WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

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◈ Omniscient First-Person's Viewpoint

Chapter 37

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The Underground Castle

No ambition, no sense of urgency. No matter how much I explained, they just shrugged and let it wash over them. That particular frustration, the kind only someone who has tried to teach people can understand, tightened around my chest.

Not a single one of them felt anything?

The regressor had been standing there with her arms crossed the whole time. Finally she opened her mouth. Oh, what question was she going to ask?

"Why are you telling us this?"

A sigh. Not a question. An interrogation. Exactly what you'd expect from someone in the terminal stages of chronic paranoia.

I didn't bother hiding my disappointment.

"You're unhappy even when I tell you things?"

"Can't be helped. Tantalus is a level-five classified facility. The structural layout of a military state classified site would require at minimum a matching security clearance. Yet you're casually relaying this to trainees with zero clearance whatsoever. That's a five-level breach of confidentiality. What's your reason?"

Tell her something and she still finds fault. How did anyone get through life suspecting everything? Just take it with a "how interesting" like the vampire, why couldn't she?

The regressor didn't look like she'd back down without a proper answer. I gave her the short version.

"Because you need to know this to have a sense of ownership."

"Ownership?"

"That's right. You're aware of yesterday's Resistance attack, I take it?"

"And?"

A casual "and?" The anger rose. I turned on her and shouted.

"Am I the only one using this place? The only one protecting it? Somehow, for some deeply unfair reason, I seem to be the only one actually doing anything. But you all live here too, so could you please care even a little? The ground was about to literally cave in and everyone was just lounging around in their rooms. What on earth do you think you're doing?"

They needed to understand that the ground beneath their feet could drop away at any moment. Only then would they feel the urgency to stop it.

"The one who went to collect the supply crates? Me. The one who discovered the Resistance early? Me. The one who stopped their plan? Also me. I was the only one holding the bag. All by myself!"

"That's your job, isn't it?"

"Survival is everyone's job! If I'm not there to save you, you're just going to die?"

"Have you ever actually saved my life?"

"Good point! Do you have any idea what the Resistance that broke in yesterday was planning? Look at this!"

I strode up to the chalkboard and erased both ends of the Tantalus diagram with my fingers, then dragged a piece of chalk in a straight line through the center.

"Here! The other side! The center! Three bombs, set at all three points and detonated at once, to split Tantalus straight down the middle and send the whole thing crashing down!"

I slammed the board once. The chalk drawing of Tantalus shuddered, dusting powder across the floor. With the ends already erased, the delicately balanced structure began to tilt. A massive framework knocked out of alignment, its own weight becoming its greatest enemy. And into that weakness, an explosion at the very center, like a wedge driven into a crack.

At that, the regressor exhaled.

"Oh."

'Tantalus... this is how it fell?'

Tantalus wouldn't hold. Split straight down the middle, it would fall into the depths below. The Tantalus in the drawing crumbled, just like that.

I knocked on the board again, hard. The regressor came back from her thoughts.

"Yes? The ground right beneath your feet was about to end up like this! All of you were standing around and didn't even show up until it was already over! If I hadn't stepped in, every one of you, myself included, would have been lost in the Abyss forever! Am I wrong?"

The regressor, who'd been holding that defensive posture the whole time, finally caved. Her arms dropped. She turned her gaze slightly to the side and let the words out.

"...You're right. Fine."

"Grateful or not?"

"Not to the point of saying thank... you. You did it to save yourself too."

Pride intact, right to the bitter end. She couldn't even manage a single thank-you.

"Wow. Someone was apparently thrilled to have a sparring partner when actual intruders were breaking in. How does your mind work?"

"?! Wh, how did you..."

"How did I know? You think I wouldn't? A fully armed man walked straight toward the first floor, and a good while later trainee Shei came back holding his head. With trainee Shei's abilities, he could lop a head off in one swing. So why spend all that time fighting?"

"Th, that's because I needed real combat experience."

"So you risk your own life for combat experience? The other intruders were setting up bombs at the same time! That kind of complacency is exactly what creates crises like this. The only reason Tantalus is still in one piece is that I dealt with it in time!"

Every word was airtight. The regressor tried, on pure defensive instinct, to find some flaw in my argument. No matter how hard she looked, she couldn't. She clicked her tongue and gave in.

"Fine, I get it. I'll step up next time."

"Good! Make sure to remember that!"

From the flash of memory I'd glimpsed from the regressor, there would be at least a few more people infiltrating this place in the future. And among them, probably someone significant enough to have a hand in the end of the world.

Me, stop that? Not a chance. Impossible, and I had no intention of trying. It had already cost me my neck just to deal with Kanisen and the rest of the Resistance. Why on earth would I want to face something worse?

"From now on, whoever drops into this place, you all handle it yourselves. Don't put it off thinking someone else will step in. Whoever spots them first deals with them! Understood?"

If I were the only one here, maybe. But with a regressor and the Progenitor of vampires right beside me, why was I the one doing all the work? People with strength should be putting that strength to use. That was just common sense.

"If some bad actor drops in next time, I won't lift so much as a finger!"

Good. Now I had grounds to run when the next intruder showed up. One free pass on being blamed. A precious thing to acquire. Next time someone came, I'd just stretch out next to the undying race's detached limbs and play dead.

I was in the middle of plotting my escape route when the vampire tilted her head and spoke.

"Aren't you being a touch dramatic about yesterday's events?"

"Dr, dramatic?"

So nearly dying counted as being dramatic now? I couldn't get my mouth to close. The vampire went a step further.

"You resolved everything that happened yesterday with ease. Cleared it up neat as rinsing your mouth after a meal, yet here you are complaining."

"Rinsing my mouth?"

Was she actually under the impression I'd handled the Resistance effortlessly?

Being overestimated was fine in principle. But the moment it became a reason to dump more work on me, it turned into a cursed set of shackles. I waved my hands in a panic.

"Please, stop overestimating me. Unlike the rest of you, I'm an ordinary person with exactly one life. I don't walk away from bullets like trainee Tyrkanzyaka, and I don't have all kinds of strange tools like trainee Shei. All I have is this one body!"

"Indeed. And yet that one body handled three of them, without spilling a single drop of blood."

"What does three matter? Two of them were nobodies, and even the third was nothing impressive! It wasn't dangerous at all! I'm just not that remarkable!"

"Your final opponent was unmistakably a knight. You subdued and restrained that knight without taking a single wound yourself. When I felt his death, there was only one wound on his body, and that was the one you delivered at the end."

"That was..."

"And you stand a step above Shei, do you not? Those who are stronger and stand higher have always been obligated to bear greater burdens."

Disaster.

The vampire genuinely believed I was a cut above the regressor.

Knowing nothing of the modern world, she had become completely receptive to every scrap of outside information and stimulus. If I told her the military state's headquarters had split open and a massive arcane golem had come flying across the sky, she'd believe every word. Like a freshly hatched chick taking in the world for the very first time.

"If you hold the title of instructor, you should step forward and lead. Those who serve the state must walk ahead of the people, don't you think?"

Still the same lecturing spirit, not an ounce of it lost, and turning it all on me.

Her thinking I was strong was one thing. That much I had partially engineered myself. But being put on a pedestal this high was dangerous.

If the misunderstanding cleared, they'd resent me for the deception. If it didn't, I'd be pushed into life-threatening situations. Either way, a problem.

The higher you climbed, the harder you fell. Something had to be done. Time to let some air out.

At least the regressor had good instincts. Maybe she'd pick up on the truth before long.

'Subdued a knight without a scratch? And unarmed at that? ...Could I do that? No. Not in my current state with my body still incomplete. I hate to admit it, but... he seems stronger than me. For now.'

Don't judge by what you hear! Watch me fight for yourself before you decide. If you hate admitting it, use your own eyes to confirm it!

Stay here any longer and I'd end up as destiny's bodyguard for the regressor. No choice. Emergency exit.

I pressed my nails against the chalkboard and dragged them down. The skin-crawling screech made the regressor wince, the vampire's brow furrow, and Azzy, who had been lying flat on her belly asleep at the back, yelp and leap straight up from the floor.

Secret technique: chalkboard scraping.

A forbidden art for breaking an unfavorable conversation and buying an exit with a truly terrible noise. I had their attention. I shouted.

"Let's go with a rotation then. I handled this one, right? Next time some bad actor breaks in, one of you deals with it yourselves! That's all!"

"Bark! Bark bark! Bark!"

Then Azzy started barking furiously at me. What now?

"Grr! Bark! Bark bark!"

A rough guess: she was furious about being woken up by the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

A dog's hearing surpassed a human's by dozens of times over, and in Azzy's case, as the King of Dogs, she could catch a whisper from the far end of Tantalus. The only reason she didn't react to every little sound was that she was slow-witted enough to have learned to tune out meaningless noise. If I muttered the word "mutt" from anywhere in Tantalus, she'd hear it no matter where she was standing, and her tail would stiffen as her teeth came out.

Against a dog like that, a noise attack landed with devastating effect. Thinking about it, I felt just a little, maybe one dog-hair's worth of guilt.

But I was a human. Couldn't be the first to bow my head to a dog. I stiffened my neck and met her glare head-on.

"Who told you to sleep in class? And you've been scratching your claws on the concrete this whole time, so a human can't scratch a chalkboard? What are you going to do about it? You going to rebel?"

"Grr! Bark!"

That was a yes.

Unacceptable. A dog, rising up against a human. How insolent. Time to show her the fundamental difference between us.

I raised both hands toward Azzy and put on a clumsy smile.

"Actually, now that I think about it, I do feel a little bad. How about we call it even here?"

What humans could do that dogs couldn't: talk and give ground. I extended an olive branch to a dog.

It worked exactly as well as you'd expect.

"Bark!"

The livestock rebellion came too fast to counter. Azzy launched herself across the room. Before I could register it, something had my shoulders and I went rolling across the floor with her. When I came back to my senses, I was pinned flat on my back in a full mount.

She hadn't come to attack, apparently, because no claws came out. She was just pressing down with her full weight. That alone was enough to make me completely immobile. Iron stakes through my shoulders would have felt about the same.

How anyone could watch this happen daily and still think of me as strong was beyond me. Everyone had to be blind.

Still, I couldn't look like I'd been defeated by a dog. That was a matter of human dignity.

Still pinned, I spoke.

"Class dismissed for today. Everyone head out."

The vampire picked up her parasol and perched atop her coffin. The pitch-black coffin floated up as it always did, carrying her toward the door.

"Very well. That was entertaining."

"It wasn't meant to be entertaining. Out you go. I need to teach this dog a lesson."

I held Azzy's gaze for a moment. Those eyes were full of grievance. The nerve of this creature, staging a full-on revolt over a bit of chalkboard scratching. I'd show her.

The regressor had been following the vampire out but stopped mid-stride. Her gaze turned toward me and Azzy.

'Are they going to fight? If I watch these two go at it for real, I'd get a rough read on his strength. Hmm. Worth sticking around a moment.'

"What are you doing? Enjoying the show? Either get this dog off me or leave."

I waved her off from where I was lying. The regressor swallowed whatever sound she'd been about to make and looked away.

'Guarded as ever. He doesn't want to show all of his strength.'

Wrong. It meant there was no strength to show. Nothing to watch here, so just go.

I kept waving. The regressor swallowed her frustration and turned.

"Fine. Work it out between yourselves."

She turned and stepped out. With a heavy thud, the thick tin door shut behind her.

A brief silence.

Then, from just beyond the door, a thread of thought reached me.

'All-seeing eyes. Green Eye...'

"Telling you to leave doesn't mean leave and then watch from outside, trainee Shei. Peeping is hardly dignified behavior, so head off before you embarrass yourself further!"

The regressor flinched hard, then used her wind-steps or whatever it was, and sprinted down the hallway without making a sound.

'Th, this isn't running away. Right. I'm just pretending to be outside so I can wait for a better chance later. One step back for two steps forward.'

"Pretending to be outside," she says. I could feel everything. Apparently regression had spoiled her into always taking the easy way out. Old habits.

Either way, the only one left beside me was Azzy, teeth bared, firmly mounted on top of me. I'd been paying her no attention this whole time, and she'd been growing more and more aggressively vocal about it.

"Everyone gone?"

Grrrrr.

"Yep. Seems like it."

Satisfied that no stray thoughts were reaching me, I looked straight up into the eyes fixed on me with full hostility.

With more sincerity and resolve than I'd felt in a long time:

"I'm sorry, Azzy. I won't do it again."

Grr.

"Come on, let it go. I forgot you were there. I didn't know you hated that sound so much."

"Bark!"

"There, there. Good girl, good girl. Puppy. Puppy. Good puppy who doesn't stay angry."

"Woof, woof!"

"You know I love you, right? Come on, I'll pet you. Move your paws."

"Bark!"

Azzy lifted her front paws from my shoulders and spun around in place. The way her ears twitched could only mean she wanted them scratched. What a queen.

With a grunt, I pushed myself upright and settled her into my lap, running my fingers through her messy fur. A few passes and she was already melting, rumbling softly.

"Hah. Life."

"Bark!"

"I'm really glad my life has a dog like you in it."

"Bark bark!"

That's what I said, but honestly, if I had to pick the single best return among everyone left in Tantalus, it was Azzy.

Not a question of preference. A question of return on investment.

Where else would you find a creature this dim yet this consistently rewarding? Even when I upset her, a few soft words and a lap to sit in was all it took to fix things. Compared to managing the vampire and the regressor, she was effortless.

Sure, I cooked for her, walked her, played with her. But what was that, really?

Sure, she grumbled constantly and barked at me every time something rubbed her the wrong way. But what was that, really?

And sure, when it came to actual fights with humans, she was completely useless.

But what was that, really?

...Wait.

Maybe this dog was actually the most useless one of all?

Too late to cut her loose, though. I'd already put in too much. Swallowing what were definitely not tears, I raised my hand and added today's upkeep to the fuzzy little ball of sunk costs.

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