WeTried Translations
Translator: ZEROSUGAR
Editor: Abstract
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Regression is Too Much
Chapter 156
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The regressor grows stronger (1)
The blue ticket in my hand. This was the A-grade Trait Selection, the reward for difficulty [40].
"Oh, there's more. Here."
And that wasn't all. From the Universal Pill you could get by choosing [10] in the first test, to the Random Trait Box (Unique) you could get by choosing [20] in the second test. Ji-won shoved every single reward she had received right into my hands.
"You cleared everything at the highest difficulty?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"...I guess so."
Well of course, as if 'the' Choi Ji-won would be stopped by a mere floor 12. I had been forgetting something far too basic. After she had mastered 'Heart of Lightning Flash,' Ji-won had become stronger than me. And since she didn't have the penalty of regressing from a single hit, she must have breezed through floor 12 like it was nothing.
"Actually, difficulty [40] wasn't that hard either. I didn't even need to activate Heart of Lightning Flash. The mannequin's swordsmanship was decent but it fell short of mine, and its physical abilities were way behind. I think any top-tier player could manage up to [40] somehow."
Ji-won shrugged nonchalantly. Judging by how Bung-bung, resting near the entrance, was vibrating faintly, the sword seemed to agree.
"Take these, get nice and strong, and then once you regress, I'll use them. That's the advantage of regression, right? The traits carry over."
Ji-won handed me the various rewards with a bright smile. I knew how much help her support would be, and I understood how much goodwill was packed into it, but.
"..."
I couldn't bring myself to accept those rewards with a smile on my face.
"Um, Ji-won."
"Yeah?"
"What I'm about to say might disappoint you, or you might think it's really pathetic, but..."
But I had to say it. I didn't want to lie to Ji-won.
"I'm scared."
"...Of what?"
"I'm scared that I'm only ever receiving help from you."
My vulnerable side, laid bare despite her wholehearted support. Ji-won said nothing, simply listening to me in silence.
"You've probably noticed too, but my mental state right now isn't normal. It's only thanks to you that I'm barely hanging on."
I realized it on floor 12. My current state was precarious. The number of times I had thought about killing all the trolls on floor 12 was more than one or two. And if I actually had killed them all, there was a high chance I would have already obtained every reward by now.
But this Tower was one that God had created to judge humanity. Other people aside, I, at least, had to walk the righteous path. I understood that perfectly well, but the temptation to take the easy road kept creeping in.
Outside of my narrow circle of relationships, everyone else was essentially a stranger. They were like robots that repeated the same actions whenever I regressed. No, by that logic, everyone except Ji-won was a stranger. In fact, I still didn't know the names of the players I'd met on floor 12. I had no interest, either.
Just as some players treated the otherworlders in the Tower like NPCs, I too had been treating everyone other than Ji-won as NPCs. That was why the monstrous option of murder came to mind so effortlessly. Nobody feels guilt over killing an NPC in a game.
"And my talent, I think it's fair to say it falls far short of yours."
Setting regression aside, my current strength was about one level below Ji-won's. But Ji-won was an undeniable genius. I might be talented for an ordinary person, but I was nowhere near her. Right now I was keeping pace with her by repeatedly regressing, but what if I hit a wall someday? What if the gap in power between me and Ji-won became insurmountably wide?
I had to accept it. Ji-won wasn't the flawless, perfect hero I had imagined when I thought of 'the Ji-won from the Tutorial,' but she was still an all-rounder born with top-tier human talent. Kim Jun-ho was just an ordinary person who got lucky with an EX-grade trait.
And despite all that, I was heavily reliant on Ji-won. Emotionally, of course, and now I was becoming dependent on her in terms of combat ability too.
Guilt, gratitude, shame, inferiority, these emotions were swirling inside me. I was afraid of a situation where even my best efforts couldn't repay what she gave me.
"So what I'm saying is, how about we just take it easy for about a year before starting to train? We eat good food, set down the burden of saving the world or whatever, and just have fun without thinking. After a year, my mental state should be back to normal, right? While we're at it, we observe how the world is going and gather information."
That's why I wanted to run away. I wanted to be complacent in this present happiness. I wanted to enjoy this moment where our relationship felt equal. I offered this proposal to Ji-won, knowing full well the underlying desire behind it.
"Jun-ho."
"Yeah?"
"You know you said something similar to me back in the Tutorial?"
"Did I?"
"Yeah. You asked me if we could just keep our memories and go to the next stage together."
"...I think that does ring a bell."
"We're lovers, but I also think of us as comrades who climb the Tower together. Oh, Bung-bung included."
Ji-won got up briefly and came back with Bung-bung from the entrance.
"And does the person you keep calling 'amazing,' does she look like the kind of person who would abandon a comrade just because they got weaker?"
"...Of course not."
"I've had the same worries you're having."
Ji-won gently placed Bung-bung on her lap.
"I think I was born with quite a bit of talent too, but my dad was even more incredible. People from all over the world would come to visit him. He was really famous in the kendo world. So do you know what I was most afraid of?"
"What?"
"I was most afraid of disappointing my dad. Even when other people praised me, calling me a genius or saying I learned fast despite starting kendo late, I could never be satisfied. I was afraid it wouldn't be enough to meet his expectations. The pressure was so bad that I even considered quitting kendo altogether."
"..."
"Of course, my dad would have loved me even if I had no talent. I was just scaring myself. And I think the same goes for you. Just try it. I'm never going to dislike you just because you fail."
"What if I fail so completely that no amount of effort can fix it? What if I can't control the cold mana no matter what method I try?"
"Then you give up. And find another way."
Ji-won spoke of giving up as if it were nothing.
"You seem to think I'm some kind of invincible superhuman, but don't you remember that I failed on floor 4?"
"...I remember."
"At the time, I was sad and I felt terrible about myself, but I don't think I regretted it. Because I gave it my absolute best. I poured everything I had into it, so even if I failed, I could hold my head high."
You can hold your head high even in failure. The bar for 'failure' was much higher for me as a regressor, and the meaning of 'doing my best' was absurdly different, but the message Ji-won was trying to convey came through to me completely.
"Honestly, I don't care whether we rest for a year, ten years, or until we grow old and die. As long as we're giving our all and being true to each moment, that's enough. We have plenty of time thanks to regression, right? How can a person only work hard all the time? Sometimes you need to rest too. But even when you rest, your eyes should always be fixed on the goal."
"..."
"Then, let me ask you again. Do you really want to rest? Or were you just afraid of disappointing me?"
"...It's both, but the latter was probably the bigger part."
Ji-won was right. Even if the path was a bit winding, even if I stumbled over rocks along the way, I just needed to keep giving it my best. Can't control the cold mana? Then fight without using mana. Not enough talent? Then overpower them with items and traits.
Ji-won wouldn't be disappointed if I lacked talent. She would only be truly disappointed if I gave up out of premature fear.
And I didn't want to disappoint Ji-won. I didn't want to disappoint myself.
"Thank you, Ji-won. I think you snapped me out of it."
"Don't mention it. It's what I'm here for. When I'm struggling later, you can help me then. That's what being lovers is about, isn't it?"
Ji-won smiled warmly. Come to think of it, Ji-won was also my teacher. I had learned my swordsmanship from her.
So she was my teacher, comrade, and lover all at once. The way that sounded was strangely peculiar.
"But Ji-won."
"Yeah?"
"How about we rest for just two weeks?"
"Ha, seriously."
After sharing a laugh, Ji-won and I rested for exactly two weeks.
"...I'll be going now."
"I'll be waiting."
And then I was ready.
[You have taken damage.]
[Returning to the moment of first entry on floor 12.]
"...Phew."
A room with an entirely white interior. So familiar that it was beginning to make me nauseous, the starting point of floor 12. If I had to make a comparison, it was like returning to the barracks after a long vacation.
I casually rolled my neck side to side to loosen it up, slowly rotated both shoulders in circles, stretched my back straight, and finished my warm-up.
Crack. Crack crack.
I cracked each of my finger joints one by one, completing my preparations. Honestly, up until now I had been consciously avoiding cracking my fingers for fear of triggering a regression, but since I had nothing to lose right now, I just went for it. So it doesn't trigger regression after all.
Anyway, now that my mental preparations were complete, I took out an elixir from the subspace in my fingernail and drank it without delay. A crystal-clear energy immediately spread through my body. The cold sensation around my solar plexus also felt considerably softer.
What I had to do from here on was set.
I would use the cold mana. Circulate it through my body, wrap it around my weapon, release it outward, basically do everything that was possible with mana. Regression in the process was inevitable, an already predetermined future.
But even if I regressed, I would not give up. I would do my absolute best, for as long as my willpower held out, to learn how to 'properly' control this mana.
I had a goal.
To reach the top of this Tower and save all of humanity.
At first it was just because it seemed cool. Because I had received the broken ability of regression and felt a sense of responsibility. But things were different now.
"Let's see who wins."
I would strive to be someone I could be proud of. Until I conquered this mana.
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