WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 12: Management Bureau
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[Amor Fati <- If You Can’t Remember How the Gallery Got By Without This Newbie, Upvote lol]
[Author: Poisoned My Blade]
A fixed outcome changed?
Interdimensional trade is possible?
Traded goods follow regression?
LOL
Anyone in the Infinite Regression Gallery looking forward to the next trade opening, hurry up and upvote this.
ㄴMartial God) I can’t not upvote this.
ㄴVampire Princess) Upvote, and another upvote it is.
ㄴArchmage) Hahaha! They follow regression? That makes three rules broken already!
ㄴPuppetmaster) ...Upvote.
ㄴSolo Hero*) This guy’s always so prickly. First time I’ve seen him this hyped.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Of course I’m hyped. A happy ending is actually within sight now, isn’t it?
ㄴSolo Hero*) True lol
After returning to my studio apartment, showering, and toweling off my hair, I was browsing the Infinite Regression Gallery.
Seeing how excited everyone was made me happy too.
“They look so much better smiling.”
I’d been worried, deep down.
If the chocolate bars I sent Dungeon Rogue hadn’t followed their regression, it would’ve felt like I’d done something terrible.
‘Giving something and taking it back is the worst.’
But fortunately, items traded through my trading feature did follow regression.
Half the gallery was now flooded with Dungeon Rogue’s bragging, but everyone seemed to be congratulating them.
I sincerely celebrated along with them, upvoting every one of Dungeon Rogue’s flex posts.
Then I suddenly noticed that the gallery didn’t seem to have a featured-post section.
“How am I only noticing this now?”
Normally, there should’ve been a featured-post tab right next to the All Posts category, but the Infinite Regression Gallery didn’t even have a button for it.
“All Posts on the left, then right next to it is Notices? The post tags are Chat, Tips... There’s even Original Fiction? There’s all this crap, but no featured posts?”
After scrolling past the meaningless tags for ages, a featured-post button finally appeared shyly at the very end.
When I clicked it out of curiosity, the most recent featured post was from a full seven hundred years ago.
“Good lord.”
Curious, I left a comment.
ㄴAmor Fati) Guys, why are there no featured posts? Everyone’s upvoting so much, but nothing’s getting featured?
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) There is a sad legend behind that, brother. Sob...
ㄴSolo Hero*) The cutoff is fifteen upvotes, but we don’t have enough users to reach it.
ㄴAmor Fati) Holy shit lol
ㄴAmor Fati) Can’t you change the cutoff? You’re the head mod.
ㄴSolo Hero*) There was an issue when the previous head mod transferred their authority to me, so I can’t adjust the cutoff.
The Infinite Regression Gallery was a gallery saddened by the lack of featured posts.
“Man, if featured posts were possible, I’d be churning them out.”
It was a shame to miss out on the cool star-shaped badge, but it couldn’t be helped.
Still, it wasn’t like I was incredibly disappointed.
Anything I posted was basically a featured post anyway.
I dried my hair, then threw myself onto the bed.
“Whew!”
The fulfillment of having cleared a floor.
The fact that I’d become a source of hope for the gallery users longing for a happy ending.
And above all, the heartwarming feeling that I could change a future destined for destruction.
I’d only cleared one tutorial, yet so much had changed.
So today, I needed to rest and seriously consider how to develop my character from here on.
I could only enter a stage once per day anyway.
I could enter the Tower itself, but all that waited there was that pure white space.
At least, that was how I remembered it.
With nothing else to do, I stared at the Snake Dagger on my desk and thought.
‘The boss from Normal-difficulty Floor 10 in the tutorial.’
The Tower at Infinity difficulty had blocked my advantage of future knowledge from the very beginning.
That meant I had no way of predicting what kind of obstacles lay ahead.
What if I built only a melee strength character, then ran into a ranged sniper with infinite physical defense?
I’d waste time and have to start over from scratch.
‘Then is an all-rounder build the answer?’
A versatile character who could handle as many situations as possible.
Or, put another way, a muddled build that could do neither this nor that.
‘But I’m an infinite regressor.’
Or, put another way.
‘A fucking huge all-rounder build is the answer.’
I needed to become an overpowered build so broken it demanded an emergency patch.
‘Looking at it that way, I really am leaning more toward a battle mage, just like Master said.’
With movements incorporating the principles of martial arts, I could handle close combat with a dagger and make magic my primary damage dealer.
According to Master, once I moved beyond Property Transformation and reached the Word of Power stage, I’d be able to use magic that was truly magical.
“Hehe.”
Just imagining it made me itch all over.
It was fun. So damn fun.
From the moment I awakened as an infinite regressor, there had been no room in my life for a word like boredom.
‘What could be waiting on the next floor?’
Using future knowledge to cheese my way through was nice, but there was also a special thrill in going in blind.
I calmed my excited heart and tried to sleep.
Tomorrow was the day I would finally tackle Floor 1.
Keeping myself in top condition was essential for a professional.
So...
“Just five more minutes, then I’ll sleep.”
Turning onto my side, I opened the Infinite Regression Gallery.
[Newbie Can’t Sleep...]
[Author: Amor Fati]
Post some goodnight stickers for me.
As I giggled and waited for the gallery users’ comments, Martial God replied first.
ㄴMartial God) By the way, Newbie, is your old job okay? I heard you’re famous. It probably won’t be easy to retire. Are you okay with penalties for breaking your contract and all that?
ㄴMartial God) When I was a newbie, I got involved with the criminal underworld, and I had to cut off a finger to sever those ties.
I shook my head at Martial God’s comment.
“What kind of yakuza group makes you cut off your finger...?”
The more I saw, the more I felt that the martial world really wasn’t a place fit for people to live.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Martial God is right. You need to cleanly settle your old job to move comfortably as an infinite regressor. If it’s difficult to cut ties, I can help.
Martial God and even Puppetmaster were worried about me. It made me smile.
“Haha.”
Seriously, everyone treated me like a kid.
I could understand why.
Having only recently awakened as an infinite regressor, I must have seemed immature to these seasoned gallery users.
They probably thought I was some young working adult scared of contract penalties, too softhearted to quit my job easily.
‘But as an orphaned pro gamer, I’ve surprisingly been through all kinds of hardship.’
From housing-deposit scams to the infamous slave contracts in the pro-gaming scene.
With no parents or connections to back me up, I learned how the world worked by getting knocked around.
In other words, I knew my value better than anyone.
Especially when I held the upper hand, I knew how to use it properly.
ㄴAmor Fati) I hold the cards, so I’m good.
ㄴMartial God) You hold the cards, not the employer? Hard to believe, but that’s a relief then.
ㄴPuppetmaster) I don’t really understand how things work in Newbie’s world, but are you really sure it’s okay?
ㄴAmor Fati) Not sure how the Gallery translates it, but do you know what an FA is?
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) LMAO, then Newbie really does hold the cards lol
FA. Free Agent.
Once a contract with your original team ended, you became free to sign with another team.
For pros without skill, the end of a contract term might be a heavy thing.
“But not for me.”
To put it crudely, my price was whatever I named.
In fact, during my first run, I transferred to another team around this time.
I’d gone from strength to strength afterward, only to retire when I developed Tower Obsession Syndrome.
“What are they going to do if I retire now?”
Even if they clung to my pant leg and begged me to stay, all I had to do was wave goodbye and enter the Tower.
Stay with the team because of emotional attachment?
Sorry, but I wasn’t the kind of person to be swayed by that much sentiment.
‘They’re just coworkers, that’s all.’
If there were a team where I could show my abilities more fully, I’d change the emblem on my chest without hesitation.
And in that sense, the place I belonged now wasn’t the pro-gaming scene. It was the Tower.
The Tower, Monolith.
The magnificent surreal game that had been my lifelong wish.
Besides, I had more than enough reasons to enter the Tower.
‘Enjoy popularity as a pro gamer and make a little money VS grow into the savior of the gallery users and the world and make a fuckton of money.’
You’d have to be an idiot not to pick the latter!
Of course, those were only surface-level reasons.
I just didn’t want to do anything except enter the Tower.
“Ah, now that I think of it, should I just wrap things up?”
I was wide awake now, anyway.
Strike while the iron was hot.
I didn’t want to keep spending time on real-life matters forever.
I immediately contacted the team owners who had sent me offers.
“I’m retiring!”
* * *
The Presidential Office of the Republic of Korea.
The president, the Minister of National Defense, the Minister of the Interior and Safety, the Director of the National Intelligence Service, and figures who could be called the leaders of South Korea had gathered there.
Amid the heavy silence, the president spoke first.
After running a hand through his hair, he tossed a document onto the table.
“Does this make any sense? Something like that rises in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and we still don’t even know what it is? And what’s this supposed to be? A extinction timer? Players? This isn’t some children’s game.”
At those words, everyone gathered there began sweating profusely.
How would they know?
Overnight, the world had turned upside down.
In the United States alone, the national system was on the verge of paralysis because of information control.
The president pointed at a young soldier trembling like an aspen tree.
“So this extinction timer was reset. Is that true? I hear the person was Korean?”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The young soldier sprang to his feet with perfect military posture and shouted.
“P-private! Kim-”
“Ah, enough. Just get to the point.”
“Y-yes, sir! This morning, I saw a translucent window that only I... I mean, it’s probably visible only to players, who are also called Awakened-”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
A dry sound rang through the Presidential Office, cutting off the soldier.
“Listen. I said get to the point.”
“I-I’ll correct that, sir! A message appeared saying that a Korean player at Infinity difficulty had cleared the tutorial, and the extinction timer was reset!”
“All right, geez, you’re going to burst my eardrums. Sit down.”
“T-thank you!”
Then the Minister of National Defense, seated beside the soldier, offered his opinion to the president.
“Mr. President, the American side has already reached a conclusion. That Tower isn’t made of any substance that exists in this world. Furthermore, it’s continuously scattering unprecedented energy waves across the globe... The scientists say that if it explodes, its destructive power would not even be comparable to a nuclear bomb.”
The president rubbed his face wearily.
Just what was that Tower, and why was it calling players into it?
They couldn’t know the truth.
The only thing they did know was that the threat of humanity’s destruction was no empty threat.
Rather than engaging in idle debate about what the Tower was, it was time for practical measures.
“So, how many points did you say?”
“P-private, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll correct that, sir!”
The private’s survival instincts had sensed the Minister of National Defense narrowing his eyes.
“If the extinction timer runs out and fifty thousand points are not collected within one week, humanity will be destroyed! One point is awarded for each floor cleared, and players across the country pool their points together!”
His pronunciation became crisp in an instant.
Apparently satisfied with the answer, the Minister of National Defense and the president nodded.
“Fifty thousand points. Private Park, have you entered the Tower?”
Private Kim made no particular effort to point out that his surname was Kim.
“I’m sorry! I was too scared to enter it!”
“No, no. There’s nothing to apologize for. That’s only natural. Besides, it’s only one point anyway.”
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The president drummed his fingers on the desk, then spoke again.
“Infinity difficulty. They say that player can reset the extinction timer simply by clearing floors?”
“Yes, sir!”
The president leaned deeply into the back of his chair.
“So an unknown individual beyond the control of the military and police holds humanity’s right to survival in their hands.”
A heavy silence settled over the Presidential Office.
The president was again the one to break it after a while.
“Private Choi, you awakened and became a superhuman, correct?”
“Yes, sir! Just like in the game Cross Line, I can see where my shots will land!”
“Don’t say anything complicated. I won’t understand.”
“I’ll correct that, sir! A red dot marks where a bullet will arrive!”
A superhuman.
A genuine superhuman, the kind found only in movies and comics.
That superhuman existed in front of them.
Clear proof that the tide of the era was shifting.
The age of superhumans had only just begun.
The collapse of the existing social system was as plain as day.
They had to prevent that.
“Minister of the Interior and Safety. That organization you mentioned earlier. Can it launch immediately?”
A thin man with an expressionless face stood.
“Yes. It can launch immediately. We have prepared the name Tower Conquest Headquarters.”
“What kind of name is Tower Conquest Headquarters? It’s far too stiff.”
As though he had just thought of a good idea, the president raised one finger and continued.
“Look at Private Lee. He was too scared even to enter the Tower. At this rate, how will Awakened people, players, ever go clear it? Change the name. It needs to strongly give the impression that it protects and manages them. Keep it simple. Awakened Protection and Management Bureau. How about it? Much better, right?”
“Yes, understood.”
“Ah, and I’ll hand over whatever authority you need, administrative, judicial, economic, all of it. But remember this one thing.”
No one objected to the insane notion of handing all administrative, judicial, and economic authority to a single organization.
They knew it too.
That the era ahead would revolve around superhumans, in other words, the Awakened.
“I’m listening.”
“That person who cleared Infinity difficulty... Find them first. Whatever it takes, they must be in our hands. Do you understand? The Awakened Protection and Management Bureau’s first mission upon launch is securing the Infinity-difficulty clearer.”
The butterfly’s fluttering wings were creating a storm.
Footnotes:
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