WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 60: Proper Conduct

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I felt the regressor's sharp gaze. Calm down already. It's just a simulation.

In any case, Azzy didn't feel any sense of danger and answered honestly.

"Bark? Are you going to play with me? Ball! Let's play!"

Ah, no. That would mean I had to do all the work in the end. I hurriedly changed the subject.

"No, no. I'm a kind, weak, and good Puppet Man. Aren't you adorable?"

"Bark! Thanks! You, um, don't look tasty!"

"Do you like tasty things?"

"Yep! I like tasty things!"

"Really? Cute children deserve candy. Would you like some candy from mister?"

"Candy? Bark? Is it food?"

"Of course. It's food. A magical little bead with a refreshing scent and fruity flavor that grows sweeter the more you eat it. Every time you lick it, a fresh and heavenly sensation will coat your tongue and fill your mouth."

Drool burst from Azzy's salivary glands. Excited by the thought alone, she spun in circles on the spot and shouted.

"Bark! I want it! I want it!"

"Then shall we go somewhere secluded, where no one's eyes can reach us? Follow mister, and I'll give you candy."

"Bark! Let's go!"

"Khehehe. Come along. Mister will show you something nice..."

"Bark bark! Nice things! I like them!"

When I moved Puppet Man, Azzy happily circled him as she followed. She looked ready to go wherever Puppet Man led her, without a shred of suspicion.

The regressor, who had quietly watched the scene, gripped Skywarbler.

"Heavenly Sword Aura, Wind Blade."

The wind blew. A thin, condensed gust flew toward Puppet Man like a blade. I read the regressor's thoughts and hurriedly moved my hands, but Puppet Man, hanging from strings, could only react a beat too late.

The sword aura struck the golem. Puppet Man, who had been about to lead Azzy away, had every joint broken apart by the regressor's cruel attack. His severed arms and legs dangled pitifully from the strings.

"Ah! Puppeeet Maaaan!"

"Bark! Candy!"

The marionette I'd painstakingly made by tying together broken golem parts and string! Do you know how hard I'd worked on every last stitch?!

"Candy..."

Azzy stared down at Puppet Man with the face of someone who had lost her whole world. The way she poked him, hoping he might get back up, was unbearably pitiful.

I twisted my face into a vicious scowl and snapped my head around.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Even after committing destruction of property and obstruction of official duties, the regressor answered calmly.

"What do you think? I punished a criminal trying to lure a child away with candy."

"Don't get so immersed in it! This is only a simulation! I was using Azzy as a cautionary example, that's all!"

"Then make it unpleasant in a reasonable way! When you laugh like that, I can't help but strike!"

"What's wrong with Puppet Man's laugh? Where else could you find such a kind laugh?"

Furious, I threw Puppet Man aside and shouted.

"Puppet Man was simply a kind-hearted man who lost his child too soon and lived for the joy of handing out candy to children! He gave Azzy candy because she reminded him of his daughter. It was an unconscious act!"

"You said it was a simulation! Don't put weird settings into the simulation!"

"You murderer! First the child, then the father too! You have neither blood nor tears! Did a vampire drink every drop of blood from you?!"

The vampire, who had been quietly listening, added a few words.

"I have never drunk Shei's blood. I have only taken a little when she bled during training."

"Then is this violence inborn?! Such barbarity, unable to tolerate even a simulation! I don't need to see any more!"

I raised my chalk, wrote Shei's name on the blackboard, and drew a large X over it. Under the reason, I wrote: excessive barbarity and aggression, insufficient patience.

"You..."

"Oh? Are you angry? Can't you control your rage? Do you feel like resorting to violence despite the majesty of the law and the continued existence of morality? Then you fail!"

After setting up a double bind, I roughly cleared away the shattered puppet. I tossed one of Puppet Man's ribs to Azzy, who still couldn't give up on the candy.

Then I turned and continued my explanation.

"On the other hand, even if the other person doesn't have bad intentions, you shouldn't follow them in a situation like this. You aren't mind readers, so you can't know what they intend. You could be in physical danger if you follow them, so you should never accept requests like that. Though immediately cutting them down like trainee Shei is a little much."

Crunch.

As I spoke, I heard steel beams being crushed over there. Azzy had bitten down on Puppet Man's steel frame. I didn't know why it made such a crunching sound when she had only given it a light bite.

When I looked over, Azzy had just realized what it was and was spitting out the crushed metal frame with a disappointed expression.

I turned back around.

"Of course, if you have the physical strength to chew through steel, it's fine to follow them. That's why I don't say anything to Azzy."

The regressor sat with her arms crossed, looking like a delinquent.

'Now that the stupid puppet is broken, he'll wrap this up soon enough, right?'

Not a chance. I immediately went out into the hallway, picked up the supplies I'd brought, and returned. It was a mannequin made from the frame of the military gear the regressor had smashed last time.

Its visor, where a face should have been, bore a human face I'd drawn. I tapped the mannequin with its line-drawn eyes and thick lips, then said,

"Anyway, Puppet Man can't be used anymore, so we'll use Mr. Mane, the mannequin I brought for just such an occasion. Mr. Mane is a handsome young man with charming dimples on both cheeks."

'Is he actually insane...?'

"Now, trainee Shei will give it a try! Will Mr. Mane be able to protect his right arm against trainee Shei?!"

'Who does he think is the real lunatic? Fine. I'll show him!'

The regressor stomped over to stand before me. A positive attitude.

I waved the mannequin's hand to greet her.

"You have a good aura about you. Do you know the Way?"

"The Way? What nonsense are you talking about?"

"How could you call it nonsense! Are you saying you truly don't know the Way?"

'Keep talking.'

The regressor crossed her arms and glared at me over the mannequin. Ignoring that, I spread the mannequin's arms wide in an exaggerated gesture, like a cheap puppet show.

"Everything in creation has its own Way. It is the path we ought to walk and a signpost pointing toward the destination we should reach. This isn't limited to humans. Since ancient times, heaven, earth, and humanity have been said to exist in harmony. Mother Earth is infinitely merciful to humanity, carving away her own flesh to bestow all manner of gifts upon us. We drink Mother Earth's milk, take her fruits, and carve away her flesh to make all things. That led us to prosperity. But Father Celestial God cannot tolerate our audacity in challenging the gods, and takes such things back with rain and wind, floods and lightning."

Normally, listeners lost focus when a speech grew too long. Yet the regressor suddenly listened to me seriously.

Hey, I was just making this up. Why are you paying such close attention?

'Why is he suddenly saying this? Is there some hidden meaning in his words? Better listen for now, just in case.'

This one had a screw loose in a strange way too. Just a moment ago, she was complaining, and now she wanted to listen first?

She changed more than summer weather. Even I, a mind reader, couldn't dare predict her.

Sighing inwardly, I continued.

"Thus, humanity came to love Mother and fear Father. Put another way, humanity takes Mother lightly and respects Father. This is the Way of heaven, earth, and humanity. The sky and earth, and the path of humanity caught between them."

"And?"

"O one with open ears, one who dissolves all things like water. Meeting you must be heaven's will. Yet this world is full of lies and deceit, where everyone sees everyone else as prey, so I resent myself for being unable to trust you without testing you. To establish trust, would you give me one gold coin first?"

The regressor took an alchemical gold coin from her pocket and willingly handed it over. I seized it with the mannequin's right hand, then immediately turned the mannequin around.

"Kukuku! Idiot! You fell for such pretty words! I'll put this gold coin to good use! Think of it as tuition for a lesson in life!"

The steel mannequin waddled away.

The regressor swung Skywarbler without expression. At that moment, the mannequin's arm, five steps away, was cleanly severed and the gold coin fell out. I hurriedly caught the falling coin and scolded the regressor.

"No, trainee Shei. How could you cut off his arm without warning?"

"So what? It's fake."

"These days, I'm worried trainee Shei might cut off someone's arm even if they were a real person. And why the right arm specifically? Did you have a grudge against right arms in a past life?"

"Enough. Put the hand back. Return the gold coin."

"Tch."

I tried to slip the gold coin into my pocket, but she stopped me. Left with no choice, I returned it to the regressor. It hurt like someone was tearing out my heart.

Watching regretfully as the regressor put the gold coin away, I continued.

"Well, despite what I said, trainee Shei's response wasn't wrong. Cutting off the arm was a little excessive, though."

"I cut it because it was a model. I wouldn't have cut it if it were real."

"That's a lie known by heaven and earth. If you want to argue, say it in front of me, who nearly got cut, and Finlay, who actually did."

After refuting her with empirical evidence, I looked at the vampire and said,

"Anyway, some people approach you with goodwill, like Puppet Man, while others try to swindle you, like Mr. Mane. Genuine goodwill and scammers who dress themselves in goodwill approach in subtle mixtures, so people have always found it difficult to distinguish between the two."

"Yes. Those lacking experience are bound to fear others."

The vampire's relaxed response. Reading the superiority beneath it, I stopped speaking and looked at the vampire with cold eyes.

"Does that mean trainee Tyrkanzyaka has enough experience to distinguish goodwill from malice dressed up as goodwill?"

"Not all of it, but enough."

"...What?"

"I have spent many years and seen countless people, and had experiences far beyond that. If I didn't even have an eye for judging people, where would all that experience have gone?"

No, wait. Her self-assessment was strange.

Taking my silence as agreement, the vampire spoke with a touch of pride.

"The puppet asked for companionship, and the mannequin asked for money. Even if I do not know their intent, if the other person is evil, they will try to take something from me. If I understand that core point, I won't be led around by anyone."

It wasn't wrong, but sometimes the messenger diminished the credibility of the message.

No matter how I thought about it, the vampire was just a lucky sucker. How could she assess herself like this? Who did she think I was holding this class for today?

This wouldn't do.

"Then would you like to take a test?"

"A test? I am not in a position to be tested by anyone, but I am curious. How do you intend to test me?"

"We'll continue from what Azzy and trainee Shei did earlier. Let's see how well you respond."

"It looks like there are no puppets left. What will you use?"

"One puppet remains, the one I handle best. It doesn't even need strings to be controlled."

I slowly walked over to the vampire. Curious about what I was doing, she only stared at me. Once I had naturally approached her side, I bent down and lightly lifted the end of her parasol. Beneath it, I saw red eyes contrasting against skin as white as snow.

Filled with pure reverence, I let out a soft gasp.

"How can this be? My god."

The vampire frowned when I called for a god before her. Before her displeased thoughts could surface, I immediately dropped to one knee before her.

"Today, upon seeing you, I finally understood why gems are so rare in this world. God used them all to make the doll that is you, leaving none behind."

"...What?"

"Your skin was shaped from white jade, and your hair woven from pure platinum. It is as though all the world's white gems have been gathered together. Ah, such bliss that I feel I may be blinded. Yet is it the nature of beings who pursue beauty to be bewitched by light and step into flames of their own accord? I humbly ask, would you permit me to remain by your side and breathe in the lingering scent of beauty?"

The regressor's mouth fell open.

Footnotes:

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