WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 32: Second Floor, Second Try
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ㄴHeretic Exterminator) This person’s name is Slick Stoneheart.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) They entered our Sun Church at a very young age and spread wicked doctrines. One of the Fallen.
I could not help narrowing my eyes as I read Heretic Exterminator’s comment.
‘No, how can a priest be named Slick?’
Wouldn't you normally get suspicious at least once?
Still, I knew common sense in their world might differ from common sense in mine, so I silently watched Heretic Exterminator summarize the story.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) The problem was that it happened to be the Year of Rest, when Sola-Estella sleeps once every hundred years.
“Good grief.”
Why did clichés never fail to come true?
Or were they called clichés because they never failed?
Either way, as someone who enjoyed modern fiction, this was not exactly a new kind of story.
An academy story?
These days, you almost feel disappointed if there is no professor collaborating with demons.
A grand holy church or religious order in a fantasy setting?
Of course there had to be a corrupted priest.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) We never imagined that all the priests who should have filled the Church's gaps would have been replaced by the Fallen.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) By the time we realized it, the wicked demon's servants had already taken control of the Church.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) The Fallen preached that the dreadful archdemon Baal was Sola-Estella.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) As the direction of the faith changed, Sola-Estella gradually lost their power. They could not awaken from the Year of Rest and fell into a long slumber.
The archdemon Baal.
The final boss of Heretic Exterminator's world, who had planted spies in Sola-Estella's Sun Church and successfully corrupted its priests beyond recognition.
Apparently, Baal's divine authority closely resembled that of Sola-Estella, the chief deity worshipped by the Sun Church. That was why they had realized so late.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Until the moment they died, the Fallen deceived people into believing the archdemon Baal was Sola-Estella.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) It was a tragedy that could not be laughed at.
I clicked my tongue at the terrible past Heretic Exterminator had endured, but only briefly.
I had no choice but to leave a comment.
‘Wait. There are gods and demons there, so why is nobody talking about causality?’
After all.
Even the Demon King and Monolith could supposedly manipulate causality. Her world had actual gods, like the Outer God in Puppetmaster’s world.
ㄴAmor Fati) Wait, sorry to interrupt, but Sola-Estella, the one the Church worships, is a god, right?
ㄴAmor Fati) So why is nobody there talking about causality or Transcendents or anything?
ㄴPuppetmaster) Because divinities have ranks too.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Ah, um....
ㄴPuppetmaster) That world is overflowing with demons and gods.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Archmage would probably be treated as a demigod there.
ㄴPuppetmaster) I might even be called the god of machinery or dolls.
ㄴMartial God) I think I could live up to my username too lol
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) I-It is not that extreme!
ㄴArchmage) Hahaha.
The moment I saw Puppetmaster’s comment, I understood.
‘So the power balance in that world is a little weak. Like Dundo’s.’
If I had to compare it to something, it was like Olympus.
A world where all sorts of gods and demons caused havoc in the human world.
Just look at Zeus. Wouldn't you automatically think, ‘That delinquent is a god?’
That meant its gods and demons could not reach the level of Monolith from my world, the Outer God who was the final boss of Puppetmaster's world, or Solo Hero's Demon King.
Anyway, back to the point.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) After taking control of our Sun Church, Baal began moving in earnest.
The result was the setting of the Second Floor.
The tragedy of Eden Vale.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Blasphemously invoking Sola-Estella’s authority, the Fallen went around burning villages.
The rest of the story could be summarized like this.
As far as the Sun Church, now enslaved by Baal, was concerned, they needed to eliminate Heretic Exterminator, the true Saintess.
As it happened, Heretic Exterminator had been offering healing prayers in the plague-ridden village of Eden Vale.
So the corrupted paladins burned down the village and abducted Heretic Exterminator.
After a fierce battle, the corrupted paladins sealed Heretic Exterminator and were transporting her to the Sun Church headquarters for execution.
Because Baal's holy relic was there.
They intended to publicly execute the Saintess after branding her a witch, then absorb the remaining divine power within her into Baal's holy relic.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Therefore, if you merely awaken me from my seal, Brother, everything afterward will proceed smoothly.
The true nature of the vague mission was finally clear.
Enemy: Baal's Holy Grail.
NPC to rescue: Heretic Exterminator.
‘Game over. Purify every last one of them.’
Smiling, I left a comment.
ㄴAmor Fati) So where exactly are you?
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Hohoho, Brother, you will not need to search for me so painstakingly.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Slick. That person will lead you to me.
ㄴAmor Fati) (Strange character rubbing its chin sticker)
ㄴAmor Fati) A little more detail please
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Do you know why my username is Heretic Exterminator rather than Saintess?
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) It is because I am thoroughly accustomed to dealing with the Fallen!
“Ooh.”
I see.
I suddenly felt incredibly reassured.
So there was a reason her username was Heretic Exterminator rather than Saintess!
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) So, Brother, I am sorry to ask this of you....
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) But I believe you will have to play the role of Baal's servant for a little while....
ㄴAmor Fati) What is there to be sorry about?
ㄴAmor Fati) You know I like playing the sinister mastermind.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) LOL, agreed
After that, Heretic Exterminator explained in detail how I could act like a demon's minion.
How to use demonic sigils and wicked prayers.
Honestly, I wondered if such things alone could fool an archdemon's servants, but then...
ㄴArchmage) Do not worry.
ㄴArchmage) Broadly speaking, demonic sigils and prayers are not greatly different from the mana circuits and Words of Power handled in magic.
ㄴArchmage) That means they possess special power in themselves.
I had even received a bold assurance from my always dependable first master, Archmage.
There was no longer any need to worry!
The framework of the plan was complete.
I enthusiastically browsed the gallery until dawn, discussing the details of the Second Floor strategy with the gallery users.
A strategy everyone agreed on did not come together as easily as expected.
This might be a free clear, but there were surprisingly many variables.
“M-Master? Aren't you tired?”
“Ah, five more minutes. Just five more minutes.”
* * *
The next morning.
I woke up with hollow eyes after staying up late browsing the gallery.
‘It feels like I did not even sleep five minutes.’
Still, I had results.
‘Plans A through Z are perfect!’
There were dozens of ways to handle unexpected situations alone!
With a satisfied smile, I looked at the temporary bed where Pinocchia had been lying.
As expected, Pinocchia had become smaller.
It must have been because she had turned on mana humidifier mode.
“Hehe. Can you feel it? This overwhelming density of mana?!”
I praised Pinocchia lavishly.
Especially for doing well without being ordered to.
As a result, the room became as bright as though a pink light had been turned on.
“Hehe!”
After that, I gave Pinocchia a heads-up that she would Awaken, so she would not be surprised.
Sure enough, Pinocchia Awakened at the same time as in the previous Run.
Honestly, I had secretly been hoping for something here too.
Like when I dealt with Lee Geon-woo last time, I thought I might be able to farm achievement points with an Infinite Regressor move.
For example, Achievement Unlocked: Prophet Who Sees the Future! Something like that.
But no achievement message appeared.
Instead, Pinocchia began looking at me with overflowing admiration, which was a reward in its own way.
“Master truly knows everything!”
“Applaud me more.”
“You are amazing!”
After that, I went through the regression routine without anything particularly special happening.
I sent Pinocchia to Monolith to farm the Black Iron Sword.
I crushed the Skill Jewel I had put off and acquired Split Thought.
‘Now that I think about it, I would be disappointed if the result changed.’
‘Agreed.’
After regaining my inner partner, I convinced Pinocchia, who returned with a Magic stone tied at her waist, with nonsense even I did not understand.
“I-Is that how it works?”
“Yes, that is how it works.”
“So that is how it works!”
Next, I sent Pinocchia disguised as Agent Lee Juhui to sell the Magic stone.
I got a generous helping of service from the director and completed the move the following day.
Then I showed Pinocchia the empty room and said,
“This is going to be the space for your personal workshop.”
“Gasp! Master truly knows everything!”
I grinned at Pinocchia’s expression as her admiration continued to grow.
I had not known before, but pretending to know everything using information from the future...
It was more fun than I had imagined.
It really felt like I had become omniscient and omnipotent.
After showing her around the house for a long time, I ordered a full Chinese restaurant course.
“What an overwhelming flavor...!”
Pinocchia's eyes widened with black bean paste around her mouth.
After cleaning up, she went back to Monolith and farmed Magic stones.
After that, well.
‘Even if the strategy is decided, I cannot just loaf around.’
I trained and trained some more.
Of course, the special part of this Run was that I shortened my training time a little and took nightly walks with Pinocchia.
“Waaah!”
While Pinocchia gaped at the night view in awe.
‘Ah, mosquitoes, damn it!’
I was losing my mind over mosquitoes.
Pinocchia was a doll, so mosquitoes did not bite her.
I had never expected them to pierce even the skin of an enhanced human and suck my blood.
You are strong, Adidas mosquito.
Of course, if I had enhanced my body with my core, mosquitoes would have been no problem at all.
But not wanting to use mana just to climb the neighborhood's back hill had been my fatal mistake.
Thinking I would just go home and put on some medicine, I opened the Infinite Regression Gallery.
[Martial God, if I take an Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons elixir, mosquito bites will not itch, right?]
[Author: Amor Fati]
Urgent.
Hurry.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) LOL
ㄴArchmage) Most likely. A mosquito bite is poison of a sort, is it not?
ㄴMartial God) I think so, but
ㄴMartial God) wait, I will ask
Not long after, Martial God made a post.
Scratching my thigh furiously, I read it closely.
[I saw the newbie's question post and got curious too, so I asked.]
[Author: Martial God]
(Thumbnail of Tang Hwi-un looking at someone like they are an idiot)
(Thumbnail of Tang Hwi-un with a black eye)
But the way this bastard looked at me pissed me off, so I punched him once.
Honestly, I would not care if he looked at me like that, but that means he gave the newbie's question that look too, right? Yeah.
And I cannot let that slide;;
Anyway, he says mosquito bites will not itch once you have Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons.
ㄴVampire Princess) Did you not simply wish to beat him up?
ㄴSolo Hero*) LOL You are a legend for actually asking that.
ㄴAmor Fati) Question answered!
I snickered at Martial God's post, then called Pinocchia over.
“Shall we head down soon, Pinocchia?”
“Yes! Today's walk was wonderful too!”
* * *
At last, the long-awaited day of entry arrived.
Pinocchia and I stood side by side in the training room.
“U-Um, I feel kind of nervous!”
Me too.
I had a good feeling about this Run.
I recalled what I had said during the previous Run.
-Okay, then see you later.
Right, I had definitely said that.
The emotions from that time came flooding back.
‘Back then, I was not sure about Pinocchia's regression or whether we could clear it in one try, was I?’
Since I had not been certain, I had given her the vague farewell of see you later.
‘But things are different now.’
This time, absolutely.
I would clear it without regressing.
Overcoming hardships through infinite retries had its own appeal.
But a free clear had its own appeal too, did it not?
That was why, with certainty this time, I patted Pinocchia on the shoulder and said,
“What do you want for dinner later?”
“Hmm. Pinocchia has tried so many things thanks to Master, but this time, I would like to try sashimi. Sashimi!”
“Good. Sashimi it is. I will treat you to a full course of flounder sashimi, tuna sashimi, and raw beef.”
“Waaah!”
“You are ready, right?”
“Yes!”
Pinocchia and I struck cool flying-hero poses.
Then we shouted together.
“Enter!”
“Enter!”
Fwoooosh!
* * *
The same white space as always.
And the familiar message.
I opened the Infinite Regression Gallery.
Heretic Exterminator had uploaded the symbol of the archdemon Baal.
Using the Snake Dagger, I drew the symbol on my forehead.
Blood streamed down between my brows.
I did not bother wiping it away for the sake of detail.
Instead, I licked the flowing blood with my tongue.
Lick.
I rolled back my eyes and made my body tremble.
“Ahh, I can feel it! The authority and blessing of the archdemon Baal, disguised as Sola-Estella!”
At that moment, I had become a true fanatic.
I downgraded my core to avoid suspicion.
Then I activated Split Thought and immediately left the Safe Zone.
Being able to get a free clear on this floor was thanks to Heretic Exterminator’s strategy guide.
But my Split Thought would play a very, very big role in the process.
“Long live Sola-Estella!!!”
“Be purified!!!”
Footnotes:
“Adidas mosquito” is a Korean nickname for a striped mosquito, referring to the three-stripe Adidas logo.
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