WE TRIED TLS

Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer

Chapter 186 | If I Can Remain Here (2)

Clang!

Berserk curled her fingers unconsciously as she watched the two blades clash against each other.

Could she win? She instinctively questioned herself like that.

“There must be a reason why the Temple officer is doing this…”

“Hmm. Is this right, though? No matter how I look at it…”

“Doesn’t it seem like that guy’s holding back?”

“So I’m not the only one who thinks that, huh?”

Of course, this question wasn’t something she could answer easily. The Demon Knight was someone of incomparable strength, after all.

“Didn’t they… mention something about a Demon?”

“Did they? Doesn’t really look like it, though.”

“Maybe this adventurer just said something to offend the inquisitor?”

However, did she feel defeated by the difference in strength? If asked that question, she could only answer: not exactly.

To her, the Demon Knight’s overwhelming strength didn’t come from some manner of battle sense or the technique he’d trained in, but the vast amount of Arcane Power he possessed.

“That’s probably it, but… it’s a bit hard to see that guy as just some adventurer, right? His clothes look like those of a noble, and his fighting style…”

“Seems like a knight’s.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Ah, that didn’t mean the Demon Knight relied solely on Arcane Power to fight or would be nothing without it.

In her experience, even without that insane volume of Arcane Power, the Demon Knight could probably defeat most powerful opponents.

“If he’s not a knight, who is? Even an inquisitor known as the Grim Reaper of the Temple can’t stand up against him. There’s a reason Munmund still stands tall.”

All she wanted to say was this.

What made the Demon Knight so out of the norm was his exceptional Arcane Power, but if they were to fight with pure skill without any Arcane Power, she might win.

No, she would definitely win.

“Scary… We should make sure to stay far away from that guy.”

“But seriously. Why are a knight and an inquisitor fighting here?”

“No clue. Maybe that knight is a Demon Worshiper… or something?”

“…That can’t be.”

But what about now?

Was she still sure she could win?

He really was a true genius. He changed his posture in a single breath and corrected his sword’s trajectory in the next.

“…”

Was the reason his swordsmanship had stagnated up to this point due to the convenience of Arcane Power?

Could “Berserk” win?

“…Step aside.”

“Huh…? Y-yes.”

“Move aside, get out of the way.”

“Ah, why are you… One second, I’ll step away.”

Berserk swallowed hard as she heard the voice echoing inside her mind and watched his sword become freer and lighter with every passing moment.

She couldn’t win anymore.

“Out of the way!”

“Uwargh!”

“Isn’t that woman a Sland?”

“S-she’s a giant.”

And when that sword finally moved with composure, when it effortlessly sliced through the opponent's weapon as if trying to leave without any regrets…

She stepped forward into the empty space the crowd had steered clear of.

“That’s enough. You’ve lost.”

It was an utter defeat.

For her.

For “Berserk.”

“Damn it, Sister! Why aren't you stepping in?!”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Brother!”

“That Demon Contractor over—!”

After she had stepped in, the Inquisitor followed suit.

With that inquisitor subdued, the Demon Knight turned away without any regrets. It was as if what just happened had no effect on him.

It made sense. To him, this was just a common occurrence, a trivial disturbance unworthy of his attention.

“…”

He wasn’t wrong. No, that was definitely the right way to go about it.

Words with no power behind them were merely empty echoes.

“A Demon Contractor? Are you talking about the Demon Knight?”

“Who else could I mean?! Sister, you can surely feel all that Demonic Energy, right—!?”

For that reason, Berserk threw that still-ranting man to the ground. “Urgh!” Since he was only wearing a cuirass and not full plate, he likely wouldn’t be able to get up from that so easily.

Not that she had any reason to let that guy off lightly.

“Berserk?”

“I’m leaving, Priest.”

After all, courage and mere recklessness were completely different things. While the resolve to fight to the end and the stubbornness to not admit defeat came from the same place, they were subtly different, crucially different. It was an unbridgeable gap that could never be closed.

Which was why… she hated the latter with all her heart. It was just so foolish.

“Y-yes.”

“Hold on, you seem to be that man’s accomplice. Where do you think you’re going…?”

“Erm, Brother. Let’s just talk about this first…”

“What good does talking do?! There’s evil walking among us!”

Just as she’d once been.

『You think what you’re doing now is right, don’t you? You probably think this is the best you can do.』

Berserk stopped walking without even realizing it.

『You’re wrong. What you’re doing right now is one of the most foolish things you could ever do.』

Then, the teaching of the one she most hated and was the most grateful to echoed in her mind. That was what made her stop in her tracks.

『Remember. The reason you couldn’t protect anything was because of your weakness, and the reason you’re still alive is because I, a strong person, showed you mercy.』

Her enemy.

『Why did I show you mercy? Well, first of all, because I’m kind-hearted, and second, because you’re useful.』

And her mentor.

『What? You don’t believe me? Then what are you going to do about it? Do you really think reality will change just because you don’t believe something? Cut the nonsense. I’ve proven my mercifulness enough by the fact I’m tolerating you.』

Someone long dead.

『Got it? The ability of the powerful to show restraint should be proof enough of their character. Whether it’s innate goodness, ulterior motives, or whatever!』

They were the teachings of the one she’d killed.

『So drop that pathetic attitude and focus on becoming stronger. Get strong enough to kill me before I run out of patience and kill you.』

But as she recalled these words, a question appeared in her mind.

She still remembered that person’s teachings clearly, so why, just why was Berserk still so weak?

Even after killing her enemy and mentor and being given the honorable title of Berserk, why was she still so very weak, not much different from back then?

Because you never accepted that contradiction.

“…I.”

You can still remember the anger, but you forgot its source. That’s why you’re still so weak.

“Berserk isn’t weak.”

Really? Do you really think that?

The truth was always painful, more than cutting your stomach open with a sword or slowly grinding your bones to dust.

“Berserk… isn’t weak.”

…Just how long will you keep this up?

“If you have any complaints, do it yourself. Berserk won’t budge.”

With that, Berserk rubbed her eyes.

“I’m never going to budge.”

And then, she closed her eyes again.

She saw a face she knew all too well.

* * *

WE TRIED TLS

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After wandering around for quite a while, I finally found an inn with a stable. It seemed many merchants frequented it.

“Look at that horse…”

“Whoa… That’s definitely no ordinary breed…”

“…If I asked that guy to have it mate with my mare, he’d probably say no, right?”

“Of course. It’s not even breeding season yet.”

However, with so many people coming and going, and Frederick being quite conspicuous, I couldn’t help but worry someone might try to steal him.

Snooort.

“…Seems I was worried for nothing.”

Well. If anyone did try to steal him, they’d probably get kicked into oblivion. I felt like I could let go of some of that worry.

“If anyone other than me or the stable hand approaches you, kick them. Kick them as hard as you can with your hind legs.”

Neeeigh.

Still, just in case, I offered him some apples, carrots, and blueberries while earnestly instructing him.

A kick from a horse could break multiple ribs or even lead to death, but there was nothing I could do about that. The security here was a bit too lax for my liking, and if someone actually stole him, I had hardly any way to recover him.

“Alright.”

I tipped the young stable hand quite generously and warned him firmly.

I even told him I’d pay him double if Frederick was satisfied when we left. Hearing that, he eagerly promised that I could leave it to him with sparkling eyes.

For some reason, he seemed far more dependable than some adults I’d come across.

“Right. Do you perhaps know of any decent restaurant with affordable food around here?”

“…It would be a bit strange to recommend the inn that employs me, wouldn’t it?”

I guess so… The room rates were also pretty expensive…

“Hmm, there is one spot I know of…”

Fortunately, the young stable hand was keenly aware of the value of the coins in his hand. It seemed he knew a place that was both decent and cheap.

“Thank you.”

I added a little bit to his tip as payment for the information. If the first tip was to ensure he took good care of Frederick, this one was for the recommendation.

“Ah, again…! I-if you have any other questions about the city, feel free to ask! I’ll find out everything you want me to!”

The stable hand looked as if he was about to die of joy. Money really was the best motivator after all.

“Have a nice day!!”

It would be good if I did.

With the most urgent matter taken care of, I could finally wash up and get a bite to eat. It would be even better if I could order some lunch boxes at that place as well.

“The fruits and vegetables here have been unusually fresh recently. The dry season hasn’t even ended yet.”

“Really? They look the same to me.”

“How do you even manage to stay alive with those poor observation skills?”

“Is it that big of a deal? Why are you nagging me…?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to marry that greengrocer’s daughter, you idiot!!”

Then, while I was on my way back to the inn, I caught sight of a woman landing a flying kick on a guy who took it directly.

I didn’t know whether they were siblings or friends, but they certainly seemed close.

“Wow, this is the first time I actually feel bad for Sasha.”

“Wait… why are you bringing up Sasha now…?”

“Isn’t it obvious? The only vegetable stores with a young girl around our age are ours and Sasha’s.”

“…No, well, hah.”

“Wait, or is it Marlene? In that case, you might want to think it over. She’s not a bad person, but… well, her personality is a bit…”

“I’m about to lose it here…”

Ah, so they were friends. Though, one of them might be hoping for a relationship a bit deeper than friendship.

“Enough of that. Come on, I’ll show you how to pick good quality fruits and vegetables. No matter whether it’s Sasha or Marlene, do you think anyone who works at a vegetable store would want to marry someone who doesn’t even know the basics?”

“…You too?”

“Of course! I absolutely wouldn’t be able to stand that!”

“Okay. I’ll come along, okay?”

I figured if I discreetly followed those two, I might be able to score some quality fruits and vegetables. As they practiced differentiating the good from the bad, they’d probably point out the best ones, so I would only have to pick those.

Pushing aside the discomfort I felt—honestly, I wasn’t doing anything that bad by this world’s standards…—I followed the pair closely.

My goal was to get some snacks for Frederick.

“Urgh, how would you even manage without me?”

“No idea. I might as well die, right?”

“Are you kidding right now? You should be thinking about becoming more independent, not about suddenly dying!”

“Why are you nagging me again…?”

Their banter reminded me, unconsciously, of my parents.

“Geez. Seriously. When will you finally become more independent?”

“Can’t I just stay with you forever?”

“What? Do you want me to spend my whole life just taking care of you? Why would I want that? I also want to start dating properly!”

“…Dating?”

“Yeah, dating! With someone handsome! Strong! And knowledgeable about vegetables!”

The reason they reminded me a little of them wasn’t anything spectacular. The way that man whined and the girl unintentionally shot him down was a lot like my parents.

To me, my father might have seemed rather strict and stoic… but in front of my mother, he turned into the world’s clumsiest romantic.

“…I have a pretty good build as well.”

“You? Yeah, sure. But I… want to meet someone at least bigger than my brother. It would be nice if he were at least as well built as Uncle Jean.”

“Uncle Jean is a Shaggi, though…!”

“So? You need to be at least that strong to carry things properly.”

And what about my mother? She was the kind of person to notice immediately if my father ever forgot so much as a scarf, but she somehow could never catch on to a single hint he dropped. It made her seem as if an unbreakable barrier was around her.

But whenever my father started to feel upset about it, she would always surprise him with various gestures to lift his spirits before he even had a chance to sulk.

The most amazing thing about all this was that she never even planned on doing that. It all just happened by chance.

“…I guess I’m completely hopeless then.”

“What? Did what I said discourage you? Don’t worry! Sure, you might be a bit scrawny by my standards, but… you’re definitely the best-looking around these parts. Be confident!”

“…Really?”

“Really, really! And you know I have quite high standards, right?”

“I do. So…”

Feeling lost in nostalgia at the sight of those two young people bantering, I eventually came to a stop. I couldn’t bring myself to follow them any further.

“…Maybe I should just confess already.”

“Huh? Confess?”

“I mean, if you still don’t get it after I dropped so many hints, I’ll just have to whisper it into your ear…”

“What? What hints???”

“…I’m seriously about to go crazy.”

“Ah, What? Tell me already!!”

I… couldn’t follow them any longer.

Looking at those two was enough to make me realize how much I missed my parents.

“Schutz! You’re only allowed to play in front of Dad’s ship! Don’t wander off, okay?!”

“Yesss!!”

“Louise! Stop slacking off and help out at the store! You’re old enough to help us out!!”

“Ah, Mom, come on. I was supposed to meet Lenny today!”

No, actually, I was always missing them.

Especially in these moments when I noticed a child being seen off by their family or a grown adult still clinging to their parents simply because they were family. Every moment I saw these kinds of scenes.

I felt it even more distinctly these days.

“Erm… mister. Are you crying?”

“…!”

At that moment, a child came running down the street and approached me. That was quite unexpected. Both the kid approaching me and the question he asked.

“Why are you crying? Did something sad happen?”

“I…”

I was about to say I wasn’t crying when I felt something rolling down my cheek. A tear.

“Don’t cry. My mom says that crying scares all the good luck away. And if your luck runs away, you won’t be able to eat any yummy food, and, erm, get presents, and, uhm…”

“Schutz? Schutz?”

“Ah, Dad!!”

“What are you doing here?! This isn’t in front of the shop, urgh!”

How embarrassing. And a complete character break.

I slowly lowered myself as I looked at the tear that had fallen into my palm. My eyes then met the child’s. He briefly looked back at his father before turning back to me, his grayish-brown hair fluttering.

“Dad, this mister is crying… Erm, mister, there are even more tears now. That’s not good…”

Tap. The child’s soft hands touched my cheeks. Behind him, his father hurried over, his face completely pale, as if afraid his child might get hurt.

“Please don’t cry.”

“…Okay.”

It was so warm and soft.

“Wait, wait. I’m sorry, did my child make some sort of mistake…?”

“Nuh-uh. I didn’t do anything wrong. Right, mister?”

And maybe because of that… I wanted to cry even more.

“…No, he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“See! Dad is a dummy!”

“I-is that so? That’s a relief, then…”

I wished I had parents who’d come running over to me like that.

Even though I was already in my thirties, I still desperately wished for that.

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