WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Natty
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◈ The Regressor and the Blind Saintess ◈
Chapter 40: A Name - 2
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Thump.
It felt as if her heart had dropped.
Feeling as though the ground beneath her feet had collapsed, Rene stopped walking.
Her thoughts cooled as though she had been doused in ice water.
A weak sound slipped from her lips.
“R-right. Of course...”
Her shoulders slumped.
She should pretend to be fine. She should put on a bright face and speak as though it were a joke.
But at this moment, she could not do it at all.
Vera was flustered by Rene suddenly stopping and looking so dejected.
He realized she had become upset because of him, and regret washed over him.
His mind quickly began stringing together words that might comfort Rene.
“...What I meant was that it would be an honor far beyond me. I only thought it presumptuous for me to dare act in such a way...”
Vera, unusually offering such a lengthy explanation, continued before realizing it was not a clear answer. He bit his lip.
“...I apologize.”
“No. I spoke without thinking.”
“That is not true. There is nothing the Saintess cannot say to me.”
Rene had a thought as she heard those words.
If there was nothing she could not say to him, why was he refusing?
Did that mean he would at least listen if she said it?
A sulky look began to spread across Rene’s face.
Even in a situation like this, Vera was still being so formal with her, which annoyed her. It wounded her pride that Vera was perfectly fine while she alone was in such a state.
In a sudden burst of temper, Rene...
“...Then just listen to me.”
She ended up blurting out those petulant words.
* * *
Vera stared at Rene with a thoroughly flustered expression.
At some point, Rene had turned to face him and lifted her head high. Her expression was one he had never seen from her before.
Her brows were drawn together. Her lips were pressed tightly shut.
She had lifted her head too high, unable to judge his height, so her gaze was pointed toward the sky. Still, Vera realized she was trying to glare at him.
“Call me.”
The words struck his ears again.
Not knowing what to do in response to that sight, Vera once again ended up saying the same thing.
“...I am sorry.”
“Why are you doing something you need to be sorry for?”
“...I apologize.”
“Then do not do something you need to apologize for.”
Jolt.
Vera’s body trembled.
Rene, who had never acted this way even once, was suddenly firing back at him. He could not react.
As Vera grew increasingly flustered, not knowing what to say or how to answer, Rene spoke again.
“Fine. If it makes you so uncomfortable, I’ll do it first. Once I do it, you have to do it too. All right?”
“Um...”
“Are you going to apologize again?”
Vera’s pupils shook as though an earthquake had struck.
As he looked at Rene with trembling eyes, he felt their clasped hands tighten further. He lowered his head and gave his answer.
“...I will obey.”
“Good. Then I’ll do it. Ve...”
Tap.
Her words caught.
The moment Rene tried to say Vera’s name, she realized what she was doing. Her face turned bright red as her lips parted and closed soundlessly.
She had been trying to call Vera by his name.
Thump. Thump.
Her heart began pounding.
Only now did she realize what she had done.
In a moment of temper, she had been making an unreasonable demand.
She was pressuring Vera, who could not even think of defying her.
Rene felt pricks of guilt.
She felt guilty because she was tormenting Vera for the sake of her own desire, and her heart pounded because she was about to speak his name aloud.
“Ve, Ve, Ve...”
Rene squeezed her eyes shut.
She wanted to turn back time.
Rather than this useless Authority, Rene wanted an Authority that could turn back time.
Not much, either.
Just five minutes. If only she could turn back time by five minutes, she would give up her liver and gallbladder, so she prayed to the heavens to please exchange her Authority.
...Of course, praying did not change anything. Spilled water could not be gathered again.
A sense of disaster welled up within her. As her body began to tremble more and more, Rene thought something close to self-justification.
This has already happened...!
She had to do it now. If not now, there would be no chance.
Yes, perhaps this was for the best.
This situation had come about because of her mistake, but if she could not do it at a time like this, that stiff man would never call her by name.
Then she would be the only one left agonizing again.
Just two syllables. All she had to do was say “Ve” and “ra.”
How could that possibly be difficult?
“Ve...!”
It was difficult.
Her face was too hot. Her heart beat so violently that her chest ached.
Those two little syllables, that one word made from two insignificant sounds, felt so unbearably embarrassing. Saying it aloud felt so mortifying that she could not continue.
Squeeze.
Rene gripped Vera’s hand more tightly.
She was worried about how she must look right now.
After hesitating for a long time, unable to force out the words, Rene took a Gasp! of breath and composed herself.
“Saintess, if you find it difficult, you do not have to...”
“Quiet.”
“...Yes.”
Why was he interrupting when she was trying to concentrate?
Rene sternly scolded Vera.
Huff. Huff.
After repeatedly taking deep breaths, Rene felt herself calm down a little. She opened the hand that had been holding her cane and held it out to Vera.
“Give me your hand.”
“...Yes.”
Clatter.
Her cane fell to the ground, followed by Tap. as Vera placed his hand over hers.
Rene was now holding both of Vera’s hands.
There was no backing out now.
Since she was holding both of his hands, she had to say it.
There was no logic to it, only unreasonable insistence, but that was not important to Rene right now.
Rene swallowed dryly.
Then her lips moved.
“...Vera.”
* * *
Vera did not like his name.
No, it would be more accurate to say that he could not like it.
The name Vera had been given to distinguish him, a child born nameless in the most wretched alley of the Gutter. The leader of a beggar gang had simply taken it from the label of a cheap rum.
To Vera, his name was a brand.
It was a brand that reminded him that he himself had been a damned beggar, and that he was a sinner who had committed countless sins using that as an excuse.
So Vera, who had believed he would never come to love his name in his entire life, was flustered by the sudden sense of fulfillment swelling within him.
“...Vera.”
Though it was the same name he had heard all his life, hearing it from Rene’s lips felt strangely unfamiliar.
The short sound “Ve” slipped out first, followed by the rolling sound of “ra.”
The two syllables joined together in her clear, unblemished voice began to carry an entirely different meaning for Vera.
How could he describe this feeling?
His name, completed through Rene’s voice, held a color as clear and transparent as an autumn sky.
For some reason, it felt like salvation. It felt as though the karma clinging to that name was being washed away. Unable to respond at all, Vera merely stared blankly at Rene.
Light was suddenly pouring over him in an unexpected moment and an unexpected form.
The reason it felt that way was likely because he knew the nobility this girl named Rene possessed. Because he believed that nobility showed through in her words and actions.
That was why even such a filthy name sounded clear and pure when it came from Rene’s lips.
As Vera felt his expression soften beneath the sudden light shining upon him, beneath that nobility washing over him without warning, he gasped as he drew in a breath and composed himself.
Rene could not see his expression no matter what it was, but for some reason, he felt that he had to do so.
“Now, sir... no, Vera, you do it too.”
Rene, her face flushed red, spoke those words before his eyes.
“Ah, no honorifics. I did the same... Yes, just my name.”
Rene lowered her head.
Vera quietly answered, “Yes,” and felt both of his hands being squeezed. His lips moved slightly.
His vision was filled entirely with Rene’s face.
She was such a naive girl that it was hard to believe she was the Saintess he had seen in his previous life.
There were moments when she seemed so much like a child that it was difficult to reconcile this girl with that Saintess.
But at times like this, when this feeling of reverence rose within him, he found himself accepting it without realizing it. He found hope.
He found himself thinking that perhaps, if he were with this girl, he might live something that could be called a life. That because she was so clear and pure, if he followed her life, perhaps he too could become even half as transparent a person as she was.
For that to happen...
To become that way, he had to protect Rene.
He had to protect her so that this light could stand on its own and illuminate the world, so that filthy things would never dare harm her.
Feeling the resolve rising within him once more and the soft warmth passed to him, Vera moved his tongue and spoke the name he had to protect.
“...Rene.”
* * *
Late that night, atop the bed in her quarters.
Rene curled up beneath her blanket, letting out little giggles.
She could not stop thinking about what had happened during the day.
“Rene.”
That voice rose in her mind again. The sound that had tickled her ears.
And then...
“Eek!”
Rene kicked the blanket away with a Thump! and twisted her body.
Her heart was once again pounding all on its own, spreading heat throughout her body.
For some reason, the corners of her lips were lifted so high that they seemed ready to reach her ears.
Rene trembled slightly at the sensations rising within her, then curled up again and continued thinking.
Admitting it made her feel so much more at ease.
Now that she had acknowledged that her feelings for Vera were love, she was no longer flustered.
The frustration remained. Her heart fluttered even more intensely. The thoughts that sometimes came to her had now reached the point where it would be more accurate to call them fantasies.
Yet she did not dislike them.
They had all become sensations that made her heart soar.
As Rene continued thinking, fantasies began bubbling up again.
Would they someday do things beyond simply holding hands?
Perhaps link arms, or rest her head on his shoulder, or even...
Kiss...
Jolt.
The blanket stirred.
Her head was growing hot again at the thought.
Rene squeezed her eyes shut and began calming herself.
Take it easy...!
Terisa had told her so.
She needed to leave room in her heart.
Haste was poison.
As Rene took deep breaths, she slowly began erasing the thoughts that came to mind.
She had only just recognized her feelings.
She only needed to approach him bit by bit, slowly.
There was plenty of time. Vera had said he would remain with her. Someday, their hearts might come to understand each other.
Squeeze.
Rene’s hand tightly clutched the blanket.
As she continued thinking, Rene realized for the first time that she was glad to be the Saintess.
She was glad that it had allowed her to meet Vera, that it had allowed her to become someone who could stay by his side.
She still hated the gods. She still thought Authority was useless.
She could not understand, not even in the slightest, why she was the Saintess.
But even so, even in this state...
Rene closed her eyes, thinking that she was truly fortunate that the person she had met was Vera.
Take it easy.
If she approached him slowly and without rushing, they would become closer than they were now. With that thought, she tried to sleep.
...Had she taken things too easy for three whole years?
Without her relationship with Vera progressing even the slightest bit, Rene celebrated the birthday that took her from seventeen to eighteen.
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