WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈

Chapter 6: Forest of Four Seasons (1)

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Human Park Jong-hyeok.

Overcame the greatest crisis of his life.

Thanks to Passing Dwarf, I had gotten past that huge crisis, but the problem wasn't completely resolved yet.

These little cocoa balls kept making my stomach hurt. The I-need-to-shit kind of hurt, too.

'The Heavenly Demon wouldn't have given me spoiled food.'

It tasted bitter, but there was no sour smell, so it definitely wasn't spoiled.

My body probably just couldn't handle it. Shit was nothing but waste anyway, so it wasn't like there was anything wrong with me.

The real problem would be if nothing came out at all. That would mean I hadn't eaten anything.

It wasn't diarrhea, either, so there was no risk of dehydration. For now, I could write it off as a minor incident.

'I'll wait until the Heavenly Demon gives me something else.'

I stored the toilet paper Passing Dwarf had given me in a corner. Even the toilet paper was different from what I knew.

It was a little rough and didn't absorb very well, so cleanup had been a struggle.

Still, having it was far better than not. Toilet paper could be used for all sorts of things.

'More importantly, where the hell am I?'

I meant this world, not the forest. The fact that there was a Gallery despite there being no internet was strange enough.

It even floated in front of me like a status window, so there were way too many things I wanted to know.

After wondering what to look into first, I decided to figure out how this world was structured.

There seemed to be all kinds of races, so it was better to learn about them now.

'It looks like the main races are humans, elves, Dark Elves, beastfolk, demonkind, and dwarves.'

There were four human nations, one nation where the races were evenly mixed, and one nation for each of the other races.

There were also regions that weren't recognized as nations. Most of those were populated by humans.

I wondered why humans were the most numerous, but I could find that out later.

Getting a grasp on basic common sense was more urgent than learning every little detail.

That way, people wouldn't think I was insane when I went outside.

[Post title] Listen up, knife-ears

[Post] Fuck, stop cutting down trees and planting new ones everywhere. You guys are making the rest of us suffer.

└ [LetsGrowTrees]: Why? If the world has more trees, won't there be more resources for everyone?

└ Those bastards dig up all our trees and only plant their own.

└ Then they claim the trees belong to them and insist the land is theirs too. Seriously.

└ Average knife-ear behavior lol.

└ [LetsGrowTrees]: We don't dig them up recklessly. We only plant them in suitable soil! It's even depicted on the World Tree Watermelon Map.

└ Can't somebody kill these knife-eared bastards? Is talking to them that hard?

└ Nope. The Elven Queen is insane too, so you can't reason with her.

└ Are we seriously going to have a war at this rate?

└ The Elven Queen still has enough sense to toe the line really well lol.

What surprised me was how elves were treated. The elves I knew were a noble race that loved nature.

But judging by how the Gallery talked about them... they had practically been branded the world's most hated race.

[Post title] Knife-ear traits

[Post] They used to brag about being superior, then got their asses kicked by other races.

[Post] After getting their asses kicked, they schemed behind the scenes and got their asses kicked again.

[Post] Now they get caught secretly planting trees and get their asses kicked again.

[Post] Do these bastards have no ability to learn?

└ Watch your mouth. We once fought the entire world.

└ And got your asses kicked by humans. Want to lose again?

└ Lolololol.

└ [LetsGrowTrees]: We have no intention of fighting. We are a race that loves peace.

└ Bullshit. Then why do you throw a fit over territory?

└ [LetsGrowTrees]: Because it was originally elven territory. Isn't it only natural for us to take it back?

└ Ha, fuck lol.

└ From their perspective, they're right. They're long-lived, after all lol.

└ For humans, it was probably only ten years ago.

└ These days... the young ones... keep causing trouble... I am truly sorry...

└ Oh dear, sir. You must have it rough.

└ I heard the Grand Council is the one suffering because of the Elven Queen lol.

└ Shouldn't it normally be the other way around?

└ The queen is just that crazy.

└ Nothing matters in the face of true madness, yeah.

Um... let's move on. If I went outside, I should avoid getting involved with elves as much as possible.

This registered user, LetsGrowTrees, kept appearing in posts about elves, so they were probably an elf.

Seeing how many users knew them, they seemed to be a big name like the Heavenly Demon or SwordTasteMaster.

Still, they didn't get much support because they had built up a huge stack of dislike.

'That should be enough of this. Maybe I should look into swordsmanship.'

Since survival was my priority, I couldn't spend too much time studying common sense.

Then again, I couldn't wander around carelessly until I got a compass.

I checked a post written by SwordTasteMaster. It was a basic swordsmanship guide.

[Post title] You Can Do It Too! Swordsmanship Lecture, Basics Part 1

[Author] SwordTasteMaster

[Post] Before getting into it, if you don't really know how to fight yet, carry a shield along with your sword. I recommend focusing on swordsmanship after you learn how to fight.

[Post] Think shields aren't cool? Show off and you might die a fool's death. You're a complete newbie who knows nothing right now, so shut up and carry a shield.

[Post] Also, if you can't use mana, I recommend learning a Mana Cultivation Method first.

That was all well and good, but how the hell was I supposed to learn a Mana Cultivation Method? I blinked.

I knew mana existed in this world and that people became stronger through it.

That was it.

I had absolutely no idea where to get a Mana Cultivation Method.

'Even the featured posts are all weird shit...'

I scratched my head. The Gallery was great, but it was way too disorganized.

Aside from featured posts, the Auction House, and the marketplace, there were no real categories.

It seemed like I needed to find someone like SwordTasteMaster. Digging through the Gallery myself was far too inefficient.

'About thirty minutes until I can trade with the Heavenly Demon again.'

That was one thing the Gallery was good for. I could check the time.

Posts kept refreshing nonstop, so I could naturally get a sense of time passing.

There were still way too many of them. It was strange that my posts didn't get buried beneath the tidal wave.

[Post title] Does anyone know how to cultivate mana?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] Title says it all.

'Maybe it's because I'm a registered user?'

That thought occurred to me after I posted my question. Anonymous Users overwhelmingly outnumbered registered users.

Registered users were absurdly rare by comparison. Well, anonymity was important in a Gallery.

Being a registered user meant giving up half that anonymity. If your identity was ever exposed, a mountain of embarrassing history would pile up behind you.

While I was lost in thought for a moment, an alert rang. Someone had commented.

I immediately checked it. It was the Heavenly Demon.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Isn't a Mana Cultivation Method the same as an Inner Energy Cultivation Method in the Central Plains?

└ Yeah, that's right.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Then this lady shall teach you.

└ How good is the Mana Cultivation Method you know?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: It is a cultivation method that shatters the heavens and shakes the earth.

└ Lol, listen to how grand that sounds.

└ Sounds like a scammer lol.

Well. At least, I didn't think so. The reason was the sword.

I'd only ever held a bamboo sword while practicing kendo. Even so, the sword the Heavenly Demon had given me was terrifying.

The Heavenly Demon was likely a superhuman worthy of such a weapon. Ironically, that was why I hesitated to learn from her.

└ [Wild Grylls]: I feel like I'm receiving way too much from you. Is this really okay?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: You are this lady's benefactor and Fortuitous Encounter. Please allow me to repay your kindness.

└ [Wild Grylls]: I only need a compass and something to start a fire...

└ [Heavenly Demon]: That alone is nowhere near enough.

That just made me feel worse. I scratched my head.

I had found the New Moon Spirit Herb by accident, and I didn't even know whether the Heavenly Demon had truly been in danger.

One coincidence had led to another, and I hesitated a little.

'...No. What am I even saying in my situation?'

I'd accept her goodwill, but only as far as my conscience allowed. I just couldn't take too much.

I had a conscience too, so I intended to repay her however I could. I wrote a positive reply.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Okay. Please write it in a private post, though. It could attract trolls for no reason.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Very well. First, sit in the lotus position.

The lotus position? I tilted my head.

I knew it was the kind of term that would appear in martial arts novels. That was all I knew.

└ [Wild Grylls]: What's the lotus position?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: ?

└ Lolololol, she's flustered.

└ Isn't this the first time we've seen that old fart flustered? Lol.

Most of the replies were making fun of me. My confusion only lasted a moment before I searched the Gallery.

The lotus position must have been fairly common, because there were even pictures.

I picked a random post and copied it. Put my feet on top of my thighs, right?

"Arghhh!"

A girlish scream burst out of my mouth. I tried to untangle myself in a panic, only making it worse, and nearly cried.

Every joint in my legs felt like it was twisting apart. I lay sprawled on the floor, trembling.

Did I absolutely have to sit in the lotus position? I needed to ask the Heavenly Demon.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Heavenly Demon. Do I really have to sit in the lotus position? It hurts like hell;;;

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Why would that hurt? I cannot understand.

└ It does hurt when you first try it lol.

└ Work on your flexibility, bro lol.

In the end, I decided to learn the Mana Cultivation Method later. The Heavenly Demon must have found it ridiculous too, because she seemed understanding.

I asked in the comments whether I absolutely had to sit in the lotus position to cultivate mana.

└ Because it's the universally accepted rule.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Universally accepted rule?

└ Yeah. You don't have to know why. Just do it lol.

└ [Wild Grylls]: ;;;

Either way, it seemed like I would have to practice the lotus position slowly. Improving my flexibility in this situation wouldn't be easy.

Instead, I read SwordTasteMaster's post. Carry a shield instead of only a sword.

The advice was convincing, and it suited me right now, so I accepted it without much trouble.

'The problem is where to get a shield.'

Cutting down a tree and making one myself wasn't a bad choice. The sword was incredibly good, after all.

But chopping wood when I didn't even have water wasn't efficient.

'Oh. I should ask the Heavenly Demon if she can give me water too. A shield... that would be shameless.'

Moments like this made me wish the Gallery had one-on-one chats.

I had heard it used to, but I didn't know why they disappeared. Probably because people kept forming cliques.

First, I put a few bitter pellets on my palm. I intended to find out what they were for.

[Post title] Heavenly Demon. What's the name of this thing you gave me earlier?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (Photo of pellets on his palm)

[Post] Putting aside how bad it tastes, it isn't spoiled, right?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: They are Fasting Pills. They are somewhat bitter, but they are not spoiled.

└ [Wild Grylls]: It's more than a little bitter, thoughhh...

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Hm. They suited my palate.

└ Grandma taste buds.

└ Excuse me, but how old are you?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I do not know. Age is unimportant, is it not?

└ Old people always say things like that.

└ She really was an old fart lol.

I should probably be more respectful. She at least seemed older than me.

The Heavenly Demon herself didn't seem to care much, but there was no downside to building goodwill.

└ [Wild Grylls]: How many should I eat a day?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I understand that one is usually eaten per meal.

"Eh?"

I'd been eating them by the handful. There wouldn't be side effects, right?

└ [Wild Grylls]: I ate a lot of them... There aren't any side effects, are there?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I shall ask and return.

└ Your dick's gonna explode now lol.

└ Ex-plo-sion lol.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Don't say stuff like that, even as a joke...

I was scared it might actually happen. I had already started feeling strangely energized.

You might think that would be a good thing, but there was too much of it. I could feel heat rising through my body.

Getting sick in this situation would be the worst. I prayed nothing would happen.

After some time, the Heavenly Demon returned.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I asked an attendant. There are no side effects. On the contrary, they are good for the body. They especially remove accumulated waste from within it.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Waste?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: For ordinary people such as yourself, it usually comes out as feces.

└ [Wild Grylls]: What about feeling energized?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: They have effects similar to an elixir, so that is only natural.

Thank God. My Big Johnson wasn't going to explode.

I sighed in relief and rubbed my chest. The heat in my body was apparently a sign that I was absorbing energy.

Fasting Pills were a type of emergency ration, but they were extremely suitable for me right now.

'Since they're meant to be bare-minimum food, I'll have to eat plenty to get enough nutrition.'

Either way, I had to eat these bitter pellets. I wasn't in a position to hunt yet.

Even if I succeeded in hunting, it wasn't as though I could get every nutrient I needed.

└ Those little pellets have elixir-level effects? What a joke lol.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: They are Fasting Pills specially made for this lady's cultivation. Of course they do.

└ Then make me one too.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I shall make you one uniquely shaped Fasting Pill. [Middle finger]

└ Lolololol.

Between the sword and these things she ate, the Heavenly Demon was definitely someone important. But why did she use the Gallery?

Well, she had helped me tremendously. Without her, I would have died long ago.

While browsing the Gallery, a good idea suddenly came to me, and I posted a question.

[Post title] How much is a Mad Dog corpse worth?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] Could I at least buy one crappy shield?

└ You could probably get a used shield.

└ [Wild Grylls]: A new shield would be tough, right?

└ Yeah. Mad Dog hide isn't that good.

└ [Wild Grylls]: How much would it be worth? I want to trade it.

└ Just put it up in the Auction House.

└ [Wild Grylls]: I said I don't need money. Carrying it around would be a pain.

└ Oh right, you're a newbie. You don't need to carry it around. It stays stored in the Gallery.

Stored? I looked into it more carefully after reading the reply.

You could deposit cash directly into the Gallery, and each nation's currency was categorized separately.

Exchange rates applied as usual, but the worst part was the fees.

The fees were brutally high compared to ordinary Auction Houses, so it wasn't all good.

Still, usage was extremely high because of the enormous advantage of bypassing distribution entirely.

'What? Then I could've just put the New Moon Spirit Herb in the Auction House?'

This was why information mattered.

Still, I had saved someone's life and gained a valuable connection, so I could let it go.

Besides, the fees were terrifying, so there were plenty of users who traded directly instead of using the Auction House.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Then where do all the fees go? To the Head Mod?

└ Yeah. The Auction House and stuff are all under the Head Mod's jurisdiction. But I don't know what they do with it, because the Head Mod has no money.

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: We donate the fees to people in need and work toward improving the Gallery!

The Head Mod, who had been quiet until now, appeared. Their kind heart came through in the answer.

└ Head Mod... I'm a person in need too... Could you give me 10,000 gold...?

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: Ah...! I don't have any money right now...!

└ Fuck, don't give them anything.

└ This is why we need assistant moderators. Why doesn't the moderator appoint any?

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: It is better if I handle difficult work alone! Assistant moderators are unpaid, after all!

How many times had the Head Mod been stabbed in the back for Anonymous Users to stop them like that?

Even when an Anonymous User pretended to be needy, most replies told them not to say that, even as a joke.

It showed just how positive public opinion toward the Head Mod was. Still, how was the Head Mod chosen?

'I'll find that out later.'

For now, I needed to put the Mad Dog corpse up for auction. I stepped outside the cave.

I had left the Mad Dog corpse far away from the cave. I remembered the route, so there shouldn't be a problem.

"Snorf. Snorf. Munch, munch."

"..."

"Crunch! Crunch!"

I take that back. There was a problem.

A bear was enjoying a delicious mukbang with the Mad Dog corpse. No, an owl.

Its face was clearly that of an owl, but its body was bigger than a bear's. I hurriedly posted a picture.

[Post title] What the hell is this thing?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (Photo of something happily eating the Mad Dog corpse)

[Post] Fuck, I came to get the Mad Dog corpse, and this fat bastard is eating it. Does anyone know what this is?

└ Holy shit, that's an Owlbear.

└ It's an Owlbear, sure, but why is it so huge?

└ Fuck, a house is walking around lol.

└ One hit from those claws and you're dead.

So that was an Owlbear. The moment I learned what it was, I slowly backed away.

I did all the work, and someone else reaped the rewards. Still, at least I had kept my life.

'Fuck. I need to get away fast.'

A wild dog was one thing, but a bear was another. It was absurdly huge.

I slowly retreated until I had put some distance between us, then ran for the cave.

What would have happened if I had arrived a little earlier? Just imagining it made me dizzy.

'What do I do? Should I defend the cave?'

Unknown dangers lurked outside, but I was terrified of the Owlbear if I hid in the cave.

I had barely escaped the greatest crisis of my life, only for another crisis to arrive. The Heavenly Demon’s Sword was the only thing I could rely on.

[System] Heavenly Demon has requested a trade. Would you like to accept?

While I trembled with anxiety, the Heavenly Demon initiated a trade. Judging by the time, it was about right.

I hurriedly accepted her offer. At the same time, the familiar blank spaces appeared.

[System] Heavenly Demon has registered trade items.

[Heavenly Demon]: These are the compass and Ignition Stone you requested. The Ignition Stone can be charged with Internal Energy.

[You]: Thank you. But I don't know how to use Internal Energy. Do you have anything else?

[Heavenly Demon]: Hm? How do you access the Gallery if you cannot use Internal Energy?

[Heavenly Demon]: Just as with the lotus position, you are strange.

From what the Heavenly Demon said, it seemed I needed to know how to use Internal Energy, or mana, to access the Gallery.

It was hard to explain on my end too, since all kinds of strange phenomena had unfolded the moment I opened my eyes.

It would be difficult to explain everything, so I answered first.

[You]: My circumstances make it difficult to explain in detail. We don't have much time either.

[Heavenly Demon]: Hm. Very well. In any case, pressing the button will produce fire from the Ignition Stone, so you should be able to use it. Is there anything else you need?

[You]: Excuse me, but could you give me some water too...?

[Heavenly Demon]: If it is your request, I will gladly do so.

[You]: Oh, thank you!

I thanked the Heavenly Demon and accepted the trade items.

Then the relief supplies(?) were summoned onto the ground. A compass, an Ignition Stone, and a large water bottle.

Every single one had an Eastern style to it. I checked the Ignition Stone first.

'The button... is here.'

Whoosh!

When I pressed the button, a small flame rose along the edge. This would be enough.

Next was the compass. With a compass, escaping would become much easier.

People got lost in forests because they couldn't get their bearings. This alone would solve every...

"Huh?"

...problem, but a question came out first. My eyes widened.

There was something wrong with the compass, which should have stayed fixed in one direction. It wouldn't stay still and instead spun in circles.

Had the Heavenly Demon given me a broken one? Slightly flustered, I made a post.

[Post title] Heavenly Demon. I think the compass is broken?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (Video of a compass that has lost its sense of direction)

[Post] The needle is spinning in circles. Why is it doing this...? I think you gave me a broken one...

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Hm? That should not be possible. It was perfectly fine when I sent it.

The Heavenly Demon commented right away. I could only become more confused.

Why would a compass that had been fine until just now act like this? This put me in an even worse position.

└ Did something get messed up during the trade?

└ Nope, probably not. Trades work like teleportation.

└ It's rare for something to suddenly break.

└ It's spinning around nicely.

└ Like your life?

└ Shut up.

The other users were confused too. Why was the perfectly fine compass acting like that?

Of course, it might have broken by coincidence right after the trade. I needed something else.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Can anyone lend me a compass? I'll return it once the waiting period passes.

└ [Starlight Princess]: I'll give you one.

└ [PrincessChaenggu]: I'll give you one toooo.

└ [AllHailTheSun]: Me too.

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: I want to give you one too, but I don't have one, so I'm sad...

Had they sensed something unusual? Registered users who usually didn't comment started appearing in droves.

In that brief span, I seemed to have caught the big names' interest, likely because of the New Moon Spirit Herb.

Thanks to that, I received all sorts of compasses. There were so many different kinds.

[Post title] Fuck, they're all the same?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (Video of compasses spinning in circles)

[Post] They're all spinning like Outsider rapping at full speed, with no sense of direction at all. Why the hell is this happening?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Strange.

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: That is strange.

└ [PrincessChaenggu]: So weird, thoughhh.

└ [Passing Dwarf]: What's wrong with those? Did you pour alcohol on the compasses?

└ [Wild Grylls]: Shut up.

They were all in the same condition. Every one of them spun in circles.

While everyone was wondering, a few users began discussing possibilities in the comments.

└ There is exactly one situation where that can happen, yeah.

└ What is it?

└ When you enter the Forest of Four Seasons. I heard magnetism and mana get all messed up there, so compasses don't work.

└ Don't talk shit. If that were the case, you couldn't access the Gallery either.

└ But the Forest of Four Seasons is the only possibility.

└ All those compasses couldn't have broken.

└ Where the hell is the OP? Lol.

└ Got drunk and took a trip to the Forest of Four Seasons lol.

Everyone seemed uncertain. There were two opinions for now.

The compasses were broken, so I was in the Forest of Four Seasons.

No, I couldn't access the Gallery if I were in the Forest of Four Seasons.

Either way, I reached one conclusion.

'...I think I'm fucked.'

Something about this situation was seriously wrong.

Footnotes:

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