WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

[Translator – Aren]

◈ Chapter 314 Make it Stronger (8)

Daniel cried for a long while before staggering aside to let me pass. Whether he had truly given up on revenge or merely put it off, I still couldn’t say.

"Can I really believe what you said? About being a summoned soul?”

“Yes. Though I don't really have any concrete proof.”

"...No, I believe you. I think your actions up to this point speak for themselves.”

“I see......."

I caught a  glimpse of the skin around his eyes, rubbed raw from crying so much. Yet, as if by agreement, neither of us acknowledged it. It was less about sparing each other’s pride and more that our own situations were too much to bear for either of us to even address it.

"We haven’t been keeping watch at all.”

"...Indeed."

So we shifted a little and leaned against the wall of the watchtower.

Beside each of us was an opening overlooking the Demon zone. From where we sat, all we had to do was turn our heads to check it.

"....How did this happen?”

"If you’re asking why I ended up in this body, no particular reason. The boy wished for someone capable of overcoming Demons, and I simply happened to meet that condition.”

"Then why did you hide this when we first met?”

“You might not believe this, but I didn’t know. To be exact, I had no memories of it. Just as I told you then.”

We used that setup to stand guard like we promised the Young Lord. Since we each turned our heads in opposite directions, we couldn’t see each other.

"It was the Demon’s doing. I spent each day being tossed around by nothing but the memories the Demon left behind, not knowing that I was a summoned soul, or even that I wasn’t the only one inhabiting this body.”

"...The memories it left behind?”

"Memories of what had happened to the owner of this body. Memories that weren’t mine.”

"...I see. Then have you recovered your actual memories now?”

"Yes."

With the watchtower wall filling half our vision and the desert the other half, we continued our conversation at an unhurried pace. Since I was only repeating what I’d told Meister, it wasn’t particularly difficult for me to piece together each sentence.

[Even though you never actually lost them. You’re one hell of a deceiver yourself, you know?]

That included Wrath casually butting in. I smoothly ignored her.

I was in far too low a mood to blush from embarrassment right now.

"Is there a way to undo the summoning?”

"If I endure 9 years without falling to corruption, the Demon will return to hell, and I will return to where I belong.”

"And the original owner of that body will get his body back?”

"Yes."

In the middle of that silence I heard fabric brush against skin along with the sound of someone slightly shifting their posture. I hadn’t moved at all, and since the sound came from behind me, Daniel was probably the one who had moved.

"...You said earlier that you could see the boy. Then is the original owner of that body staying by your side?"

"For now. But not always."

"I didn’t really sense anything…Fascinating.”

"He’s on my right hand. Can you really not sense him?”

"...Yes. So, that’s where he was.”

I glanced at my right hand and then to my right. Faust and Wrath were in those respective places.

'Explain.'

[...We’re spirits, so of course he can’t sense us. The only reason you can see us is because our souls are connected to that body.]

Ah, so that was how it worked. I’d assumed they existed by using Arcane Power or Demonic Energy or something, but that explained why no one else ever seemed to notice them.

"...Is he still crying?”

While I was brushing off Wrath, Daniel cautiously asked me. Beneath his drained voice lay emotions that still refused to fade, piled up mountain-high.

I understood.

"Yes."

「Hic.」

Faust, who looked utterly exhausted, flinched and curled in on himself.

He was uncomfortable having his sins brought up, yet he had done something wrong, so he felt guilty, miserable, sorry…He knew he needed to apologize, but for some strange reason he also felt aggrieved, so all he could do was shrink into himself. It was the very picture of someone in that situation.

"Is he really crying because he’s sorry?”

「Hngh.」

An ordinary person probably would have been dehydrated by now, but I guess spirits were different.

Faust started crying again. Personally, I was glad Daniel couldn’t see it.

"...Not sure. But the way I see it, if those tears were for himself rather than out of remorse, he couldn't have continued crying and crying like this.”

It couldn’t be helped. Seeing a child cry naturally made you feel sorry for them, no matter if the child was in the right or wrong…

And for someone who couldn’t forgive that child, that very pity only made it hurt all the more.

Who are you crying for? What have you done to deserve to cry? I’m the one who really wants to cry, so why are you…? Things like that.

“Do you pity him?”

"...Is that why you forgave him? From what I’ve heard, it doesn’t sound like you ended up like this because you wanted to either.”

Daniel quite obviously changed the subject. I could’ve pressed him on it, but I chose not to.

“You're right, I didn’t choose this.”

"Then……?”

"I don’t know. Would you forgive him?”

Instead, just as he had done, I avoided giving an answer. I didn’t want to make Faust feel pressured by repeating what I’d already said, and more importantly, I didn’t want my answer influencing Daniel’s own decision.

"...That’s…"

Forgiveness was a right reserved only to the victim. No one had the right to interfere with it, influenced, nor should anyone be forced into it, swept along by another person’s choice.

"That’s……”

That was why I wanted Daniel to reach his conclusion based only on his own feelings, and that was what he did.

"I still can’t forgive him.”

He forced the words out one by one, as if declaring them to himself, his voice filled with pain and heat.

"I know the child isn’t to blame, but even so, I can’t forgive him.”

"I see."

"....Yes. So please tell that child this. Tell him not to just hide behind you and cry. Someday, he’ll have to come out and stand before me properly. He has to explain exactly what happened back then, and offer me a proper apology as well.”

Still, this was better than when he had first confronted me. Back then, he had been consumed by rage without even knowing where to direct it, but now, at least, he knew where his resentment should be aimed.

"Yes, I’ll make sure to tell him. Though I guess he‘s already heard you.”

"I see. Then that’s enough."

So this matter was finally coming to an end as well. I looked toward the boy only I could see.

'You heard him.'

The boy hid his tear-filled eyes behind his eyelids. Tears continued to stream down his cheeks as he lowered his head slightly.

'I’ve gotten you a chance to atone. The rest is up to you.'

「...Yes.」

Once everything was over, would this kid be able to give Daniel a proper apology? And how would Daniel receive that apology?

I thought about it for a moment before concluding that there was no way for me to know. By the time the boy was able to apologize, I would already be back home anyway.

So I looked away from the silently sobbing boy and lowered my eyelids. I suddenly felt exhausted despite not having done anything.

* * *

Daniel glanced at the man a couple more times even after their conversation ended. The other man showed not the slightest movement, making it impossible to tell whether he had fallen asleep or was simply lying there awake, but still.

It was much like the things he had said. It was difficult to tell whether he had spoken nothing but the truth or whether even this was another deception. He was the most incomprehensible being in the world.

"...Don’t force yourself to forgive, either.”

And yet, the reason Daniel had accepted the man’s words was partly out of sheer weariness.

There was the hatred directed at someone he couldn’t even be certain was his enemy, and the confusion brought on by the fact that the man, of all things, was so painfully heroic. In the end, both were emotions fueled by his own strength, and he no longer wanted to spend any more of that strength on them.

"...Forgive what?”

"Everything around you.”

After all, hadn’t this gone on long enough? For more than 6 years, he had scraped together even the energy meant for everyday life and fed it to the fire. Surely he was allowed to start feeling tired by now.

"It’s sad that he was never given the chance to become an adult, but that doesn’t mean we must unconditionally yield to him.”

More than anything, Daniel didn’t want to doubt him.

Those eyes that had only barely managed to regain their original composure, but in truth were almost completely worn down and exhausted. That goodwill that still tried somehow to hold back such deep-seated rage for someone else's sake.

If he had to doubt even things like that, then there wouldn’t be a single thing in this world he could trust.

"There’s no reason to feel sorry for receiving a right that was yours to begin with. You should mourn that someone else was denied that same right, and hate whatever caused it.”

That was why. That alone was why Daniel decided to believe such an absurd story.

Because he didn’t want to believe that even those things belonged to a Demon. Because he didn’t want to doubt someone with whom he had ended up feeling a sense of kinship.

Because the faith he had served all his life and the conscience he had upheld until now wouldn’t allow him to close his eyes and ears and simply resent the man.

"So, nameless ascetic, don’t blindly suppress your own feelings either.”

And so Daniel simply resigned himself to it. He chose to pity him.

"Trying to endure every hardship simply because your circumstances are better than someone else’s is also a form of arrogance.”

He pitied that being who had entered a complete stranger’s body and was suffering every hardship imaginable. That man who, had things gone slightly differently, might have had to bear all of Daniel's resentment as well.

Like ashes left after everything had burned away, the lingering resentment and regrets settled along with the lukewarm embers of warmth. All that remained now was a faint sympathy and sense of kinship toward another person.

"You have every right to be angry with me. You can even tell me, ‘Why the hell are you snapping at me when I wasn’t even the one who did all that?’”

"...That seems a bit much.”

"No, it’s the bare minimum. None of the insults and harsh words I hurled at you were something you should ever have had to hear in the first place.”

"......"

"Unless you were involved in this too? Was everything you've just told me until now a lie to get yourself out of this situation?”

"That’s not it.”

"Then demand an apology from me. You have the right to, after all.”

Daniel watched the man hesitate and look back at himself. His differently colored eyes narrowed as though he couldn’t understand Daniel’s intentions.

"...An apology isn’t usually something you demand.”

"Normally, no. But if I apologize right now, are you sure it would actually ease your resentment? No, can you even accurately grasp how much my words hurt you in the first place?”

Daniel found that both a little funny and sad. People who were too strong sometimes didn’t realize just how badly they were hurting. Even the largest lake in the world would eventually reveal its bottom if you kept drawing water from it without end.

"Sort out just how much the unfair verbal abuse and treatment hurt you and tell me. I’ll apologize properly for it all.”

"...Anyone listening would think I was the one who owed you an apology.”

"Did that offend you? Then I’ll apologize for that too when the time comes.”

"I don’t need an apology I have to wring out of you. Just forget it.”

Still, seeing the faint smile on the other man’s face told Daniel that his lake hadn’t yet run dry.

Daniel found that somewhat reassuring. He even imagined how much better it might have been if the two of them could have met under different circumstances, with the man in his true form.

"Reminds me of Scholar……”

A mutter clearly meant only for himself slipped from the man’s lips. Daniel didn’t know who Scholar was, but the distant look in the man’s eyes alone made it obvious they were someone precious to him.

Daniel deliberately pretended not to hear and stood up.

"Then I’ll be going first.”

In truth, there was another reason he couldn’t really help it.

"I left without reporting it.”

Daniel was currently meeting with the man after outright abandoning his mission.

In other words, what he’d done was practically desertion.

"...May fortune be with you.”

"...Yes."

Of course, Daniel wasn’t actually a soldier of this place, and the person currently acting as his superior technically belonged to a different organization, so there was only so much they could say about it. Especially since Daniel belonged to the Temple rather than the forces dispatched by the city.

Still, avoiding punishment didn’t make what he’d done any less wrong. Daniel descended from the watchtower, prepared to offer a formal apology to the person serving as his superior for now.

"...Old man!”

At the entrance to the watchtower, he spotted a young man fidgeting anxiously. He was someone no one could order around because he was directly attached to the Hero’s party. Surplus, essentially.

"...Please stop calling me that. I’m begging you.”

"Depends on how you treated the Mister.”

Anyway, Daniel could roughly guess why the man was hanging around here. Watching his gaze keep drifting past him, Daniel let out a faint sigh.

"Go on up. It should be fine.”

"......! There’d better not be so much as a single scratch on the Mister! Or else I’ll put a rock in your pillow later!”

So much for sleeping comfortably for the next few days. Daniel scratched his head as the young man hurried past him. He could already feel the back of his head starting to ache.

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