WETRIED TRANSLATIONS
Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?
[Translator – Aren]
◈ Chapter 313 Make it Stronger (7)
"Finally, we meet.”
The moment I stepped onto the wall, I quietly thought as I faced the man blocking my path. If it felt like the god of timing was subtly screwing me over, was that paranoia or not?
"Erm, old man, Mister. Let’s just talk for a moment……”
"Do not interfere.”
Deathbringer hurriedly stepped forward and tried to stop Daniel. But Daniel pushed him aside at once and stared straight at me.
Even though I had my hood pulled so low that neither my hair color nor my face could be seen. He still somehow sought out the eyes hidden beneath the hood and glared into them.
"Or are you going to run away again?”
But his blazing gaze was filled with boiling anger and grief and something so old and deep that it had long since become difficult to make out its shape. 「Ah.......」 Faust, who had been clinging to my arm, lowered his head with a choked sound.
"...No."
And because Faust reacted like that, the answer came naturally. Tap, tap, tap. I could hear someone limping toward us from the other side, but I still couldn’t tell who it was.
"You and I already had something we needed to discuss.”
"Y-you……!”
But an unfamiliar voice, hoarse enough that it was difficult to identify, called out to someone along with those limping footsteps.
Could it be me? The thought crossed my mind for a moment, but I didn’t bother turning my head. Considering who stood before me and the emotions he carried, I couldn’t casually look away.
"Young Lord……?”
Deathbringer beside me, however, had no such problem. With his neck perfectly free to turn, he checked the newcomer to his heart’s content.
"Young Lord, it’s good that you came—”
"Let’s move somewhere else.”
But as far as I was concerned, that wasn’t what had priority right now. I felt a little bad for Deathbringer, who clearly wanted out of this situation and for the Young Lord, who was probably curious about my identity, but the circumstances didn’t allow for that.
"You wouldn’t want to be interrupted either."
"...Very well."
Even all of their emotions put together couldn’t compare to those of the man standing in front of me right now. In the end, this was the best choice.
「I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry……」
Well… considering Faust’s feelings, maybe it wasn’t the absolute best choice. He seemed to have originally been quite close to the Young Lord, so perhaps it would have been better to face that person first.
Unfortunately, I had no right to change the order. And I had no right to avoid this conversation entirely for Faust’s sake either.
The harm done to the other party was simply too great for me to blindly shield Faust just because he was a child. Especially when, strictly speaking, I was nothing more than a third party who had no place interfering recklessly.
"Wait, what do you mean……?”
"I have something I absolutely must tell this man. When I weigh the offense I have caused this city against the aid I have given it, I believe I have at least earned the right to ask for a little time. Do you agree?”
“Of course that’s possible, but……”
“A clear answer. I thank you.”
After verbally thanking the Young Lord, I slightly lifted my foot to move elsewhere. In the process, I noticed the Young Lord’s distressed expression and the fierce look on the guard standing behind him, but neither particularly bothered me.
Regardless of the fact that I had eliminated the Demon that attacked this city, considering the danger I posed and the fact that I had initially entered by deceiving them, their reaction was entirely reasonable.
"Do you know somewhere we can talk?”
Well, reasonable or not, the guard’s injuries were severe enough that I didn’t find him all that threatening. Completely ignoring the Knight, I looked for somewhere we could have a conversation.
"...I don’t."
"I see."
Unfortunately, neither Daniel nor I knew of a suitable place.
"....How about using that watchtower over there? We’re short on guards, so it’s practically empty. I think using it for a little while should be fine.”
Then the guard with the fierce gaze abruptly threw out a suggestion. The Young Lord, who had been anxiously watching me, flinched in surprise.
"...If you wish, I can pull the soldiers out for about 20 minutes. On the condition that, even while you talk, you continue keeping watch over the Demonic zone.”
Contrary to how nervous he seemed, he gave a rather respectable answer as the one in command.
Rather than being a superior who blindly followed a subordinate’s suggestion, he showed himself to be the kind of superior who considered it himself before giving approval.
"That’s only natural. Thank you for granting your permission.”
And so Inquisitor Daniel bowed without complaint, while I also gave a slight nod. It wasn’t proper etiquette, but at least conveyed the minimum of respect, and only then did the guard’s gaze soften.
"Let’s go."
Anyway, we had a place now. I stepped forward to speak with Daniel.
"Mi-Mister.”
Deathbringer, who had been behind me, caught hold of my clothes. “Ah.” He immediately let go, though. It seemed as if he himself had grabbed me on reflex. I glanced back at him.
"I’ll be back.”
I understood that Deathbringer knew the relationship between that man and me, so of course he couldn’t help worrying, but…
This wasn’t something I could put off.
I lightly placed a hand on Deathbringer’s shoulder before removing it, then followed after Daniel, who had already gone ahead.
Apparently the order had already been given during that brief interval, because I saw two soldiers hurriedly coming down from the watchtower we were approaching.
The watchtower was completely empty now.
Step, step.
Daniel and I climbed the watchtower stairs without speaking to one another. Faust, still sitting on my hand, no longer even let out those choking sobs. The boy had curled himself into a ball with his hands clamped over his mouth, as though even the act of breathing itself were something he should feel guilty for.
Tap.
At last, we reached the top of the watchtower. The sun stood overhead like a judge, shining down upon us and exposing us to the world.
"Then speak."
Whooooosh. A rough gust of wind finally tore my hood back.
"Tell me about that fire you used!!”
At the same time, it disheveled the agitated man’s hair as well. Between the strands of hair whipping across his face, cheeks still clearly marked by tear tracks and eyes sunk into a dark, heavy shade were laid completely bare.
"...Why did you do it?”
"......"
"Why did you pretend you didn’t know them? Why were you kind to them? Why did you go out of your way to win Schutz over? Was being nice to them some kind of game to you? Did you enjoy deceiving them and making fools of them?”
"That’s not it."
“Then why?! Why in the world did you do it?!!”
"......"
"Why? Why did you do that……?!”
"...I…"
"Schutz and my aunt still want to see you!!”
Fragments of overflowing emotion fell to the floor in heavy drops. And with them, my lips closed completely. His emotions weren’t mine to bear, yet even so, the words wouldn’t come easily.
“They still believe in you……”
Was it because I sympathized with him?
"Why? Why did you do it? Why did you do that……?”
No, no. Normally, maybe. But right now, I couldn’t sympathize with him. Whether I understood him or not was beside the point. I didn’t have room for it. My own emotions were already heavy enough.
"If you were going to deceive us, then you should’ve kept deceiving us to the end. If you were going to run away, then you should’ve never come back. You should’ve at least let us choose one or the other. Whether to trust you without reservation or hate you forever. So why? Why did you……?”
But……But……
"Just tell me again that it wasn't you. Tell me it wasn’t you, that neither you nor the Demon inside you killed my parents.”
His emotions reminded me of my own. Of something too enormous to forget, yet impossible to hate without reservation.
Emotions you can’t let out are the absolute worst.
"Tell me already that Schutz and I weren’t fooled by you!”
They really are the absolute worst.
"I’m not your enemy.”
"......!"
But I had no way to spare Daniel from that worst kind of emotion. No, I did. I simply had no intention of choosing it.
Even knowing how cruel the words I was about to say would be to Daniel, I didn’t stop my tongue.
"What does that……?”
"I’m not the true owner of this body, so I can’t be your enemy.”
"What in the world does that……?”
"I’m a soul that was summoned recently, inquisitor. The true owner of this body lacked the confidence to stop the Demon that had taken up residence in his body on his own, so I’m the soul he forcibly dragged here.”
You’re not a child, and you have a family who’ll support you, so you’ll be fine. Even if you aren’t, deal with it yourself.
I forced the conclusion I’d arbitrarily imposed on him. Once Daniel learned the truth, he’d probably think I was a complete bastard, but I didn’t care. I was already struggling too much to take care of a grown adult on top of everything else.
"Your enemy? It could have been this body. No, if anything, I think that’s probably the most likely possibility. But it wasn’t me. The person controlling this body now had absolutely nothing to do with your grudge. I was summoned only after everything had already happened.”
Because it was too painful. Because I didn’t want to carry any more burdens.
I drew a line between myself and that incident. Faust might suffer even more because of it, but there was no other way. I was already too exhausted to shield him from this as well.
'Do you resent me for not taking your side?'
「.......」
At my question, the boy trembled all over and shook his head from side to side. For a moment, I felt a little sorry for him, but then that feeling faded again.
Why is this so hard?
Why did you do that?
The emotions I had barely managed to suppress surged back up. At a moment when I couldn’t even try to avoid them by changing the subject.
"What?”
While I was sinking like that, Daniel let out a dumbfounded sound.
"What kind of bullshit is that……?!”
It didn’t last long. Of course it didn’t. From the perspective of someone whose parents had been murdered, if the (suspected) killer started spouting something like that, anyone would be pissed.
"You have no excuse, so you’re seriously standing there saying that nonsense to me? And you still call yourself human?!”
He strode over and seized me by the collar. Maybe I should’ve suggested we leave our weapons behind before coming up here. I idly entertained the thought as I slowly lowered my eyelids.
"And you still call yourself human?!!!”
Ah, I thought I’d been doing okay until a little while ago, but suddenly exhaustion washed over me. I felt drained.
"So you want to kill me?”
"You seriously have to ask……?!”
"I won’t stop you. I have no right to stop you from taking your revenge.”
[W-wait. Hey, Gretchen—]
"However, inquisitor.”
Suddenly, I thought of the bomb that had failed to go off. If it had exploded, if White Wind hadn’t tricked me, I would probably have woken up back home by now.
"...The original owner of this body probably didn’t kill your parents because he wanted to.”
It wasn't that I hated being given another chance. I could finally repair my relationships with the Inquisitor, Deathbringer, and the others, so I didn’t think this moment was entirely bad either.
"What right do you have to speak of them?!”
“He was simply in a position where falling asleep meant losing control of his body, where losing consciousness from the pain meant the Demon woke up in his place, where even the slightest lapse could leave everything around him burning, and where trying to die only meant giving the Demon another opportunity.”
"What right do you have—!”
"That’s why I believe he simply couldn’t stop it, even though he wanted to.”
But… It was just that. If that bomb had gone off. If I had woken up in my own reality because of it.
If…if I had fallen into your arms and cried.
"I believe it was a tragedy that happened because the thing he was forced to bear was simply too much for a child to handle alone.”
"You......!"
I couldn’t get the thought of how wonderful that would have been out of some corner of my mind.
"Inquisitor, you probably can’t see him. But I can.”
With a heavy thud, Daniel shoved me backward and knocked me down. Rather than resist, I simply yielded and let myself fall flat on my back. Shing. Daniel took out his sword.
"I can see a boy sobbing until he chokes because he feels so guilty toward you that he thinks he doesn’t even have the right to say he’s sorry.”
"Shut up!"
"I can see a boy who, if you asked it of him, might even cut open his own belly.”
"I said shut up!!"
Clang! The viciously raised blade struck down beside my head. A few strands of hair were severed, and a thin line of blood opened across my ear. If it had landed just a little farther to the side, it might have cut through my neck.
"...So you’re telling me to forgive him?”
But the sword never cut my throat. Nor did he lift it again and bring it down a second time.
"You’re telling me to forgive that kid because it was just a tragedy caused by a child who had the rotten luck to harbor a Demon and couldn’t control it?!”
Instead of the halted blade, droplets spilled down and traced paths across my cheek.
“I lost my parents. Half my life disappeared that day……! And you’re still telling me to forgive that kid?!”
It was such a cold, grief-stricken blow.
"Don’t forgive him.”
But this was already an emotion and a question I had gone through once before. A story I had already tied off and reached my answer to.
"We don’t have to forgive him.”
I murmured quietly. Beyond the sobbing young man, I simply stared at the clear sky and spoke.
"However, inquisitor. Even if you don’t forgive him, please at least acknowledge that the boy is atoning. No more and no less. Just grant him that much grace.”
Ah, seriously.
"Unlike that child, who was robbed even of the chance to grow into an adult, at least we were given the chance to become adults, weren’t we?”
I want to go home and sprawl out on the couch and sleep forever.
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