WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 9: The Infinite Regression Gallery’s Idol
──────
Martial God Dan Woo-hyeon.
Once an ordinary shop assistant, he had stepped into the realm known as the Martial God through infinite regression.
Across the vast Central Plains, he was an absolute powerhouse with no equal except the Heavenly Demon.
He opened the Infinite Regression Gallery, the communication window for infinite regressors like himself, and began recording a video.
It was for Amor Fati’s attempt at the Orc Chieftain.
“Watch closely, Amorru Patiii.”
No matter how many times he tried it, the name had a truly strange pronunciation.
Dan Woo-hyeon had encountered many worlds through the gallery.
No matter how vast the Central Plains might be, could it compare to the combined size of universes from other dimensions?
He had long since stopped hesitating to accept the cultures of other dimensions.
In other words, he could recite the traits of a monster called an orc with his eyes closed.
Exceptionally tough skin.
Boar-like tusks and enough brute strength to shatter a boulder with a single blow.
Above all, a fiery temperament unmatched in its battle lust.
Considering Amor Fati’s level, he diligently recorded useful evasive maneuvers to use against the Orc Chieftain.
As for attack techniques, even the basic qi circulation method the Archmage had just taught them would be fairly useful. Avoiding attacks was the priority for now.
After uploading the video, Dan Woo-hyeon felt a little anticipation.
“Let’s see how far they can keep up.”
Honestly, before creating a core, the newcomer’s movements had been ordinary at best.
Their field of vision surpassed even that of a first-rate martial artist with ease, but their use of their body showed not even a trace of talent.
But after creating a core, they had come back like a completely different person.
“How strange.”
It was not easy to deliberately correct movements ingrained over a lifetime.
That was why it was advantageous to begin martial arts training at a young age.
Stiff qi meridians and impurities built up in the body were problems too, of course.
But it was also important to correct one’s stance before bad habits took root.
The newcomer was clearly only around twenty.
Far too late to begin martial arts training.
Still, it was fine.
Because a fixed outcome that should never have changed had changed, the newcomer had obtained a priceless elixir and created a core.
Qi meridians and bodily impurities meant nothing now.
But what about their movements?
He had thought that was one area an elixir could not solve.
“Isn’t it like a third party is controlling their body?”
It felt as though an exceptional puppeteer were precisely moving a puppet.
Their vision had been keeping up, while their body had failed to follow.
“Could they have suffered from Nine Yin Severed Meridians?”
Geniuses suffering from Nine Yin Severed Meridians often grew explosively after obtaining a fortuitous opportunity.
That was how completely different they had become.
How could he not be excited?
“Heh heh heh.”
Not long after he uploaded the video, the newcomer made a post.
[Ha, I wasn’t even going to look at martial combat for a while.]
[Posted by: Amor Fati]
(Thumbnail: The Orc Chieftain’s attacks being dodged spectacularly)
This works lol
Not a secret that I tripped and cracked my head, though
ㄴSolo Hero*) Look at this? Your learning ability is insane. Having good eyes and internalizing something well enough to apply it are completely different things.
ㄴArchmage) ......Just don’t forget that magic is open to everyone.
“Bwahahahaha!”
Dan Woo-hyeon slapped his knee as he watched the newcomer’s video.
Insane.
This was completely insane.
So Solo Hero was not the only one with the mad talent to grasp the principle after seeing it once!
Was it because they were a professional gamer, a master of remotely controlling virtual puppets?
Their vision was already open, so they had no hesitation about handling their own body as if it were a puppet.
“Just as I thought!”
He even liked their mindset of thoroughly handling their body as though it belonged to a third party.
A normal person could not think like that.
Moreover, when ordinary newcomers were taught martial arts, they often became stiff as they focused solely on copying the movements. But this newcomer was not like that at all.
They adapted when necessary.
They changed their movements to suit the situation.
They were flexible.
That was the result of understanding the principles within the movements themselves.
Most of all, there was the alien mindset that did not fear death.
How could Amor Fati not seem lovable?
Dan Woo-hyeon had seen countless newcomers, but he could say with certainty that this one was special.
“Ha, at this rate, they’ll soon be soaking up everything the mod teaches them too.”
For now, it felt as though they could not understand Solo Hero’s movements because they had not fully developed yet, but that was only a matter of time.
When that happened, his own standing would shrink.
If he wanted to enjoy this, it had to be now.
Martial God Dan Woo-hyeon immediately left a comment.
In the words of another dimension, it could be called feedback.
ㄴMartial God) lol Newbie, you seriously have talent. Looks like you tripped when you twisted your body in a hurry, but that’s because of the ground. I’ll teach you, so watch and give it another go.
ㄴAmor Fati) kk
“Ah, this isn’t the time!”
Over a long time spent on the Infinite Regression Gallery, he had learned one truth.
Eating a feast while watching entertaining videos doubled the flavor.
Now, food did not even go down well without the gallery.
The newcomer’s videos would keep appearing for a while.
After scratching his head, Dan Woo-hyeon headed for Sichuan.
“Right, those fucking bastards were going to poison me in a month, weren’t they?”
Today, he found himself craving the tongue-numbing mala flavors of Sichuan.
* * *
Tang Hwi-un, head of the Sichuan Tang Clan and the Myriad Poisons Cloud Master.
He wanted to frown deeply at the uninvited guest who had appeared without warning, but with superhuman patience, he put on a smile.
The person who had entered after smashing through the gates of the Sichuan Tang Clan was Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity Dan Woo-hyeon.
“Hwi-un, come out!”
An entrance worthy of a mad dog.
Who else in the Central Plains would not only call the clan head by name, but speak to him as though addressing an underling?
Apparently, destroying the altar at the Wudang Sect’s main temple had not been enough to quell his madness. Now he had come to wreak havoc at the Tang Clan.
Tang Hwi-un tried his best not to provoke Dan Woo-hyeon.
After all, this misbehavior would end in just one month.
“What brings Lord Extremity here?”
Dan Woo-hyeon’s aura immediately sharpened.
“Martial God.”
“......!”
“Not Extremity. Martial God.”
“C-Cough! I misspoke. So, what brings the Martial God to the Tang Clan?”
The chilling aura suppressing Tang Hwi-un instantly subsided.
Then, as though nothing had happened, Dan Woo-hyeon rubbed his stomach.
“I suddenly craved Sichuan food. Your lot repays favors a hundredfold and grudges a thousandfold, right?”
“......?”
“I’m going to mercifully spare your life, so repay that favor.”
What kind of mad nonsense was that?
Tang Hwi-un was not flustered.
This was far from the first time this lunatic had committed some incomprehensible eccentricity.
Had he not gone to the Wudang Sect, ranted about some newbie named Amorru Patiii, and smashed their altar?
You did not provoke a mad dog.
“Ho ho. Does the Martial God have any reason to kill this Tang Hwi-un? Yet you suddenly demand repayment for saving my life, so it is difficult to understand. Still, a distinguished man who has reached the extremity of martial arts has visited the Tang Clan. Naturally, we will not be lacking in hospitality.”
“Cut the bullshit. Did you think I wouldn’t know you’re planning to poison me to death in a month?”
“!”
Tang Hwi-un’s eyes widened.
‘How does he know?’
Only he and the elders knew of the plan to poison Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity.
Moreover, it had only been three days since they devised this dangerous plan.
Who was it?
Where had the information leaked from?
Just as Tang Hwi-un was thinking that, the wild-haired freak Dan Woo-hyeon blew his hair aside with a “Phew!” and glared at him.
“I know. There’s a way to know everything. So stop thinking stupid thoughts and bring out a feast already.”
“Ho ho. The Martial God seems to have some misunderstanding...”
“If you keep talking, I’ll kill you right here.”
“......”
Tang Hwi-un looked into Dan Woo-hyeon’s eyes.
This was not nonsense.
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity would do it.
He really would.
He would kill Tang Hwi-un, the clan head, in the Tang Clan’s front courtyard, stroll away without a care, and continue roaming the martial world.
“Cough!”
Tang Hwi-un called a maid and immediately ordered the cooks to prepare the meal.
This was not the time for excuses.
The man demanded a feast, so first, he would give him one.
Explanations could come afterward.
“I hope this misunderstanding can be resolved...”
That was when Dan Woo-hyeon fixed his eyes on empty space and burst into laughter loud enough to shake the Tang Clan.
“Bwahahahaha!”
“......?”
“Yes, exactly! I told you it was the ground! Ha, this newcomer is driving me crazy! The old men said they went mad from the joy of raising disciples in their old age. So this is what it feels like!”
Watching him, Tang Hwi-un swallowed dryly for the first time in a very long while.
No matter how much he spread out his senses to inspect the area.
He could not see the newcomer this madman was talking about.
‘M-Madman.’
He arrived out of nowhere and got offended by the word Extremity.
He suddenly demanded a feast.
He found out about the assassination plan and threatened to kill him, and now he was suddenly laughing at empty air.
There were many madmen in the world.
But Dan Woo-hyeon might have been the greatest madman of all time in terms of pure, unadulterated insanity.
“Ah, I shall show you the way.”
“Yeah, sure. Let me finish watching this.”
What exactly was he watching?
Tang Hwi-un did not want to understand in the slightest.
* * *
Amor Fati’s regressions continued for a month.
It was obvious that they were becoming more familiar with using their body each time they regressed.
[Ah, the time limit, fuck.]
[Posted by: Amor Fati]
(Thumbnail: The Orc Chieftain, panting furiously as it roars)
I’ve been grinding this for about a month, and now I can dodge it with my eyes closed.
Look how its skin turned red because I pissed it off lol
The process of condensing and fixing it has gotten way faster too.
If I sharpen this a little more, I think it’ll pierce its skin and reach its organs.
A real clear is close.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Newbie, why the hell can’t you do mine? What’s so good about that smelly old man?
ㄴAmor Fati) No, yours is seriously way too hard...
ㄴSolo Hero*) Why is this hard?
ㄴMartial God) lolololololololol Get lost, show-off.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Ah, should I seriously block you? Martial God is pissing me off.
ㄴArchmage) Enough martial combat already! You can dodge now, so move on to the next stage!
ㄴArchmage) If you move on to the advanced stages, property conversion and incantations, you can handle even more impressive magic!
ㄴAmor Fati) I’m sorry, Master. I feel like an epiphany is just about to come.
ㄴMartial God) Old man, you get lost too, show-off.
ㄴArchmage) Block him! Block him right now!
“Bwahahahaha!”
Had he been this happy lately?
Dan Woo-hyeon took a huge bite of duck smoked over pinewood and downed a cup of Sichuan’s finest liquor in one gulp.
“Wonderful! This is wonderful!”
Seeing the newcomer grow day by day made him this happy.
The newcomer had broken the rules of infinite regression, rules that had never been broken before. They were an existence outside the principles of heaven.
It might be something minor for now, but there was no predicting what result it could bring once they grew stronger.
Perhaps they might even be able to return a regression point that had become fixed.
Even that vague possibility made them indispensable, but they worked this hard and absorbed every lesson given to them.
Honey practically dripped from Dan Woo-hyeon’s eyes as he gazed at empty space.
Of course, it was the honey of delight at watching a disciple grow day by day, so please do not misunderstand.
“That’s it! You’ve gotten quite used to the footwork too!”
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity admired and rejoiced at the empty air nonstop, while literally devouring every delicacy before him like a starved ghost.
The Tang Clan’s financial problems?
As soon as word spread that Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity had settled into the Sichuan Tang Clan, every sect voluntarily sent tribute after tribute of exquisite food.
It surely meant they wanted the Tang Clan to keep him there as long as possible.
At first, Tang Hwi-un had wept tears of blood and trembled with humiliation, but that was long ago.
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity genuinely enjoyed himself, reacting as though he could see something before his eyes.
The content was absurd as well.
Something about a disciple climbing a tower and fighting monsters with strange pronunciations.
‘What in the world did he experience to see such mad delusions so realistically?’
Tang Hwi-un had given up trying to understand.
Favors? Grudges?
The Tang Clan’s prestige was soaring merely because it had this madman staying with them. What grudge could matter?
More importantly.
‘He may be mad, but his martial arts are real.’
Every so often, as though he truly wished to show his disciple, Dan Woo-hyeon demonstrated divine, peerless martial techniques atop the banquet table.
Tang Hwi-un knew at once.
Witnessing that moment had been pure chance.
Divine, peerless martial techniques worth risking one’s life to secretly observe were being displayed in the Tang Clan’s grand banquet hall.
At first, Dan Woo-hyeon seemed displeased, but after seeing the Tang Clan’s promising young disciples staring with bright eyes, he said,
“Instead of sneaking around so pathetically, just watch openly. You Tang Clan bastards have hearts the size of beans. Tsk.”
And he let them watch.
There was no reason to throw him out now.
Thanks to that, Tang Hwi-un had reached the point where he could more or less play along with the nonsense.
Another month passed.
* * *
“Tang Hwi-un!!! Tang Hwi-un!!!”
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity Dan Woo-hyeon’s cry shook the Tang Clan.
This was clearly different from his usual behavior.
Tang Hwi-un sighed and went to find Dan Woo-hyeon, wondering what novel kind of madness he would spout today.
“You... You! Come here and look!”
Dan Woo-hyeon looked terrible.
His limbs trembled.
His pupils shook wildly.
‘W-What is this? I certainly never put poison in the food.’
Tang Hwi-un had initially decided to take this chance to poison him, but the Tang Clan’s standing in the Martial Alliance had risen, and the younger generation was learning divine, peerless martial techniques. So he had decided to leave him alone.
Still, did these not resemble the symptoms of eating mushrooms that caused mental delusions?
“W-What am I meant to look at?”
“The newbie cleared the tutorial, cleared it! But the reward, fuck! This makes no sense! Is this right? I’m not seeing it wrong, am I? Look! Look at it!”
“Huh...”
Tang Hwi-un clicked his tongue inwardly.
That strange dialect again.
The man sometimes babbled in an incomprehensible language when excited, but today it was worse than ever.
His madness had apparently reached its peak.
For now, he needed to play along to avoid harm.
Tang Hwi-un pretended to look at something and replied,
“Hmm, my eyesight is poor, so I cannot see it well.”
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity looked at him as though he were an idiot, wondering why he could not see it. Then he seemed to realize something and waved his hand.
“Ah, never mind. I got carried away for a moment.”
Of course he could not see it... Dan Woo-hyeon added, then collapsed into a seated position.
“W-What!”
Tang Hwi-un spoke without thinking because he was so startled.
That Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity.
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity, who feared neither the imperial family, the Martial Alliance, the Blood Cult, nor the Demonic Cult.
‘He... knelt.’
His body even shook.
‘Is he crying? That Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity?’
He was a person impossible to predict.
But Tang Hwi-un’s guess was wrong.
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity Dan Woo-hyeon was not crying. He was laughing.
“Heh. Heh heh. Hehahah! Bwahahahahahaha!! Hahaha!!”
“Ghk!”
He had suddenly unleashed a sonic art.
Tang Hwi-un nearly suffered internal injuries.
Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity abruptly stopped laughing, rose to his feet, and gripped Tang Hwi-un’s shoulders hard enough to crush them.
“Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons.”
“Urgh, w-what did you say?”
“Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons. If you lot devote ten years to it, you can develop an elixir that makes the body immune to ten thousand poisons. I guarantee it.”
“W-What?!”
What was this supposed to mean?
Immunity to Ten Thousand Poisons was the dream realm the Tang Clan longed for.
“I’ll help. Tell me if you need anything. So begin developing an elixir that grants immunity to ten thousand poisons. Immediately.”
“W-What nonsense have you been saying since earlier...”
Tang Hwi-un, unable even to move his hands with his shoulders gripped, tried a small act of resistance. But it did not reach Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity, whose eyes were fixed on empty air.
“Get Shaolin’s Great Rejuvenation Pill too. We don’t have the weapon yet, but the material must absolutely be thousand-year cold iron. Get celestial silkworm thread too. Ha, I have to revise the entire plan from the start?”
White teeth flashed through Mad Heavenly Martial Extremity’s wild hair.
He was smiling.
More precisely.
He was smiling as he looked at the Infinite Regression Gallery.
[Guys, emergency!!! Come look NOW!!!]
[Posted by: Amor Fati]
To start with the result, I barely managed to kill the Orc Chieftain bastard within the time limit.
Wow, I screamed the instant the clear message appeared.
I told you I need to collect points in my world, right?
(Photo of a Tower message: Infinity difficulty does not award points.)
(Photo of a Tower message: On Infinity difficulty, the extinction timer resets immediately upon clearing.)
When I clear a floor, the extinction timer just resets immediately lol
Tower-climbing genres are hard?
Why?
(Photo of a character holding a fist to their temple.)
Tower, just keep climbing it with infinite retries.
Reset the extinction timer.
lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
Saving regression points? Dunno?
I guess I’ll find out next time I regress?
But that isn’t the important part!
I thought resetting the extinction timer alone was an absurd privilege, but there was a separate main dish.
After I finished the tutorial strategy, a Monolith message said a special privilege had been unlocked. I wondered what that meant, then this was added to the Infinite Regression Gallery menu.
(Screenshot of the Infinite Regression Gallery menu reading: Cross-dimensional trading feature unlocked!)
(Screenshot below it showing a lock emoji and the words: Function locked.)
This is obviously a super broken privilege, right? Right?
I’m the first in the gallery to get cross-dimensional trading, right?
Footnotes:
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