WeTried Translations
Translator: ZERO_SUGAR
Editor: Abstract
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Regression is Too Much
Chapter 005
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The pony-tailed girl is way too strong (1)
The plan is simple.
Hang around the clearing for as long as I can, act like I own the place, and get on friendly terms with the pony-tailed girl.
Unlike the rest of the cowards, the pony-tailed girl did not leave the clearing even though she had more than enough strength.
I don’t know why. Whether she wants to finish a hundred-thousand sword swings and dig up some hidden piece, or she is driven by a noble cause to protect the weak.
None of that matters.
What matters is that the woman handles a blade with frightening skill.
“And so, the god created this Tower, specifically to punish foolish humans.”
The fairy kept babbling, but my eyes stayed locked on the pony-tailed girl standing in the corner.
She looked cool and detached, yet a trace of unease flickered in her eyes as she gently stroked the scabbard that held her sword.
…What is that?
The longer I stared, the stronger a sense of wrongness washed over me, as though I had glimpsed something that should not exist.
As if I had overlooked some crucial fact…
“Alright, the background explanation is done, so pick whatever you like from here…”
Having finished its speech, the fairy dumped an armful of weapons in the middle of the clearing.
Ah.
I suddenly understood what was bothering me.
The fairy has not yet handed out weapons, so why on earth does that woman already have a sword? When I was summoned to the Tower, I came with nothing but what had been on my body.
Clothes, wallet, and a crumpled rice-burger coupon shoved in my pocket. My phone had been on the bedside table charging and naturally failed to make the trip.
In other words, only the belongings on you the instant before summoning are recognized…
Which means that woman must have been walking around in real life with a live blade, an absolute lunatic.
…No, think about this from another angle.
Actually, this could work out.
To carry a real sword in the real world you need, what, a weapon permit, a bladed-weapon license?
Either way, the government has to sign off before you can own a live blade. I am pretty sure the paperwork alone is a royal pain, yet this young woman still carries a live sword?
The reasonable assumption is that she handles a sword professionally. Meaning her skill is not some quick buff from a trait she picked up after entering the Tower.
So my decision to learn swordsmanship from her was not wrong at all. And so I kept my eyes on the pony-tailed girl for quite a long while.
“Sta-tus W-iii-n-dow!”
This is the crucial moment.
While most people are busy shouting “Status Window,” how will she respond?
The pony-tailed girl rarely shows emotion, making her face hard to read, but because I focused on nothing else I barely managed to catch the changes.
First, confusion.
Her eyes widened as if to say, Seriously?
Next came deliberation. Her gaze dropped and the hand gripping the scabbard tightened.
Finally, resolve.
Looking a little embarrassed, she shuffled to the edge of the clearing and moved her lips in a near whisper. She probably mouthed the words, Status Window.
Immediately afterward.
!!!
Her eyes went round as saucers.
She whipped her head around, scanning the area in shock.
…What?
For someone normally so icy, it was a startling reaction. What did she see in her status window that made her jump like that?
Or, more importantly, is everyone else’s status window even the same as mine?
Maybe they have stats, or a shop, or all sorts of extra functions I lack. After all, my busted Regression trait might be the reason I was short-changed elsewhere.
The sudden swarm of thoughts left my head spinning.
And at the instant my gaze left the pony-tailed girl,
“You.”
…Yes?
A frosty woman’s voice sounded behind me.
No way, please no.
I turned my head slowly, praying my worst fear was unfounded.
Smack!
A brutal impact twisted my field of view about eighty degrees.
“You perverted bastard.”
The pony-tailed girl dusted off her hands and walked back to her spot. Did she just slap me? I was too stunned to think.
I rolled my tongue and tasted blood inside my mouth.
Wait, blood?
[You have taken damage.]
[Returning to the moment of first entry on Floor 0.]
“Damn it, where the hell am I!”
“Damn…”
The first thing out of my mouth after waking was a curse.
Why did she hit me? Was it just because I look like a creep? I had no idea.
In all my regressions so far, no one had ever decked me in the face like that.
Right. Think rationally.
There has to be a difference between then and now. Something changed, and that is why her reaction changed.
The only new factor I can see is that I stared at her with such intensity…
Ah.
The great cat Schrödinger once said, ‘merely observing something can change the result.’
Maybe my overzealous observation earned me that slap.
…Time for a test.
Repetition is the heart of any experiment. And if there is one thing I have plenty of, it is time.
In a near whisper I said,
“Hey, I like that milk jug of yours.”
“…What?”
Her jaw dropped, unable to believe what she had just heard.
“And those childbearing hips, you would pop out kids like a champ.”
The crudest sexual harassment my tongue could manage. The horrified bobbed hair girl was about to scream,
Thwack!
“Guaaargh!”
A savage blow lifted me off my feet and buried me in the bushes. My waist screamed in agony, and I could not feel my toes.
I craned my head back to see the pony-tailed girl slowly retracting the leg she had kicked out.
“…For trash like you, even my sword is too good.”
Her face was overflowing with contempt.
[You have taken damage.]
[Returning to the moment of first entry on Floor 0.]
“…Could we hurry up with the regression already?”
My back still ached, phantom pain perhaps.
Getting kicked like that made me realize death regression might not be the blessing it seems. If one kick hurts this badly, dying would leave some nasty aftereffects.
“Still, this confirms it.”
I had whispered so quietly even an animal with keen hearing would not catch it. There had been plenty of distance too.
Yet the pony-tailed girl flew over, kicked me, and called me trash. Which means she heard what I said to the bobbed hair girl from all the way over there.
What does that tell us?
It means that once she checks her status window, she can sense every movement in this clearing.
Even while swinging her sword without pause.
I do not know its rating, but her trait has to be at least SS rank, showing a monster level ability the moment she entered the Tower.
Still, the mystery is solved.
Back when I asked her to teach me swordplay, this is why she almost cut me down.
She already knew I was putting on an act. Watching my every move, she had realized I was no self-sacrificing saint.
Seen in that light, her turning me down makes perfect sense.
Thud!
I smacked my own shoulder in self-reproach.
[You have taken damage.]
[Returning to the moment of first entry on Floor 0.]
This time I did not look at the pony-tailed girl, I listened to the fairy’s explanation with great enthusiasm, caution piled on caution.
<Tutorial Stage>
-Clear Condition 1: If you swallow a Golden Marble hidden somewhere in the forest, you may proceed to the next stage. Only fifty Golden Marbles exist.
-Clear Condition 2: If you defeat the boss, the Goblin Shaman, a portal to the next stage will appear.
While everyone was silently reading the announcement, my chance arrived.
Clap clap!
“Everyone!”
I stood, clapped twice, and gathered every gaze in the clearing.
“My name is Kim Jun-ho! Please lend me your ears for just a moment!”
Pony-tailed girl.
Do you like nice guys?
In that case, I will be your nice guy this time.
Footnotes:
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