WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Natty
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Regressor and the Blind Saintess ◈
Chapter 38: Realization - 3
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Two days later, inside the residence.
Rene let out a deep sigh as the attendants tended to her.
She was thinking of the quiz Terisa had given her.
It’s difficult...
For nearly two days, she had racked her brain over it, but she still could not even begin to guess the answer.
It was not something she could ask someone else for help with.
...No, it was something she did not have the courage to ask about.
Asking others for advice about the answer to this quiz would mean revealing her own concerns. How could she go around asking people for advice about that?
Rene did not want anyone to know that Vera was making her act strangely.
Wasn’t it embarrassing? She could not clearly explain why, but the mere thought of telling someone else about it filled her with a distinct shame.
Because of that personal embarrassment, she had no choice but to bear the concern alone.
And so, she still did not know the true nature of the emotion Terisa had described.
“All done.”
The words broke through her thoughts.
Rene pushed aside her lingering worries and rose, leaning on her cane.
“Thank you. You all worked hard.”
“You can head out now. Sir Vera is waiting outside.”
Jolt.
At the mention of Vera waiting for her, her body began to twitch beyond her control again.
Thinking that she somehow felt feverish, Rene nodded and slowly began walking.
* * *
There was a bench in the sunniest spot beside the flower beds before the residence.
On days without any particular schedule, Rene would come there to rest.
As Vera kept watch at her side, he thought, She doesn’t look well.
More precisely, something was strange about Rene’s condition. The odd signs he had begun noticing when they left Lemeo had grown especially severe lately.
Naturally, concern rose within him. His gaze carefully examined Rene’s face.
Neatly dressed, Rene was a beautiful girl with a mysterious air that anyone would recognize. Yet Vera, who saw her every day, could tell that she was unwell from the slight droop of her eyes and the faint pout of her lips beneath that beauty.
“Saintess, is there somewhere you are unwell?”
“Huh? Ah, it’s not that...”
Rene flinched.
Wondering if he could somehow see straight into her heart, she hurriedly blurted out an answer as though her own words had given her away.
“I-it’s homework! I’ve been worried because of my homework!”
“Ah, is it related to Lady Terisa’s lessons?”
“Yes! She gave me a quiz, but I can’t think of the answer at all...”
Vera fell silent for a moment as he watched Rene speak with an awkward expression. Then he carefully spoke.
“...Could you not tell me?”
He only wanted to be of help.
Rene startled, jerking upright before hurriedly refusing.
“...It’s all right!”
Vera lowered his head, feeling oddly hollow as Rene turned away from him.
“I apologize. I spoke out of turn.”
“No, why are you saying that again...?”
Rene became even more flustered.
She had realized that Vera was about to begin another barrage of apologies.
Telling him not to apologize should have been simple, but now, even saying that was not easy.
Unlike before, Rene was now clearly aware that Vera was the reason her feelings wavered.
That meant she had grown more cautious with every word she said to him.
“You must have your own thoughts on the matter, yet I spoke without considering them. Please punish this foolish man.”
“Ah, no, that is not...”
She was going to lose her mind from frustration.
Her head felt as though it were spinning.
Rene fumbled helplessly for a moment, then squeezed her eyes shut and blurted out the words.
She had said it in a rush of panic.
She only threw out whatever came to mind because she needed to stop Vera first.
“I-it’s a quiz about emotions! Lady Terisa told me to find out what kind of emotion she described...”
Her words cut off.
Only then did Rene realize her mistake and clamp her mouth shut.
Idiot!
At this point, wouldn’t it have been better to simply confess, “You’re making me uneasy”?
She lamented her own unbelievably foolish actions.
Vera raised his head at her words and looked at Rene, whose face had twisted strangely.
A quiz about emotions.
Vera quickly considered it. He wanted to be helpful. Perhaps he was even growing impatient.
He had sworn to live for Rene, yet what had he actually done for her? What had he done since returning to the Holy Kingdom?
Even setting aside the fact that there had been nothing urgent to do, all he had done was stand beside her and follow her around. Should he not at least be useful at a time like this?
She said it was a quiz.
Judging by Rene’s reaction, she did not seem likely to tell him its contents, so he needed to infer the answer from the clues he had.
A quiz. Emotions. Terisa.
Vera combined the few clues he had and considered an answer that could connect them all.
Soon enough, he arrived at one more easily than expected.
“Saintess.”
“Y-yes!”
Rene jolted at Vera’s voice. Cold sweat streamed down her back.
“Could the answer to the quiz perhaps be love? Lady Terisa is the Apostle of Love, and the quiz concerns emotions, so it seems plausible.”
Rene froze.
Love.
The instant that word struck her ears, all thought came to a stop.
“Th-th, uh...”
Rene creaked out words like a broken machine.
After a long while, she finally managed to say something so foolish that even she could not believe it.
“I-I don’t think it’s love.”
It was a complete denial. She was not even certain of it.
She had simply let herself be carried away by the sudden surge of defiance within her.
“...Is that so? I apologize for failing to help.”
“It’s all right...”
Rene lowered her head deeply.
What followed was a silence overflowing with awkwardness.
* * *
The unbearably uncomfortable silence continued for well over an hour.
Normally, Rene would have been unable to endure such an atmosphere and would have said something. But she had no room for that now.
Love.
The emotion that might be the answer to Terisa’s quiz.
She had no time to think of anything else as she considered it.
She tried to deny it, telling herself it could not be true, but no matter what other emotions she tried to think of, her thoughts could not move away from the word love.
Her face burned hot, while the turmoil inside her was so intense that she could not control it.
And in the midst of it all, all Rene could do was fit her past actions into that word, love.
Even when she tried not to think about it, she found herself doing so before she realized it.
The pounding that had come when they held hands. The restless feeling that had come over her during their conversations. The moments in the meeting room that still made her thumb tingle whenever she remembered them.
She was placing the word love over all of them.
The thought of perhaps would not leave her, and she could not make herself stop.
Yet even after all that, she still could not find an answer.
Perhaps it was because love had always been someone else’s story to Rene.
Never once in her life had she imagined herself loving someone. Her past had been far too desperate for her to imagine such a thing, and so Rene did not know love.
Learning the paths through the village and drawing even the faintest details of her dark world had been more important. She had never had time to spare a thought for love.
That was why she was so confused.
As Rene agonized over it for a long time, Vera’s voice filled the space.
“Saintess, shall we head in soon?”
“Huh?”
“The sun will be setting shortly.”
Rene’s entire body jolted.
Without realizing it, she thought, ...I don’t want to.
Not now. Her thoughts were far too chaotic. If she went inside like this, she felt as though she would not sleep a wink.
She needed to think about it longer.
Her mind quickly searched for an excuse.
An excuse that would let them remain together a little longer, an excuse that would give her time to calm her turmoil.
“Um...!”
As Rene began to speak, she reached out and grabbed Vera’s arm.
Squeeze.
Her hand tightened around his sleeve.
“...Could we walk a little before going inside?”
Fortunately, this excuse came out convincingly enough.
Vera answered as Rene silently let out a breath of relief.
“...As you wish.”
* * *
Rene walked blankly alongside the flower beds surrounding the garden.
She held her cane in one hand, while her other was clasped around Vera’s.
His hand was hard and rough. Warmth passed through it to her.
As Rene felt all her senses being stolen by that warmth, she wanted to scream at the thoughts that only grew more confused with every passing moment.
Had Vera not been beside her, she might truly have done so.
That was how suffocating it felt.
She could not understand why she kept thinking of the word love.
Then, suddenly, Rene thought that she hated Vera.
Wasn’t her heart, already troubled because of Vera, becoming even more troubled because of what he had said?
Had he not made her suffer by saying something so unnecessary?
Squeeze.
Her grip on his hand tightened with her thoughts.
As the warmth deepened, her heart beat more fiercely.
That was right.
No matter how much she denied it, her body kept reacting.
She could not look away from it.
Even if she cried that it was not true, how could she deny it when her whole heart, tightening around her, insisted that it was?
“Haa...”
A long breath slipped from her lips.
Then,
“Saintess?”
The voice that always guarded her followed.
Thump.
Her heart began racing wildly again.
“It’s nothing...”
The words barely left her mouth.
Having said that, Rene squeezed her eyes shut and thought.
This was a trick played by realization.
Ever since she had thought of the word love.
Ever since she became aware of it, every one of her actions had begun to take on a consistent form that matched that word. If this was not a trick, then what was it?
Yes, she would admit it.
Her condition could all be understood if she placed the word love into it.
Her curiosity about Vera was interest.
The intensifying beat of her heart when they spoke was fluttering excitement.
The warmth that rose whenever they held hands was yearning.
Under different names, yet all pointing to the same emotion.
It was becoming a name too embarrassing to even think of.
A name that stole away her whole heart.
How could she dare give it such a name?
...The name love.
This feeling that had settled within her heart at some point had begun to call itself by that name.
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