WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Natty

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◈ The Regressor and the Blind Saintess ◈

Chapter 39: A Name

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The next day, at Rene’s quarters.

Terisa blinked as she looked at Rene’s haggard face.

“You look quite tired.”

“Ah, I couldn’t sleep very well...”

She looked terrible. Dark circles hung beneath her eyes, and sigh after sigh slipped from her lips, as though something weighed heavily on her mind.

Yet even in that state, her beauty had not faded. Even that disheveled appearance carried a certain decadent charm. Finding the thought amusing, Terisa let out a quiet chuckle.

“So, have you found the answer to the quiz?”

Rene flinched.

Pink energy began bubbling up around her again.

Only after it had covered her entire body did Rene nod.

“Yes...”

Her voice trembled faintly, full of shyness.

Rene pressed her lips together as she searched for what to say next. Then she let out a deep sigh and complained.

“I did come up with an answer, but...”

“What is wrong?”

“...I don’t understand it.”

“Hmm?”

Terisa watched Rene begin to agonize over it. Rene groaned for a long while, delaying her answer, before squeezing her eyes shut and blurting out her thoughts.

“Um... I don’t know why I feel this way. Nothing particularly happened that would make me feel like this, and there wasn’t any other trigger, but it suddenly came over me...”

Her words were scattered, full of confusion.

Watching Rene helplessly spill out her thoughts, Terisa found herself thinking, How can she be so adorable?

The sight of a girl confused after realizing her first love, that pure, transparent color, was something Terisa dearly loved.

“It does not necessarily need a reason.”

There was laughter in Terisa’s reply. When Rene lifted her head, Terisa continued with a warm smile.

“Is that not the answer to the quiz? An emotion that arrives without reason, then only later has reasons hastily attached to it. That is love.”

“Ah...!”

Rene’s face turned bright red.

It happened the moment she heard the word love.

She had been too embarrassed even to say the word herself, and hearing it spoken so directly made her chest tighten.

“B-but...!”

“At least this much I can promise you. No matter what reason you attach to that feeling, you cannot define love through that reason. Love does not seek a reason. It only wishes to be called love.”

Those words were the realization Terisa had reached over a lifetime of bearing the name Apostle of Love.

“Love is love. It is an emotion directed toward someone other than oneself. It is an emotion in which you find yourself. That aching flutter in your heart is one form of it, as is the feeling a parent has when looking at their child.”

Rene shuddered again at those words.

“Love wears many garments. It is a terribly fickle child, so at times it comes clothed in curiosity, at times admiration, and at times hatred. That is why it is such an easily misunderstood emotion, because its true form is difficult to see.”

The words poked at Rene as she tried so hard to deny herself.

“Yet it is love in the end. Everything covering it is merely an outer shell. Love is an emotion that cannot be defined by any word other than love.”

They exposed the part of herself that she had turned away from in embarrassment.

“Do not try to give it a reason. Saintess, you only need to accept the feeling engraved upon your heart as it is.”

Rene thought about what garments this emotion she now called love had been wearing.

Her curiosity about why he treated her so dearly.

Her admiration for how much more mature he seemed than her, despite them being only a few years apart in age.

Her resentment toward those unconscious actions of his that tormented her heart.

When she thought about it, it had worn countless garments.

Th-that...

Yet all of it, in the end, was love.

Whoosh!

Rene felt heat spread throughout her body.

It was enough heat to make her wonder whether she might simply be cooked alive like this.

She should calm herself somehow, but why was her heart only so diligent at times like this? It beat more fiercely than ever, carrying heat throughout her body.

Watching Rene turn so red that an apple might call her its sister, Terisa chuckled and finished speaking.

“It is only natural. You are human, Saintess. Do not be too embarrassed.”

“B-but, I...!”

Rene’s mouth, which had been breaking down often lately, once again produced unfinished words.

Her head creaked as it bobbed up and down.

It was a truly ridiculous sight.

And to Terisa, it was more beautiful than anything.

* * *

“You worked hard today.”

At Vera’s low, firm voice, Rene felt her heart pound fiercely.

“Yes...!”

“How was your lesson today?”

What had she done again? What had she learned with Lady Terisa?

Her thoughts would not connect properly through the heat rising in her face. No matter how she tried to remember, nothing came to mind.

In truth, it was because they had not actually done anything, but Rene was too occupied with the thought that she had to answer Vera’s question to realize it.

So she gave another foolish answer.

“I learned something good!”

The moment she answered, Rene squeezed her eyes shut and questioned herself.

Something good like what...!

What kind of answer was that? What if Vera thought she was strange?

As Rene silently cursed her own mouth, Vera, who had been watching her, nodded and answered in his usual tone.

“That is wonderful.”

In truth, no matter what Rene answered, his reply would have been the same.

To Vera, Rene was faith and truth. No answer from her could make him think strangely of her.

After replying, Vera looked at Rene’s flushed face and continued his thoughts.

Is her schedule exhausting her?

What he felt was concern.

Unable to imagine Rene’s inner turmoil in the slightest, Vera only worried as he watched her odd behavior.

From a distance, it would have looked rather ridiculous.

Even today, the two walked on while thinking entirely different thoughts.

* * *

Three days was enough time for Rene to acknowledge her feelings.

Holding Vera’s hand as they walked through the flowerbeds, Rene kept her head lowered as she continued thinking.

What does Vera think of me?

She did not mean what he showed outwardly.

She wondered about deeper feelings, the feelings he did not reveal.

She did not entertain the thought that Vera might feel love for her as well.

Rene knew. The feelings Vera held for her were absolutely not love. He made that clear enough to be almost blatant, so she could not possibly fail to notice.

What Vera felt for her was too plain to call love, and somehow insufficient even to call fondness. If she had to describe it, it was a rigid emotion closer to reverence.

His devoted attitude, his always calm tone, and the way he silently remained at her side even now all told her so.

Squeeze.

Rene felt her chest tighten.

Her heart raced like this, while the other person seemed to feel nothing at all.

Her first love was needlessly steadfast, showing not even the tiniest trace of selfish desire.

It would be fine, though...

He could have a little selfish desire.

As Rene thought that, she realized a beat too late what she had just been thinking and sharply drew in a breath.

“Saintess?”

“N-no, it’s nothing.”

Her shoulders jerked.

Heat rose through her again.

Behind her pointless, trembling lips, one question lingered.

What do you think of me?

She could not say it because she was afraid the answer might hurt her.

Though she knew what answer would come, she did not want to hear it from Vera’s own lips.

Rene did not want the warmth passed through their clasped hands to fade away.

It was all right if it was only her own fantasy.

Was it not all right to imagine that perhaps Vera might feel the same way she did?

Tap.

Tap.

After the sound of her cane came his footsteps.

With that steady rhythm as her background music, Rene walked on, feeling something ring within her chest.

Her thoughts continued.

...No, what came to mind this time was a fantasy.

What if she could see?

Rene pictured the face she had once traced with her hands, the face she had drawn in her mind, and placed herself beside him.

She pictured the two of them facing each other and smiling.

She knew it could never happen, yet she pictured it anyway.

In that scene, it was not the Saintess and the paladin who smiled, but simply herself and Vera.

Vera held both her hands and spoke.

Rene.

Rene jolted.

She had imagined something far too embarrassing.

Then her body instinctively tensed, and Rene began gripping Vera’s hand tightly.

Vera tilted his head as he looked at Rene suddenly squeezing his hand.

It was a reaction that appeared from time to time during their walks. By now, it had become rather familiar.

Whenever he asked if something was wrong, Rene always answered that it was nothing. These days, Vera did not ask her again. He merely watched her complexion in silence.

It was very fortunate for Rene.

If she realized that she had reacted strangely again, she would have twisted herself up in embarrassment.

Without realizing what she was doing at that moment, Rene tried to shake away her thoughts. Then, suddenly, another idea came to her.

She could not see Vera, but...

At least hearing her own name...

Could she not do that?

It was a tempting thought.

It was not as though she was asking him to do anything difficult. It was only a name. Would Vera not grant her something so small?

Had he not called her “Miss Rene” back in the village?

He only needed to go a little further, just a little further, and remove that “Miss.”

As she thought that, Rene worried over it for a moment, pressing her lips together. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and spoke.

“Sir Paladin!”

“Yes.”

“Um...”

Her words caught in her throat.

She had intended to make her request on an impulse, only to realize too late that she had no idea how to ask.

Rene broke into a cold sweat as she continued worrying. Vera patiently waited for her to continue.

Rene finally spoke after they had walked another half-circle around the flowerbeds in silence.

“Um! I was thinking, maybe we are being too formal with each other! We will continue seeing each other, so would it not be all right to be a little friendlier with each other! That is what I was thinking!”

Her words came out with the cadence of a snake-oil peddler.

After saying that, Rene thought, Something sounds strange, and hurriedly added more.

“I-I mean, right? We will be, be, be together from now on too! So would it not be good to close the distance between us a little! For example, calling each other by our names!”

She had rushed ahead.

She had tried to explain herself logically, but no excuse came to mind, so she simply blurted it out.

Thump. Thump.

Her heart began beating wildly with tension and excitement.

Rene opened her ears wide, tilting her head slightly toward Vera as she waited for his answer.

Vera’s answer came after they took five more steps.

“...Please withdraw those words. They are far too gracious.”

It came in the form of a refusal.

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