WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Ceaseless
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie ◈
Chapter 57: worldiscold (3)
──────
golemking: newbie, please post a picture of carwash's face!!
└ kongkong: For real, I'm fucking curious. Just once, please. Post it with your eyes closed if you have to.
└ dip: Is carwash a woman?
└ skullbones: A skeleton with no dick asking if someone else is a woman lmao
└ dip: Fuck you, you don't have one either.
└ op_ghost: Guys, let's stop... The only ones who'll be sad if this goes any further are us...
no_minions_4_me: carwash's face is an important matter, though.
└ humanluvr: I'm curious too!
└ tvhead: Please take a secret photo.
└ psychward_mvp: Apparently they're busy fucking.
└ whaleyeah: For real, please get a video.
└ newbie: Fuck, I like women, you bastards.
└ psychward_mvp: At least we've confirmed the male form.
└ whaleyeah: Why is this guy so good at entrapment lmao
└ squintychar: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
└ orange★: Guys.
└ orange★: Stop being so curious about someone else's face and discuss something else.
└ cowhead: Holy shit.
└ cowhead: The head mod's "punishment" has been foretold.
└ cowhead: Anyone who keeps discussing this will be sentenced to a 24-hour ban. Holy shit.
└ sealedconq: Dungeon Gallery creepypasta;;
└ sealedconq: Fuck, this is tyranny. Give us the right to know.
└ orange★: ?
└ sealedconq: Sorry.
└ humanluvr: Phew... That was close...
└ humanluvr: I almost had a menhera meltdown!
└ newbie: You said you weren't a menhera...
.
.
.
.
.
"Bro, people are really curious about your face, you know?"
"Let them be curious. I have absolutely no intention of posting my face. The Gallery will obviously fill up with bullshit like, 'Apparently this guy can lay eggs,' or, 'A dinosaur sad it can't become a dragon.' I'm never posting it."
Hmm.
Maybe that came with being a senior.
"You've got a pretty face too. Put on a bunny girl outfit, take a selfie, and post it."
"You little fucker?"
We were currently in Area 2 of Dino World.
Area 1 had been the dense jungle we'd seen earlier, while Area 2 was a swamp that had evolved one step beyond it.
The ground was muddier than expected, making it hard to move around.
Considering we could run into traps and fight Minions in a place like this, Dino World was clearly no easy dungeon.
"Intruders tend to be weak against heat, so the idea is to wear them out in the jungle with fire magic traps and fire-based Minions like salamanders, then have the first real showdown here."
They would use the swamp's advantages, sending comparatively mobile Minions and poison traps to slowly wear down intruders.
"That's not bad."
"Right? If a decent mage comes in, they make footholds and fight from there, but that still limits their space, so it's not too bad!"
secha started rattling off information about the dungeon.
Like an excited child eager to show off something they had made.
Maybe secha had actually wanted to brag about the dungeon.
Once he got started, he just wouldn't stop talking.
Maybe I should butter him up a little.
It was time to exercise some social skills.
"Dino World is honestly the coolest dungeon I've ever seen, bro."
"R-Really...?"
"You might not know this, but there was a movie I watched a long time ago called Rat-rassic World, and it left a huge impression on me. Between your true form and these swamp crocodiles, it's got such an incredible vibe that it feels less like a dungeon and more like a work of art. Fuck, it's awesome."
"Ahem..."
A pleased smile spread across secha's face.
There was a reason the CEO at my former job always brought me along to company dinners.
It was because of this flatterer's silver tongue.
Well, it wasn't like I was getting paid by secha or anything.
Still, when someone I knew was happy, that made me happy too.
When I gave a double thumbs-up, secha scratched his head, apparently embarrassed.
"I was thinking of placing Anomaly Minions in this swamp. What do you think, bro?"
"Wouldn't it be best to put them at the entrance? If we wear them down there, we'll take fewer losses later."
Hmm.
What should I call this?
Ah, right.
"I think it'd be good for inducing confirmation bias."
"Huh?"
"Your dungeon is conquered by killing Minions and breaking traps, right?"
"That's how every dungeon except Dreamland works."
I nodded.
"So... they'll probably assume there's a high chance they can deal with this Anomaly Minion the same way."
secha's eyes widened.
Judging by the way his tail wagged back and forth, he seemed to understand what I meant.
I wasn't gay, but he was pretty cute.
His appearance was that of a green-haired, twin-tailed loli dragon.
Fuck, why wasn't this a woman?
The world was wrong.
Suddenly, I was fucking pissed.
Oblivion.
You were one of those bastards who drew a woman, then insisted it was a man.
Were you not afraid of this newbie's wrath?
Starting today, you were my enemy.
"newbie. You're seriously vicious."
"I'm honored."
"Anyone who gets on your bad side must be exhausted."
"Bro, I'm not that cruel of a Dungeon Master."
"Hmm..."
Why was he looking at me like that?
I was such a kind person.
"Bro."
"Yeah?"
"...We're planning all this on the assumption that the Anomaly Minions will function normally, so I think you should prepare for the possibility that they won't."
It would be best to think up several ways to deal with it.
The Elevator could be used freely, Activation or no Activation.
Unfortunately, traps couldn't be installed.
And because most of Dino World was open terrain, there was no reason for intruders to enter an Elevator.
"Yeah. If these Minions work normally, things will get a lot easier..."
.
.
.
.
.
The Anomaly Minion placement was completed successfully.
We placed two Weeping Person Statues.
It might have seemed like overinvesting, but there was nothing wrong with being well prepared.
All that remained was to wait for intruders to enter.
secha showed me the other Areas as well, even the Core Room.
The most impressive place was Area 10, located right in front of the Core Room.
It was called the Healing Spring.
A lot of Minions were taking baths there.
Awesome dinosaurs straight out of my imagination had their eyes closed, wearing blissful expressions.
What was the right way to put this?
Big things were just adorable.
It wasn't just dinosaurs, either.
There were all kinds of reptiles, starting with Lizardmen.
Were these the Minions available under the Ancient theme?
My Minions were all bizarre, creepy things.
After seeing nothing but gloomy Dreamland, this soothing change of pace felt pretty nice.
"Injured Minions heal their wounds here. And as you saw, Area 9 has a ton of fields. Those are our dungeon's Income Pieces, so the Minions work there and come here to rest a lot. Bathing here relieves stress and fatigue. Anyway, I can't leave out an explanation of the Golden Fields. They provide food too..."
Mm-hm. I got it.
secha was someone who really craved praise.
"Wow! That's incredible! Seriously, incredibly amazing! Is this the power of the Ancient theme!? The head mod is astonished, the world is shocked, and even newbie is impressed... Dino World is just absolutely perfect!"
"Hehe..."
I gave a double thumbs-up and properly laid it on thick.
This time, secha was so excited he looked ready to do a somersault.
Mm-hm. Fine.
As long as bro was happy, that was enough.
.
.
.
.
.
Even while staying in Dino World, I checked on Dreamland whenever I had the chance.
Fortunately, no intruders entered my dungeon.
After so many Dwarves had died, there was no way anyone would come back in.
Chase's will had probably put the finishing touch on it, so I could rest easy.
cowhead: So what did you place in carwash's dungeon?
└ newbie: I installed that neck-snapping yandere bro said they wanted to see before.
└ newbie: I'll livestream it this time too. I got secha's permission.
└ cowhead: Newbie-baby!
└ newbie: Please don't be so embarrassingly shameless...
└ cowhead: This is fucking gender discrimination.
└ newbie: Think about your face, bro...
└ cowhead: Fucking bastard...
Anyway.
The fishing rod had been cast.
The electric shocker to fry the catch was ready too.
Now, all that was left was to wait.
I just hoped the Anomaly Minion would work in this dungeon too.
.
.
.
.
.
About a week passed after I arrived in Dino World.
At last, intruders entered.
The Minions resting at the Healing Spring returned to their assigned Areas the moment secha said the Wave had begun.
Even though their injuries hadn't fully healed, the Minions moved diligently.
It was obvious at a glance how much they loved and cherished this dungeon.
secha and I watched the intruders' movements from the Core Room.
"See that... Ah, you can't see the hologram. I'll upload it to the Gallery."
"Is that man the Swordmaster...?"
"Yeah. That bastard's the Swordmaster."
He was a middle-aged human man covered in scars.
What stood out was that he wasn't wearing a shirt.
It was clearly fucking cold outside, but he had his shirt off anyway. That was some next-level swagger.
There was a reason the World Tree Forest elves had brought him along.
Even in a picture, his presence was no joke.
If I fought him head-on, I'd get wrecked in one second.
That was my instinct as a man.
"Now all we can do is pray your Minions move."
"Whew..."
The elves and Swordmaster were strong.
They dealt with the Fire Lizards attacking from every direction and boldly advanced.
It took them about half a day to conquer Area 1.
According to secha, that was very fast.
"The Fire Lizards attack in such sneaky, irritating ways that it usually takes about two days... Their pace isn't normal."
Still, Area 2 came next.
The Anomaly Minions were waiting there.
Before an Anomaly, the Swordmaster and a child were equal.
If they worked normally, we could somehow make this work.
I prayed inside my head.
Please, please, move.
But...
"...Goddammit. They passed right by it."
"What?"
"It looks like your Minions don't move in my dungeon..."
It looked like this method had failed.
Had I been too hopeful?
If this was the case, there was no reason for me to be here.
secha looked conflicted.
He let out a deep sigh, then smiled.
"I'll figure something out."
"..."
"Honestly, you must've been worried about your own dungeon too, but you came running over here without hesitation. I'm really grateful."
"Bro..."
"Don't worry. My level is still two or three times higher than yours. Here's an Escape Scroll. Use it and go back to Dreamland with Malrang."
secha looked incredibly relieved.
It was hard to believe we were in a crisis.
He looked like someone who had already made peace with it.
It was a problem if he said goodbye like someone about to die.
My social circle was already small enough. I couldn't lose secha too.
If there had been no Dungeon Gallery, I might have died of loneliness.
I was the kind of person who got lonely pretty often.
They meant more than friends to me.
Most of them were people whose faces I'd never even seen.
Still, I loved the time I spent with them in that anonymous community.
There was no way I could stand by and watch people I could call friends disappear.
Wasn't there any way?
What if I invested all the Points I had into myself and powered up?
To unlock Anomaly traits, I basically needed at least five million Points.
The effects were unbelievably good, but the Points I was earning now were nowhere near enough.
All I could do in the end was invest in Stats.
That didn't seem like it would produce any meaningful result.
Think.
Keep thinking.
I had to find a way out somehow.
.
.
.
"Ah, fuck."
I found a way.
Why hadn't I considered it?
Was I an idiot?
Thinking about it simply, it was an obvious option worth trying.
I stared at the hologram and rose from my seat.
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried
