WeTried Translations

Translator: Goku

Editor: Sty

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ The War Hero in the NTR Game Wants to Die ◈

Chapter 018

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Fading Flowers (6)

"So, you weren't pushed in by the Gryan family after all."

The Dean gently twirled the cup he was holding.

Then he slowly, completely drained what was inside.

After setting down the empty cup, he picked up a small spoon from the table and began scraping out the sugar that had sunk to the bottom and hadn't fully dissolved.

The only sound filling the room was the spoon scraping the side of the cup.

The Dean, who had been staring at the spoon with the collected sugar for a long time, finally opened his mouth in a low voice.

"Does the Empire still doubt our loyalty?"

"I don't quite understand what you mean."

"You've understood enough, so you may leave. As for classes... well, they'll be assigned appropriately."

The Dean said so and waved his hand.

I nodded lightly and left the Dean's office.

* * *

My head was so full of thoughts it felt like it would burst.

If it were 'Riehen', he would have been busy trembling just standing before such a high-ranking person.

Unable to say a single proper word, only reading the room, he would have come out of the room wiping away cold sweat.

But now, none of that feels remotely important.

Light from beyond the wall streamed at an angle into the hallway.

Students passing by glanced at me and subtly made way, but I barely noticed such things.

Pushing open the professor's office door and entering, Arin was standing in the corner, even with a chair right in front of her.

As if she were used to waiting while standing.

"Where did we leave off?"

"......Are you still going to talk about that topic?"

"I came all this way to find you; I have to speak. I have to say something."

"If you came all this way to find me, then why didn't you follow me back then?"

"I clearly told you back then, if I could have followed, I would have."

"......."

Instead of answering, Arin's fist trembled slightly.

And then she glared straight at me.

The girl she used to be couldn't even make an expression like that properly.

She was a child who didn't know how to get angry at someone, or glare at people like this.

Always raised with only love, a child who knew nothing but how to smile at others and share love.

Others ridiculed her, saying her head was full of flowers… but if not for that flower garden, I would have long since suffocated and died in the Gryan family.

And in a capital city, which is utterly bleak, such a flower garden was bound to wither eventually.

"Do you think I wanted to stop you from doing the things you wanted?"

"And when you told me things like, You should quit being an adventurer!?"

"So, are you happy now?"

"......."

"Do you feel like you're living a romantic and free life?"

"......At least it's better than living in that village just waiting to marry someone."

"If you had said that and gone alone, I would have accepted it somewhat. But... you just followed a man you'd never seen before."

"He, besides me...!"

"Him? Is he so high-ranking that you refer to him formally even in front of me?"

"......What's your point? Riehen, what... what do you want right now? Do you realize you're acting like a child?"

Perhaps liking someone is the most primal emotion.

That's why when you like someone... you can't help but act like a child.

Whether it's family or a romantic interest.

Like a child who gets angry, cries, and screams if they don't get what they want.

"Or do you want me to take off my clothes and act all sweet in front of you?"

"......Did you?"

"What do you think?"

Arin let out a sneer.

The Arin I knew... was a child who didn't know how to make such a venomous expression or a despicable-looking laugh.

Hanging around with trashy, low-level adventurers, she ended up changing like that.

If I had left the Gryan family much earlier, if I had taken Arin's hand and fled to the capital... I would have been caught by the knights who pursued us shortly after, but at least I wouldn't be feeling like this right now.

"What do you think, Riehen. Do you want that too?"

"There's no way… I'd want something like that, fuck."

I feel like vomiting.

My stomach churned, and after bowing my head for a moment, I slowly raised it.

But I can't end the conversation here.

Picking up the words that had already spilled out and pretending they were never said, Arin wouldn't want that, and neither would I.

"Then what do you want?"

Arin's voice dropped a tone.

"It was always like this from before. You just beat around the bush and couldn't even directly say what you wanted, yet you were a greedy child who wanted so much."

"...I never beat around the bush. I just told you that I wanted you to be in that village."

"……."

"I begged you not to leave like that. Just to stay right there."

"If I had stayed, would anything have been different?"

Arin didn't look at me, but looked down at her clasped hands and spoke in a whisper.

"Hey, Riehen. I didn't know it would be this much, but there's no way I wouldn't have noticed that you were someone high-ranking."

It was the same gentle voice.

But it sounded different from the tearful, angry voice I heard every time I died.

I didn't want to hear Arin's voice sound so worn out by life.

"A girl who looked like you once, and a pretty woman came to see me. Both said the same thing: that if I just knew my place, they wouldn't get rid of me. And not to tell you they had come."

"......."

"If I became a famous adventurer... you know? That you're treated better than most low-ranking nobles. Then... I thought it wouldn't be a problem to be by your side......"

"Those are the kind of people who appear once every ten years. They would have succeeded no matter where they went."

"If I had known that...! If I had known, would I be like this now!? I... I know I'm a stupid idiot, Riehen, you don't need to tell me."

"I clearly told you that even back then. Or do you regret it? Thinking things like, 'If only I had listened to you?'"

"What good is saying such things now?"

"......."

"Or... do I look ridiculous? As expected? Because if I had only listened to you, I wouldn't be in this state? I wouldn't have appeared before you in such a pathetic, idiotic state? Tell me, if I had only listened to you, I wouldn't be like this now, would I? Do you know? That being dispatched to the academy like this is actually quite a success among adventurers? If this is what success means... I wouldn't have even bothered to climb."

"So, don't say such things."

I met the gaze of Arin, who was glaring at me.

Arin... doesn't glare at me like this.

She was a child who didn't know how to make such an expression, even when angry.

She was a child who felt awkward using swear words like fuck, idiot, or dick.

My hands are trembling.

I took out a cigarette from my pocket and put it in my mouth, but even when I struck a match, it wouldn't light.

Once, twice. My fingertips trembled on their own, constantly missing.

When the spark still didn't catch on the third try, I slammed my trembling hand down on the desk next to me.

There was no dull sound.

It just broke.

The perfectly fine wood instantly collapsed along its grain, and debris spilled onto the floor.

When I took a step closer, Arin flinched and stepped back.

Her eyes were filled with fear.

It was the first time Arin looked at me with such eyes.

"Arin, no matter how hard you've had it, there's no way it was harder than mine."

What does it matter?

"There's no way you had it hard."

I'm not even sure if the person in front of me is Arin.

"I somehow survived and came all this way to meet you, so how dare you utter such words?

Did I just... crawl out of that fucking place just to meet some ridiculous girl?"

Every time I took a step closer, Arin recoiled.

As if it were a habit, even though she was standing in a corner with nowhere left to retreat.

"Did I survive there just to meet some pathetic, idiotic bitch with no proper job?

Don't tell me I killed so many living people just to meet someone like you. That shouldn't be the case, should it?"

I unconsciously reached out my hand to Arin's face.

"I-I kept trying to give up hope. Thinking that someone like you... someone like you would be a mess even if I met them. Thinking there's no way you'd be in a proper state after coming to the capital, I kept trying to give up on you somehow."

I held her chin and turned it this way and that.

Her appearance is the same, though.

Her appearance is the same.

"In the end, I hoped."

Her outer appearance is the same, so why does her inner self always change?

This child wouldn't have died either.

"Th-that's how it is, isn't it? You... you were a light to me."

She wouldn't have died like me.

"Then you should have remained a valuable person."

She wouldn't have killed countless people either.

"Whatever you did by following another man, or falling in love with another man... you should have at least remained shining. Did I just hope on my own and get disappointed? What does it matter?"

There's no way I would feel sympathy seeing Arin living miserably.

When she lived in the village, she was happy, but even if she shows signs of living a miserable and difficult life after coming to the capital, there's no way I could feel sorry for her.

Because Arin shouldn't be like that.

"From the moment we first met, you should have at least drawn a line by calling me Professor. Seems like it could be helpful, right? Since I'm dressed neatly and hold a reasonably good position. Since you came all this way by clinging to another man, are you going to throw yourself at me, just like you used to?"

Arin started to sob.

And yet, the words that had already spilled out couldn't be taken back.

"But is it even worth spending my time on a prostitute like that?"

Wiping away the tears she had shed, I spoke blankly.

"Did I really keep dying all those times just to meet someone like you?"

Then I drew a sword and slashed my throat, then stabbed my heart.

『Someday, I want to ride a carriage! Riehen, have you ever ridden one? Hmm... you have, haven't you? Then have you ever seen a mage right before your eyes? Heh, no, you haven't! Also, I want to travel here and there with you.』

[Synchronization Rate Increased! 0.1%↑]

Arin, crying in the corner, came into my sight again.

『Your whole body is bruised again today. It's okay to cry. I'm the only one watching, you know? If you're embarrassed... hmm, I'll give you a tight hug. So no one can see.』

[Synchronization Rate Increased! 0.1%↑]

Again.

『You want to join the knight order but your skills aren't improving, and that's bothering you? I won't tell you to try harder. You're already trying hard enough, Riehen. Just... if it's tough, sometimes vent to me. This big sister will listen to everything!』

[Synchronization Rate Increased! 0.1%↑]

Maybe I should just... get rid of the girl in front of me.

Then it could all end.

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