WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Ceaseless
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie ◈
Chapter 80: Vampire Punch
──────
If you're a guy, you tend to dream up ridiculous things as a kid.
Like transforming into a Power Ranger, destroying your school, and never having to go there again.
Or suddenly gaining superpowers while a robber takes over a bus, then beating the villain.
Not everyone imagines things like that, of course.
But my friends and I definitely did.
Becoming a mage was obviously one of those dreams too.
Harry Potter, Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, whatever else. Honestly, everyone has imagined chanting an incantation and dropping a Meteor at least once, right?
If you haven't, well, your loss.
Anyway.
magichero said they’d teach me magic.
└ magichero: M-m-magic isn't a skill that necessarily requires a trait.
└ magichero: Of course, having relevant traits lets you grow faster and makes it more powerful...
└ magichero: But that's more of an efficiency thing...
└ magichero: Basically, it's nice to have them, but you can still train without them.
└ magichero: That's how you should think of it..
They said anyone with Mana could use magic well enough.
Thinking about the intruders Dreamland had received so far, that was true.
Even people who weren't mages used it.
Things like Detection Magic and telepathy, common spells anyone could use.
From minor lords to knights, plenty of them used magic.
You could think of magic-related traits as aptitude for studying.
Even people with no talent for studying can spend a year cramming, bash their heads against their books, and somehow get a Grade 3 score.
Since I had no talent for melee combat in the first place, I figured I should at least give magic a try.
If I could use something like Jamming too, it'd give me more options in a lot of situations.
newbie: Let's try it!
└ magichero: G-g-g-good!
.
.
.
.
.
Long story short, it was impossible.
Fuck.
I started out hopeful.
My head was full of baseless confidence that I was definitely going to become an insanely cool mage.
But.
Forget magic bullets or Fireballs like the protagonists in all those stories I'd seen since childhood.
Even feeling Mana itself was a wall I couldn't get past.
└ magichero: newbie. Close your eyes, put your hand on your chest, and focus. You can hear your heartbeat, right?
└ magichero: Mana is the same. It's part of your body too. Mana is created in your heart, then circulates through your entire body with your blood.
└ magichero: Most people can feel it if they focus.
└ magichero: When you breathe in, your nose tingles and your chest feels full, right?
└ magichero: Mana circulation is part of your body's natural functions...
└ magichero: Think of it like that.
└ magichero: Applying it is difficult, but this part itself should be really easy...
└ magichero: You really can't feel it...?
It wasn't that magichero's explanation was bad.
They made an entire online lecture with text, pictures, and videos, easy enough for a child to understand, even setting aside the whole character concept.
I understood it in my head too.
I understood, but my body just wouldn't learn it.
I busted my ass at it for another eight hours.
The result was the same: failure.
I couldn't do something other people could do in ten minutes even after putting in ten hours.
Giving up seemed better for my mental health.
└ newbie: Ah, it's GG......
└ newbie: I don't think I have any talent...
└ magichero: I-I'm sorry...
└ magichero: I should've explained it better...
└ newbie: No, no, no, magichero, you did your best...
I was depressed, so I petted Malrang.
My self-esteem hit rock bottom.
└ orange★: No, but this doesn't make sense.
└ newbie: Sorry for being such a nonsensical bastard...
└ orange★: LOLLLLL
└ orange★: I'm not insulting you.
└ orange★: I'm saying it doesn't make sense structurally.
└ orange★: If your MP is 130,
└ orange★: then, to use the human body as an easy comparison, it's like you've trained your body for two years.
└ orange★: But you can't even walk properly right now.
└ orange★: That's obviously weird.
That was true.
But what the hell was the reason?
└ newbie: It kind of reminds me of something.
└ newbie: Like having a really muscular body, but getting into an accident
└ newbie: and not being able to move your arms and legs properly...
└ newbie: Or suffering from a disability from birth.
└ orange★: I'm not a doctor,
└ orange★: but I don't think it's that.
└ orange★: If that were the case,
└ orange★: newbie's MP Stat itself would be crippled.
└ orange★: Wouldn't it be strange for a Dungeon Master to have a condition like that?
Hmm.
That was true too.
└ magichero: Ah.
└ magichero: I do have one guess...
Huh?
└ magichero: newbie, do you remember the Dark Mages?
└ newbie: The Manticore party that came after the Hobgoblins?
Of course I remembered.
They were the people the Doppelganger taught a harsh lesson.
└ magichero: The cost of Dark Magic isn't Mana, it's human souls...
└ magichero: At first, I told you Dark Mages used people's lives as sacrifices to cast spells, remember...?
op_ghost had said that.
Ah, I understood what magichero was getting at.
└ magichero: In places where Jamming isn't happening?
└ magichero: If Detection Magic doesn't detect you at all, there's a high chance you really don't have Mana.
└ magichero: Not just you, newbie.
└ magichero: Aside from Doppelgangers and Doubles created by the Mirror That Should Not Exist,
└ magichero: most other Anomalies are like that too.
└ magichero: So your MP...
└ magichero: I think it's more likely to be Points you consume when using something else.
└ magichero: Maybe it's like a Dark Mage's Stock...?
└ magichero: That's my guess, anyway...
└ orange★: Come to think of it.
└ orange★: dip, op_ghost, people who chose themes like Winter or Death.
└ orange★: I've heard they consume MP when they use Dark Magic.
└ magichero: Well, those people still have plenty of Mana itself,
└ magichero: so your case is unusual...
└ magichero: B-b-but I think it's probably something like that.
└ newbie: So to sum it up, my MP...
└ newbie: Should I think of it as Mystery Points instead of Mana Points??
└ magichero: Your comprehension is fucking top-tier...
└ orange★: Good.
When I checked the Anomaly traits, I'd seen descriptions saying they consumed MP and stuff.
It looked like I could use it in those situations.
It was still disappointing that I couldn't use magic.
But at least I'd confirmed MP wasn't a completely useless Stat.
So I decided to look on the bright side.
.
.
.
.
.
In the end, the ways I could strengthen myself were dumping a ton of Points into my Stats or getting an excellent weapon, like a Muggle's magic wand.
The former was horribly inefficient at Level 120.
It'd be better to spend that money buying Anomaly traps or Minions.
As for the latter, I'd have to loot one from an intruder or receive a decent weapon from another Dungeon Master.
It was best not to expect either for now.
Still.
I decided to start training today.
Instead of giving up because I had no talent, wouldn't throwing even one punch be more helpful in future Waves?
I had plenty of time anyway.
Might as well try.
The Dungeon Gallery had Veterans who could teach me techniques.
humanluvr: newbieee!
humanluvr: Want me to coach you??
humanluvr: I'll teach you Vampire Punch too!
Oh.
I did want to learn Vampire Punch.
.
.
.
.
.
My main weapon was a dagger.
There was no grand reason for it.
I picked it because it was the cheapest weapon when I first fought Goblins.
It also felt a little late to switch weapons now.
Daggers were the easiest to carry around, and I was used to them.
I could buy them right away from the Points Shop too.
Apparently, daggers were Sarang's favorite weapon as well.
humanluvr: It's hard to swing a sword if the space is cramped.
humanluvr: No matter how strong someone is, they can't cut through dungeon walls, right?
humanluvr: Daggers are light, and there are almost no space restrictions!
humanluvr: If you force your opponent into an extremely close fight in a narrow space,
humanluvr: even if they have a longer reach, it cancels out that advantage.
humanluvr: There are lots of cases where daggers actually have the upper hand,
humanluvr: so I really like them!
I see.
It was always surprising whenever her professional side came out.
Sarang had really thought it all through.
Anyway, for an introvert like me, it was nice that the person teaching me was someone I knew.
└ newbie: This.
└ newbie: Is what it means to kill an object───.
└ humanluvr: Eek, our newbie is so cool.
I started taking dagger lessons from Sarang.
And while I was at it, I learned Vampire Punch too.
.
.
.
.
.
worldiscold: Please let me go to the Lowjinrat Great Mountain Range!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
└ antqueen: As if that'd happen LOL.
└ nightraven: Here you go again, laying the groundwork to go to the World Tree Forest.
└ golemking: carwash!! If you end up in the World Tree Forest, you better survive!!
└ dip: newbie can't do anything for you this time either.
└ dip: Clench your ass and hang tight.
└ whaleyeah: LOLLLLL
└ whaleyeah: I want to quietly collect income again this time too.
└ whaleyeah: Waves are too hard~~~
└ tvhead: I hope someone comes in this time.
└ tvhead: It's time for my new weapon to breathe fire.
└ humanluvr: Pleaseletmeteleportsomewhereclosetonewbiepleaseletmeteleportsomewhereclosetonewbiepleaseletmeteleportsomewhereclosetonewbiepleaseletmeteleportsomewhereclosetonewbiepleaseletmeteleportsomewhereclosetonewbiepleaseletmeteleportsomewhereclosetonewbie
.
.
.
After that, it was the same daily routine.
I spent time on the Gallery, trained, played with Malrang, and made a TRPG rulebook on the side.
Then that time came.
The Position Shift Cycle.
I planned to put off expanding my dungeon until later.
Intruders wouldn't enter right away, after all.
I thought it would be more reasonable to see where I ended up, then decide.
Where would I land this time?
"Anywhere is fine."
"Blegh."
Hell or Heaven.
No matter where I landed, what I would do wouldn't change.
Defend my dungeon and survive for a long, long time.
"Come at me, world."
Here comes this newbie!
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried
