t control the intensity... What a shame!!! It was a chance to show my handsome face to the entire country!!!
└└Crazy hahaha
└└Didn’t you just show up like that to hide your face?
└└But he did look really holy. Did he find some kind of hidden piece in the Tower?
└└The golden glow looked kind of cool. Too bad you couldn’t see his face, fuck
└What is this ‘good news’ you mentioned?
└└Blue Dot: You’ll find out tomorrow. Praise this body for saving even our country’s economy.
└└???
└└Did the tariffs get lowered or something?
└└Like Torumph, the tariff addict, would lower them hahaha
└Why the hell did you do that interview like that? Mao Zedong, the all-out war speech, The Communist Manifesto, and saying you’d kill other countries if they messed with us, wasn’t that crossing the line...
└└Blue Dot: Didn’t China, Russia, and Japan cross the line when they tried to kidnap me? Let those fuckers invade again. I’ll kill them all, strip every artifact they have, and sell them off.
└└Just... reassuring. Light Light Light!!!
└└It sounds like pure bluff when you only read it, but it’s weird because he has the results to back it up...
└└Blue Dot!!! Save the Republic of Korea!!!
└└Light Light Light is so radiant it’s blinding...!
└└The fact is, he really was radiant and really did blind everyone... I watched TV with the curtains closed and lights off, then got flashbanged...
└Hello. This is FFF Daily. We would like to request an interview.
└└Isn’t FFF Daily the place that published an article insulting Blue Dot?
└└This crazy trash reporter has some nerve hahaha. They post an article ripping him apart, then ask the person they attacked for an interview hahaha
└└That’s ridiculous.
└└Do these people have no conscience...
└└Fuck off.
...
The comments kept pouring in.
Perhaps due to the impact of the formal contract ceremony, there were far more comments than usual.
This felt good.
As I passed the time browsing Hunter Gallery...
“Jiho, I’m here.”
-Iing Iing!
Hyeji and Iing Iing came to my house.
They had arrived on time to climb the Tower.
Hyeji looked at her phone and muttered.
“The whole world is full of stories about you, Jiho. You must be happy to be getting media attention.”
“It’s me, after all.”
“...But I never expected you to do something that insane at the Blue House. I was watching the broadcast live. Do you know how dumbfounded I was? What was that light, and why did you give that interview...”
“It’s me, after all.”
“Haah... Anyway, today is Floor 36, right?”
I nodded.
The floor I would enter this time was Floor 36.
The Laboratory Floor.
As the name suggested, it was a floor set in a facility where alchemists in the Tower researched various potions.
Of course, the loot from that floor was not very plentiful.
‘The whole laboratory burned down. They say Hunters can only occasionally find one or two potions in the burnt wreckage.’
Like the other floors, the Laboratory Floor had a burning setting.
That limited the amount of loot that could be acquired!
But who was I?
‘Extreme Lunatic Hell Firefighting Helicopter!’
With my overwhelming firefighting skills, I could extinguish the entire burning laboratory and bring back a huge number of potions!
The thought of collecting so many potions put me in a good mood.
And so, we entered the Tower.
“Enter the Tower.”
[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 36)]
[Na Hyeji (Republic of Korea: Floor 36)]
[Please select the floor you wish to enter.]
“Floor 36.”
[Entering Tower Floor 36.]
Flash!
A bright sphere of light enveloped us.
* * *
As the light faded, I slowly looked around.
What I saw was the interior of a stone building.
Large and small desks and piles of documents were scattered throughout. Strange test tubes and equipment lay about, while countless potions lined the floor and bookshelves.
I was baffled.
“What?”
This was entirely unexpected.
After all...
“Hyeji, doesn’t Tower Floor 36 usually begin inside a burning building?”
“...That’s what I heard too.”
“Then why isn’t there any fire? I haven’t even used air manipulation magic yet.”
-Iing Iing Iing!
“Iing Iing, you think the flames were scared of Jiho and went out on their own? That’s laying it on a little thick...”
Tower Floor 36, the Laboratory Floor.
Normally, it began inside a massive burning laboratory.
It was a map where you had to avoid the Ghouls attacking inside the flaming building and the Black Mages lurking throughout, escape outside, then reach the evacuation point.
Yet, for some reason, the laboratory before my eyes looked perfectly intact.
There were no flames consuming the entire building, nor any acrid smoke obscuring my vision.
It remained completely unharmed.
What was going on?
Just as I stood there in confusion...
“...This meaningless destruction has to stop!”
A voice came from outside the room.
What?
I walked out of the room.
Outside was a long hallway.
That was where I saw them.
“You’re going to kill every alchemist at the Magnus Distillery and burn down the facility? This pointless slaughter and destruction has to stop! Our enemies are the imperial family and the Empire’s nobles, who discriminate against and oppress us, not citizens and researchers!”
“Raphael, what is wrong with you? You’ve been acting strangely ever since you came back from the last battle. You keep getting in our way. Our operation is being delayed because of you!”
“I have reformed. Didn’t I tell you that I met the Prophet there...?! This meaningless slaughter and destruction must stop. He will be watching us from the heavens!”
“What absurd nonsense...! Raphael, get a hold of yourself!”
“You’re the one who needs to get a hold of yourself, Senior.”
“You dare...!”
A group of Black Mages was gathered in one corner of the hallway, making a huge commotion.
What were those guys doing?
Still, the old Black Mage called Raphael looked strangely familiar.
As I blankly watched them...
“...Who is that?!”
“Could there still be an alchemist left here?”
“Hah, you’re unlucky. If you had stayed quietly in your quarters, you would have died without even knowing it. Curse your fate, for you will die painfully!”
They finally noticed me.
The Black Mages swiftly pulled out their staffs.
Maybe I had stared too openly.
Then...
“...Prophet!”
The Black Mage who had noticed me, the one called Raphael, brightened when he saw my face.
That was absolutely the reaction of someone who knew me.
Could it be?
‘Is he... the Black Mage I forgot to kill on Floor 35?’
Now that I looked closely, his face did seem similar.
It really looked like he was the Black Mage I had failed to kill on Floor 35.
I was startled.
‘Wait... Does that mean time inside the Tower is continuous?!’
If that guy remembered me, did that mean the person on Floor 36 had inherited the memories from Floor 35?!
While I was shocked by this unexpected secret...
“Prophet? That guy is the Prophet? Hah! Don’t be ridiculous. That scrawny-looking fool can’t be the Prophet. You fell for a dumb scammer, Raphael.”
“It’s true, Senior! That person is truly the great Prophet who descended from the heavens...”
“Nonsense! I’ll kill that guy right now! Then you’ll come back to your senses.”
“Senior!”
A very old Black Mage pulled out his staff, while Raphael desperately tried to stop him.
Those guys were acting like they were in some comedy skit. What a pathetic mess.
I should kill them quickly.
I pointed my staff forward.
Then a thought occurred to me.
‘Wait. Could I use this somehow?’
That Black Mage called Raphael.
After seeing me use magic, black magic, and divine power at the same time, he had mistaken me for some kind of Prophet.
Wouldn’t the other Black Mages there react similarly?
Let’s test it.
“Ahem! You dare point a staff at this body, the Extreme Lunatic Hell Heaven Prophet! Insolent fools!”
“...Is that guy insane? I’ll kill him right...”
“Watch closely.”
I drew up the Blue Motes within my body.
First, magic.
“I have a magic.”
Hummmmm!
I casually formed a spell in my right hand.
What I summoned was a blue orb of lightning.
-Crack! Crackle! Crack!
Blue sparks flashed and scattered bolts of lightning in every direction.
The Black Mages’ eyes widened in shock.
“What...! Chantless casting?! And that quickly?”
“He’s at least a fifth-circle mage! This is dangerous!”
“...Damn it! Deploy defensive magic immediately!”
They scrambled about in a panic.
Ignoring them, I cast the next spell.
“I have a Black Magic.”
I manifested black magic in my left hand.
It was a Magic Bullet.
I reversed mana’s phase and built up the arrangement, just as the Black Mages did, then floated a Magic Bullet before them.
-Rumble...!
A black Magic Bullet rose over my left hand, radiating a grim aura.
“What...? Black magic?!”
“Could he be a Black Mage?”
“He’s an ally! Lower your staffs!”
When I used black magic, the Black Mages lowered their staffs in relief.
So, if I showed them black magic, I could pretend to be their ally.
I should remember that.
I cast the next spell.
“Oh, divine magic!”
Having shown them magic and black magic, the next was divine magic.
In other words, I cast Blessing on myself!
-Flaaash!
Golden radiance burst brightly forth.
Warm, holy light drove away the dim darkness and illuminated the gloomy hallway with a brilliant glow.
The instant I cast divine magic, the Black Mages’ eyes widened.
“What? That really is divine power...?!”
“A human can wield magic, black magic, and divine power all at once?!”
“How could that...!”
They cried out in disbelief.
Their eyes shook violently from shock.
I spoke solemnly to them.
“I am Baek Jiho, the Extreme Lunatic Hell Heaven Prophet. Reveal at once where useful items can be found. Potions, artifacts, hidden pieces. Strip every valuable thing clean and offer it to me, the Prophet!”
If these guys thought I was some sort of Prophet, it would be easy to find hidden artifacts and valuable loot.
If I was lucky, I might even find a hidden piece.
In other words...
Operation: Pretend to Be a Prophet and Scam the Black Mages.
It had begun!
Footnotes:
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