The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie - Chapter 32

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Ceaseless

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie ◈

Chapter 32: Fucking Humans (2)

──────

Yuben Jericho had obtained information about Dreamland from a black market merchant.

"A new dungeon..."

Who would have thought those words could even go together?

It was the first time in his life he had ever seen a new dungeon.

Of course, there had been such things in the past.

But at some point, dungeons had stopped appearing altogether.

No one knew why.

Only Oblivion, the god of oblivion who had created Blessed Ones and Dungeon Masters, would know.

"Hmmm..."

Yuben thought.

The life of a lord who had everything was so abundant that it had become dull and boring.

Ever since becoming a lord, he had felt as though life had no purpose. Scholars claimed that humans had a strong desire to rise, dreaming of another dream once they achieved the first.

A title higher than baron?

Well.

He did not particularly want one.

He had no desire to pursue it, and it would be difficult anyway.

Ruling a territory was bothersome, yet it felt wasteful to hand the position over to someone else.

The only things he still found fun were drinking and women, so he had given full authority to a vassal he could trust, squandered tax money, and lived however he pleased.

"I want a Magic Stone."

A Magic Stone.

The most valuable treasure in the world.

Something that could be used in any field, the closest thing to a Philosopher's Stone.

They said that if a human absorbed an entire Magic Stone, their lifespan would increase exponentially, like that of a Long-Lived Species.

"Living long would not be bad. Turning it into an ornament would not be bad. Making weapons out of it would not be bad. Turning it into money would not be bad..."

Yuben wanted the reward, of course.

But he also wanted to see a Dungeon Master and a dungeon at least once.

He would not have given an old dungeon a second glance.

But a new dungeon was different.

"Escape Scrolls all of a sudden?"

"That's right."

"My lord, we are already broke from giving you spending money, investing in the territory, and bribing other territories. Why do you need Escape Scrolls? Escape Scrolls from the Spatial School are primarily sold to the party members Blessed Ones bring along, since they are regular customers. We can only buy whatever is left after that. World Tree Forest is already in chaos over Dungeon Raids these days, so the elves have probably bought them all."

Yuben stroked his chin.

"Then pay the elves in World Tree Forest and buy them back."

"Do you want to see me run away too, my lord?"

"I will quit chasing women and stop drinking for a while. Do not give me any spending money from now on. We can buy about two with the spare funds, right?"

The vassal looked at Yuben with wide eyes.

What the hell was this wastrel thinking? The vassal could not understand it.

"I'm going to attempt a Dungeon Raid."

"A Dungeon Raid...?"

Yuben nodded.

"Yeah. I am feeling motivated. It feels like it will be fun for once."

"It has certainly been a long time since there was any life in your eyes, my lord."

The vassal said that attempting a Dungeon Raid would at least be more productive than drinking and chasing women.

The vassal promised to somehow obtain Escape Scrolls.

"Oh, and gather the knights too."

"There are no knights in our territory."

"...Then pick the strongest soldiers."

"Wouldn't it be better to hire a Blessed One?"

"Are you crazy? They will tell me to get the fuck out of the dungeon."

Before finishing his preparations, Yuben decided to make one preliminary visit.

For half a day, he could leave normally even without a scroll.

"The Forest of Life really is quiet."

The Branded Elf faction was notorious even in the West Kingdom.

Apparently, Julius had died due to the heroic efforts of a Constable from the South Kingdom.

Anyway.

That was not the important part.

Just as the black market merchant had said, there really was a dungeon called Dreamland on the outskirts of the Forest of Life.

"Hmmm... They actually found it."

Fortunately, news of the dungeon had not spread.

Was the South Kingdom keeping it top secret?

No.

There were no soldiers around, so that did not seem likely.

The Forest of Life was not particularly close to the South Kingdom either.

"Maybe they failed to find it because it was on the outskirts... No, the Constable who killed Julius probably did something."

Still, it did not seem like anyone would enter the dungeon anytime soon.

Confirming that was enough.

Yuben stepped through Dreamland's entrance.

Then he saw the white corridors stretching endlessly ahead.

"Ho."

Like an explorer discovering a new continent, his interest burned even brighter.

Yuben was the type of person who could only be satisfied once he possessed whatever he wanted.

That had been true of his position as lord, treasures, his family, alcohol, and women.

He was strangely greedy. Once the switch flipped, he had to obtain it, even if it cost him his life.

Though once he had it, he always lost interest and cast it aside.

Right now, that did not matter much to Yuben.

He knew it was a bad habit.

What could be more pointless than investing himself without regard for means or methods, getting what he wanted, then tossing it aside like trash later?

But.

"If a woman with a big ass and big tits is shaking her hips right in front of you, you are not a man if you can resist."

The new treasure called Dreamland was alluring.

It was probably the most valuable thing he had ever wanted.

The moment he stepped inside, he felt an indescribable emotion.

White corridors, lights with a design he had never seen before, and hallways stretching endlessly in a straight line.

Yuben looked upon the strange, unpleasant space and admired it.

Dreamland was like a work of art.

Why did this meaningless, fleeting place, so close to utter emptiness, look so beautiful?

Now he wanted Dreamland even more than its Magic Stone.

"But I heard that if you take a Magic Stone from a dungeon, the dungeon itself disappears. Did they say a Dungeon Master's death does not affect it?"

While his vassal worked hard to obtain Escape Scrolls, Yuben quickly gathered information on dungeons.

He did not want to lose the treasure called Dreamland through his own mistake.

There had supposedly been many dungeons available as research samples in the past.

Research had been much more active than it was now.

Yuben asked a mage he knew to bring him relevant documents, then began reading them.

"......"

They were not practical materials like the Blessed Ones' Dungeon Walkthroughs that they passed among themselves, saying, "This dungeon has these traps and Minions, and the Dungeon Master uses these abilities."

"A dungeon grows stronger by using intruders as nourishment. Like Oblivion, the god described in legends, a Dungeon Master can create living beings. The death of a Dungeon Master does not affect the Magic Stone or the dungeon, but the moment the Magic Stone is taken, both the dungeon and Dungeon Master vanish."

It felt more universal and fundamental.

Yuben continued reading.

"Dungeon Masters have no memories. Dungeon Masters cannot leave their dungeons. Like Blessed Ones, Dungeon Masters possess a means of communicating with every Dungeon Master in this world."

They could not leave their dungeons.

Come to think of it, he had never heard of a Dungeon Master leading an army to invade somewhere.

No need to worry about reinforcements.

"Because a dungeon is a multidimensional composite space, escape... What the fuck is this supposed to mean?"

Mages always had to say difficult things.

Yuben flipped the document over.

"Every dungeon possesses its own unique characteristics."

Yuben thought.

If those white corridors represented Dreamland's characteristics...

"Hmm."

He had no idea.

Well, he would find out once he entered.

Yuben returned to his estate.

"You brought four Escape Scrolls?"

"Yes. So do not die, get the Magic Stone, come back, and put some of it back into the territory."

"That might be difficult. I have started thinking that I want the dungeon itself."

"What kind of idea is that?"

"No, go see it yourself. It is seriously the most beautiful place in the world. After killing the Dungeon Master, we could drain the bodily fluids, stuff the body, and display it. There could not be a finer treasure."

"Like an insect specimen? That is ridiculous. Since when were you the sort of person with such a burning artistic spirit... You will ignore me no matter what I say, will you? Do whatever you want."

Yuben packed the Escape Scrolls.

Four chances.

That should be enough to complete a Dungeon Raid of a new dungeon that had been born less than half a year ago.

"So, who did you find for the expedition?"

"Ah, they will be here soon."

Just as his vassal said, people arrived.

But judging by the twitch in Yuben's eye, he was not satisfied with the selection.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Why?"

"Do we have so little talent in this territory? They all look weak as hell. It is a new dungeon, sure, but we will be wiped out immediately if we go with them, you bastard."

The armed soldiers looked dejected at their lord's outburst.

The vassal cleared their throat.

"...They are among the best in our territory."

"Haa. I heard there are Wandering Knights staying nearby. Hire them and bring them along."

"You say that as if money grows on trees."

"Sell the women I was keeping around."

"I will go calculate roughly how much money we would get from selling the women to the black market merchant, and how much has been spent on their upkeep so far."

He could not hire every Wandering Knight.

Money was one issue, and calling in too many outsiders to resolve the situation was a poor choice from the start.

He might lose the initiative.

Two would be enough.

Bringing in two Wandering Knights was not difficult.

All he had to do was put a large advance payment in their hands and promise them even more money if they safely found the Magic Stone.

"I accept your offer."

"A dungeon... It will be my first time setting foot in one, but if it is a new dungeon, then why not?"

Of course, Yuben did not trust the Wandering Knights completely.

People went mad in front of tremendous treasure, so no one could guarantee what would happen.

'I should keep at least one trump card in reserve.'

Yuben acquired Deadly Poison.

Then, finally, he recruited a third-circle Fire School mage, useful in many ways, including combat and understanding the dungeon's layout.

"Good."

The expedition members, supplies, and Escape Scrolls.

Even the objective had been prepared.

Certain of success, Yuben headed for Dreamland.

* * *

newbie: Love, I've got something I've been worried about lately...

└humanluvr: Why??

└newbie: That black market merchant came and went once before, right... After that, another human came in, but the look in his eyes is kinda worrying... T_T (Shiver shiver)

└humanluvr: Upload a picture!!

└humanluvr: .......................................

└newbie: What's wrong??

└humanluvr: .......................................

└newbie: You don't remember???

└humanluvr: I might remember if you say you love me......................

Fuck.

What kind of new move was this?

Lately, I had something to worry about.

Just as Love always left comments on my posts, someone with a seriously alarming level of obsession had entered my dungeon.

So, wanting advice, I left a comment for Love, who was on Dungeon Gallery standby twenty-four hours a day.

antqueen: That's Yuben Jericho... The psycho bastard who killed all his siblings and became lord, yeah. I heard his territory's tiny as shit, but his scale was apparently on the level of a purge day, which was kind of ridiculous LOL. Seems like he's living quietly now, though. Why did he come all the way to the Forest of Life?? Did that black market merchant tell him before??

What?

antqueen was replying to Love's ordinary post.

└newbie: Thanks!

└antqueen: But newbie, are you some kind of psycho collector?? Only psychos ever come in LOL

A psycho.

I had a terrible history with a lot of important people before becoming a Dungeon Master.

Most of the important people I had met were close to being psychos, and hmm, I was meeting one again this time.

But even psychos had ranks.

The psycho rank of the owner of my second-to-last workplace, who made us work overtime every day and yelled, "This is something you should obviously do for the company, and you're only working overtime because you do such a shitty job. Why should I pay you extra?" was a solid C.

Then the psycho rank of someone who killed all his siblings to become lord had to be at least A-rank, several times more vicious than that owner.

Someone who could even kill his family to achieve his goal.

A very proactive psycho bastard had entered my dungeon.

Fuck.

I got depressed.

└humanluvr: Fuck, why are you telling newbie that? Do you seriously want to die??

└antqueen: Adding one more person here with a personality problem LOL hehe I'm off to stop a Wave, bye bye.

Lords usually had a lot of subordinates.

What if he really just overwhelmed me with numbers?

My dungeon was weak against large groups.

└newbie: Honestly, it's kind of scary if intelligent beings come rushing in like Zerglings... (Shiver shiver)

└humanluvr: ....................................