WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

[Translator – Aren]

◈ Chapter 334 If Only I Could (20)

「...I’m going to sleep for a little bit.」

I acknowledged the voice field with tears. I wasn’t sure if he would actually go to sleep, but…

Considering how much of a mess my own feelings were, how much worse must it be for Faust himself?

"Wait......."

But there was something I wanted to ask the Demon rather than the child. After asking Daniel and Meister to give me a moment, I closed my eyes. Darkness gave way to pure white. Then I opened my eyes again.

On the empty expanse, I saw the boy huddled up and the Demon bound in chains.

"For what reason?”

[If you don’t give me a subject that’s a bit hard to answer.]

“Why did you hide the cabin?”

[Just out of the goodness of my—]

“Don’t give me an answer even you wouldn’t believe."

At my words Wrath fell silent for a moment. The red orbs floating within her mask, with its horizontal pupils, were giving off its usual deeply unsettling aura.

[...Back then, that bat bastard’s errand boy was nearby.]

"Bat bastard? Errand boy?”

[By bat bastard, I mean Pride. Being called a bat is a sore spot for them.]

"So why did that suddenly come up?”

Pride was one of the Great Demons, right? But why was calling them a bat such a sore spot for them? Wondering if they had some kind of complex about it, I pressed Wrath for an answer. She seemed strangely hesitant.

[Hmm… Oh well, I would’ve had to tell you eventually anyway, so I guess it doesn’t really matter.]

After some time, Wrath finally stopped hesitating. [Actually, this worked out pretty nicely.] I could hear relief in her voice for some reason. The feeling of someone finally letting go of something that had been bothering them.

[First, if you want to understand this, you need to know how the pieces connect. So let me start from there.]

Clatter. She twitched one arm, wrapped tightly in chains, slightly. Something resembling a rock rose out of the ground.

[First of all, there aren’t many vessels I can inhabit even for a moment. On top of that, narrowing it down to ones young or unknown enough that their disappearance wouldn’t attract attention, there’d be even fewer.]

"So?”

[On the other hand, anchoring a soul to this realm without a medium isn’t an easy task. So what else can you do? If there’s no vessel…you have no other choice but to hastily prepare some kind of substitute.]

Wrath sat down on it and leaned back. It wasn’t a proper chair and seemed pretty uncomfortable to sit on, but she didn’t seem to care.

[Unfortunately, that bat bastard knows how to make that kind of temporary substitute. To be exact, they’re the only one capable of that.]

Maybe it was because she acted with so much composure. The sight should have clashed horribly with her elegant clothes, but somehow it didn’t look strange at all.

[But we’re not exactly on terms where we could just sit down and have a nice little talk, so I only ever dealt with them through their subordinates… Anyway, that’s why I sometimes traded with them, Gretchen. It was so fucking unpleasant. Just because they always had the upper hand, that bastard ripped me off every single time. Damn prick……]

No, maybe it was simply because Wrath’s personality and character were worth less than the dust trickling down that rock. I was entertaining such fun insults in my mind for a moment, then dismissed them since it was just a waste of thought.

"What did you use to negotiate? Don’t tell me you used money?”

[Of course. The currency of mortals wouldn't mean anything to us, now would it? Unless you were some stingy dumbass.]

Instead, I pickled out all the unpleasant parts of what Wrath was calling the truth so I didn’t accidentally start feeling something from her words.

[What I gave as payment were the souls of the bodies I’d taken over up to that point. I mean, think about it. A body capable of housing me, no matter for how long, must have a soul just as large, right? And large souls tend to make excellent sacrifices. Especially for someone with a hobby of creating synthetic monsters… chimeras.]

That wasn’t particularly difficult, actually.

The moment she could casually chatter about the stolen people’s bodies and how she offered their souls as sacrifices without a shred of guilt, it was more than obvious that this thing wasn’t human.

[Anyway, back then I couldn’t find a suitable vessel anywhere, so I was preparing to make another deal…and then, luckily, that kid showed up… Why are you suddenly throwing knives at me?!]

"Because you piss me off.”

I hurled five daggers at her like darts, then kept listening. Wrath somehow managed to dodge them or knock them aside with her chains, letting out a groan.

[My dear Gretchen, if you keep doing that, you’ll hurt my delicate feelings.]

"Get lost......."

Without even realizing it, I looked at her with all the disgust and contempt I could muster. Even that act was a great waste of emotions, but I simply couldn't help myself. So this was what dealing with a Demon was like?

[...To get to the point, it would’ve been troublesome if Pride found out I was trying to take over a body this good. So I stopped us from running into those priests and put up some concealment magic instead. I didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did, though.]

I don’t know. It didn’t exactly sound like she’d done it without expecting anything. Though I wasn't fully convinced, I accepted the explanation for now. I hadn’t actually expected her to tell me the truth anyway, but at least my question had been answered.

Even if it was a lie, that was fine. After all, most of the questions I asked that Demon were basically asked with the mindset of ‘It’d be great if it’s true, but if it isn’t, whatever.’

[My dear Gretchen… There’s only one reason I told you all of this without hiding a single thing.]

Meanwhile, Wrath drew one of her legs up onto the rock, supporting her hip, and spoke.

[Be careful of Pride and their errand boys.]

Her tone was completely devoid of amusement.

[They avoid fighting alone and unprepared whenever possible. They’re the type to command an army from their home ground, surrounded by weapons and traps they made themselves. And it’s not as though their personal combat power is lacking, either. They know and can wield more magic than anyone else in Hell…and most importantly, they can use sacred power.]

"...They can use sacred power?”

[They weren’t originally from Hell. In their home world, they were a being comparable to a god. They fell and learned to wield Demonic Energy as well, but that doesn’t mean they abandoned all the Divine power they had in their original world.]

"And sacred power is……”

[Its nature is different from the Divine power of this world. But it’s still just as fundamentally opposed to Demonic Energy. The fact that they can contain these two completely incompatible forces within their body is proof enough of just how damn insane that bastard is.]

So…basically, I should think of them as an enemy who could use both Demonic Energy and that sacred power?

I frowned at this new type of enemy, after already dealing with things that devoured Demonic Energy and Divine power. Sure, it was practically a rule that games go thunder the farther one progressed, but wasn’t this a bit much? I naturally started worrying about the Hero’s party that would eventually have to face them.

[So Gretchen, please be careful not to cross paths with Pride. And avoid their errand boy whenever possible, too. They’ll definitely report all the information they gathered about you.]

What was most infuriating was that Wrath was clearly desperate to preserve her own life. Right. So she just didn’t want me to pick a direct fight with Pride and get myself killed.

It wasn’t as though the warning was useless to me, but this advice entirely rooted in self-preservation wasn’t exactly something I could feel grateful for. If it hadn’t posed a threat to her, she would’ve kept as quiet as a mouse until the very end.

"Fine."

Still, it was better than nothing. That much was certain.

Thinking about when I should pass this information on to the Archmage, I turned away. My question had been answered, so I was trying to leave the mindscape.

But just before I left, my eyes fell on the boy curled up asleep with nothing around him. It’d been bothering me for quite a while already, but now that I was about to leave, it bothered me even more.

That damn brat didn’t take care of himself at all, nor did he have any intention of doing so.

"Goddammit, seriously.”

Why was he sleeping so miserably without even a blanket in a place where he could make anything he wanted? I roughly scratched my head, then finally altered one corner of the mindscape. A white cabin appeared, furnished with the basics.

[Why go that far……?]

Then I picked up the boy and carried him inside. Since he didn’t so much as stir, he really seemed to be deep asleep. Only after carefully tucking the bedding around him did I valve the mindscape.

"Meister."

"So finally awake?”

"You’re awake?"

"Liquor."

By that point, a strange sense of exhaustion had surged up within me. I was too subtle to call it irritation, and calling it sorrow or agony was also not quite right… Just a vague sense of helplessness.

"Thought you didn’t drink?”

"I changed my mind.”

I didn’t even like alcohol, and the experience I had with it was pretty bad, but right now I wouldn’t make it through this without a drink. Screw whether this was someone else’s body or whatever. I needed this for myself.

"Alright, let’s open another one then?”

“Do whatever you want."

"...Erm, do you know your tolerance?”

Meister pulled out another jar, seeming kind of excited, while Daniel looked at me with concern.

“This is someone else’s body, so how would I know?”

"...Please drink slowly."

Glug, glug, glug. While Daniel worried about my alcohol tolerance, a small but masterfully crafted cup was filled with clear liquor.

I knocked it back in one shot. I’d only expected it to be around a beer’s alcohol level, but an intensely burning sensation tore down my throat and into my stomach. Even though the liquor itself was only lukewarm at best.

I couldn’t tell much about the aroma or flavor or whatever, but I could definitely tell that it was damn strong.

"You really should drink more slowly……”

"Oh, damn. You can drink.”

While I squinted at the lingering taste of alcohol in my mouth, Daniel stared at me in shock. Meister, who could drink like a fish, seemed especially delighted instead and filled my cup again.

"Have more.”

I hesitated for quite a while but then knocked it back again. The strength and unfamiliar smell of the alcohol were quite startling, but the warmth that spread through my stomach actually felt pretty nice. At least this much might be enough to somehow help ease my frustration.

"I don’t want to forgive them."

No. Maybe it was because my stomach was burning, but the emotions that had been simmering inside of it already only grew hotter. I couldn’t swallow them back down anymore.

"...I really can’t forgive them."

"Well, of course you can’t."

"...You have every reason to feel that way."

I took another shot after the third refill. Every time the lukewarm fire passed down my throat, my body grew hotter, but something in my chest slowly began to loosen. It felt as though something that had been weighing me down was washing away along with the leash called reason as it burned away.

The dam that had once burst because of the Archmage began to crack again.

"Erm, don’t force yourself to forgive them. What happened to him is one thing, and what happened to you is another.”

"I know. I know that much.”

The fourth. Even Meister seemed to be thinking that this was getting a bit much, because he filled my glass more slowly now. But did he really think pouring it more slowly would stop me from filling the cup myself?

Thinking I’d pour my own drink after this one, I drank half the cup. Was I drunk? I didn't feel drunk yet. Though drunk people were said to be extremely bad at realizing they were drunk, so I couldn’t be certain.

"I know what happened to that kid wasn’t my fault, that I don’t have to forgive him just because I feel sorry for him, and that I don’t even have any reason to take responsibility for him.”

I drank the remaining half. A ball of fire settled in my stomach. It felt cold yet hot, hot yet cold.

"Then why am I the only one?”

Tap. The cup landed on the table. Meister didn’t refill it for me anymore, so I just exhaled through the heat rising inside of me. “Why am I the only one who has to take care of that kid, help him, and protect him?” It was a grudge I hadn’t managed to spit out in front of the Archmage.

"If I choose to go back, that kid will die. If I don't put in the effort. The kid can't be saved. I’m the one who was hurt, but somehow I still have to endure more before he gets a chance to live.”

Meister blinked twice, then poured me another drink, making a quiet trickling sound echo through the room. I’d been planning to pour one myself anyway, so I didn’t refuse. The sharp smell of the alcohol stabbed my nose, and the delayed drunkenness rising through me made my face burn. Hot. It was hot.

"...This whole situation is overwhelming for me as well.”

It was so damn hot.

"But I still feel sorry for that kid."

"...What happened to him is a tragedy, even rare for this world.”

"But it’s hard."

"Of course it is."

"But he’s too pitiful for me to just look away.”

“...If he were far away, that might be one thing. But he’s so close you can’t separate from him, and there are specific restrictions binding you together. I think it’s only natural to have such contradictory feelings.”

"But I’m hurting too……”

With every word I spoke, it felt as though the smell of alcohol rose back up my throat. But even that no longer seemed that repulsive to me. As though I were vomiting up the alcohol itself, I dragged out even the emotions buried deepest in my chest.

"...And meanwhile, if some bastard god sees a little kid being tormented by a Demon, maybe reach out a hand or something instead of just doing fuck all. Hell, if an innocent person is getting kidnapped from another world, maybe intervene then, hm? But nooo, they just stand by and watch that too, and then after I killed two Great Demons, they finally sent down some oracle or whatever just to fuck me over? Goddammit, I can't tell if they're incompetent or just lazy. I wish they’d at least pick one.”

"Uh…Huh?”

"Oh......."

“No, but seriously, what the hell did I even do so wrong here? What trouble did I cause, huh? It wasn’t enough that I ended up sealing a worthless piece-fo-shit asshole inside my body, I even killed two Great Demons and did nothing but good for this world, so why am I the only one getting fucked over? What are they, some toxic boss who can’t even pay me or give me some benefits, even though they dump their own incompetence on me, turning me into a criminal instead? They’re supposed to be a god, for fuck’s sake, so why aren’t they doing anything but bow to the strong and bully the weak? It’s so damn infuriating……”

Swallowed up by the sweltering heat, I took off my coat and undid a few buttons on my shirt. The heat hadn’t completely disappeared, but this was better than keeping all these layers on.

"Y-you certainly have…a great many reasons to resent God, but…wait, what do you mean by another world?”

“Thought you were just a pushover goody-two-shoes, but you actually had a sharp tongue in you. Nice, keep going.”

"Sir Meister……!”

"It’s not like he’s wrong from his perspective. And it’s not something he shouldn’t be allowed to say.”

My cup was empty, so why wasn’t anyone pouring more alcohol into it? I ignored the snickering Meister and filled it myself. They said pouring your own drink was bad luck, but who’d care about that now? My life had been unlucky for a damn long time already.

"That damn god was one thing, but those Temple bastards piss me off just as much. Who the hell do they think they are to treat me like some dangerous criminal? Do they think I ended up with this body just because I wanted to be like this? Those assholes think I’m only holding back because I don’t know how to get angry. I seriously want to poke those arrogant eyes out……”

"That’s just how those insane Temple bastards are. Useless as hell, but they still never know when to shut those stinking mouths of theirs.”

"They say recognizing danger for what it is comes down to intelligence, but I can’t tell whether those bastards replaced their brains with faith or whether they never had any brains to begin with and can only puke out that doctrine of theirs in the most one-dimensional way possible. Those damn morons don’t even realize they would die if I stopped holding back……”

Seriously, the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. Why was my life so damn determined to screw me over? Wasn’t getting my leg shattered and my face badly scarred enough to make me give up on my dream already more than enough hardship for one lifetime?

Why the hell did I have to go through all this crap just because I played a game I like?

"Those dumplings too… Hah. Forget it. What’s even the point of talking about them?"

“......?"

I drank the alcohol I had poured for myself in several sips. Which one was this again? The fifth? Sixth? I’d heard that one-shotting hard liquor straight could kill you, but apart from my stomach burning and stinging a bit, I was surprised I was holding up better than expected. Or maybe that was just my subjective impression, and I was actually already very drunk? Was I?

[...My dear Gretchen. I was going to keep quiet as much as I could, but how about you stop drinking soon? Or burn the alcohol away with Demonic Energy?]

I wasn’t sure about anything else, but I definitely felt hot. I rolled up my sleeves too. My hands slipped a few times, but I managed.

[Although that body is superior to an ordinary person’s, it can't completely prevent certain substances from affecting it, you know? You remember collapsing from poison several times, right? Even I can’t do much about acute alcohol poisoning……?!]

But the fact that I’d messed up a couple of times was annoying enough already. So was the voice echoing inside my head. No, actually, her very existence was the problem.

"What the hell is a bastard that Jesus and Buddha would cut ties with the moment they see you lecturing me for……?”

[They’re from a different world. They probably wouldn’t even be able to use their powers here.]

"You’ve got the kind of personality that would get you disowned even if you were from the same world. You’ll never get back home, and you’ll spend eternity in Hell choking on pig’s droppings, you piece of shit……"

[...You really get surprisingly vicious when you decide to insult someone.]

Honestly, I wanted to crack my own skull open and rip her out of me. Faust probably felt the same way, now that I thought about it. But could we really not try something like that?

I put my hand to my forehead. It felt refreshing. My anger faded for a moment as my attention shifted to the coolness of my hands.

I stayed still with my hand pressed to my forehead.

"Talking to the Demon?”

At that moment Meister asked through a mouthful of snacks. Daniel flinched.

"...Sir."

"...If only I could beat that bastard up just once, I wouldn’t ask for anything else.”

I didn’t think violence was an appropriate form of punishment, nor was I the type to feel better from hurting others, but Wrath was the only exception. I genuinely wanted to hit her. Even just a good smack across her back would do.

"Ah, speaking of that.”

"......?"

"Can’t you put her into that Ratel thing like the kid did and bring her outside?”

"......!"

Even with my head burning, I immediately understood what Meister was getting at. It was almost instinctive.

Even Daniel stared at me with wide eyes. Hope. The same emotion appeared in both our eyes.

"Can you?”

"...Can you?”

[Why the hell would I do that? You think I’d come out when I know you’re going to beat me up, Gretchen?]

"Goddammit........"

Of course, that dream vanished in an instant. Overwhelmed by this huge sense of disappointment I ended up blacking out.

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