WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

[Translator – Aren]

◈ Chapter 316 If Only I Could (2)

At first, when I heard limping footsteps coming from the far end of the corridor, I thought the time had come. Meaning…I thought it was time for some kind of interrogation.

'He said we’d talk tomorrow.'

[People in power are always fickle. If it pisses you off, just kick the door open and walk out—Ah, stop throwing chains at me!]

If I’d known this would happen, maybe I shouldn't have sent Deathbringer away. But how was I supposed to stop him when he said he was going to check on the Inquisitor, the Archmage, Meister, and the others? I wanted to know how they were doing just as much as he did.

"......?"

So I prepared to receive my guest without Deathbringer. There was no tea or refreshments to serve, and this wasn’t a place I could use however I wanted as if it were my own room, so there wasn’t anything grand about it.

-Scrrrape.

Instead, I dragged two chairs over and placed them in front of the fireplace. There had already been a chair in the room, but it was a rocking chair and hardly something suited for conversation.

'It’s dark……'

[Then light a fire or something—I said stop throwing chains at me!]

「You need to shut up.」

But now that I’d set the chairs out, I noticed that it really was too dark.

After thinking about it for a bit, I used Ratel to hang my Arcane lamp from the ceiling. It wouldn't be as bright as an LED light, but I figured it was better than nothing.

Feeling that I was right about that, I sat down, satisfied. Step. It was only after that that the footsteps, now almost right outside, turned away.

What? Why were they leaving? I’d gone to all this trouble getting everything ready, so hearing them turn back left me kind of dumbfounded.

Granted, no one had told me they were coming to visit at this hour, so technically I had no reason to be annoyed. Still, this was just ridiculous. All the more so because they didn’t enter another room and simply retraced the path they had come from.

[You damn little brat……!]

「Go ahead and try. Though I don't know how much you can even do while the penalty for trying to escape is binding you.」

According to my senses, this was the only occupied room on this floor. And if the other person wasn’t planning to enter one of the other rooms on this floor, then naturally there was a high chance their reason for coming here was to see me.

Given what meaning I held, there was almost no room for that guess to be wrong. Whether they wanted to talk to me, keep an eye on me, or at the very least pass something along, all of it would ultimately have to happen after meeting me.

And they were just leaving? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

The absurdity of the situation made me stand up before I even knew it. It was for pretty much the same reason that I actually bothered opening the door instead of just brushing it off with a ‘What the hell?’ like I normally would have.

I was just extremely curious who had limped all the way here only to turn around and leave without doing anything, so I stuck my head out into the hallway.

"...Fasha?"

「...Ah.」

Before I recognized him, Faust, who had been beating Wrath into submission, let out a sigh first.

"...Fasha."

The…Young Lord?

Unlike Fasha, it took me a moment to recognize him. I couldn’t help it. The feature I remembered most about the Young Lord was his navy-blue hair, but right now the orange light his lamp gave off made that navy color difficult to make out.

"Fasha."

My Arcane Lamp, on the other hand, gave off silver light rather than orange. In other words, even in the dark, it showed colors more or less as they really were.

"You’re Fasha, right?”

That allowed him to easily recognize me, or rather, whose body this was, and he came running straight toward me. He wasn’t fast, since there was something wrong with his leg. Dragging it behind him, he desperately grabbed hold of my forearm.

"Fasha…You’re Fasha.”

Driiip. Thick tears once again fell like rain. I had no idea how many times I’d watched someone else cry today.

I could only give this person practically clinging to me an indescribable look.

"...It’s fine if you’re not. I don’t care if you’re not. I don’t care, so……”

"......"

"Just, just stay like this for a moment……”

What was I supposed to do with this guy now? No matter how much I thought about it, I could only stand there in front of this guy who clearly knew ‘Faust.’ Should I tell him the truth? That this body really did belong to the person he knew and that I was a soul temporarily called here because of that person?

[Brat, running out of energy?]

「.......」

... And I could already see this person spilling out countless emotions in the process. Was I supposed to deal with all of that too?

[I asked if you’re running out of energy or something, brat?]

「...Shut…up.」

Human empathy could be a pain sometimes. Especially the way it made you get emotionally invested in things that weren’t even your problem.

[Are you in pain? Do you feel sorry? Or…do you want to talk to him?]

No matter how hard I tried to distance myself, my eyes still ended up drawn to that place. No matter how tightly I shut my ears, some words still burrowed their way into my head.

[By what right?]

And because of that…simply dealing with this person made me uncomfortable. I’d only gotten past the massive hurdle that was Daniel earlier today, which made the discomfort even worse.

[Gretchen.]

Even the tiny bit of energy it took to get swept up in the feelings of someone who had nothing to do with me was too overwhelming right now.

[Just ignore him. Why bother saying anything?]

I glanced at Wrath’s spirit form as she slowly appeared. It was quite a tempting suggestion. My feelings were different from just annoyance, but in the end, the desire to ignore him was the same.

[This isn’t something you need to concern yourself with when you just got dragged into all of this.]

"Fasha, Atya, Alya……”

[That inquisitor said it earlier today too. In a way, it’s true that you have it better than this brat, but that doesn’t mean you need to bear everything for these kids.]

"Where are you…? Where did you go……?

I desperately wanted to ignore him.

'...Earlier today, you asked my permission and briefly took control of the body.'

[W-Wait.]

But if I asked whether ignoring this person right now would really count as completely staying out of it, the answer was no.

'Then there shouldn't be anything strange about trying the same thing with a different person, right?'

[No........]

For the sake of being a perfect bystander, I chose a third option.

'I’m going to sleep in the meantime. Handle this without causing any problems.'

「I-Is that really okay……?」

'And by ‘Without causing any problems,' I mean don’t give the Temple anything to pick a fight over, and make sure that person has no reason to complain to me when I wake up again. Got it?’

They could sort their own shit out between themselves.

「Y-yes.」

'I won’t put a time limit on it. But if Deathbringer, the Inquisitor, or any of the others from our original party come back, switch back immediately. Same if someone from the Temple comes looking for me. Okay?’

「Yes......!」

For a moment, the thought crossed my mind that if we were going this far, couldn’t this kid just stay in control of the body for the whole 9 years… while I kept sleeping inside?

'Then come out. Or do I have to go inside before you can?'

「J-Just a moment.」

But this wasn't exactly the situation to bring that up. I decided I’d ask about it later and blinked. Wrath wasn’t saying anything. It left me feeling vaguely uneasy.

「...Thank you.」

But before I could question that sense of unease, the world turned inside out. A white world, no longer filled with blood, completely filled my vision.

"...I don’t know.”

It bothered me that the Demon was being strangely quiet about Faust going outside, but seeing how Faust had accepted without much resistance, it probably wasn’t a huge problem.

I thought about this vague situation over and over for some time before giving up. Thinking about it right now was too much of a pain.

[...You really are exhausted, Gretchen.]

Instead, Wrath, seated on a white chair befitting this white world, murmured to me. I didn't bother responding. It wasn't even a matter of whether she was worth responding to. I simply didn’t have enough energy left to react to any external stimuli.

[If there’s something you need, all you have to do is picture it strongly in your mind… But you don’t seem to have the energy for that right now. Very well, my dear Gretchen. This time, I’ll show you some kindness.]

One pointless thought did cross my mind. Daniel would be damn furious if he ever found out I could change whose soul was controlling the body and simply didn’t do it for him. I stood there blankly, staring across the vast, pure-white horizon.

Snap. With the sound of fingers snapping, part of the ground began to ripple.

[It’s the nest I used in Hell. Ah, perhaps you don't like it? Would you prefer a bed, Gretchen?]

The rippling ground soon hardened into a fixed shape. It looked like a lotus made of straw. Or perhaps a den constructed from gathered fragments of bone.

[It’s rather cozy though.]

It was bizarre, though not disgusting, and while it looked uncomfortable, it seemed safe. After thinking for a moment, I simply crawled inside. Whether this was Wrath being kind or whatever, thinking about it was more trouble than it was worth right now.

"...It’s cramped.”

[I couldn’t afford to be discovered.]

I had to curl up like a shrimp for my body to fit perfectly. I searched for the most comfortable position I could manage within the stifling coziness. Maybe because something soft had been laid across the floor, after shifting around a few times, I more or less found one.

[Still, isn’t it comfortable?]

You damn idiot, does this hunched position look comfortable to you?

I opened the eyes I’d been about to close as irritation surged through me. Snicker. Wrath, perched at the entrance of the den, laughed quietly.

[If you actually hated it, you would’ve come back out, right, Gretchen?]

The only reason I wasn’t coming back out was because even crawling outside and lying down felt like too much effort…Whatever. I shoved more of the soft material beneath my neck and the back of my head and blinked.

"Hey."

[Hmm?]

"...Never mind. Forget it."

Did I really look like I was holding myself back that much? I swallowed the question I’d been about to ask. It seemed ridiculous to stubbornly ask when I already knew what answer I’d get back.

[Oh, Gretchen. Calling someone over and then refusing to say anything is a sin, you know?]

"What do you want me to do about it?”

Of course, Wrath sulked over my withdrawal, but who cared? I closed my eyes to show I had no intention of talking. [How spiteful.] Wrath, who was sitting outside, clicked her tongue.

[Then, Gretchen, may you have pleasant dreams.]

And yet she still wished me a good night. It was kind of irritating. Who the hell did she think had gotten me into this mess in the first place?

* * *

Is this really okay? Faust asked himself as he switched places with the kind soul. Is it really okay for me to do this?

[...]

But it was too late to back out now. With the Demon’s indecipherable gaze as the last thing he saw, the world turned inside out. I don’t know. He thought Gretchen might have whispered something like that as he went inside.

"I want to see you……"

But regrettably, Faust could no longer pay attention to his words. The instant he became fully conscious, dozens, no, hundreds of pieces of information flooded in from the body he now wore, throwing him into confusion.

"Please......."

The sounds of night spreading through the silence, the scent of the wind seeping in, the warmth of the person who had come running to him, the dark-blue world filling his vision.

Haah. Faust faltered as he breathed in before the flood of sensation, something almost indistinguishable from violence. He couldn't even tell whether he was breathing properly. A spirit had no need to breathe.

Ah, was this thing passing down his throat air? Did breathing always feel this cool and clear?

He searched through distant memories as he continued those unfamiliar actions. For a moment, he even forgot that the person before him was someone he had wanted so desperately to see.

First, the boy had to come to terms with just how sensitive a real body was and how overwhelming a privilege it was to stand in the world with a physical form.

"A-Are you okay……?”

Ah, being alive and breathing was such an enormous thing.

"Are you okay……?”

Faust instinctively raised his hands and covered his ears. He closed his eyes as well.

To calm down, he needed to control the flood of sensations. To control it, he needed to concentrate. But to concentrate, he first needed to escape from those very sensations.

『Brat, what are you doing here?』

『...I can’t sleep…』

To be exact, he wasn’t confident he could keep his mind clear amid this enormous flood. Even as he swallowed another breath, the boy forcibly pushed himself toward stillness.

『Because of the exam tomorrow?』

『Yes.』

And so, one, two, three.

『Just do what you always do. What are you so worried about? You’ve always done well.』

『But…what if I make a mistake? And I lose points… What if I even fail……?』

Four, five, six.

『Even if you screw up spectacularly, I don’t think your score would ever drop low enough for you to fail…But hearing that probably won’t reassure you, huh? ‘What if I really can't pass? Everyone says I’m good enough, but am I really? Honestly, I don’t think I am. I feel like I’m nowhere near good enough…’ That’s all you can think about, right?』

『...H-How did you know?』

Seven, eight, nine.

『But listen. It’s okay. It’s okay, Faust. You’re allowed to make mistakes. There’s no way you’ll fail, but even if you do, that’s okay too. Whether you pass the test or not, you’ll always be our little brother we’re proud of.』

Ten.

『So don’t burden yourself with the idea that you absolutely have to do well. That kind of anxiety will only make things harder for you. If anything, that pressure might make you more likely to make mistakes.』

『Brother Gunya.......』

『Take it easy. Tell yourself it’s okay to fail, that it doesn’t matter if you don’t pass. No matter what mistakes you make or who you lose to, your parents, your siblings, and I will always be cheering you on. You know that, don’t you? Even if you don’t do well, no one’s going to blame you.』

Faust began breathing again. His ragged breaths gradually settled into their usual soft rhythm.

『That’s right. You’re really fine. You’re going to be fine.』

At the same time, the sounds around him, which had been crushed and distorted until nothing remained but the fact that he’d ‘heard’ them, began reaching his ears clearly.

『You’re going to be fine, Faust……』

"Breathe. You have to breathe."

At last, he heard that desperately pleading voice.

"Please, just breathe……”

When had he dropped to his knees? At last able to properly perceive the world around him, the boy raised his head. The first thing that entered his vision was navy-blue hair, dark as the night.

"I-I need to call someone……”

"Brother.”

Even in a world where so much had been broken and lost, it was a color that still remained, giving meaning to the boy’s world.

".....?"

"Brother Gunya."

The boy raised a hand to the navy blue that was embracing him. He could feel his allotted lifespan leaking away through the cracks in his shattered soul, but he didn’t particularly care. It was a terrible thing to say to Gretchen, but the boy still didn’t believe his own life was worth preserving.

"I’m sorry."

"...You."

"I’m really sorry.”

Yes, his life still had no value. A life that sacrificed thousands just so he could survive had no reason to be lived.

"I couldn’t protect anyone......"

But if there was any reason to keep living such a worthless life, it was probably all of you.

"I couldn’t…protect anyone……”

Because you are like brightly shining stars in the night sky. Because you are people who offer salvation even to a fool like me. And yet all I can do is choke on my sobs.

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