WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 39: Cleanliness is Life

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If there was one thing the Abyss had over the surface, it was probably the quality of the air.

It was hard to understand. Wind came from the sky, and everyone knew that the air near the ground, carrying every kind of filth, was dirtier. Yet why was the air in the Abyss, the place farthest from the sky, so clear?

That was because of the Abyss's nature.

This was a place cursed by Mother Earth, so soil and dust, the fabric of her flesh, avoided it as though obeying a law of nature. That was why the wasteland had not been eroded despite an Abyss this large being here. Since no dust fell here, it was surprisingly clean.

On top of that, the Abyss had no bottom. To borrow an expression mathematicians liked, no matter how far down I was, there was always somewhere lower. Therefore, anything heavier than air sank further down.

Air that should have stagnated all escaped below. Whenever you rarely felt a breeze in Tantalus, it was a fragment of wind that had lost its way and fallen into the Abyss. Carrying dust, smells, and everything else that dissolved into it, the stranded wind flowed downward through the holes scattered throughout the Abyss. That was why the air inside the Abyss was so clear and clean.

When judging quality of life, whether there was somewhere beneath me was a far more important indicator than where I was. Every kind of filth fell lower and collected there.

From this, we could indirectly learn that happiness was relative.

The wind was still scarce and the air heavy, but at least healthy breathing was guaranteed. How could I not be grateful?

...Perhaps despite Mother Earth's curse, the Abyss was quite a pleasant place apart from its lack of light.

"Woof! Woof woof!"

Another refreshing morning with my dog alarm. I stretched both arms wide and filled my lungs with fresh air through my nose.

"Aaachoo!"

"Woof!"

An explosive sneeze burst out. An unexpected visitor had seized my lungs first thing in the morning. Azzy must have been startled, because she drew both arms to her chest and stared at me.

Tch. A violent sneeze in the morning always ruined my condition for the day. It startled my muscles.

More importantly, why had I suddenly sneezed?

"Has that much household dust built up after only a few days...?"

As I wiped my nose, I faintly saw something floating through the air. Frowning, I glared at it as it drifted around the room. It was hard to make out in the dim light, but that long, thin, golden thing, softly bending and swaying...

"Hair?"

"Woof!"

Azzy barked at me. I happened to notice the fur on her head, hands, and feet. Brown mixed with gold, or rather, originally gold but looking grimy from all the dirt on it.

It was the exact same color as the fur floating in the air.

Dirty and caked with dust.

Hmm.

"Azzy."

"Woof?"

"Want to go eat pork cutlets?"

"Woof! I do, I do!"

She had no idea what pork cutlets were, but she agreed to go eat them anyway. I gave Azzy a pleasant smile.

Water flowed downward. It traveled between heaven and earth, serving as a messenger delivering love letters between the Celestial God and Mother Earth. Since it did not wholly belong to Mother Earth, that liquid instinctively burrowed toward lower places, even if that place was the Abyss.

But the Abyss was an endless chasm. Even a cute paratrooper riding a downward-curving parachute and leaping from the clouds to the ground in one go would head toward ground they could never reach in the Abyss, then perish. Water dissolved into the air became another form of air and drifted around.

The military state's special water tank collected water in that gaseous state. When water condensed in a massive collector enchanted with Aquus magic, it flowed through filtered pipes into the tank, then waited quietly until someone below opened a faucet.

The water tank, whose usage had dropped sharply due to the jailbreak, was brimming with water. Once people vanished, abundance arrived.

After checking the amount of water, I nodded with satisfaction.

"Good. This should be enough to wash that mutt."

I shut off the water tank for the moment and connected a hose to the pipe instead. When I opened it as a test, water came gurgling out as though something were clogged. Perhaps because there was not much difference in elevation, the water pressure was weak. It would be better to fill something up beforehand.

I took the hose and a tub, settled near a drain, then called Azzy.

"All right, Azzy..."

When I turned my head, Azzy had already run far away. She hid behind a square box and barked as if the hose in my hand were a gun.

"Woof."

"Azzy. Come here. You need a wash."

"Woof."

"What do you mean, no? Look at your hands and feet."

Azzy lifted her hands and feet as I said. All kinds of dust and grime were hidden among the thick clumps of fur, like fluffy fur gloves.

She looked filthy, but that was still relatively clean. If this had been the surface rather than the Abyss, that self-propelled four-legged dust mop would have swept up every kind of filth while wandering through Tantalus.

"There, see? Dirty, right?"

"No, clean!"

"What are you talking about? You call that clean?"

"Woof! I lick my fur sometimes! I'm clean!"

Then Azzy brought her tongue toward her hand. She was about to put her tongue on that breeding ground for disease.

Ha. Was she crazy?

"Stop!"

"Woof!"

Azzy froze just as she was about to touch her hand with her tongue, her eyes rolling around nervously. Sighing, I put down the hose and walked toward her.

"Are you a cat? You don't usually lick yourself, but now that it's bothering you, you're suddenly going to start? Don't. It's filthy."

"Woof! I'm not filthy!"

"You are. You're covered in dust. You smell, and you're shedding everywhere too."

"Woof! You shed a lot too!"

"Don't compare your shedding to my hair loss! Same two characters, different genres!"

Snorting, I walked over, slid my hands behind Azzy's armpits, and dragged her along. She twisted her body as though she disliked it, but she did not wrench herself free and run away.

As she got closer to the hose, though, her feet stiffened and her claws dug into the ground. Her body would not budge, as if nailed down. No, as if concreted into place.

"Ha, seriously. I can't just drag her over..."

My opponent was the Beast King. There was nothing I could do with my strength.

This was when I needed the fable of the North Wind and the Sun. If I could not move her body, I had to change her mind. I leaned my face over Azzy's head and spoke.

"Azzy. Come here. Let's get you washed first."

"Woof."

"I'll make you something delicious once you're clean."

"Woof..."

At the mention of something delicious, Azzy seemed to consider it for a moment. Why did she only move when she was being bribed? I had not gone this far when I sweet-talked military state officials. Was a dog more troublesome than a high-ranking minister?

What could I do? The weak had to endure. This dog was stronger than most ministers.

I leaned close to Azzy's ear and whispered sweetly.

"You remember the hamburg steak from before, right? The food where you grill meat, heat the pan with its fat, then once the pork fat is hot enough, cook a patty made by grinding it together with beans."

"Woof..."

"But that hamburg steak was actually incomplete. It didn't have enough stickiness, so it all fell apart. It was little more than meat paste cooked in a pan. This time will be different. We had eggs and butter in the supplies. They stingily didn't even give us a whole tray, but still. This time, I can make perfect hamburg steak, pressed together firmly into one piece and cooked in plenty of fat."

"Woof..."

I stimulated her synesthesia. The tension drained from Azzy's entire body. When I pulled again, her claws slipped right out. Smiling triumphantly, I dragged Azzy near the drain.

"That's it. Good girl, good girl..."

All right. First, take off her clothes. Then toss her into the tub and pour water over her. Scrub her thoroughly, then wash her clothes while Azzy dried off. It would be nice if she had something to change into, but all the clothes left here were clothing packets. Azzy had no bio-terminal, so she could not wear them. Hmm. I would just have to tell her to wait while her clothes dried.

The plan was complete. I released Azzy for a moment and opened the hose to fill some water. A thin stream fell into a small box I had prepared as a makeshift tub. The sound of droplets striking the box echoed.

"Woof."

Whoosh.

Despite all the effort I had spent dragging her here, that mutt fled far away again. Perhaps she felt a little guilty, judging by her brief bark.

"Woof."

I buried my face in my hands and let out a deep sigh. It wasn't as though she was some king. I was going to wait on her and wash her, and she was refusing even that?

No, she was a king. But not my king. At most, she was the King of Dogs.

I was angry. Up until now, I had played along because it felt like raising a cute dog, but if she was going to be this selfish, I had no reason to put up with it anymore.

"Woof...?"

Azzy barked cautiously at me. She seemed to have noticed my anger, glancing at me nervously.

That did not make me feel better. No, the fact that she understood how I felt and still was not coming here immediately made me even more furious.

Fuming, I sat down on the spot.

"Hey. Puppy."

Azzy flinched when I called her name. Sitting cross-legged with my body closed off, I spoke with feeling.

"Are you really going to act like this? Even after seeing me sneeze earlier?"

Bang, bang. I struck the floor hard with the scoop I had prepared. Azzy startled, looking guilty.

A trembling voice, a twisted expression, ragged breathing.

Clear signs of anger.

Dogs were humanity's oldest friends, and they could read human emotions to some extent. No, perhaps they noticed them far better than people did. Humans learned to hide their feelings from others under the name of manners, but people did not bother with manners around dogs. That was why they loved dogs.

In any case, I was angry, and I had no intention of hiding it. Just as I intended, Azzy clearly understood how I felt.

"I cook for you, play fetch with you, and take walks with you! I call you whenever I eat, and I pet that filthy fur of yours every day! I do all this for you! Why won't you even take a wash?"

"Whine..."

Terrified, Azzy tucked her tail. That was not enough, though. I intended to ease the scolding only once she came to me on her own.

And if she did not?

That was the end. My long bond with that mutt would end here. I planned to abandon her in my heart.

"If you only lived in the yard, I wouldn't care. But you come inside the building! Sometimes you even climb onto my bed! Then my little nest gets filthy! Do you think I wash every day for no reason? Unlike you, I need cleanliness!"

"Whine, whine."

"If you can't even endure this much, you're not the puppy I know. From now on, whenever I see you, I'll kick first. Got it?"

"Whine..."

It seemed our bond had not been for nothing. Honestly, if things had gone on like this, I might have developed a deep disillusionment with beasts. Still, Azzy must not have wanted to sever ties with me, because she slowly crept toward me while watching my reaction.

Whew. Fine. At least she came. I sat Azzy on my lap and wrapped my arms around her. Then I turned on the hose with my right hand and let water flow into the box.

The falling droplets struck the surface one after another, creating a bright, percussive sound. It was a refreshing sound, washing away filth, but it seemed to sound like a requiem for evil spirits to Azzy. As though she had goosebumps, Azzy squeezed her eyes shut, clenched her mouth tight, and turned her head away from the sound.

Even then, she did not break free from my arms and run away. Admirably, she endured it.

Good attitude. I shut off the hose and patted Azzy's head.

"That's it. Well done."

"Woof..."

It was a weak whimper. I did not want to do this either, but it could not be helped. We would be living together for several more months. We could not exchange dust and germs every time we touched, letting disease fester between us.

Seriously, if this had not been the Abyss, I would already have gotten sick.

"All right. Let's take off your clothes first. Arms up."

Azzy still had her eyes tightly closed as she raised her arms halfway. I began to take off her clothes, then noticed something catching over and over, so I looked at her shirt again.

Someone had tied the shirt tightly beneath her chest. It had been tied with so much force that it would not come undone easily. It seemed to be meant to stop the clothes from slipping off or to prevent someone from taking them off.

"Honestly, they went to all kinds of trouble."

Clothing packets provided garments tailored exactly to the wearer's body size. That applied even to the basic supply shirt worn underneath. The sleeves and neck fit so tightly that you could not put it on or take it off normally without using the packet. There was no excess fabric like this.

But Azzy could not use clothing packets because she had no bio-terminal. So someone must have dressed her in a shirt several sizes too large. It would have slipped down or come off easily, so they had needed to tie up the loose parts to prevent that...

"Who would try to take a dog's clothes off..."

...That said, now that I was conscious of it, it felt a little strange. Whatever Azzy's true nature was, what I saw was still a female body, so it bothered me in an odd way. Were humans ultimately creatures bound by appearances?

Well, whatever. It was a pointless thought. I was a normal human. I should just finish taking off her clothes.

The tightly tied hem was getting in my way. But who was I? I was a back-alley magician. A master of dexterity who could tie up both hands and free myself, or tie knots with one finger. Something like this was nothing.

If I slipped my fingers into that gap and twisted them gently, it would loosen. Good. I would untie it quickly and toss her into the tub...

That was when the regressor appeared through the rooftop door. Her hair and part of her clothes were damp with sweat, as if she had been training until just now.

"There's no water coming out here. Did you shut off the water tank or something? Without telling anyone..."

The regressor, who had been peeling the hair stuck to her forehead away, noticed me and froze. Her eyes narrowed in an instant, and a sharp gaze swept over Azzy and me.

'He's got Azzy sitting on his lap, restraining her from behind while trying to take off her clothes. Azzy has her eyes tightly shut, trembling.'

The regressor's thoughts were remarkably brief. In the most literal sense. She thought only that far before drawing Skywarbler.

'Good. Kill him.'

Wait. Wasn't there a leap in logic there? More importantly, how could "good" and "kill him" go together? Killing was not good at all.

Hostility swelled. I hurriedly hid behind Azzy and shouted.

"Wait! This isn't what you think it is, Trainee!"

"Heavenly Sword Technique. Thunderbird..."

"Stoppp!"

Footnotes:

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